penis explosion
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@encarta97
penis explosion
being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.
The binturong of being securely snuggled by mama’s prehensile tail
ball 1
penis
ball 2
“I turned out fine,” she says, staring so far off into space that you can see andromeda reflected in her eyes
A trans woman will say “I’ve made peace with it” while clutching a stuffed animal so tightly that it begins to come apart at the seams
it's tgirl pussy saturday. reblog to obliterate the united states of america and NATO
In a time when this website is heavily populated by princesses you ought to learn how to distinguish between when someone is The princess and when someone is Your princess, especially when the two titles belong to two separate princesses. You also must have the wisdom and humility to recognize that these titles should be weighted on meaningfulness and value rather than just bestowing both of them on whichever princess you personally are closest with -- it's fine if that is still the conclusion you come to after deeper thought, but it disrespects her and in fact all princesses to just default to praising her rather than considering her appropriately alongside her peers. Plus sometimes denying a lady right of succession makes her behave really cutely
Most of the time I love being the hare equivalent of a girl.
I’m like an elongated and wild-eyed creature that looks like the other girls but is different when you really get into it. Not worse though. Never worse.
my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "honorable knight" youll be zonked out of your gourd
me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit
5 minutes later: only in death does duty end
my buddy pacing: i am the sword and the hand that wields it
dr. swirlyglasses oversizedlabcoatsleevestoolong will see you now
Yeag
The three kinds of bird species name
1. God’s Specialist Little Boy
2. Hot Breasted Milf
3. Grey Bird With Brown Head
4. Walter’s Fingernail
@doveghost
@birdmentality
me remembering to jork it so that my peanits doesn't shrivel up
My edo period samurai roommate keeps telling me how i’ll bring shame and dishonor to our apartment if I keep forgetting to wash the dishes. Like whatever dude, I’m not the one carrying on a passionate yet illicit affair with the daimyo’s daughter whose hand has already been promised to another.
もう大名に「真に申し訳ございませんでした」と言いましたよ!と、お前は、我の浮気を公衆に明かさないと言いました!!
Bullshit dude last night I saw you texting O-Sumire haikus comparing her to the flower which gives her her name
The princess does not have "depression," it's called an Air of Melancholy and it makes me very beautiful in a dignified and subtly tragic way