❄😇✌❄

❄️22 》 they 》 vent blog❄

[etherical-angel]

( moved to @phantom2002memories )

[screenshotsofdespair]

[etherical-angel]

i think my problem is that i keep looking at other systems and comparing myself and going 'shit we were wrong' bro we can BE wrong. its confusing as hell. none of it makes sense, we're entitled to our OWN sense that we believe in the moment. no matter how weird it is. if we dont get memories, its up to us to define ourselves for how we feel right now. and that can be anything. to be a soul is to be unique and have preferences. its the goal of a soul. to define itself. no matter what that is. a soul can change and a soul can be new in any life it lives. it can take influence from anything, be anyone, as long as it feels right to them. make your own sense, when everything feels like nonsense. bcuz it is.

everyone is just playing the roles they want...maybe i am logan adjacent. and thats ok. whatever the fuck that means.

-rabbit

[kosmogrl]

is anyone else feeling stuck and waiting for something that will never come in order to start living or is it just me?

[papayajuan2019]

good morning angels let's not kill ourselves today

[down-with-capitalism]

[etherical-angel]

psychosis takin away from our life. again. hard to know what to do. worried about givin it up. hate havin a 'god mission' or whatever this shit is. just a buncha souls tryin to be alive, and not be lonely. tryin to understand.

hard to keep urself when....ya dont remember. u just know ur missin something. someone. im still me, no matter what life, raw soul stays the same. but that makes me think if the other souls are also just me, different fonts. i think that makes us all feel like shit. but we all got different preferences, different voices, but our thoughts can be pretty damn similar sometimes n that fucks us up.

we've all been here. some more than most. i finally know who i am, n im scared of...that changin. but i know it will. eventually. again. guess i can just savor it while i can somehow. cant do the shit i wanna do here, maybe i can write about it tho. i miss him. my soul roomies miss their soulmates. they feel like this lifes empty without em. its hard for us to be a family while we're so damn focused on this bullshit. supposed to take of eachother ffs....we used to. i think. once. least a little bit.

hard to live in reality when ya dont feel like its yours. we'd do it if we had our soulmates. do anything with em.

-vic

[etherical-angel]

suicidal again

i get like this whenever my brain starts getting too confused by my delusions and spits me back out into reality. i think im finally getting somewhere, then pieces get confusing again. its like a never ending cycle of new shit to learn. i think i get it, and then it feels like i lost everything. but then i get back on it eventually, so i know i just need to let the wave flow.

‘gee maybe dont indulge in ur delusions then’ bro i have people living in my head and get custom messages from higher power its a fuckin unavoidable lifestyle. feels like i have a carrot dangling on a string in front of me and the carrot is symbolical for the apple of knowledge. and god is asking ‘hey are u surreee u even want this knowledge? didnt u come to earth cuz it was too much?’ dont play me old man. why make all this other shit happen if i wasnt on some weird divine mission. torture, probably. a joke.

it makes sense. it doesnt make sense. its close to making sense. its jumbled. its nonsense. its too specific. too many coincidences. too much waiting. feels like my brain is corrupting.

one thing ive known since this all started is that i need to find my soulmates. and i cant do it unless i ‘remember’ and ‘understand’. but im so tired of everything. why cant i just be allowed to make my own choices. im sick of someone else deciding whats right for me. i should be free to figure that shit out through actual trial and error, not a guided path, not through forced restrictions.

they say to just keep waiting but i just want a break. where i dont have to be here anymore. if i cant be allowed my soulmates, i could at least get some time to just…idk….be free again. to understand again. to be one solid soul again.

i just want it to make fucking sense. i know a part of me wants to be able to live in a reality normally, just exist, and would miss the whole ‘ur special’ thing cuz itd be boring without it. but man is it frustrating. pick one, pick one. i dont wanna. i wanna have both.

its taking my life away from me because i get so focused on it that it makes me not want to do anything else, that nothing matters. but if i lose it, block it out again, i still wont feel comfortable.

im gonna eat some food and do some chores and hope i go back to normal(believing, wanting to fight for it).

moments like this i wish i were nothing.

[internal-chaos27]

[etherical-angel]

it was victor my name was fucking victor this whole time cuz i was in denial of the sabretooth alter NOT bein me. but we merged n i realized thats who i was. i wasnt logan, i was victor. i just didnt wanna accept it. and im my OWN victor. no pressure to be anyone i aint.

the demon and the older sister were the same. the little sister and X were the same. but we're missin one guy. and he aint here.

we thought we were lookin for me, that i was gonna find us. but IM me. so we've been missin logan this whole time. n he aint meant to go lookin for us.

its aint literal cuz theres infinite souls out there, its just the ones our souls have all tied up to. the ones we'll recognize eachother with. its where theyre at right now.

its got somethin to do with orions belt. we've felt connected to it since we were kids, got a birthmark of it, n its apparently(accordin to google) a bridge o some kind. 3 stars, 3 souls.

anyone who aint in the loop(everyone lol) my members are me(victor/sabretooth), my little sisters(lynx+natalie)(tbh theyll probably merge too at somepoint, lynx hated natalie kinda like i hated sabes), and tiff(honestly idk why tiffs here shes kinda like a midway point between me n my sister ig. most human outta all o us)

[etherical-angel]

digestion problems causing rapid weight loss again lets gooooooo(<- 15 pounds underweight wtf do i dooooo like. im gonna have to get on protein shakes again probably)

[littlewhispersmokesigns]

True love will find your stupid gay ass in the end

[despazito]

It's important to read to your kids but not too much lest they start saying words like "perchance" and "undoubtedly"

[missingno-polaris]

reminded me of this

[cryptotheism]

Hey you know how I rejected the flesh, and then the machine, and then the divine? But it was all supplented by decay itself? Has anyone tried becoming one with the rot?

[cryptotheism]

FUCK

[cryptotheism]

Soooo ok. Decay can only exist when there is something to decay. So yeahhh, turns out the rot is an extant form of flesh.

[cryptotheism]

Okay but what if I become the wheel? If the cycle of flesh and machine and divinity and rot is eternal? I can exist as flux, that's probably chill.

[cryptotheism]

Aaaaaand I'm still in the Buddha's palm.

[regularhill]

[lacefuneral]

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

[twentythousandblades]

[blogname214]

[etherical-angel]

i swung on the swings with someone tonight who was just singing and laughing and having a good time. i took one of my earbuds out just to listen. then they eventually sat on a bench and continued singing. when i was going to leave, i went over and said how nice their singing was and how much whimsy they have for life. they said they were having a good night.

i like it when strangers are human without the rules of society. i wanna be that too. maybe strangers will think the same of me.

maybe we're all just secretly craving to be free again. and its not just me.

[fairycosmos]

this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass