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@eunoiaaaivy
── 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ;
؛── 𓍯𓂃 trade my whole life just to be, top of the world but i'm still not free
it's such a secret that i keep, until it's gone i can never find peace
section's in the garden: rules| she/her | masterlist | a trip to where? (event)
second account: @eunoiaaamoremio
Now playing: call it what you want.
request: temporarily open. </3
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-‘๑’-
© Astaaaaa.
Dear 2026, Please protect me from fake love, ill intentions, hidden jealousy, energy vampires, and anything sent to drain me.
🖇️ TSUNAMI— TSUKISHIMA K.
00. TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER.
01. CLASHES AND VENOM, IT'S A SIMPLE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM— BUT WHY IS IT THAT YOU KEEP FALLING?
02. CW: BAD ENDING, FLUFF, LOTS OF CONTEMPLATING PARAGRAPH,NOT PROOF READ, GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IDK TOO!
03: A/N: THIS SOUNDED WAY BETTER IN MY HEAD. honestly don't like the mid ending, but im happy that it's finally finisheddd! didn't proof read too hehex
The white, crystal, snow falls beneath your feet, covering enough of your uncertainty. The silent night guides you in your little rendezvous, in which you’d describe as unusual.
🖇️ TSUNAMI— TSUKISHIMA K.
00. TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER.
01. CLASHES AND VENOM, IT'S A SIMPLE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM— BUT WHY IS IT THAT YOU KEEP FALLING?
02. CW: BAD ENDING, FLUFF, LOTS OF CONTEMPLATING PARAGRAPH,NOT PROOF READ, GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IDK TOO!
03: A/N: THIS SOUNDED WAY BETTER IN MY HEAD. honestly don't like the mid ending, but im happy that it's finally finisheddd! didn't proof read too hehex
The white, crystal, snow falls beneath your feet, covering enough of your uncertainty. The silent night guides you in your little rendezvous, in which you’d describe as unusual.
🖇️ AUTUMN— NANAMI K.
00. NANAMI X READER
01. IN A WORLD FULL OF CURSES, AND CHAOS— NANAMI WAS YOUR SOLITUDE AND GROUND. BUT YOU WEREN'T HIS.
02. CW: ANGST, CHARACTER DEATH, UNREQUITED LOVE, POSSIBLE JJK SPOILERS BUT THIS DOES NOT FOLLOW THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE, MISUNDERSTANDING, OOC NANAMI, POTENTIAL GRAMMAR MISTAKES, IDK WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE SOOOO, LMK IF I MISSED ANY.
03. A/N: soooo uhh, hi guys. this has been rotting in my drafts for a long time and uh, i miss nanami. GEGE AKUTAMI COUNT YOUR DAYS. i tried to be angsty too. idk what i actually wrote but eyyy, we're trying to get out of reader slump. couldn't portray my thoughts well, and it's actually annoying.💔
— 04/07/18, JUJUTSU HIGH TOKYO
10:03 AM reads on the phone screen, the quietness of the building testing the chills against the skin. What an abrupt meeting— so abrupt it makes you curious, it’s unusual the higher ups call.
A special grade at that.
It was silent; you could hear the ghost’s footsteps as you trod your feet across the wood creaking floors. The only thing you could do was hope that it wasn’t that bad.
Somehow, there was something even weirder than being called by the higher ups, and maybe, just maybe you’d hope it wasn’t that.
The feeling of a ghost haunting you replays again, and again— those taunting footsteps, and those vivid memories, the laughter, and the—
“Hey, where are you going? We passed the room already.” That boisterous voice breaking the silence of your loud mind startles you for a second, realisation crawling back to you.
“Uh, sorry. Just a little lost,” you replied monotonously, gulping and avoiding eye contact, “let’s go inside.” Cue in Gojo raising his eyebrow from the unusual behaviour, opting not to speak.
He opens the door, and gestures you to go inside first— a sharp breath gets stuck in your throat, as a tall, blonde man, with his back glaring at you, faces the office window outside of the higher ups.
A figure that was oh so familiar, way too familiar.
For a second, you forget to breathe, your world stops and it tips off of its axis, and you can never truly explain what he does to you. Even after all these years, he was so familiar— it was like breathing air, like nostalgia; so known, yet so foreign.
And he stares so casually, so smoothly, as if you guys saw each other yesterday; it makes running fingers against chiselled bones stronger.
“YO Nanamin! Never knew you would be here. How’s your job going? Thought you hated anything jujutsu related things.” Gojo greets Nanami, who in return, grumbles and sighs from Gojo’s voice.
“I still do, especially with the both of you here.” Nanami grumbles back, piercing eyes looking through sharp periphery— and he admits, his breath was caught in a web of butterflies, so beautifully beautiful, yet so cold; he could practically freeze from that blank gaze.
His ribcage hammers, and it’s screaming with how violent it’s getting; for time to delude such endearing masterpieces, it never had the idle to change you from the start, you were too strong willed to be deluded.
