i COULD post literal hundreds of strips with an essay about how i interpret each of them in a homosexual way. but instead here are some of the highlights. i'll start us off with some """jokes""". check the alt text for dates
here are some moments of jealousy or "i hope jakey dies". joyce has long maintained that her beautiful darling sweet dorothy is way too good for some loser like walky
i can ALSO pull plenty of receipts of dorothy being jealous over joyce. however this is a Joyce Post and i'm trying to stay on topic
"so joyce really likes dorothy, that doesn't necessarily make her gay" oh you thought this was JUST about dorothy?? here's a small incomplete compilation of joyce fangirling and getting flustered over other women. she sure does love describing her friends as pretty and cute
also, just for fun, here's joyce using her dorothy-induced magical powers (telepathy and teleportation)
believe it or not, i've been providing some of my SUBTLER pieces of evidence until now. here are some more obvious ones
these deserve to be individually captioned so here we go!
dorothy and joyce accidentally matching, which joyce is delighted by.
not necessarily that gay on its own, but consider... the callback!
getting dorothy to say she loves you is "the best possible thing anyone could ever be given". notably, there are several unfinished sentences here. you just know joyce wouldn't have fumbled that hard if she was in walky's place
look at how her face lights up when dorothy wants to spend time with her. (to... take her to dinner.)
joyce rejects your boyfriend and substitutes herself
they sure do seem thrilled to have their "lady time"
joyce's nearly unfazed and certainly not disappointed reaction to waking up next to dorothy... versus her abject horror at waking up next to walky
i had to shuffle some of these out of chronological order because the last two deserve to be the closer for this post. bear with me here. in the meantime, here's joyce's reaction to dorothy doing something she vehemently disagrees with. note how she explicitly says that "any other person" would not get this reaction.
and finally, here's joyce packing dorothy a strangely gay sack lunch.
the callback is INCREDIBLE. do you think anybody ever told her.
anyway... i hope you all enjoyed this small sampler of the buildup to Sudden And Immediate Gaying Of Joyce. it really came out of nowhere. we havent even touched on the laundry incident.
Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.
I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."
And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.
At the start of the Pandemic, my spouse’s grandmother was in an assisted-living home, and of course they were severely locked down, because with no vaccination available and we don’t really know how it spreads and no tests and anyone over 80 is deffo gonna die…. They couldn’t take the risks. So they weren’t even allowed to leave their rooms. Staff brought meals and left them outside the door, and they left dishes outside, and that was just their life for the foreseeable future.
So we tried to make sure someone called her every day, so she would have some kind of interaction, and one time my spouse asked how she was doing, and her attitude was basically, “Yeah, this happens sometimes.”
Because that was her life. She did live through the depression, she did lose three siblings to the last pandemic. She did live through WWII, and sent a son off to Vietnam, and made a family and a household and a career while knowing one slip of a button might wipe out all life on earth. And she lived through it; she survived.
And so 2020 wasn’t the end of the world, for her. It was just another thing. Because life is made up of sunshine and rainbows and puppy dogs, AND ALSO fascists and violence and rancid millionaires living high while people starve. And when you are in the middle of the shit times, you acknowledge that they’re shit, and also that they are not exclusively shit, because they still include spring days and new flowers and people taking care of each other.
And it was just… a really helpful perspective to get. You can survive it, you can become strong enough to live to 103 despite everything, you can become a source of strength and joy for everyone around you.
Okay so I got Rednote because I heard about the whole migration thing and I never bothered to sign up before, and the cultural exchange has just been really fascinating
For a lot of people, it's the first time they've been able to directly interact with foreigners and make use of the mandatory English classes that they've been taking since elementary school
This is a special in moment in time, where the people in both countries can just converse and see just how similar they really are. Many people are staying up late to really get the most out of it because we don't know how long this can last
Lots of misconceptions being corrected, including but not limited to: Americans don't get period cramps, Christmas and Jesus are Korean, all Americans have big houses like on TV, work in the U.S. is easygoing
Finding similarities between parents, like asking if they're digging a hole to the U.S., or saying that when they were little they had to walk uphill to school in the snow both ways
Two things they were shocked by: cost of university (in China, the better the school, the less you pay), and learning about rural food deserts in the U.S. ("aren't they farmers?")
