alexander the great was a weird horse girl
when alexander first saw bucephalus and found out that his dad philip didn’t want to buy the horse because he was unmanageable, he kept saying that it sure would be a shame to give up such an awesome horse
he kept saying this until philip was like well alex do you think you’re so great that you can tame this horse
of course alexander said yes
alexander tamed this Troubled Horse Who Lets No One Else Handle Him by being gentle to him and and turning him away from his shadow
literally like a Horse Girl Movie ™
philip was so amazed by this that he told alex that macedonia was clearly too small of a kingdom for him
in the words of a delightful ode to bucephalus, “fuck you, dad”
bucephalus became alexander’s favorite horse whom he loved without equal and who wouldn’t let anyone else ride him
one time bucephalus got kidnapped by persians and alexander freaked the fuck out
he promised that he would cut down every tree, burn all the crops he found, and kill every living creature until he got his horse back
needless to say, bucephalus was returned along with a plea for mercy
bucephalus then supposedly lived to be about 30 years old which is pretty long for an ancient horse
when he died alexander was so upset that he named a city bucephala after him
that’s right, a city named after his horse
somebody please make a Horse Girl Movie ™ about alex g