Was he still breathing? Or was he dreaming? It’s a rollercoaster game; a never-ending ride to kill this feeling that will always last.
For once, he actually regrets saying his words, and he’s happy to see the both of you. He’s happy to see Gojo, and he’s happy to see you— and his words linger with enough regret in his mind. He wants to bite his tongue until it bleeds, and it feels euphoric so suddenly to see you.
“I see this is an abrupt meeting, please sit down.” Nanami can hear the higher up’s voices, and he can only force himself to peel his head away from your direction. The mere sight was too intoxicating and unreal.
“I thought it was me, Gojo, and someone else? I never heard of [last name] being here.” Nanami outs before he can control his tongue, and that euphoric feeling dies down with every ounce of regret.
All you can hear was a crack— your world tilts off and rolls, and it’s crumbling. You were atleast expecting him to miss you like how you miss him, but atlas, it was always wishful thinking.
You never meant anything to him, nothing more, nothing less. That’s that.
The higher up’s chatter enters one ear, and exits the other; a closed house, with something to enter with, and something more to exit for. It’s there, and the feelings are real; too real to even fathom.
The energy inside depletes, conscience gnawing with the growing ivy of overthinking somewhere in between. The meeting ends before you know it, and on autopilot you make your way out of that room. Decking the hall makes that burden heavier; it’s not easy to breathe, lungs punctured from the hit you took from the words and brain malfunctioning with the information in tow.
You’re not sure whether your heart was beating or was it slowing down, and it was the contrary to your pace; quick, hurried and a clear sign you want to get out of there as soon as possible.
The air colliding against your face has never felt this good, and you pay no mind as you quickly make your way through the parking lot.
The world was not on your side today as a hand grabs you by the shoulder, it is gentle and familiar; it makes you want to keep on walking.
“Are you not aware of your surroundings? What if you suddenly get attacked by a cursed spirit?” The smooth baritone asked, it was flat and you didn’t know whether he saw you as a burden or if he’s concerned.
You stayed silent, and for a while he didn’t follow up with any other questions, which was weird.
Nanami sighs upon seeing you not face him, his ribcage was thrashing around with its peculiar beat, yet he doesn’t know what aches beneath.
His words must have stung; and he knew it did— he knew you too much.
The blonde man wonders whether you’re going to retort or if you’re going to bite your tongue, he’d rather have the first choice than to see you so heartbroken; he can’t bear the look you’d give him.
You’re the only venom he’d be willing to take, even if it kills him instantly— even if it’s painful, and excruciating, and so unearthing, as long as it was you.
Well, that is if he doesn’t poison you first.
“It seems you haven’t changed,” The voice calms down his turmoil, and he doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or elated that he was answered; with enough venom to kill him or with a tone that was so flat or whether it wa— “you’re still so cold and reserved, I guess leaving Jujutsu High did make you a bit rougher to approach.” That tongue said in a way where it kills him instantly; quick and cruel.
That oh-so familiar face turns, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe, and he could feel the venom pumping through his veins. The breeze surely heard him, and maybe it did; you look so beautiful in this light.
And everything cracks— beneath porcelain facades, everything is cracking inside, and it’s a waltz of beating hearts; both equally alive yet dead, stepping on each other’s feet as they cascade around old memories.
— 09/25/18, JUJUTSU GROUNDS.
“I never thought I’d see you guys in one room again!” Shoko mutters out loudly, greeting you with a hug and laughing at the sour expression Nanami wears.
“We’re here for professional business,” Nanami gruffly mutters out behind you, “besides, my personal matters with [name] have nothing to do with you.” The blonde man glares through his sunglasses, a pointed look that Shoko knew all too well— let me handle things I can never speak about.
And Shoko holds both her hands up in defeat, playfully chuckling while sending a look back at Nanami. The tension grows, and Gojo breaks it up with his loud voice.
“They’re still so goofy, Sho! I’m telling you, Nanamin never grew his balls!” The blue eyed sorcerer says, hands sliding along his face dramatically to emphasize.
Shoko chuckles once again, “who knew Nanami was such a coward to things?” said the brown haired beauty in a teasing tone.
Nanami shifts uncomfortably while loosening his neck tie a bit, his throat feels dry and there’s this blazing heat in this mist of uncertainness. “Oh quit it, Sho! Leave Nanami alone.” Your voice shouts from behind him, and maybe it made him more uncomfortable.
His last name slipped out so casually from your tongue, and maybe there’s this burning desire for him to hear his first name— like you used to do; it was always sweet, and buttery smooth.
“Whatever you say gal, just stating some things,” Shoko muttered out in defeat, a deadpan look on her face as she raised her hands up, “besides, I know you would sacrifice your peac— WOAH! Fine, I’m just playing. You know I’ll never spill your secrets.” The doctor chuckled out, dodging your punch sent her way.
She continues to chuckle, while Nanami and Gojo eye the both of you from behind. You were strangling Shoko, as she chuckles defeatedly, and Nanami wonders whether the doctor was this silly with you.