Lots of comparisons on the cost of rent/groceries/medical costs/salary/work hours etc, with the resulting sentiment that the common people everywhere really are the same and have a common enemy
Lots of them have changed their typing habits so that it's easier to machine translate and are now stuck with a sort of "translation accent" in their Chinese from reading so much machine translated Chinese
After the Americans joined, the quality of the posts have gone way up ("Rednote algorithm knows there's guests here and so is serving the best dishes now" / "Why has Rednote been hiding the good stuff? The guests are worthy but we aren't?")
Also there was a post asking Americans to post pics of their work lunches, but I think the Chinese users might've been disappointed by the comments, because half the comment section was pictures of empty hands ("Didn't have the time") or like. a cup of coffee
As many of you know, way back in 2020 we weren’t sure if our business was gonna make it. Our factory was already on break for Lunar New Year–a month-long holiday for many businesses in the area–and with the announcement of COVID19, everything shut down indefinitely. We knew immediately we were in for a bad time. Despite our fears, our sales grew so far beyond anything we ever expected, to the point where we had to hire two employees just to keep up with demand!
Unfortunately, even after our factory reopened, our problems were not over. Their quality drastically declined almost immediately, to the point that a significant amount of our fabric would literally fall apart in transit between the factory and our office. Because of this, we discovered that our sales rep had no idea what she was doing and knew nothing about the factory she was representing, so when we told her the fabric was garbage her response was “👍 factory said it’s good!” At the beginning, only roughly 10% of our new product was defective and we were able to sell the affected items with a reasonable discount. By the end of our relationship with that factory, 40% of our midi skirts and 70% of our miniskirts were defective, some affected so severely that they practically fell apart when touched. And still, our rep said everything was fine and there were no problems and the fabric composition had not changed.
So in 2022 we changed factories. We hired Ash to handle this since I was way too busy managing fulfillment to do the amount of research and communication necessary to find us a factory that met our criteria. Finding clothing factories that can make clothing over a size 2-3X is significantly more difficult than one that can’t because it often requires larger and more expensive machinery. But Ash did it: she got us set up with a new factory that has excellent certifications for both their labor practices and their methods for textile production, that delivers consistent, high quality sewing on well made fabric that can be printed without suffering loss in detail–and she was armored with the knowledge for what makes a quality garment so she could check them if they tried to screw us on quality. Their minimum orders were way higher than our previous factory’s, so we decided to focus on ordering more units of fewer designs. We ordered way too much our first round–some of those designs were in stock until the 2024 blowout sale! But it worked out, and slowly we had a warehouse full of stuff to sell.
Fast forward to 2024, business is slowing down between the economy being bad and what seemed to be a general skirt fatigue amongst our customers. We tried expanding into shirts, which would’ve been successful if our minimums were lower. In the late spring we realized we were in trouble if we didn’t make drastic changes and we ultimately decided to end in-house fulfillment and transfer to a third party fulfillment center that would support domestic shipping in Canada and eventually the UK, EU, and Australia. In order to make that transition affordable we drastically discounted everything and that sale was super successful! We were able to begin shipping from the fulfillment center with an almost clean slate, even if it did mean having to close the store for almost two months and thereby missing out on two very important months of sales.
Unfortunately, we were stupid. We continued to order new designs on an every other month schedule instead of switching to an every month schedule, forgetting that having a backstock in a variety of designs is what previously helped us float between orders and now we quite literally didn’t have enough inventory to match the sales we made for last year’s holiday sale.
That brings us to now.
We’re a little stuck. We have a round of skirts in production (yay!) but they won’t get here until February (boo!). To get back on that monthly cycle we would need to order the next round of skirts right now, but we can’t pay for production until that next round of skirts gets here; if the current sale goes well, it’s paying payroll, not production. We are currently in the very difficult, horrible situation of not having enough money for next month’s payroll unless we are somehow able to make significant sales with our very sparse inventory.
