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[jessepinwheel]

there’s a thing I think about sometimes when I’m writing that I call ‘the rabies condition’

by which I mean: there are no contraindications to getting the rabies vaccine for post-exposure prophylaxis.

every other vaccine usually has a few contraindications like ‘don’t take this if you’re allergic to it’ or ‘if you’re pregnant discuss the risks and benefits with your doctor’ or ‘don’t give to children below age 6′ or something, but not the rabies vaccine. if you’ve been exposed to rabies, there is literally no medical reason that can justify not getting the rabies vaccine–you can be deadly allergic to literally every single ingredient and the correct decision is still to administer the vaccine, because if you don’t, you’re 100% guaranteed to die of rabies. even the life-threatening allergies are a step up in survival rate (especially since anaphylaxis is something that can be managed, even if there are risks associated with it)

which is to say, the rabies condition: if a character has been ‘exposed to rabies’, aka, in some impending absolute worst-case scenario, like the apocalypse or some death curse or the destruction of their entire city via demons or whatever, then that character has to take action and the consequences and risks no longer matter, because literally any other outcome would be better, and 1% chance of survival is still better than 0%. that doesn’t make those actions necessarily good, the same way that injecting yourself with something you know you’re deadly allergic not a good thing to do, but it’s still better than dying horrifically of rabies. desperate times and desperate measures etc

and then, after your character’s prevented some horrible thing by doing some almost equally bad thing, they should absolutely experience the consequences of those choices.

[boringkate]

You play boardgames? That's cool (as long as everyone involved in consenting)! I support consensual boardgameing! Consenting adults should be allowed to play boardgames in the privacy of their own home! I like to practice ethical boardgaming with as many partners as the game's box recommends!

[maddymakesgames]

@thepandabaker you're so fucking right and you should be louder about it

[veliseraptor]

hate it when you're noodling on a story and all of a sudden you're like. "oh no. I have thought of a way that I can make this stronger and more thematically coherent and impactful. but I don't like it"

[boitterfly]

how it feels when everyone is online at the same time

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[elidyce]

Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers. 

Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’. 

“That is impossible.” 

“They’re getting out.” 

“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.” 

“And yet somehow they’re getting out.” 

“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.” 

*next day*

“… the humans were getting out.” 

“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”

(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”

[weaselle]

two things come to mind:

1 - at our own zoos the MOST notorious jail breakers are the orangutans, who exploit all manner of methods, including literal lock picking. One orangutan, Ken Allen escaped several times WHILE THE ZOO WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC without getting caught by watching Zoo employees, even when they tried to disguise themselves as tourists to catch him at it. While he was being “secretly” surveilled, he managed to escape AND show the other orangutans how to escape. They finally found out he was doing some thought-to-be-impossible rock climbing to escape. To fix it, they brought in a team of human rock-climbers to locate all possible methods of climbing out. So. Humans would absolutely be the worst to try to keep contained. Like, “escape rooms” are currently seen as a fun date idea. I’m sayin.

2 - animals that escape most often return to their own enclosure (after all that’s where their beds and dinners are, and if the zoo is any good it is the place best suited to their species-specific needs for miles and miles) after they have had sufficient excitement. Ken Allen the orangutan would escape and wander around the zoo looking at the animals like he’d bought a ticket. So if the keepers were nice, and formed a bond, and the set up was comfy, once the human knew they could get out if they really wanted, they’d probably go back, depending on how uncomfortable/dangerous the alien environment was.

I mean if they were raised in captivity. Wild-caught humans, all bets are off; depending on age of capture a return home could be a full blown obsession, the sabotage of engineering from mechanisms up to entire facilities is a strong possibility, and they may go on a murder spree with improvised or stolen weapons if desperate.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Humans consider an Escape Room to be a Fun Courtship Ritual

[roseapprentice]

The wild humans thing does depend a LOT on how good the zoo is, IMO. If you, as the alien zookeeper:

“Rescued” humans who weren’t thriving in the wild. (Aka dire medical debt.)

Made sure to take an entire social troop instead of lone individuals. (Your closest friends/family members are there.)

Offered VERY good care and enrichment.

Then I think you’d have at least a PARTIAL chance of your wild humans proving to themselves that they can escape and immediately going, “Okay but the zoo is obviously better.”

[bloodraven55]

LMAO OF COURSE THEY HAD TO

[ceruleankitkats]

it's so annoying when your weighted blanket floats away while you're sleeping.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 79 (masterpost here)

*connecting ping*

Jason, over the roar of a motorcycle engine: y'ello. just you tonight?