Gojo chuckles from beside him, the blue-eyed male holding a small-fond smile and Nanami couldn’t blame him; Jujutsu sorcery wasn’t a two-way trip where you go inside a train and come outside at your stop.
“What an irony,” the blond haired man thinks— it certainly was, you come inside the halls and come out even bloodier than before.
“So what guys? Are we just going to idle here or are we going to the cafè? I’ll treat you guys, since I’m nice today!” He hears Gojo shout from behind him, “aren’t you always kind, Gojo?” Nanami’s ears reel in your voice, and somehow his heart beats fast, not the good kind.
And everything fades for the rest of the day, just laughter with the once nostalgic image of you.
— 9/29/18, BAKERY BASKING IN AUTUMN.
The cafè bell rings, the door opens, and the blonde gentleman holds the door for you. The small thank you sent him fluttering like pigeons; warm and cozy despite the cold breeze passing by.
Nothing is spoken, no words, no sound, not even a small utterance of truth— just the silence of two people who know each other, or the right term, knew. It’s the white noise of the world, the chitter and chatter, the occasional hum of what used to be.
But it doesn’t matter— it doesn’t as you and Nanami stroll around the autumn–filled park, coffees and pastries dangling on each of your hands, it doesn’t as he ties the shoelaces of your boots, not once complaining about the way you’d accidentally bump into him.
It doesn’t matter because there was no “you and him” in the first place, only you, and only Nanami; nothing more, nothing less.
As you walk further and further away, you both hear a mother cooing her child, a memory you wish to tuck in a corner. Her partner doesn’t even hesitate to help her— she doesn’t even have to ask, have to beg for that love; the love where it smells like cinnamon, laughter, and warm hugs at night.
Why can’t this be given to you? Why?
“You know, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be chosen,” the slow beat, the slow tempo before a dance starts begins, dancers dreading every twist and turn of their bodies, “my mother never chose me, my father never did, the higher ups never did…I have always wanted to know how and why.” The dancers walk to the stage, testing their beautiful smiles.
“I’ve always wondered, why can’t I be like Satoru? I’m a special grade like him, I’m a risk-taker, I have a few charms, I come from a clan, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, although not as loud as him, I’m still…me. Just like Satoru.” They take a little turn, leaping immediately off the ground, their heart momentarily stopping for a second.
“And yet, at the end of the day, I’m not like him. I’ve asked Satoru how it feels to be the chosen one, and he said it feels different all the time. It gets exhausting.” The dancers leap again, a larger one this time, “but is it as dreadful as not?” A big pause in the dance recital happens— no technical difficulties, just a huge pause for a big leap of breath.
“I came to terms that I did not want to be like Satoru; a hero being used, but it was just me. I have always wondered what we could have been if you had chosen me.” The dancers suddenly take swift turns— they're scared they might crack, that they might mess this up.
“You were the answer I was looking for, instead I ended up with even more questions; what would it feel like if Nanami had chosen me? What does it feel like to be chosen by Nanami? What does life feel like with—” the swift motion of spinning cracks, the dancers fall— each one slowly, but surely.
“Why are you so fixated on being chosen by me? We’re jujustu sorcerers for Pete’s sake, [name]!” Nanami cracks, just like how each dancer falls, adrenaline dying down with each breath they take, “I can’t choose you, I can’t afford to choose you. Not like this, not when we’re working in this messed up society!” Nanami explains in an exasperated voice, nostrils flaring up as frustrations collide in his veins, holding the bridge of his nose. Through his cloudy vision of unmasked truth— he can’t see the vision of your eyes tearing up.
“I can’t afford to risk you, knowing I could lose you at any given moment. So I do what I do best; leave. I leave, I changed, you’ve changed. Times have changed, time— time can’t choose us too.” Nanami replies in a tired voice, opening his eyes, only to be shocked by the scene in front of him.
“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean most of it. I just need a moment, please? I have to go.” Nanami says, guilt clouding him as he leaves; again.
Nanami is amazing at many things, you can label them one by one, and the one he’s best at? Leaving— like what he did years ago.
As the dancers cower out the stage, the first fall of snow starts— and it signifies the love you and Nanami have; growing colder as the seasons pass.
Distinct, wistfulness, dancing beneath both of your lives.
Your youth is in his past.
— 10/31/18, SHIBUYA.
The fear settles in as anxious huffs leave each of the sorcerer's lips, the rattling feeling of the unknown chases them; death is on their doors, knocking loudly.
Shibuya was a mess, everything’s scrambled, destroyed, and only little is left of the beautiful city.
It was only the beginning, yet the end was very near— too near them.
It’s such a beguile torment; the agitation, the unknown. Yet, he clings on to your words— words from youth, flowing sweetly in his mind.
“There is always beauty in the unknown, good or bad. The unknown is just there. It’s just like tomorrow, we don’t know whether it’s sweet or bitter, but it’s a gift.” Nanami recalls your words filled with enough reassurance, and it weighs on his mind.
It’s an irony, with who he is as a man, as a sorcerer. He knows that familiar feeling of uncertainty, and the unknown is just right around his corner. Yet, he always liked controlling things, to prove that life can be a ruling state, but fate had other plans.