We’re scrappy and we do our best to adapt to disasters and I’m sure we’ll find a way to adapt to this one as well, it’ll just take us some time to get there. Basically we’re going to be okay eventually–hopefully later this year–but in the meantime if we seem frantic, now you know why.
If you’re been considering trying out our viscose shirts but haven’t been able to justify paying full price, they’re on clearance PLUS half off right now! That’s $9-$15 for the viscose tops, and other tops on clearance are $20-$45. Some of the shirts we’re having a LOT of trouble selling are now priced below cost to help us recoup some of the money we spent making them.
Any amount of support helps right now. Sharing posts, telling your friends, buying a $9 shirt–all of it helps. If our clothing isn’t your thing, we also have a Patreon you can support for as little as $1 a month. https://www.patreon.com/mayakern
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day and that 2025 is a brighter, kinder year for us all.
honestly i was not expecting people outside of our immediate customer base to see this post, but i can see a bunch of you are sharing it and i really appreciate it.
for those of you who don't already know us, we are a small business run by me (maya) and my wife devin. we design and sell ethically made, size inclusive clothing that is made to last.
our staple are fun, illustrated skirts that fit sizes XS-8X and have pockets deep enough to fit an entire nintendo switch, joycons and all.
we also have some cute shirts and sweaters that fit sizes S-6X, which are super duper on sale right now!
plus our new loungewear set and a couple dresses as well!
Maya Kern's online store for skirts, enamel pins, journals and more! For shoes, masks, and other products visit my Threadless shop.
I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.
I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi
One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.
I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.
As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection between artist and inventor.
Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.
We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt them one-at-a-time. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --beyond getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'
...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'
Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship.
Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.
Hm.
I'm also reminded of the M25.
The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.
That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication of Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.
Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.
But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself while surviving), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil influence~ is spread nice and thin.
It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:
The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.
(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)
In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.
Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice...! :)"
11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'
(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)
They don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.
Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.
It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:
He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.
(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?
...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale enough to make poor Leo sick)
Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of, apart from Aziraphale.
Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).
Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."
To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.
...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?
...Anyway.
There's also the matter of the crank handle.
This thing:
This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.
The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.
He made stars with it.
[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]
If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:
Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.
Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them, cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.
I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity, actually. One from long-lost days when he could make beautiful things.
(And he loved it. Still loves it, I'd say --he incorporated it into the Bentley, didn't he?)
Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?
He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.
Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.
Crowley was not that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He has no sword.
...And yet.
It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.
In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.
Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?
Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?
What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?
...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.
This is so so good. And I hope you don't mind me adding something I have been thinking about it ever since I read the word polymath take here to this but... sometimes an engineer is also a gardener. Because Crowley, in all of his forms, has always been someone who plants a seed and steps back to let it grow. And, yes, maybe he occasionally needs to step in to do some cultivation work and tip the scales in a certain direction, but by and large what we see him most involved in is in the initial spark that blooms into something more. His tool in itself reflects this too. Circular motion that gains momentum as it goes, creating an effect that causes something bigger to swell up from the energy it’s created.
Like this post says, his actions have cascade effects, whether it’s setting up the start of a nebula that will constantly be producing stars, or setting up a roadway that will cause bubbles of frustration with relatively low level side effects, or giving a surgeon the idea to wash his hands, or choosing to play the role of a Nanny. He’s not constantly shaping what he builds, just nurturing what’s there to work with. Not quite as hands off as the Almighty is or as controlling as the structures of Heaven and Hell.
