I just realized my homophobic āfriendsā prevented me from realizing I was queer 4 years before I realized
god I said ārealizedā a lot in that sentence
ANYWAYS when I was in 5th grade-ish, I was with my āfriendsā in the school library, one of them asked another about Heartstopper. Now, Heartstopper is an amazing book that I love, and was probably what made me realize that queer is a thing I could be.
When asked about it, the āfriendā said it was just gay porn. (Itās not) Now when you tell a 5th grader that a book is gay porn they wonāt fucking read it.
I remembered the book and realized that the school wouldnāt put porn in the middle school library in 8th grade (ish) but at that time it was near the end of the school year, and Iād be leaving for good in just a few weeks, and queer club didnāt meet anymore.
And my mental health would have been so much better if my gay awakening was 3 years earlier. Iām one of the lucky ones, because I donāt have suicidal thoughts, dysphoria, etc., but still.
TL;DR āfriendsā delayed my queer awakening by 3 years by telling me the gay book was porn