To the very thought of the unknown, he despises it, with his whole being. Words were heavier rather, and the brief flash back calms him down.
Embrace the unknown, find the beauty.
The unknown was right here, and somehow he ends up with you. Face to face with Mahito. The only beauty he saw right now was you. Despite the pants, the disheveled hair, the calm expression on your face, the sight of you made his heart race. Even if you guys haven't spoken ever since the incident, avoiding each other like the plague.
This is the unknown he was looking for.
The wreckage, the blood, the scent of flesh and screams blaring, screaming, in every inch of Shibuya— it wasn’t the one he wanted.
It was you. Always you.
Mahito attacks, and attacks, over and over again. Before the cursed spirit gets to him, a shadow shows up; too quick, too stealthy, and before he knows it, blood is on the floor.
Not his, but yours.
He could hear the cursed spirit scream, from agony or from mockery he doesn’t know.
You saved him, again, and again.
Yet he couldn’t do the same.
Mahito’s injured, enough to unstabilize him, enough for the final blow— to kill him. He sees Itadori witness the sight, the bleeding, your physique weakening. Your cursed energy standing strong as it still flames Mahito.
With the last of your strength, you pour one final blow on Mahito, making him stumble through various walls where Itadori follows him.
Nanami could hear his heart pounding in his ear, anxiety clamping his stomach, his throat tightening at the sight of you— collapsing slowly with severe internal injuries. You looked a bit disheveled outside but the damage inside is big, dark bruises are forming, blood trailing down your nose.
You were going to be fine, he repeats in his mind as he runs to you.
“This has happened before, she’ll be okay,” Nanami calmy reasurres himself, holding your already tired figure.
“What were you thinking!” He screams, and you’ve never heard Nanami talk this loud. His voice wasn’t muffled but your sight was blurry, as well as the distant future you have with him.
“You only have a few minutes” A voice whispers in your head, taunting and haunted, like how your life had always been. You reach your hands up to his chiseled cheeks, slowly and tremors residing.
“Kento,” you say his name like it was your lifeline, “stop talking, it’s not going to be nice. you’re going to be okay. just stop talking.” Nanami says with finality, rough and frustrated around the edges. He stops you before you even begin.
You chuckle, coughing blood out after as your cursed energy seeps once more in your skin. It’s ironic how his voice is so…aggressive, yet he holds you in his arms as if you were porcelain.
Before you knew it, spots of water droplets fell on your face, your eyes widening. The dam breaks before you could even process the fact Nanami was crying— that he was grieving you.
“Kento, I’m sorry.” You whisper out, lips and body trembling as he presses his forehead on yours. “Don’t say sorry, please. Just stop talking, we’ll get help soon.” Nanami begs, tears streaming down on to your face as you smile a small smile. You let out a small chuckle again, lips curving upwards, peace transcending throughout your body.
“We both know I’m not going to make it. It’s the seal my parents tied me to, Kento.” Words trembling, filling the ache in both of your hearts, and for once— you’re not unhappy, despite the pain surging through every inch of your body.
“I wish you a happy life, please live on.” You say softly, tears falling freely mixed along with blood, his hands were gentle as he wipes your tears, your blood staining his other hand.
“Can you promise me that? That you will live on, for me? Can you promise?” Your body hurts more as you ask that to the man who stayed silent, listening to your dying wishes; you feel him nod, and you couldn’t help but smile at his demeanor, never disrupting you as you speak— and only now do you realize, he did, he does love you. In ways you could ever fathom, just like him.
You smile at the thought again, wide and big, like the agony you’re going to leave him with. Using the last cursed energy you have, your palm on his cheek is activated with black flames; stinging, burning his body, but enough to heal his wounds, and bind his flesh altogether, creating an invisible shield on him.
“Say goodbye, [name]. It’s time to go.” The grim reaper inside you says, laughing hollowly.
Relieving every memory you had with him, your love settles in your bones, body going light as you drag his face closely to yours. Sealing your lips, you made one last memory before you go.
“I love you, my great lost love. This is the end for us.” Your words echoed slowly as your body slumps in his hold, bruises becoming prominent and your heart and lower abdomen tainting into black slowly. The palm on his face falls, and he catches it in his hands, pressing it to his cheeks as he seeks your warmth only for it to be cold.
Nanami sobs silently, tainting the face beneath him as he clinged to you for dear life. Itadori finally comes back, but he pays no mind to the kid.
He had lost you, forever. His greatest love.
Nanami Kento curses your parents, binding you in a slow death, a tango with the grim reaper who was in every corner in your life. They shackled you to misery, sacrificing you to a cursed technique— threading death. Sacrificing you for freedom, for death to knock on your door anytime. Overusing your technique lessens your life span, and you’ve been like Gojo; used as a tool for Jujutsu High.
As the chaos seizes, he realizes your love was akin to that Autumn day; a love that was once warm, turning into something cold and hazy.
Like a great lost love. Warmth seeping out cold.
