Ink & Arco - Chapter 9 (Elriel ff)
It's been a long time cominnn
This chapter took me longer than I’d hoped, travel has a way of stealing away free time... Thank you, truly, for your patience and for sticking with me! Can't wait to read your thoughts!!!
Inevitable. Insane. Pain.
It throbbed behind her ribs, bruised and bruised, settled into her bones fiercely, pain, pain, pain, more pain. Blue, lost, forgotten. She bit her lip and tasted crimson, metal and acid mingling in her mouth.
3:07 a.m. Sad, was this sadness she was feeling? Could a feeling be this strong? She stood outside the door like she’d done something wrong, ready to get scolded, ready to be changed. Maybe. Maybe she was wrong. Her phone had died an hour ago, or maybe it hadn’t, maybe she just stopped looking. Broken. Her heels had long since come off, useless now, dangling from her fingers like proof she had tried, for a little while, to be something polished, something other than insane. Something pretty, something tempting. She hadn’t cried. She should’ve. More pain. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Instead silence walked her way, it wrapped around her, the way his voice wrapped around hers.
The door clicked open with a reluctant groan, Nesta emerged from behind, barefoot and bleary-eyed, breathtaking even in her grey satin pyjamas, a perfect braid and eyes squinting, her gaze sharpening as she blinked at the figure standing in the hallway. Elain watched her sister come into focus, and she hated how composed she looked, how grounded, how intact.
There was this colour on her face, did she ever get sad or just angry?
She stood there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her hair in knots, tangled and windblown, her dress creased and stained, a small tear near the hem, a burning sensation on her ribs. The other hand clutching her phone, white knuckled and terrified.
Wrong, everything was so wrong lately.
She offered a sheepish smile, too brittle to be convincing. “I…um, I was in the neighbourhood.”
Fragile, absurd, the little white lie floated, it reached the ceiling and then vanished. She wanted to laugh at herself, at the stupidity of it all. Raw skin, thinking too much, unhealthily, walking and thinking, a sudden scream, a confession of pain.
Yeah, Nesta didn’t buy that. She said nothing at first, just looked. Sudden clarity, her cold eyes narrowed slightly, not trusting her, seeking the truth behind her glazed eyes. Elain cleared her throat, eyes darting to the floor, trying to cling to the script she’d rehearsed on the way over. “I was out with…Nuala. We had a couple of drinks. I… I…I think I’m a bit tipsy.”
It wasn’t that far from the truth, nothing really mattered. She let the lies hang there, unfinished, suspended, kept inside a vault. Maybe the cage would disappear if she didn’t touch it. Maybe if she didn’t say the rest out loud it would remain a bitter hallucination.
Nesta glanced at her phone’s screen, didn’t react before lifting her gaze again. Shame. Behind her, the apartment was unlit, still, shadows that remained unmoved by her arrival. Not the shadows that had drained the colour from her face. Gulp.
“You’re freezing,” Nesta hissed, low but not unkindly. Not warmth, but she did care. Yes, she always did and Elain clung to it like oxygen.
When Nesta stepped aside, she walked in too quickly, her body still stuck in flight. She brushed a curl behind her ear because it gave her something to do, something that she could fix, something she could be. The scent inside the apartment hit her immediately, pine, parchment, time. Christmas Tree Farm, her mind whispered. A ghost. Their father loved that scent. Distant, diseased and somehow everywhere. Pain swirled grief. More pain.
Nesta shut the door, the click of it closing made something in her flinch. Insane,
“You were with Nuala,” she said again, but softer this time. Almost daring Elain to lie twice.
Elain nodded, her pale face toward the window now, away from her sister’s eyes. “Yeah. Just us.”
It meant nothing. Empty syllables meant to hold up a collapsing structure. Lies. More lies.
“Right.” Nesta looked at her and still, didn’t push. Mistake. Big mistake. She saw the mascara clinging desperately to her lashes, the eyeliner smudged from fingers rubbed too hard, the cracked skin on Elain’s hands from scratching and scratching, digging and clawing, and it was evident that something didn’t add up.
The torn dress. The lies. The silence.
And Elain knew she saw it. Knew that her older sister was already fitting the clues together like pieces of a puzzle she hadn’t asked to receive.
But Nesta would always be Nesta. She wouldn’t say anything. She went to the kitchen instead and poured a glass of water. When she returned, she placed it into her hands, her fingers curled around it, so unsteady, so unsure.
Suddenly, the quiet of it all was deafening. Because Elain Archeron wanted to say it. All of it. Every word laced with pain, every flickering, fever-dream fragment of herself. She wanted to say how it happened, how she lost the only key to the cage she swore not to open, the one she built and then shut with fear and resolve, the one that kept her up at night, the one that brought so much pain. More pain.
Thought she buried that softer part of her so deep no one could reach it again.
She’d dared and let it happen. She had dared to think maybe she could be both held and safe, that maybe she could let her guard down without consequence, no more pain, no more pain. No. More. Pain.
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