master chief is real

[thedman0310]

1984

[hapalopus]

Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan

[visenyaism]

one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

[visenyaism]

the worst part of this is that they’re on chess dot com instead of getting an education. but the BEST part of this is watching high schoolers develop the weirdest goddamn strategies I’ve ever seen. One of my students invented something he calls the “evil advisor gambit” where he gets a third person to give out constant terrible advice to both teams hoping that his opponent falls for it straight-up or that his opponent thinks HE fell for it and will act accordingly thus worsening their own strategy. he has won every game he has been able to pull off a coordinated evil advisor gambit in. this is chess innovation never before seen in its 700 years on earth

[occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey]

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

[pinene]

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

[occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey]

you are so beautiful in every way

[pinene]

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

[slitherpunk]

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

[luisonte]

Venga pa tu casa

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[just-some-nerd-guy]

I put “no hookups, no communists” in my Tinder profile. I haven’t been getting any matches so there must either be a bunch of sluts around me of a bunch of godless reds.

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

this is literally the funniest post on here

[zaneclodon]

who else remembers thwomp night (estimated july 26, 2013) when everyone was posting mario 64 thwomp sound effect edits

[hiddency]

[txttletale]

every band name can be ranked on the 'is this a thing i would want in my house' scale between the police and the violent femmes

[txttletale]

some bands require nuance however. while it would be wonderful to have a lizard wizard in my house my doors are never open to royalty so i do not want to see king gizzard. similarly i would love to have a few gecs in my home maybe a dozen. but 100 is just too many

[txttletale]

they might be giants? well. i have to say 'no' just in case they are. bc there wouldn't be enough room. maybe this wouldn't have been a problem if they were more clear about their giant status :|

[posts-i-saw-on-reddit]

I saw this post on reddit

[txttletale]

thgis is the most hateful message ive ever received on this website includign the suicide baits

[e-102]

[fakehistory]

[auckie]

i showed this to some friends and they agreed that it looks like freddy is showing sam and carly that somebody forcefully tattooed osama bin laden on his arm, like he just escaped and sam was making a joke, and then he rolls up his sleeve and goes ‘these guys aren’t playing around.’ and sam stands up and goes ‘we can’t just take this sitting down, guys! we need to fight back. we can’t let this go.’ 

[pochowek]

[louises-belcher]

[gunsandfireandshit]

[oneheadtoanother]

They were LITERALLY SETTING UP FOR THE "AM I NOT TURTLEY ENOUGH FOR THE TURTLE CLUB" SCENE AS THE TOWERS FELL. AND THEY KEPT SHOOTING. THAT SCENE WAS SHOT ON 9/11/2001. I'M SHOUTING.

[captain-price-unofficially]

Important to note he was dressed like this

[coughloop]

I have a hot date with a beautiful gas leak seeping up from the basement ina few minutes, just gotta light some candles to set the mood !

[chongoblog]

Man, I spent hours of my life stomping

[chongoblog]

KOOPAS