And to some degree I think you can look at him as playing this role for Aziraphale too. He creates spaces for Aziraphale to grow and explore and change if he wants, applying a little bit of pressure when he thinks necessary but by and large just presenting the idea and waiting to see what Aziraphale does with it. It’s important, I think, that we don’t really see him do this with Aziraphale in any serious way until he’s sure Aziraphale is already heading down those pathways on his own. It’s not until after Aziraphale has already reached out to him that Crowley recognizes this is something he can help cultivate. And to his credit, Aziraphale, by and large, has nearly always chosen, even if he’s done so in different ways, to help Crowley let it grow. Crowley who, notably, throughout the context of most of their relationship, did know that eventually the world was going to end and that his stars would one day get shut down as a result of it. He spent 6000 years knowing that the plan had condemned everything he’d built and nurtured and watched grow. But Aziraphale is different in this one way. Odds are Aziraphale would survive the apocalypse. And that I think maybe is where the protectiveness comes from to some degree, at least at first. So long as they don’t get caught Aziraphale is maybe the one thing Crowley can have that he can guarantee will persist. So long as they’re careful, he will continue to have chances to grow and change and be surprising even if Crowley himself ceases.
a scooby-doo origin story where Daphne, Fred, Velma, and Shaggy are all serving detention together and none of them (save for maybe Fred and Daphne) have ever really talked before, but they talk in detention. they have fun, they're bonding, it's a real Breakfast Club situation, and as detention ends they're walking home and they see a dog digging through the garbage of a local restaurant
he's big, but he seems sweet and he's obviously hungry, so the gang approaches him to see if he has a collar. Shaggy manages to get to him first, and the dog immediately takes to him, giving him a big dog kiss and cuddling up to him, but the dog seems to like all of them
upon finding he doesn't have a collar, Shaggy, scratching behind his ears, rhetorically asks, "What's your name, buddy?"
and the dog answers, "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!"
after a minute of freaking the FUCK out and asking each other "y'all heard that, right?" the kids decide to take the dog (who they immediately start calling Scooby-Doo, Scoob, or Scooby for short) home, and find that not only can the dog talk, he displays human-level intelligence and is easily frightened. when they ask where he came from, he doesn't seem to know, but when they walk past an old, abandoned shopping complex on the edge of town, he completely freaks out...and there are weird noises coming from that complex at night....and some suspicious sightings....
the first mystery they investigate together is the mystery of what in God's name is going on here
@imdefnotvanessa thank you for giving me indirect permission to talk more <3
Fred: He has never been in trouble before in his life, he's every teacher's favorite and an all-around Very Nice Boy. He got detention for fighting and everyone is SHOCKED... until they find out that Fred was trying to stand up for a younger student who was getting bullied. Fred wanted to resolve things with words, things escalated, and Fred punched the bully in the face... and broke his own hand doing so. He instantly started apologizing and confessed the minute a teacher turned up to ask what was happening. He then started crying. Everyone who hears the full story is like, "Yeah, that makes more sense." Technically he should've gotten suspended for punching someone, but because he's such a nice, well-liked kid and it was a first time offense and he WAS defending someone, he got off with a week's worth of detention and a call home. He's in detention like "oh God I'm a CRIMINAL who has brought SHAME upon my WHOLE FAMILY" and everyone else is like, "First time?"
Shaggy: He's generally good at gym class, he doesn't mind the running or the team building games, but when he found out he'd have to play dodgeball, he said, with all due respect to the coach, he was Not Doing That Shit. He cut a week's worth of gym class and got two weeks' worth of detention in exchange.
Velma: She's pretty much singlehandedly pulling up the school's collective GPA, but cannot resist contradicting her teachers. This can range from "I respectfully disagree with your interpretation of Arthur Miller" to "You realize you are literally teaching us white supremacist rhetoric, right?" The latter tends to land her in trouble. Also has a habit of sneaking banned books into the school library where she volunteers, but no one can prove it's her and even if they could, no one's sure how to go about punishing someone for GIVING the school stuff. The librarian really likes her but can't do much to protect her from the less progressive members of the faculty.
Daphne: Her family's incredibly influential in politics and donates a lot to the school, so Daphne can usually skate consequences for texting in class, skipping class, showing up late, and turning in her work late. She's very friendly and charming but a lousy student. However, there's one very persistent first-year teacher who recognizes how smart she is and thinks someone needs to push her to actually do something with her intelligence and skills. This teacher is the one who likes Daphne best, but is also the hardest on her and the only one to give her detention, her parents be dammed. Daphne respects them for it and is usually willing to take it in stride, even as her mom threatens to make a stink about it.
