em.c blogs

hey hey howdy! i write my thoughts, stories, and feelings. check out my blog, maybe you'll find something you like.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

heartache

let's talk about sadness. i know my blog takes on a more positive light, and that's because i believe that choosing to focus on positivity makes a difference. but i can't ignore that i'm sad sometimes, and pushing it way deep down and posting pictures of sunflowers instead doesn't get rid of it. the truth is we live in a broken world full of people who are hurting, and we all carry sadness in us. you're going to have those days when all you want to do is lay in bed and stare at your wall. you're going to become a master of fake smiling and fake laughing and faking it, because you don't want people to know you're two seconds away from falling apart. you're going to think about your problems and choke back a sob. maybe you’ll be overcome by nostalgia and you'll want nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were, to get back what you've lost. some days you might feel empty and you don't even know why. it's okay to feel this way. it's normal. please don't feel guilty because you think you're not trusting in god properly. please don't think that your feelings don't matter just because someone else has it worse than you. pain is not a competition, and while i believe you should count your blessings everyday, you don't have to be happy all the time. you're allowed to acknowledge your problems and do what's best for you.

maybe you look at all the times in scripture where god says not to worry, to lay it all down before him, and you think you must be doing something wrong, because you still feel sad or angry or anxious. but when the good lord tells us to "cast our anxieties on him"( 1 Peter 5:7) he isn't promising that everything is going to be instantly okay. he's assuring us that we can come to him and find comfort in his love. he's saying i know you're hurting and i know you're head is a mess and your emotions don't make sense but i have loved you since before you were made, and i will love you forever. i will never stop caring for you. we can lay down our burdens before the cross and find joy in jesus, but if you have to lay it down and then lay it down again, then that's okay. keep laying it down, keep searching for peace in christ. i pray that you find it.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

outer space

for as long as i can remember, i've wanted to fly. most people do i think. there's something about looking up at the sky that bring's this sense of longing, or maybe homesickness for a place we've never been to. the sky is so big, and when we look at it we think about going on big adventures. if only we weren't chained to the ground, we would be free to chase that feeling of greatness we get from gazing into that blue abyss. i think about outer space a lot too. i want to see all the galaxies, and nebulas, and planets. i want to see how big space is and how small we are in comparison. i want to float up in the air and keep floating until i reach the moon, and then i want to sit there and just watch the stars. or maybe drive around saturn's ring like it's a highway, belting the lyrics to all the songs on my playlist. i want to see it all, to be apart of it. in my mind being in a relationship with god is like that, like resting on the moon. you get to experience the majesty of the lord, see it all as it's spread out before you. god's driving the car, and your're chilling in shotgun with the aux, feet out the window. you've found what you're looking for, and you no longer ache for something unknown. you're free, and you’re content in his love. it's okay to want more than what this world has. we were made to dream big, because that's where we find god. 

[em-c-blogs-blog]