Dick: heyyy, littlewing! yeah, i'm just keeping an eye on some stuff, it's kinda quiet tonight. whatcha' up to?

Jason: actually i'm on my way back from an out-of-town mission and i'm passing Blud. figured i'd swing by rather than go all the way to Gotham tonight, if you aren't busy.

Dick: sounds good to me. wanna meet up and finish my patrol with me? was gonna get pizza on my way back home.

Jason: i'm down, where should i go?

Dick: uhh, 'bouta come up to Stark Ave, if you wanna cross lines there?

Jason: got it.

Dick: did you hear the latest bullshit going down over at the manor?

Jason, dry: 'latest bullshit' could be anything from some shit Damian did two weeks ago to something Tim did this morning; you gotta be more specific.

Dick: i was over there a few days ago and got the gossip from Alfred. *amused* B's mad at Damian because he thinks Damian's a bully at school.

Jason: oh yeah, i was there when that started. he's still on that?

Dick: you knew and didn't tell me?!

Jason: sorry. it's bullshit anyway, i just figured B would forget before we even got back to the cave. they're still going on about it?

Dick: they were arguing for hours. did Damian even do anything?

Jason, instantly: oh, yeah. he did that shit. 100% guilty.

Dick, in disbelief: what?! are you telling me my baby brother is a bully?! Jason, you were supposed to raise him better than that!

Jason: no- *wheeze* no, you're misunderstanding me. yeah, he's beaten a couple people up and made some kids cry, but he isn't a bully.

*a beat*

Jason: not intentionally, anyway. *engine cuts out* i'm here by the way.

Dick: what the fuck?

Jason, defensive: well- you know how Damian is!

Dick: less and less as the days go by... i'm above you, look up.

Jason: *chuckle* alright, alright that's fair. but you know how like, quick-witted he is? he's got the silver tongue of a fucking snake, it's annoying how good he is at insulting people.

Dick: oh yeah. i've been saying since he showed up in Gotham that we need to get that little guy into a debate team. he'd sweep.

Jason: exactly! but the problem is he also doesn't have any kind of regulation about appropriate levels of harshness in response to other peoples' insults, right? like... if somebody comes at you with a level one insult, then the correct response is a matching level one rebuttal or a level two if you want to shut them down. level three if they're an ass--but you get me, right? there's rules.

Dick, snorting: ok, yeah, i get it. Damian does not play by those rules ever.

Jason: exactly! this fucker's going around like it's a constant free-for-all!

Dick: -one time i told him he looked kind of like a chipmunk when he scrunches his nose and gets all annoyed. he looks me straight in the eyes and without missing a beat tells me, 'and you look like an echo of the man Mary and John Grayson wanted you to be. i bet you fall asleep at night thinking about how disappointed they would be if they could see the mess you've grown up to become.'

Jason: *loud wheeze*

Dick: -aND I WAS LIKE DAMN KID? FRIENDLY FIRE?!

Jason: SO YOU- *cackle* SO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN-?!

Dick: yeah, but i thought it was just a family thing! are you telling me that he's pulling that shit with innocent school children?!

Jason: *still cackling* no you- *choke* you gotta- you gotta give Day a break, man. he- *wheeze* he doesn't mean to,

Dick, starting to laugh incredulously: how is he not meaning to-?!

Jason: well he's- *laugh* he's not the one starting it, you know? like- these kids aren't completely innocent. the issue is, kids try to pick on Damian with their lame-ass level two insults, and- *wheeze* Damian keeps turning around to smack them across the faces with instant level ten shit-,

Dick: *wheezing* Damian no,

Jason: -and then these other kids start crying and snitch on Damian to their teachers, and when the teacher is told what happens it's shit like 'i told Damian he was a rich bitch and he told me i deserved my uncle's cancer diagnosis',

Dick: *losing his shit*

Jason, struggling to keep composure: e- *breathless wheeze* exactly! so obviously, it comes off that Day's a bully when in reality he's just an idiot who doesn't understand the concept of pulling your verbal punches when shutting down people stupider than you.

Dick: *delirious* god, this kid-! you gotta feel bad for the other students, right? those poor guys, having to grow up alongside Damian Al Ghul.

Jason: they'll fuckin'- they'll learn quick, that's for sure. you know it's not just verbal, right? i picked him up from school once and as he came down the steps towards my car some kid tried to trip him up; he turned with the speed of a fucking horror movie villain, grabbed the kid by the head and smashed him against the wall. then kept on to my car like nothing had happened.

