interviewer: ppl claim you’re immortal
Keanu:
He'a growing his beard back to start the cycle all over again.
he absolutely could be charlemagne and paul mounet
That’s all the confirmation we need

roma★

Andulka
hello vonnie
todays bird
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Discoholic 🪩
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we're not kids anymore.
h
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@escapingmymind3
interviewer: ppl claim you’re immortal
Keanu:
He'a growing his beard back to start the cycle all over again.
he absolutely could be charlemagne and paul mounet
That’s all the confirmation we need
i’m no cinnamon tographer but this was gay
my tinder bio
I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.
I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.
I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.
HELLO?
Tumblr ads are better than tumblr posts
*starts chugging pepto bismol to make my meat huge*
Was walking through my mom's house to borrow my dad's drill when I saw my 11yo niece watching me with an odd expression.
"You wanna help me build the catio?"
Her eyes lit up, then she looked disappointed. "But I'm a girl..."
I rolled my eyes. "Do I look like I care?"
That must have been the right response because she jumped up and chattered excitedly as I showed her how to use a tape measure, a drill, etc. We spent all day building and she had a brilliant smile the whole time. After the tenth declaration of this being the best day in her life, I said,
"Gotta love that sweet sweet serotonin!"
She immediately started giggling, "What does that meeeeaan??"
Anyway, she had an amazing time building with me and acted like I had given her a solstice gift when I said she could paint it and that I'd take her to the hardware store to pick out hardware. She's never been to a hardware store before and I love being the weird knowledgeable uncle who has weird pets always keeps fruit and pistachios in the house.
Update: While I was at the store I found a 53 piece around the house tool kit in bright purple, so of course I bought it for her. Her face when I gave it to her was priceless and she actually gasped. She's going to "make all the stuff"
Are we going to talk about the “but I’m a girl.”? Where did she get that? Did someone teach her that? Who is it? I’m ready to kill for that cutie.
She learned it from her dead father
I'm just gonna assume you killed him for his blatant sexism
I was across state lines and in the presence of three witnesses at the time of his death. I have receipts timestamped. My alibi is solid.
to the casual observer it may look like i'm trying to summon a demon but anyone who knows me will realize that i am simply calling my wife
The wife and the demon are the same person
The fact that these replies would mean wildly different thing had they been said on a different platform, such as Facebook, is absolutely hilarious
me before getting to the end of this post
netflix is using a widescreen version of malcom in the middle that was never supposed to air.
s/o to dewey’s stand in
the forgotten dewey
ahdjakak oh my GOD!!
also:
How do you "abuse" free tampons? What does he think tampons are? Has he ever met someone who menstruates?
today I felt like treating myself, so I inserted 4 tampons in my vagina instead of my usual 1
privilege is thinking tampons are a privilege
X-Ray and Anatomical Stained Glass Windows by Wim Delvoye
“Playtime with Mom”
(Source)
Turning 6 and immediately hating barney the dinosaur is a childhood rite of passage so to say the least I'm curious to see how they'll tackle this befuddling multi-million dollar motion picture
are we just. in the fucking twilight zone now
We're always talking about gut-punches on this site but this is a fucking surprise roundhouse in the back of the head.
... What