DFTBA✨

Millennial · Absurdist · Mitigated skeptic · Bleeding heart · Spoonie · Gamer NSFW

[estray-kay]

[imsoofuckingsad]

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[cephalopodvictorious]

modern Snow White where instead of a magic mirror it's just an AI chatbot driving the stepmother insane because it's programmed to agree with her and confirm her fears

[meanbuddhist]

i want freedom i want freedom i want freedom *is granted freedom* noooooo my attachments

[dykeselfcest]

we need to hype up older women's bodies more because I respect actresses' boundaries in not wanting to film scenes with too much nudity etc regardless of their reasons. but I think that if women over 40 weren't told they're past their prime and basically assumed and expected to be insecure about their bodies we could increase the quantity of milf sex on my tv screen by at least 40%

[plumslices]

Your misbehaving boyfriend is not funny to me

[livelovelaugh-777]

[schlarklezyaoi]

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

[schlarklezyaoi]

hastily-made artist’s recreation in the five minutes it took to get to my stop

[smol-fangirl-bean]

[beemovieerotica]

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

[despazito]

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[jane-vampeyre]

tomfoolery at an all time high

[frailbug]

you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[valtsv]

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

[valtsv]

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of

[parakeet]

Young people don’t know when I joined this website a decade and a half ago we used to have to walk to the post button and back and it was uphill both ways

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you