Other ideas for this concept:
None of the kids like to say they "own" Scooby as he's obviously his own person, but legally he's Shaggy's dog and lives with him. (Fred lives in an apartment that doesn't allow dogs, Velma's mom is allergic, and Daphne's parents would never let an animal in their house.) However, they all share responsibility for taking care of him; Daphne paid for his license and registration, Fred comes over to walk him a couple times a week, and Velma brings him food from her place sometimes.
The fact that Scooby can talk is the world's worst kept secret. The kids TRY to keep it under wraps for his safety but it's not going well.
The kids gradually come to accept that something supernatural is going on, in this order: Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, and then finally Velma, who is still not convinced Scoob isn't an alien.
Daphne's father is a local politician now running for governor and it sucks, she's actively praying he'll lose. Her mom is a very successful lobbyist and spends a lot of time in DC. Daphne barely tells them anything about her personal life.
Fred's family is working class, his mom teaches at the school and his dad is a mechanic at a local garage. Fred works there too on weekends. His parents are super sweet and supportive.
Shaggy's parents are super chill, one of his moms is a mildly successful author who waits tables during the day, his other mom works as a dentist and is always on his case about flossing.
Velma's parents are both college professors, her mom is a lauded physicist and her dad's a historian currently on sabbatical to write a book. They love that Velma wants to follow them into academia but also encourage her to make friends.
The Mystery Machine is this ANCIENT RV Fred's uncle gave him for his birthday, Fred has been fixing it for ages and ages and it's finally in working condition again.
Daphne has a credit card but her parents can see everything she buys so the gang treats it as an "emergencies only" thing because Mr. and Mrs. Blake would NOT approve of her solving mysteries.
Romeo: I would die for you.
Juliette: Okay, well, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen.
THIS SUMMER
(Begin upbeat/exciting background music)
Benvolio: She’s in love with Romeo but her parents want her to marry Royalty.
Mercutio: That’s where I come in.
SHAKESPEARE’S GREATEST TRAGEDY
Romeo (grinning in realization): A marriage of convenience.
Juliette (with hopeful laughter in voice): This could actually work!
NOW BECOMES
Romeo (to Mercutio): What do you get out of it?
Mercutio: My inheritance, my parents stop pushing girls on me, and I get to keep doing your cousin.
Benvolio: He gets to keep…yeah.
THE GREATEST COMEDY
(Shot of the four of them running through the streets, hollering, laughing with masquerade masks on)
(Shot of Romeo) Romeo: We just have to avoid getting caught for…ever.
(Tybalt talking to Paris) Tybalt: I don’t think they’re actually in love.
(Mercutio kissing Ben in an alley)
(Romeo taking Juliette’s hand as she smiles)
(Back to Tybalt and Paris) Tybalt: I’m going to get to the bottom of this.
(Shot of Benvolio) Benvolio: They won’t let us be together to we made things so we can be.
(Juliette in a courtyard, to Mercutio) Juliette: You need to be more careful, all four of our lives are at stake here.
(Tybalt and Mercutio at the wedding’s dessert table) Tybalt: If I ever find out that you were unfaithful to my cousin I will kill you.
Mercutio (music stop):………….cool, cool, good to know.
THIS TIME
(Another shot of a silly action sequence)
ROMEO AND JULIETTE
(More comedy)
HAVE A PLAN
(no music for finishing sequence)
Benvolio (denying Merc a kiss in public) We can’t…
Mercutio: (playfully) Is it because I’m married?
Benvolio: I don’t care that you’re married!…You know, in any other situation, that would make me sound so terrible–
What’s In a Name
JULY 2018
PG-13
(Spoiler: Tybalt ends up with Paris and helps guard their secret. Everyone lives)
[ insp. ]
Confessions of a Barefoot Artist @elleyena-rose - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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