cluster b positivity!

kit | they/it | bpd & npd

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

before i get into the introduction, i noticed that this blog has been gaining followers and i want to use this small platform for good. so please, take a look at @/el-shab-hussein's vetted fundraiser list and use it if you get asks about fundraisers!

with that said, howdy! i’m kit and welcome to my blog! i have bpd & npd.

this is a positivity blog for ALL cluster b disorders, including narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, and antisocial personality disorders.

important note: i do answer anon hate asks for comedy bc anon hate makes me laugh, i will tag those. i tag them as #ableism so be warned and block that tag if you dont wanna see it!

what positivity means here:

destigmatization of cluster b personality disorders

hpd visibility and awareness (bc y’all specifically dont get enough love!)

promotion of healing for cluster b’s — i.e. tips & coping skills to manage symptoms

clearing of misconceptions & misinformation, and/or the spread of helpful information for understanding cluster b’s

things this blog will not include:

embracing or encouragement of maladaptive behaviors — i.e. unhealthy coping skills

venting — while there are designated places for venting, this blog will not be one of them! however, venting in vent-safe spaces such as other blogs is encouraged.

interaction with ableist content — i will not be responding to any ableist remarks, claims, blogs, and the like. please refrain from mentioning ableist spaces as well. this place is meant to have as little negativity as possible!

other kinds of negativity — the last thing i want is to be putting other people or groups of people down! no hate and discrimination here.

mentions of ableism & other sensitive content will be tagged. if you see something that’s missing a tag, pls let me know!

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

they gotta rename like every cluster b disorder and i'm not kidding. all of them in both name and treatment focus on how a struggling disabled person is effecting the people around them rather than acknowledging their suffering. yeah this person has "crazy bitch disorder", "self centered cunt disorder" and "slutty attention whore disorder" idk man could we maybe actually talk about.. maybe why they might be acting like that? how that person might be suffering? no? no we're gonna demonize them because they are inconvenient? ok ok sounds good

i agree. looking at bpd as a particular case study, its name and diagnostic criteria have barely changed since DSM-III. that's the version of the dsm that was around in the '60s, in which "ego-dystonic homosexuality" was classified as a mental illness. in other words, we're using the same framework for cluster b that was used when people were desperately clinging onto ways to pathologize homosexuality. that is not acceptable to me. it's definitely time for a drastic rework.

(apologies if this is poorly worded, it was written on little sleep lol)

[deltorandagger]

Seems people have a lot of trouble with dealing with those who have narcissistic personality disorder. So here's a nice little quick guide.

Ways to deal with your local problematic narcissist:

Give them money.

Treat them like a person.

Hand over all of your money to them.

Explain to them in detail exactly how cool they are, they'll appreciate it.

Slip em a 20 dollar note.

Remove the phrase "narcissistic abuse" from your whole vocabulary.

Pay them in cash right now.

Punch an ableist on their behalf.

Offer them 50 dollars.

[averytiredbitch]

Give people with HPD positive attention, without making them feel like a "selfish brat" for it.

Listen to people with NPD without looking for a reason to shut them down or "call them out".

Let people with ASPD be apathetic to things, without making them feel like they're some sort of "heartless monster".

Let people with BPD be angry and feel their "negative" emotions, without making them feel like they're being "overdramatic" about it.

Let people with cluster B personality disorders have things without guilt tripping them over it.

Sincerely

- a person with BPD who's exhausted

[averytiredbitch]

Holy shit this post reached 1,000 notes! (1,001 now cause of this reblog).

I'm honestly surprised and happy.

Surprised that a post of mine would get this much attraction, and happy that it's this type of post that did.

[met4lwhore]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

[v4lerief4ngs]

Egotistical, manipulative, selfish, arrogant, rude, uncaring, abusive, ignorant, mean, bully, evil, entitled, etc.

Look at all these words english offers that are better than calling people narcissistic. More precise and not demonizing a mental health disorder.

For example: "The current American political party is egotistical." "My ex was manipulative and abusive." "That person is arrogant."

The argument that "narcissist and npd are different things" is not necessarily wrong, the two are largely and commonly used separately, but that does not change the impact. When we normalise calling abusive, rude or harmful people narcissists it sets a connection in peoples mind. When a PwNPD reveals to someone that they have npd that person is likely to immediately assume that they are evil and abusive no matter past experiences. Demonizing disorders through everyday language ruins lives.

( these words are not synonymous with npd, they just actually give better explanations than calling people narcissists.)

[borderlinereminders]

Learn to say “can you love me a bit harder today? It’s a rough day” and then explain how you want to be loved harder.

Learn to say “I could use some support. Are you able to provide some? This is how you can support me -“

Learn to say “I feel lonely. Are you able to keep me company?”

Learn to say “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can I talk to you about it?”

