Clarence the Unicorn🦄

follow my insta: eloquent_overlord #alwayskeepfighting supernatural timeless agents of shield marvel sherlock

[ladyantiheroine]

Lucifer Characters as John Mulaney Quotes

Lucifer

Chloe

Maze

Amenadiel

Linda

Eve

Dan

Ella

Trixie

Malcolm

Lucifer, talking about Chloe

Lucifer, after every session with Linda

Everyone @ Lucifer

[como-chin-gas]

[earlgreytea68]

And that’s the stuff romantic narratives need. It’s not the sex scene that’s important, it’s the whispers in the afterglow. 

[anthonycrowleymoved]

a concept: crowley walking into a church on stilts so he doesn't burn his feet

if that works, at what point would that start working ? would platform heels suffice ?? this is an important question. crowley walking into the church wearing these

[dalniente]

the hilarious thing is he shouldn’t be able to stay upright in these, not with the way he moves his legs. every time he takes a step, every single human present is like ohfuck, this is it, he’s going down i’m yelling timber, but he doesn’t even wobble. he snakes his way around the church the same way he snakes his way around everywhere else: with his center of gravity on a pendulum and his Drama dialed up to 11.

you would assume it works because of the way reality forgets itself around him and aziraphale but you’d be wrong. he honestly is just that good at walking in fourteen-inch heels.

he ought to be. he invented them.

[evanthology]

I would officially like to quit struggling and start snuggling™

[eloquent-overlord]

Help Me

lowkey wanna be the rebellious cool kid that gets any guy she wants but also...leave me alone and let me mf sleep. ya feel?

[druigseternals-deactivated20211]

pierce: captain america knows you exist and will now not let us be. you need to take care of him.

winter soldier: of course

——————

winter soldier: you should eat more. your serum would’ve affected your metabolism so if my calculations are correct, you ought to be eating at least twice the average human being.

steve, spilling his coffee: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE

——————

steve, about to sleep: (:

winter soldier: it’s supposed to get super chilly around 2am so you should probably wrap up warm. here are some extra blankets

steve, startled: WERE YOU UNDER MY BED THIS WHOLE TIME

——————

steve, in a battle: dang i’m bleeding who shot me

winter soldier: here let me clean the wound and i’ve got a bandage right here just sit still don’t worry but when you’re done fighting you should probably get this looked at i know your serum heals you quicker but there might be something stuck in it and you don’t want your skin to grow over anything inside

steve, crying: who are you why are you following me

winter soldier: please be careful and make sure you get home safely

——————

steve, at peggy’s funeral: i can’t believe she’s gone

winter soldier, from behind: everything’s gonna be alright. she lived a long and fulfilling life. she loved you so much and she’d want you to carry on making a change in the world.

——————

pierce: soldat, mission report

winter soldier: mission is going well. captain rogers is eating more regularly, taking more care in battles, his exercise routine is no longer unhealthy. he is still grieving agent carter, but i believe he’ll be okay. last night he let me tuck him in-

pierce: i- that’s not what i meant

[asura-winterainfall]

steve: “!?!?!?!??!?!?!?? who ARE you!?!?!?”

steve after a few weeks of this: “oh yeah, everyone, this is my emotional support assassin gremlin, he lives under my bed and follows me around, still haven’t figured out where he came from but he’s surprisingly good at making hot cocoa”

everyone else, recognizing the winter soldier: “What”

[hallowthyname]

bring back agent carter 2k19

[everythingfox]

Paw²

[sharingsharoncarter]

All I want in life.

[cat-harman92]

THIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!

[exvind]

Thor Odinson, brother of Hela and Loki, Son of Frigga, Who Led the Warriors Three, King of Asgard, The Stormbreaker quoting an old friend when someone comments on his appearance, “Do not mistake my appetite for apathy.” Thor - 2011

[lokiedokiee]

Never slammed reblog so fast

[eloquent-overlord]

“sToP dYiNG”

-me, to my plants constantly

[itsallavengers]

Tony listening to his child talk gibberish and drool all over his Armani suit: That is so fascinating. you’re incredible. Continue your story, I’m intrigued. I love you more than anything else in the universe. You are already the perfect human being. You literally do not need to learn or do anything else ever in your life. I would kill and die for you.