Dick: oh my god. what did you do?

Jason: *snort* fuck'm'i suposed to do? i checked the kid was still alive and then bought Damian an ice cream.

Dick: OK- well no fucking wonder he's like this; with you raising him!

Jason, defensive: sue me for wanting the kid to not be afraid to stick up for himself! i don't want my kid being bullied by some twats in a Gotham private school.

Dick: aw, don't want him to go through the hell you did?

Jason, confused: what hell? i wasn't bullied.

Dick: ...wait. you weren't?

Jason: no?! were you?

Dick: WHY WEREN'T YOU BULLIED?

Jason, in awe: holy shit you were bullied weren't you?

Dick: WHAT THE FUCK.

Jason: *loud cackling* oh my god, you got bullied?!

Dick: *sputtering* i- ok well- i- fucking- a little bit, but to be fair i didn't know until years later that it was bullying so it barely counts!

Jason: how the fuck do you not know if you're being bullied or not?

Dick, indignant: well! i was very in my own head when i was in school! i didn't realise they were mocking me. they would just- *slight wheeze* they would just yell shit like 'hey circus boy, do a trick for us!' and my delusional-ass would just be like 'cool! gymnastics at school!' and i'd do one. i didn't really clock that-

Jason: *loud wheeze* that they were just-

Dick: -yeah they basically just made me into their circus pet in an attempt to belittle me, and i just liked doing the circus stuff so much that i didn't realise it was supposed to be belittling.

Jason: *laughing loudly* god- you make me so happy.

Dick, annoyed: i can't believe you weren't bullied. this is such bullshit, you were literally a weird street kid dropped into the most expensive school in the city. nobody gave you a hard time?

Jason: no? i- i mean- i'm sure they would have, had i given them the chance? but i didn't speak to anybody. i don't actually think anybody knew i attended that school. like- nobody from any of my classes went to my public funeral, right?

Dick, pointedly: how would i know? i wasn't there.

Jason: *wheeze*

Dick, snickering: no i- i did check the logs after i came back and found out; come to think of it, i don't think anybody from your school showed up.

Jason: see, exactly. i was in and out of that place like the wind. didn't speak to nobody, sat in the back of every class, did my work perfectly to avoid speaking to my teachers--i used to climb over the fence and eat lunch in that etsy witch's store a couple streets over to avoid social interaction. Stella knew more about me than anyone at Gotham Academy; i was invisible.

Dick, dubious: you used to eat lunch with an etsy witch?

Jason: yeah. paid her one time to cast some kind of spell on me that would make nobody in class want to talk to me. i was dedicated to this shit.

Dick: ok, so what you're saying is you would have been bullied in high school, but you got away without being bullied because you just didn't have any friends.

Jason: yeah. it was less that people weren't interested in making my life hard, and more just... people didn't think i was interesting point blank.

*a beat*

Dick: that does make me feel a lot better about me being bullied.

Jason: *wheeze* shut up, dickhead.

*three seconds of silence*

Jason: 'kids in Tim's school used to call him Young Sheldon.

Dick: ohmygod that's genius-

[hourphaned]

two superman.... the batcave is going to be flooded tonight

[silvermoon424]

Um, Mamoru did WHAT?

Well damn this man does lots of stuff huh

LMAOOOO PAUL ATREIDES IS FRYING ME

Okay, so in the R season there's an entire mini arc called the Doom Tree Arc. The plot and new characters are completely exclusive to the 90s anime. Basically, the Sailor Moon manga needed time to outpace the anime a bit since the two were basically neck-and-neck and so Toei decided to create the Doom Tree Arc to help pad out the anime.

Anyway, in this arc Mamoru loses his memories and the ability to become Tuxedo Mask. His subconscious still desperately wants to protect Sailor Moon and so it conjures up an alter ego named Moonlight Knight, who is inexplicably Arab lmao. Eventually Mamoru is cured of his amnesia, becomes Tuxedo Mask again, and Moonlight Knight is literally never mentioned again.

[silvermoon424]

@melonisopod I had to create your vision

[northw0man-deactivated20201019]

I will forever be profoundly unimpressed with people who take pride in their unkindness to others

[noemmss]

Getting back to my roots

[januariat]

had to make a superbat version

[flower-seeks-the-moon]

my favorite ao3 writers be like this

[yiddishfisting]

howling

[jackdawwhat]

how I love Boston

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[homophobla]

"I like yaoi because it's free of heterosexual dating mechanics" ppl when the larger more masculine boy takes care of and protects the smaller feminine one.