A/N: HWHSHSHHWSHHE, idk what i even wrote but yeah! luv nanami, WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE ITS ON SITE!
OH MY GYATT ITS 3:21 AM AND I AM SOBBING TO YOUR NANAMI FIC😭 ENOUGH ABOUT CATCHING GEGE YOU BETTER WATCH OUT WHEN I CATCH YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH BRO *CHEFS KISS* THANK YOU, I ATE GOOD !!!
oh my gosh! i never expected that it would make you cry!! im glad you enjoyed it, and i hope your eyes are okay. but i have to hide now....😓
🖇️ AUTUMN— NANAMI K.
00. NANAMI X READER
01. IN A WORLD FULL OF CURSES, AND CHAOS— NANAMI WAS YOUR SOLITUDE AND GROUND. BUT YOU WEREN'T HIS.
02. CW: ANGST, CHARACTER DEATH, UNREQUITED LOVE, POSSIBLE JJK SPOILERS BUT THIS DOES NOT FOLLOW THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE, MISUNDERSTANDING, OOC NANAMI, POTENTIAL GRAMMAR MISTAKES, IDK WHAT I ACTUALLY WROTE SOOOO, LMK IF I MISSED ANY.
03. A/N: soooo uhh, hi guys. this has been rotting in my drafts for a long time and uh, i miss nanami. GEGE AKUTAMI COUNT YOUR DAYS. i tried to be angsty too. idk what i actually wrote but eyyy, we're trying to get out of reader slump. couldn't portray my thoughts well, and it's actually annoying.💔
— 04/07/18, JUJUTSU HIGH TOKYO
10:03 AM reads on the phone screen, the quietness of the building testing the chills against the skin. What an abrupt meeting— so abrupt it makes you curious, it’s unusual the higher ups call.
A special grade at that.
It was silent; you could hear the ghost’s footsteps as you trod your feet across the wood creaking floors. The only thing you could do was hope that it wasn’t that bad.
Somehow, there was something even weirder than being called by the higher ups, and maybe, just maybe you’d hope it wasn’t that.
The feeling of a ghost haunting you replays again, and again— those taunting footsteps, and those vivid memories, the laughter, and the—
“Hey, where are you going? We passed the room already.” That boisterous voice breaking the silence of your loud mind startles you for a second, realisation crawling back to you.
“Uh, sorry. Just a little lost,” you replied monotonously, gulping and avoiding eye contact, “let’s go inside.” Cue in Gojo raising his eyebrow from the unusual behaviour, opting not to speak.
He opens the door, and gestures you to go inside first— a sharp breath gets stuck in your throat, as a tall, blonde man, with his back glaring at you, faces the office window outside of the higher ups.
A figure that was oh so familiar, way too familiar.
For a second, you forget to breathe, your world stops and it tips off of its axis, and you can never truly explain what he does to you. Even after all these years, he was so familiar— it was like breathing air, like nostalgia; so known, yet so foreign.
And he stares so casually, so smoothly, as if you guys saw each other yesterday; it makes running fingers against chiselled bones stronger.
“YO Nanamin! Never knew you would be here. How’s your job going? Thought you hated anything jujutsu related things.” Gojo greets Nanami, who in return, grumbles and sighs from Gojo’s voice.
“I still do, especially with the both of you here.” Nanami grumbles back, piercing eyes looking through sharp periphery— and he admits, his breath was caught in a web of butterflies, so beautifully beautiful, yet so cold; he could practically freeze from that blank gaze.
His ribcage hammers, and it’s screaming with how violent it’s getting; for time to delude such endearing masterpieces, it never had the idle to change you from the start, you were too strong willed to be deluded.
Was he still breathing? Or was he dreaming? It’s a rollercoaster game; a never-ending ride to kill this feeling that will always last.
For once, he actually regrets saying his words, and he’s happy to see the both of you. He’s happy to see Gojo, and he’s happy to see you— and his words linger with enough regret in his mind. He wants to bite his tongue until it bleeds, and it feels euphoric so suddenly to see you.
“I see this is an abrupt meeting, please sit down.” Nanami can hear the higher up’s voices, and he can only force himself to peel his head away from your direction. The mere sight was too intoxicating and unreal.
“I thought it was me, Gojo, and someone else? I never heard of [last name] being here.” Nanami outs before he can control his tongue, and that euphoric feeling dies down with every ounce of regret.
All you can hear was a crack— your world tilts off and rolls, and it’s crumbling. You were atleast expecting him to miss you like how you miss him, but atlas, it was always wishful thinking.
You never meant anything to him, nothing more, nothing less. That’s that.
The higher up’s chatter enters one ear, and exits the other; a closed house, with something to enter with, and something more to exit for. It’s there, and the feelings are real; too real to even fathom.
The energy inside depletes, conscience gnawing with the growing ivy of overthinking somewhere in between. The meeting ends before you know it, and on autopilot you make your way out of that room. Decking the hall makes that burden heavier; it’s not easy to breathe, lungs punctured from the hit you took from the words and brain malfunctioning with the information in tow.