[itsallavengers]

Morgan Stark: *Rolls over*

Tony, nearly fainting: A GENIUS!!!!!!!!!! A PIONEER IN HER FIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE CALL FUCKING CERN MY BABY IS SMARTER THAN LITERALLY EVERYONE ON THE PLANET CONFIRMED

[itsallavengers]

Pepper, holding Morgan up: Tell her off. She just drew all over your Iron Man suit. 

Tony: Y-…. That was BAD…. you….

Morgan: :(

Tony, immediately breaking down into tears: ohmygod I did not Mean That even slightly Morgan you are perfect that drawing is beautiful I am going to render it permanently onto my suit I love you so much it’s okay you have never done a thing wrong in your entire life and you never will

Pepper: 

[tonystarkdefensesquadmember-dea]

Tony: *starts flying around with suit that has flowers drawn all up the sides*

[starkcontrasts]

maybe i’m SOFT

[tonystark5ever]

Pepper Stark: Honey she’s three, she needs boundaries.

TOny: Okay baby. Gimme her.

Tony: …

Morgan: :)

Tony: I literally cannot, i have met my match, there’s nothing more to be done, she’s got me, Pep, it’s over. I’m getting her a pony and her bedtime’s never.

[copperbadge]

Okay but also courtesy of Tony “Go to sleep or I’ll sell all your toys” Stark: 

Morgan: *crying for no reason as all babies do* 

Tony: Stop crying or I’m selling you to the CIA.

Morgan: *does not stop crying*

Tony: HONEY, WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR THE CIA BABY SALES LINE

***

Morgan: *innocently drinking from a bottle*

Tony: Look if you keep doing nothing but eating and sleeping we’re going to have to have a conversation about you paying rent. 

***

Morgan: *says first word* Mama.

Tony: You are disowned. Here’s your bindle. Go make your way in the world.

***

Pepper: Tony, she’s being fussy, can you take her?

Tony: *holding Morgan comically ineptly while still managing to support her comfortably* We’ve had this discussion. How is Mama supposed to see to my every need if you keep acting like this?  

Morgan: *burps*

Tony: That’s an ad-hominem attack and I will not tolerate it. 

[eloquent-overlord]

crying in the club :(

[capt-wildbill]

[eloquent-overlord]

@johdehfromhudderzfield

you smell like stinky cheese and your blog is mediocre at best.

like blue vein cheese to be more specific.

[emmathompsonsmartini]

LISTEN HERE LITTLE PUNK—

I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS

[eloquent-overlord]

YOU WATCHED SPIDER-MAN WITHOUT ME AND IT WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN THIS IS A SERIOUS CRIME AGAINST OUR FRIENDSHIP

[emmathompsonsmartini]

YEAH WELL,,, WELL,,,

REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOU AND KATIE AND KAITLIN WENT TO THE MALL AND DIDNT ASK IF I WANTED TO GO?!? CUZ I DO

[eloquent-overlord]

I DO BUT DO YOU REMEMBER THE WHOLE WEEK BEFORE WHEN I ASKED PRACTICALLY EVERY DAY IF YOU WANTED TO HANG BUT YOU ALWAYS HAD AN EXCUSE?! CUZ I DO

[eloquent-overlord]

@johdehfromhudderzfield

you smell like stinky cheese and your blog is mediocre at best.

like blue vein cheese to be more specific.

[emmathompsonsmartini]

LISTEN HERE LITTLE PUNK—

I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS

[eloquent-overlord]

YOU WATCHED SPIDER-MAN WITHOUT ME AND IT WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN THIS IS A SERIOUS CRIME AGAINST OUR FRIENDSHIP

[eloquent-overlord]

@johdehfromhudderzfield

you smell like stinky cheese and your blog is mediocre at best.

like blue vein cheese to be more specific.

[mcgregor]

Billy Russo in Marvel’s The Punisher, Season 1

[lexxierave]

Can we talk about his hair in the 4th gif?! About how it falls back into perfect place seconds after the mask is pulled off and the small second when it’s messy is beautiful and it still looks so soft. And that’s all I’m focusing on now….more later

[akamatthewmurdock]

The Punisher and Jessica Jones - Cancelled by NETFLIX.

Me to Netflix: