To believe she would have done anything at all was idiotic of her. Her extremities felt cold, and her mouth felt dry. Her throat squeezed in just the slightest in both irritation and growing intimidation of the world circling around her. She didn't belong here, and the female seated in front of her knew that all too well. What the hell could she do if she went up there anyway? What if the girl the so-called boss was with wasn't even Eunah? She was risking her life on chance, but also on words coming from someone who didn't seem all that well-versed with the workers here in the first place. Sure, she might've recognized them, but what were the chances of her really knowing whether or not Eunah was up there or not?
Yet there she was standing in front of an unknown door with her trembling fingers clutching the handle as if it was the very thing that would shatter the world she knew. She gulped, the heat of the situation suddenly dropping a weight on her shoulders. She felt tired and disoriented all at once. She didn't know what she was doing. She could practically hear the girl just down the stairs laughing at her, shaking her head in complete victory as if she had won an entire war all by herself. She clenched her teeth, a low growl emitting from the back of her throat. She wanted to do something; to protect her friend from the darkness that lurked in life, but what could she really do?
She was weak herself and blind to the hidden side of the world. She hid herself in the lies of the government, believed that they did all in their power to rid the country of everything terrible, but what could they do? They couldn't protect everyone all at once and at that moment, Eunah was left to defend for herself. The only one who could do something at that moment in time was Minah herself, yet how could she do anything if she had doubt constantly banging at the back of her mind?
That was why she pulled away. Her fingers fell limp and not too long after, her arm fell to her side. Her eyes were closed, and she tried to push away the sound of moans coming from the other side of the door. She heard a male's voice, raspy and raw, grunt out a familiar name and she knew, that she wouldn't be able to open that door. She let her forehead rest against the wood of the door as she listened in both disgust and guilt.
Her body suddenly felt so heavy that she could only drag her feet against the floor, using the rail to help her not to fall. She was running away, she knew it. Whatever fight she had in her earlier on was suddenly gone. It disappeared the moment she heard that old man speak Eunah's name in such a vile way that Minah nearly felt the need to throw up then and there. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, listening to the loud music tremble in her ears as she zoned it out as best she could. She could feel her eyes on her, could feel the smirk on her lips when she saw Minah come down the stairs with no one with her.
She felt embarrassed, but more than that, she felt worthless. She trudged as far as she could but ended up sitting at the same table as the girl from earlier. With her head looking down at the patterned floor and her hands in her lap, she said nothing and everything all at the same time. Without moving her lips, she voiced out what the female from before already knew.
"I'm weak. I'm not a hero. I can't be a hero when I'm meant to be an extra, but you knew that already, didn't you? Right when I walked in, you knew what I tried to change."
ellievsbear
areudirty
annaxmalina
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