My Back to School Advice

Here's a little bit of advice for going back to school: 1. Work hard and try your best at whatever it is you're doing, but don't let it consume you. Study for that test, but take a break and go get brunch with your friends on Saturday. Go shopping or watch that new movie that  you've been waiting for. School is important, but it shouldn't be everything. You're allowed to have a life outside of homework, and you should. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself, relax and enjoy the simple things. Have fun. Talk to your friends in between classes and whisper inside jokes when the teacher isn't looking. Pack a good lunch so you have something to look forward to all day. You can enjoy yourself at school too. 2. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. It may seem like everyone is judging you, but they don't care. Trust me, they're too busy worrying about themselves too notice your faux pas. And that's okay. And while I'm on the topic, please please please stop comparing yourself to others. That girl in your chemistry class who's drop dead gorgeous? She wishes she had your hair. That boy who made the football team while you got cut? He's jealous of your sense of humor. That kid who's just SO much cooler than you? Their life isn't as great as it looks, and besides, cool is just a concept. Stop tearing yourself down, wishing you were someone else, and start building yourself up. It sounds super cliche, but be yourself. God didn't go through all that work designing a unique you just so you could try and be someone you're not. And encourage others. They may seem like they have it all together but they don't. No one does really. We're all a little sad and we're all a little broken, so be kind and help each other out. 3. Be bold this year. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Talk to new people, learn an instrument, eat that funky looking food, because it actually tastes really good. Hear where and what God is calling you to, and do it. Be spontaneous. You don't want to look back at your year and regret all the opportunities that you missed out on because they seemed uncomfortable or scary. And don't forget to live in the moment. Try not to worry about that project coming up or whether that cute person likes you back, and enjoy where you are now. Find what's good about the moment and focus on it. Listen to your friend's laughter, admire the way the sunlight hits the trees, smell the rain. Life is too short to waste anytime. 4. Finally, be kind. I know I already mentioned this one but it's so so important. You may not like everyone you're surrounded by (I know I don't) and that's okay. You don't have to be everyone's biggest fan, but you can still be kind. And you should. You only know as much about someone as they want you to, and chances are they're going through something that you have no idea about. Don't be that person who makes it worse for them. A kind word or simple smile could help them more than you think. And I know it's totally 2013, but WWJD? We're called to live as Christ lived and that means acting with love towards everyone....yes even that person. Besides, I've learned that when I've been selfish (which is a lot) I'm left feeling empty at the end of the day. But when you give love freely, it comes back to you. So have fun. Stop worrying. Live in the moment. And be kind. 

[em-c-blogs-blog]

a letter to my 12 year old self

dear younger me,

please don't be so hard on yourself. you look in the mirror and see nothing except a mess of bones holding together mistakes. you don't like the girl that looks back at you, and you want so badly to be someone else, or at least be as good as your sister. you search and you search, yet you can't seem to find one good thing about yourself. i promise you it won't always be that way. a day will come when your eyes will no longer remind you of murky waters but a forest, captivating and alive. your nose will become a piece of sculpted art instead of the lump of clay you saw before. bit by bit you will come to like your features, and you will cry, no longer because of what you can't change, but because you are finally happy with what you see. your mistakes, you will come to understand, do not define you. instead you will turn to god for answers about who you are. you will learn to trust his promises over your perceptions, and over time you will learn to see yourself through his eyes; you will learn to love yourself. everyday you will have to chose what you believe.

you feel lost now, you feel unsure, but dear younger me, have faith. 

[jondenden]

“In the end, it will not be the seas or mountains or canyons or clouds or galaxies that fill our hearts with wonder and our mouths with praise. It will be God himself.”

—

John Piper

(via

yourdailyinspiration

)

[em-c-blogs-blog]

I read once that sunflowers track the sun so that they are always facing it. I want to be like that with God. No matter where I am, I want to always being able to find God's presence, to set my eyes on His steadfast love.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

Hi! Hope this isn’t a weird question but why does God want us to be single at times? I’ve prayed countless times and I guess he just doesn’t want me to be in a relationship now but the question is why? I just don’t understand why I have to be so lonely ya know? And if it isn’t too much to ask, could you please pray for me? Please pray that maybe I’ll find a romantic relationship soon, and be ok in the meantime? Thanks <3

Hey! I want to start off by saying that God isn’t necessarily controlling whether boys/girls are in love with you. It might be that the right person just hasn’t come along yet. However, it could be in God’s plan for you to remain single at the moment for a number of reasons. Maybe it’s so you can focus on your relationship with Him without distraction. Or perhaps He’s trying to teach you how to be happy with yourself. He could be showing you that you don’t need a significant other to be complete because He completes you; He is enough.

Now, I have never had a boyfriend, and only one guy has liked me before, so I understand how you feel. God created us to build relationships, so it’s normal to crave love. A lot of times I just want God to drop a man from the sky for me, or at least tell my why I don’t have a boyfriend. We have to remember, though, that God works in His own way on His own time, all according to His perfect plan. He never promised that we would understand everything He does, but He did promise that all we had to do was trust Him, and it would all be okay.

With all that being said, I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Please never hesitate to message me if you want to talk. I hope this helped. <3 

[em-c-blogs-blog]

How crazy is it that the creator of the universe wants so desperately to have a personal relationship with you?? Like He formed the mountains and the galaxies and the ocean, but you're still His favorite creation and He just wants to talk with you and pour out His love and goodness over you.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

We can't take what God is handing us unless we let go of what we're holding onto to.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

self love

so often self-love is mistaken for vanity or arrogance, and that’s such a toxic belief. loving yourself does not make you conceited; it makes you happy, and it gives you respect for yourself which is so so important. fear of being considered stuck up combined with the idea that it’s cool to talk crap about yourself makes it so easy to fall into the mindset of negative thinking or not feeling good enough. i hear people joking all the time about being ugly or useless, and because i want to fit in and be funny, i joke about it too. but when when you constantly say something, you start to believe it. this whole attitude is so unhealthy, and that is why i encourage you to speak positively about yourself. even if you feel silly saying it, and it seems pointless, look at yourself in the mirror and the speak the truth out loud: you are beautiful. you are lovely. you are god’s creation. you were intentionally designed by a god who does not make mistakes. you are more than enough. you are wanted. you are treasured. you are forgiven. you are worthy. you are loved. the more you speak it, the more you believe it. whether you’re a girl or boy, old or young, love yourself. the king of kings and maker of the stars does. you should too.

psalm 139:13-16 

“ 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

   your works are wonderful,

   I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

   when I was made in the secret place,

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book

   before one of them came to be. “ 

[always-seeking]

Jesus must have had the most captivating eyes ever. I mean, imagine looking into the eyes of the one who has seen every sin you’ve committed and still loves you all the same. Imagine looking into the eyes of the creator of the universe.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

i love love love this. his eyes must’ve held more genuine kindness than any other’s. jesus was not a physically attractive man. it wasn’t the color of his eyes that made them beautiful; it was the love.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

son of man

jesus knows what it is to be human. he knows what it is to suffer, to be tempted, to be hungry, to be rejected, to be angry, anxious, in pain, betrayed, and exhausted. he knows the anguish of weeping for the loss of a friend. he also experienced the joy of life. he probably laughed with his disciples until his stomach hurt, or stayed up late with them watching the stars, in awe of his father's creation. maybe he loved the color yellow or dreamed about flying or had a favorite song his mother would sing to him. i imagine he woke up early to watch the sunrise, and sometimes he would take his disciples with him to make sure they knew how to find the beauty in life and appreciate it. he probably shared inside jokes with them, and knew all their fears and struggles. yes, jesus was fully god while he was on earth, but he was also fully man, and he experienced life just like we do; the difference is he lived his without sin. that doesn't mean he's not able to empathize us though. he still understands what we go through, because he went through it too, and he offers us peace and assurance through his great love. it's easy to think god doesn't know how we feel, but i promise you, he knows you inside and out.  

[em-c-blogs-blog]

hiraeth

i’m standing on the shore, and it’s midnight. the waves are unapologetic, and i want to be like them. i can feel the pull of the undercurrent tugging at the rawest part of me. i walk into the water and i keep walking. the waves are crashing over my head, and still i keep going until i completely disappear, swallowed up by the great she. no longer am i the funny girl or the nice girl or the little sister. instead i am just alive, not quite existing though, and there is something beautiful about being unknown. i float and i float and i am full of salt water and i float far, far away. the ocean is whispering history’s secrets and she tells about everything she’s seen. but not really because i never step in. i hear my parents call me, so i go back to them, because what else can i do? the water laps at my ankles, a final beckoning, but i ignore her. it all seems ridiculous now anyways.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

