ehhhh?

23 year old. used this site for so long, it feels like home.

[dragoncarrion]

Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this

[tortol]

picture i got at pride last week; here mexico

[ellie-insertsurnamehere]

This is very dumb but hey

[cheddar-baby]

What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

[cheddar-baby]

Hey? You doin alright @ghost--bot ??

[ghost--bot]

[heehoothefool]

[ellie-insertsurnamehere]

hey, it’s carnxl-roadkxll! i recently fell for a scam and my account is locked. why phishers would want MINE of all accounts, i have no clue, but i fell for it anyway. uhhhh, i’ll mostly be on ao3 as carnxl_roadkxll and on tumblr as carstruck-lovers if i don’t get ip banned and the scam wasn’t a scam. you’re the first person i’m telling about this because you’ve given me so much inspiration to write and i really appreciate you. i’m sending you this ask to get the word out that i may stop posting altogether and move exclusively to ao3. by the way, feel free to not believe me. i’m a random person claiming to be a random person— a little weird, i get it.

i’m not asking for money or free fanfiction or anything of that nature.

(this ask template has been copy-pasted, if you see it answered by my other mutuals, that’s why!)

Got it :]

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[hey-haven]

Feeling a little silly, a little quirky even

[memewhore]

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

Woman murders man in broad daylight

[theknightinslippers]

[halorvic]

[no-one-offical]

‎

[crypticgoose3]

beautiful like to reblog ratio on this

[drtanner]

That's because people are reblogging it every time they see it. Like I'm doing right now lmao

[tokkibean]

when youre stressed about your current wip, start a new one! now you can be stressed about two wips instead!

[beardedmrbean]

Rick Rolled a entire stadium full of people, epic.

[yellowcomics]

Not For Puppies

support me on patreon!

[ngk-they-said]

This is one of those works of art that sticks with you forever. My partner and I first saw this comic years ago and quote the “okay, but like…” in our dogs’ voice several times a week.

[afeelgoodblog]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!

[shrewreadings]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

[squidificati0n]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

[communistkirby]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!

[yoongisgayvanz]

i make myself laugh

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

[quasi-normalcy]

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

[thepictureofmadamec]

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming

[paulgadzikowski]

It’s like the Dumbo story, you’ve all probably seen it

[cartooncoyote]

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

[satanblessitt-deactivated201608]

There is no way this is a porno

[zombiesahoy]

This is the best porno there has ever been.

[usingtimewisely]

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

[foldingfittedsheets]

I hope today someone is in the lucky 10,000 and sees this for the first time.

[guruan]

Big smile

[stuckinapril]

Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

[stuckinapril]

She’s so one dimensionally evil you guys 😭😭 how is she real

[mintedwitcher]

read this and remember it. read this and remember that she is going to use the profits of her fucking ego-stroking reboot to decimate trans rights. read this and remember that every time you pay into her IP, you are emboldening her to hurt us more.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

trans lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.