Do this instead of dropping hints or expecting someone to be able to read you. What may be obvious to you isn’t necessarily obvious to someone else. You’re often hurting your own feelings by not communicating your needs and just hoping people meet them anyways.

I know this is easier said than done. We often drop hints because we feel ashamed or bad about asking for help. But the truth is, for most of our loved ones, us hinting at things is exhausting. It can also set them up for failure because they don’t know your expectations. Sometimes they miss hints but sometimes they ignore them because it’s more draining when they aren’t asked directly. It’s very likely your loved one would appreciate you being direct.

People often want to support and help you, but a lot of them like to be told how they can do that.

[mental-illness-writing-advice]

Hello and welcome. I made this blog to help people educate themselves while writing neurodiverse and/or mentally ill characters. I can offer help for many different types of mental illness.

My goal is to help writers in creating characters with accurate, sensitive, and tactful depictions of mental illness. I believe that representing mental illness in a positive and understanding way is extremely important.

Things I have good knowledge about:

ADHD

Autism

Mood Disorders (Depression & Bipolar) without psychotic features

OCD and other obsessive-compulsive related disorders (such as BFRBs and body dysmorphia)

PTSD and C-PTSD

Personality Disorders (especially Cluster B)

Dissociative Disorders, including but not limited to DID*

ARFID

Things I have okay knowledge about:

Psychotic and Schizophrenia-spectrum Disorders

Certain Eating Disorders (anorexia, bulimia, pica)

Mood Disorders with psychotic features

Anything not listed here is probably something I have limited knowledge on. I will try to offer help and redirect you to outside resources if in doubt.

So uh, please send an ask if you’re looking for some help!

*footnote: I recognize and support many forms of plurality. Because this blog is centered around mental illness, I do not feel comfortable grouping all plurality under the umbrella of mental illness. Thus, I will not be covering non-disordered plurality on this blog. To all the non-disordered plurals out there, I see you and I support you.

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

created a new blog! check it out if you’re a writer, role player, oc maker, etc.! :)

[disabirbity]

Reminder that political figures, abusers, bigots and general bad people aren't "delusional", "brain-dead", "narcissistic" or "psychotic" for the horrible things they do.

They're assholes. Or arrogant. Or power hungry. Or abusive. Or bigoted. Or heavily biased. Or criminals. Or violent. Or aggressive. Or out of touch. Or genocidal. Or any other descriptive word for what they're doing that doesn't make an already stigmatised symptom any more demonised.

[vegetabletaxi]

AVPD is a personality disorder in cluster C. 34.91% suffer from alcohol dependence. 19.56% suffer from drug dependence. it is NOT the same as social anxiety disorder (SAD). it is NOT a lack of discipline.

thanks for reading y'all, this turned half informational post half vent, hope you can still appreciate what i'm trying to say.

[equalperson]

I find it so ironic how many stereotypes about narcissists aren't just inaccurate, but are actually the complete opposite of how the average narcissist thinks.

"narcissism is excessive self-love" when most narcissists feel shame more easily than non-narcs do.

"narcissists don't work hard" when most narcissists are prone to perfectionism.

"narcissists are abusers who only pretend to be victims" when most narcissists were abused in childhood and are often on the receiving end of abusive relationships in adulthood.

"narcissists don't try to fit in" when most narcissists are constantly watching for signs of respect or criticism, constantly adjusting our behavior so those around us will see us as competent and pleasant.

and then when you describe what narcissism is actually like, they insist that a narcissist would never act like that, that anyone who fits that description must just have post-traumatic stress or one of the "good" PDs (if they believe there are good ones, that is).

[hpdcultureis]

HPD culture is How do I identify a histrionic crash. Guys. Chat. Help me out here please.

.

[starblessed-muzzle]

reblogging this here also for my own reference too, but, how i identify mine is / things i do when im crashing are:

° lack of willingness to reach out to new people or try to start conversations because "they're probably too busy" or "they wouldn't want to pay attention to me anyway"

° watching people interact with the person/s that i want attention from and silently sitting there, even if it feels like im burning myself alive with jealousy/anger/betrayal/upset/insert negative emotion here

° self depreciating trains of thought / habit, ie thinking im useless or that i don't deserve good things (even if i know it's not true) and or not wanting to do even basic self care tasks because i don't think i deserve it

° messaging the person/s i want attention from EVERYTHING that comes to mind with increasing desperation because i want their attention so so so bad

° getting attention from the person/s i want attention from feels unironically like being saved. like they realized how bad i needed their attention and swooped in to save me from myself. unrealistic? kinda, but it's true.

° i am a. VERY very heavy self isolator when im having a crash or an episode. to the point where my partners sometimes have to point it out to me because it's so habitual i don't notice im doing it

° desperate attempts at hyping myself up; cute outfits and makeup and maybe scrolling through old posts i made while dressed up all pretty because im still pretty, right? i still deserve attention, don't i?

(tip: start a folder/album of pictures of yourself where you think you look super good/hot/pretty/whatever word you wanna use, and things you create or did that you're very proud of. i have that and it's actually helped me regulate a LOT during crashes + free supply!)

° rereading old conversations or times where i was venting or getting comforted. this can be a self soothing habit OR me trying to figure out what i did "right" to be given that attention. avoid doing this if you can because it can count as emotional self harm and. um. yeah. not good!!

i hope this helps 🫡

also for me if i ever come back and find this again: just go ask your partners!! if 🎶 can come to you to ask for help w its npd crashes or supply and if 🪻 can seek you out for reassurance and support during bpd episodes then YOU'RE ALLOWED TO ASK FOR ATTENTION DURING EPISODES AND CRASHES. I AM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH A CARDBOARD TUBE.

[stonergov]

THIS IS PERFECT BRO

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

hey, i was thinking about doing polls for each cluster B disorder. i’m interested to see some stats so i wanna collect some data!

the questions would most likely be about which diagnostic criteria you relate to, what comorbidities you have, etc.

would anyone be interested in doing these polls? i will share the results, and of course answers will be anonymous.

[lycansresources]

✦　˚BPD resources

All of the links below are either resources, research, and/or tips/help for people with BPD.

Found any outdated links, or any links that include misinformation? Please let me know!

✦ Resources/Miscellaneous

Basic info about BPD

(Book)  Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso

What is splitting?

Positive BPD traits

The DBT Travel Guide app - Apple / Google Play

Ways to rephrase your sentences

Your disorder does not make you evil (positivity!)

(Podcast) How I saved my own life

✦ About BPD

The DSM-5 criteria for BPD

BPD glossary; Terms and more

Types of BPD

What is BPD?

What does FP (favourite person) mean?

What exactly is splitting?

Safety and Rapid attachment in BPD

Basics of BPD

Understanding Borderlines by @clusterrune

Help to soothe Paranoia found in BPD

✦ Recovery Resources

The Emotion wheel

Setting Boundaries

Getting through feelings of rage

Challenging irrational thoughts

If you feel like you're about to be unwanted or rejected

An AMAZING list of self-help strategies; The HELP method, types of therapy for BPD, identifying triggers, and more!

Steele's notes on BPD; symptoms, skills to improve, and more

About DBT; Guide and basics to learning about DBT

Early Morning Barking; A (very fun!) YouTube channel about a man named Rich who struggles with both BPD and NPD. He talks about personal experiences and tips.

TIPP; A method for when you struggle with overwhelming emotions and/or urges to self-injure

✦ BPD safe blogs/Informational Blogs

@bpd-culture-is

@bpdsafespace

@epick-cluster-b-blog

@a-sip-of-milo

@cluster-b-culture

@clusterb-besties

@clusterb-itch

Is this list missing something? Please let me know in the comments, or send an ask!

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

As someone suspecting HPD (Diagnoses w/ BPD)

I’m very happy my partners are so understanding. They ground me when I’m splitting or having an episode.

Their okay with the fact I require a bunch of attention

And they don’t put me down for how my brain has been wired over the years.

They don’t get mad at me for needing to be the center of attention and they don’t get mad when I am overreacting on something small.

This is a friendly reminder to everyone w/ Cluster B personality disorders

Healthy relationships can happen<3

You are going to be okay.

You are NOT a burden to anybody. -🌻🍋

i'm happy that you have supportive partners! thank you for this ask! /g

[m1lkcartonang3l]

I asked a friend who is a sociopath (diagnosed with ASPD, he refers to himself as a sociopath which is why I’m calling him that) what love feels like to him and how he knows when he loves someone.

I loved his answer. He said “Routine. If they are a part of my routine and feel familiar and comfortable and I would feel like something is missing if they weren’t there, then I think I love them.”

I have bpd with ASPD traits and I think his answer was so cute. I think that is what love is like for me too but I’ve never heard it so succinctly explained, perfect summarization.

[status-quo-hater]

A lack of empathy is not a moral failing.

Some neurodivergent people feel low or no empathy towards other people. This is not an indication of moral bankruptcy or a sign someone is a bad person. You need to stop saying things like "Conservatives are evil because they just lack empathy.", or "The left is the party of empathy."

The word you are looking for is compassion.

Empathy is a feeling in which the suffering of others causes you to suffer to some extent.

Compassion is a conviction to do good for your fellow human beings because you feel their suffering should be alleviated.

The correct statement would be "Right-wing politics lack compassion." And the inverse "Leftist ideals are built on compassion."

We as leftists should not assume those incapable of feeling a certain emotion are incapable of acting with compassion, as that is deeply ableist.

The feeling of empathy can motivate compassion, but it is not required for a person to be compassionate. Those with low or no empathy can and do act with compassion. To care for others even in the absence of an instinctual pack-bonding drive to do so is truly revolutionary, and it should be recognized as such.