letting go// forgiveness

i had some rough patches back in middle school with a friend. due to some toxic stuff going on in the friendship, i wasn't always treated fairly, and lot of bitterness came from that. i carried this resentment with me into high school, and as a result of refusing to let go, the bitterness turned me into a bitter person. i didn't exactly treat my friend well, and instead of talking it out or admitting i was wrong for acting that way, i came up with every excuse i could for why it was okay. i realized after a couple of months that not only was i hurting her, but i was hurting myself. there was no way for me to heal if i kept holding onto that bitterness. look, getting hurt sucks, especially if it's by someone you love. but the only way to move on is to let go and forgive. i'm not saying it's okay for them to mistreat you, but whether the other person is sorry or not, you owe it to yourself to find peace. hurting them is not going to fix anything; it's only going to cause you more pain. but letting go of that anger is how you grow. you can't take hold of happiness if you're holding onto a grudge.

 forgiveness is a choice. i didn't understand that a first; i thought i couldn't help being angry, that i would just have to keep feeling that way until one day i woke up completely over it. sadly, it doesn't work that way. it'd probably be easier if it did. instead, you have to choose to not be angry any more. you have to begin to look at them though god's eyes and understand that god still loves them just as much as he loves you, and they deserve forgiveness just as much as you do. when you train your mind to stop thinking hateful thoughts towards them, you're able to stop feeling that bitterness. i encourage you to forgive endlessly. life is too short to spend your time being angry.

 ephesians 4: 31-32

[em-c-blogs-blog]

trusting the bridge

you'll notice that i choose a bridge for my cover picture. i hate bridges, or at least crossing them. i remember my family went hiking one fall, and the trail we were on led to the edge of a cliff with an old rope bridge stretching over an abyss, all the way to the other side. this was the narrow, hanging type of bridge, crowded with college kids trying to swing it as far as possible. i took about two steps onto it and was petrified. the whole structure looked as if were about to collapse, and i couldn't stop imagining myself falling over the edge. up until that point the trails had been so easy and pretty; i wanted nothing more than to turn back and stay there. the bridge was scary, but there was something great on the other side. all i had to do to get there was follow the path. deep down i knew i would be okay. i mean, plenty of people were crossing it just fine. but halfway across i felt like crying and my feet wouldn't let me move. i broke the number one rule of dealing with heights: don't look down. the ground seemed miles away, ensuring for certain doom if i were to somehow fall. i was caught up with all the things that could go wrong that i forgot what was waiting on the other side. if you haven't already caught on, this story could be a metaphor for life (oh my that sounds so cliche). sometimes we're thrown out of our comfort zones, and it's scary. all we can see is the rickety bridge and the abyss below, and we forget to trust god. we forget that everything happens according to his perfect plan,and he's us leading across the bridge so we can discover something beautiful. i made it to the other side that day (obviously the bridge didn't collapse) and what i found waiting for me was worth more than my fears. so have faith; it's all going to be okay.

[em-c-blogs-blog]

defining me

when i first decided i wanted to create a blog, my thoughts quickly went from this will be a great way to express myself and maybe share something important with others to i wonder how many intsagram followers i could get from this. that seems to be my problem. i'm constantly obsessing over how many followers i have or how many likes i get compared to other girls. i find myself seeking validation from things as pointless as someone double tapping a picture of me beside a pool or commenting, "WOW WHAT BABE" on my recent. it's this idea of popularity, of other people's opinions defining you, that's so toxic. i could be placing my worth in knowing that i am a child of god, that i am worth more than gems and rubies, worth dying for, but instead i strive to reach some made up standard of "cool". this obsession is holding me back from loving myself fully. even more, it's holding me back from following god selflessly. i knew i could use this blog to bring glory to god, but almost immediately i thought, no no it'll be more popular if i wrote about fashion or health or anything else. it's so insanely crazy that i know my worth is found in the lord, and yet i still look for it in other places. the thing is, it's a process. everyday i'm becoming becoming a little bit more like christ, learning to let go of these obsessive ideas and surrender to god. some days are better than others, but the important thing is god is right beside me the whole time.