You’re not sure whether your heart was beating or was it slowing down, and it was the contrary to your pace; quick, hurried and a clear sign you want to get out of there as soon as possible.
The air colliding against your face has never felt this good, and you pay no mind as you quickly make your way through the parking lot.
The world was not on your side today as a hand grabs you by the shoulder, it is gentle and familiar; it makes you want to keep on walking.
“Are you not aware of your surroundings? What if you suddenly get attacked by a cursed spirit?” The smooth baritone asked, it was flat and you didn’t know whether he saw you as a burden or if he’s concerned.
You stayed silent, and for a while he didn’t follow up with any other questions, which was weird.
Nanami sighs upon seeing you not face him, his ribcage was thrashing around with its peculiar beat, yet he doesn’t know what aches beneath.
His words must have stung; and he knew it did— he knew you too much.
The blonde man wonders whether you’re going to retort or if you’re going to bite your tongue, he’d rather have the first choice than to see you so heartbroken; he can’t bear the look you’d give him.
You’re the only venom he’d be willing to take, even if it kills him instantly— even if it’s painful, and excruciating, and so unearthing, as long as it was you.
Well, that is if he doesn’t poison you first.
“It seems you haven’t changed,” The voice calms down his turmoil, and he doesn’t know whether to be disappointed or elated that he was answered; with enough venom to kill him or with a tone that was so flat or whether it wa— “you’re still so cold and reserved, I guess leaving Jujutsu High did make you a bit rougher to approach.” That tongue said in a way where it kills him instantly; quick and cruel.
That oh-so familiar face turns, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe, and he could feel the venom pumping through his veins. The breeze surely heard him, and maybe it did; you look so beautiful in this light.
And everything cracks— beneath porcelain facades, everything is cracking inside, and it’s a waltz of beating hearts; both equally alive yet dead, stepping on each other’s feet as they cascade around old memories.
— 09/25/18, JUJUTSU GROUNDS.
“I never thought I’d see you guys in one room again!” Shoko mutters out loudly, greeting you with a hug and laughing at the sour expression Nanami wears.
“We’re here for professional business,” Nanami gruffly mutters out behind you, “besides, my personal matters with [name] have nothing to do with you.” The blonde man glares through his sunglasses, a pointed look that Shoko knew all too well— let me handle things I can never speak about.
And Shoko holds both her hands up in defeat, playfully chuckling while sending a look back at Nanami. The tension grows, and Gojo breaks it up with his loud voice.
“They’re still so goofy, Sho! I’m telling you, Nanamin never grew his balls!” The blue eyed sorcerer says, hands sliding along his face dramatically to emphasize.
Shoko chuckles once again, “who knew Nanami was such a coward to things?” said the brown haired beauty in a teasing tone.
Nanami shifts uncomfortably while loosening his neck tie a bit, his throat feels dry and there’s this blazing heat in this mist of uncertainness. “Oh quit it, Sho! Leave Nanami alone.” Your voice shouts from behind him, and maybe it made him more uncomfortable.
His last name slipped out so casually from your tongue, and maybe there’s this burning desire for him to hear his first name— like you used to do; it was always sweet, and buttery smooth.
“Whatever you say gal, just stating some things,” Shoko muttered out in defeat, a deadpan look on her face as she raised her hands up, “besides, I know you would sacrifice your peac— WOAH! Fine, I’m just playing. You know I’ll never spill your secrets.” The doctor chuckled out, dodging your punch sent her way.
She continues to chuckle, while Nanami and Gojo eye the both of you from behind. You were strangling Shoko, as she chuckles defeatedly, and Nanami wonders whether the doctor was this silly with you.
Gojo chuckles from beside him, the blue-eyed male holding a small-fond smile and Nanami couldn’t blame him; Jujutsu sorcery wasn’t a two-way trip where you go inside a train and come outside at your stop.
“What an irony,” the blond haired man thinks— it certainly was, you come inside the halls and come out even bloodier than before.
“So what guys? Are we just going to idle here or are we going to the cafè? I’ll treat you guys, since I’m nice today!” He hears Gojo shout from behind him, “aren’t you always kind, Gojo?” Nanami’s ears reel in your voice, and somehow his heart beats fast, not the good kind.
And everything fades for the rest of the day, just laughter with the once nostalgic image of you.
— 9/29/18, BAKERY BASKING IN AUTUMN.
The cafè bell rings, the door opens, and the blonde gentleman holds the door for you. The small thank you sent him fluttering like pigeons; warm and cozy despite the cold breeze passing by.
Nothing is spoken, no words, no sound, not even a small utterance of truth— just the silence of two people who know each other, or the right term, knew. It’s the white noise of the world, the chitter and chatter, the occasional hum of what used to be.
But it doesn’t matter— it doesn’t as you and Nanami stroll around the autumn–filled park, coffees and pastries dangling on each of your hands, it doesn’t as he ties the shoelaces of your boots, not once complaining about the way you’d accidentally bump into him.
It doesn’t matter because there was no “you and him” in the first place, only you, and only Nanami; nothing more, nothing less.
As you walk further and further away, you both hear a mother cooing her child, a memory you wish to tuck in a corner. Her partner doesn’t even hesitate to help her— she doesn’t even have to ask, have to beg for that love; the love where it smells like cinnamon, laughter, and warm hugs at night.
Why can’t this be given to you? Why?
“You know, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be chosen,” the slow beat, the slow tempo before a dance starts begins, dancers dreading every twist and turn of their bodies, “my mother never chose me, my father never did, the higher ups never did…I have always wanted to know how and why.” The dancers walk to the stage, testing their beautiful smiles.
“I’ve always wondered, why can’t I be like Satoru? I’m a special grade like him, I’m a risk-taker, I have a few charms, I come from a clan, I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, although not as loud as him, I’m still…me. Just like Satoru.” They take a little turn, leaping immediately off the ground, their heart momentarily stopping for a second.
“And yet, at the end of the day, I’m not like him. I’ve asked Satoru how it feels to be the chosen one, and he said it feels different all the time. It gets exhausting.” The dancers leap again, a larger one this time, “but is it as dreadful as not?” A big pause in the dance recital happens— no technical difficulties, just a huge pause for a big leap of breath.
“I came to terms that I did not want to be like Satoru; a hero being used, but it was just me. I have always wondered what we could have been if you had chosen me.” The dancers suddenly take swift turns— they're scared they might crack, that they might mess this up.
“You were the answer I was looking for, instead I ended up with even more questions; what would it feel like if Nanami had chosen me? What does it feel like to be chosen by Nanami? What does life feel like with—” the swift motion of spinning cracks, the dancers fall— each one slowly, but surely.
“Why are you so fixated on being chosen by me? We’re jujustu sorcerers for Pete’s sake, [name]!” Nanami cracks, just like how each dancer falls, adrenaline dying down with each breath they take, “I can’t choose you, I can’t afford to choose you. Not like this, not when we’re working in this messed up society!” Nanami explains in an exasperated voice, nostrils flaring up as frustrations collide in his veins, holding the bridge of his nose. Through his cloudy vision of unmasked truth— he can’t see the vision of your eyes tearing up.
“I can’t afford to risk you, knowing I could lose you at any given moment. So I do what I do best; leave. I leave, I changed, you’ve changed. Times have changed, time— time can’t choose us too.” Nanami replies in a tired voice, opening his eyes, only to be shocked by the scene in front of him.
“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean most of it. I just need a moment, please? I have to go.” Nanami says, guilt clouding him as he leaves; again.
Nanami is amazing at many things, you can label them one by one, and the one he’s best at? Leaving— like what he did years ago.
As the dancers cower out the stage, the first fall of snow starts— and it signifies the love you and Nanami have; growing colder as the seasons pass.
Distinct, wistfulness, dancing beneath both of your lives.
Your youth is in his past.
— 10/31/18, SHIBUYA.
The fear settles in as anxious huffs leave each of the sorcerer's lips, the rattling feeling of the unknown chases them; death is on their doors, knocking loudly.
Shibuya was a mess, everything’s scrambled, destroyed, and only little is left of the beautiful city.
It was only the beginning, yet the end was very near— too near them.
It’s such a beguile torment; the agitation, the unknown. Yet, he clings on to your words— words from youth, flowing sweetly in his mind.
“There is always beauty in the unknown, good or bad. The unknown is just there. It’s just like tomorrow, we don’t know whether it’s sweet or bitter, but it’s a gift.” Nanami recalls your words filled with enough reassurance, and it weighs on his mind.
It’s an irony, with who he is as a man, as a sorcerer. He knows that familiar feeling of uncertainty, and the unknown is just right around his corner. Yet, he always liked controlling things, to prove that life can be a ruling state, but fate had other plans.
To the very thought of the unknown, he despises it, with his whole being. Words were heavier rather, and the brief flash back calms him down.
Embrace the unknown, find the beauty.
The unknown was right here, and somehow he ends up with you. Face to face with Mahito. The only beauty he saw right now was you. Despite the pants, the disheveled hair, the calm expression on your face, the sight of you made his heart race. Even if you guys haven't spoken ever since the incident, avoiding each other like the plague.
This is the unknown he was looking for.
The wreckage, the blood, the scent of flesh and screams blaring, screaming, in every inch of Shibuya— it wasn’t the one he wanted.
It was you. Always you.
Mahito attacks, and attacks, over and over again. Before the cursed spirit gets to him, a shadow shows up; too quick, too stealthy, and before he knows it, blood is on the floor.
Not his, but yours.
He could hear the cursed spirit scream, from agony or from mockery he doesn’t know.
You saved him, again, and again.
Yet he couldn’t do the same.
Mahito’s injured, enough to unstabilize him, enough for the final blow— to kill him. He sees Itadori witness the sight, the bleeding, your physique weakening. Your cursed energy standing strong as it still flames Mahito.
With the last of your strength, you pour one final blow on Mahito, making him stumble through various walls where Itadori follows him.
Nanami could hear his heart pounding in his ear, anxiety clamping his stomach, his throat tightening at the sight of you— collapsing slowly with severe internal injuries. You looked a bit disheveled outside but the damage inside is big, dark bruises are forming, blood trailing down your nose.
You were going to be fine, he repeats in his mind as he runs to you.
“This has happened before, she’ll be okay,” Nanami calmy reasurres himself, holding your already tired figure.
“What were you thinking!” He screams, and you’ve never heard Nanami talk this loud. His voice wasn’t muffled but your sight was blurry, as well as the distant future you have with him.
“You only have a few minutes” A voice whispers in your head, taunting and haunted, like how your life had always been. You reach your hands up to his chiseled cheeks, slowly and tremors residing.
“Kento,” you say his name like it was your lifeline, “stop talking, it’s not going to be nice. you’re going to be okay. just stop talking.” Nanami says with finality, rough and frustrated around the edges. He stops you before you even begin.
You chuckle, coughing blood out after as your cursed energy seeps once more in your skin. It’s ironic how his voice is so…aggressive, yet he holds you in his arms as if you were porcelain.
Before you knew it, spots of water droplets fell on your face, your eyes widening. The dam breaks before you could even process the fact Nanami was crying— that he was grieving you.
“Kento, I’m sorry.” You whisper out, lips and body trembling as he presses his forehead on yours. “Don’t say sorry, please. Just stop talking, we’ll get help soon.” Nanami begs, tears streaming down on to your face as you smile a small smile. You let out a small chuckle again, lips curving upwards, peace transcending throughout your body.
“We both know I’m not going to make it. It’s the seal my parents tied me to, Kento.” Words trembling, filling the ache in both of your hearts, and for once— you’re not unhappy, despite the pain surging through every inch of your body.
“I wish you a happy life, please live on.” You say softly, tears falling freely mixed along with blood, his hands were gentle as he wipes your tears, your blood staining his other hand.
“Can you promise me that? That you will live on, for me? Can you promise?” Your body hurts more as you ask that to the man who stayed silent, listening to your dying wishes; you feel him nod, and you couldn’t help but smile at his demeanor, never disrupting you as you speak— and only now do you realize, he did, he does love you. In ways you could ever fathom, just like him.
You smile at the thought again, wide and big, like the agony you’re going to leave him with. Using the last cursed energy you have, your palm on his cheek is activated with black flames; stinging, burning his body, but enough to heal his wounds, and bind his flesh altogether, creating an invisible shield on him.
“Say goodbye, [name]. It’s time to go.” The grim reaper inside you says, laughing hollowly.
Relieving every memory you had with him, your love settles in your bones, body going light as you drag his face closely to yours. Sealing your lips, you made one last memory before you go.
“I love you, my great lost love. This is the end for us.” Your words echoed slowly as your body slumps in his hold, bruises becoming prominent and your heart and lower abdomen tainting into black slowly. The palm on his face falls, and he catches it in his hands, pressing it to his cheeks as he seeks your warmth only for it to be cold.
Nanami sobs silently, tainting the face beneath him as he clinged to you for dear life. Itadori finally comes back, but he pays no mind to the kid.
He had lost you, forever. His greatest love.
Nanami Kento curses your parents, binding you in a slow death, a tango with the grim reaper who was in every corner in your life. They shackled you to misery, sacrificing you to a cursed technique— threading death. Sacrificing you for freedom, for death to knock on your door anytime. Overusing your technique lessens your life span, and you’ve been like Gojo; used as a tool for Jujutsu High.
As the chaos seizes, he realizes your love was akin to that Autumn day; a love that was once warm, turning into something cold and hazy.
Like a great lost love. Warmth seeping out cold.
A/N: HWHSHSHHWSHHE, idk what i even wrote but yeah! luv nanami, WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE ITS ON SIGHT!
it’s who you miss when you’re in a room full of people not when it’s 3am and you’re all alone
- Echoes, The Murmurs of Lost Souls
Someone said “Inside every person you know, there’s a person you do not know” and it’s one of the realest quotes I’ve heard.
i am in naruto’s world…
…i am blessed to exist
I earnestly seek your support for my family in Gaza. This fundraiser stands as our beacon of hope, our lifeline amidst the depths of despair. With profound sorrow, I implore your generosity as we endure this unimaginable ordeal. Your contribution can mean the difference between survival and oblivion for my family, and for this, we are eternally grateful. Please, help us to rebuild our life and pursue my PhD study as as there is no guarantee of safety here. kindly read my story, donate if you can, share if you could not.
PLEASE HELP!
God is on my side, I have to keep going.
GET READY GEGE AKUTAMI. IM COMING FOR YOU.
the parallel of getou saying gojou was his best friend, his one and only in past tense and gojou saying the same thing about getou but in present tense. in getou’s deathbed he says he didn’t imagine gojou still having any trust on him after all they went through and then in gojou’s death we see that all gojou ever wanted was to have getou by his side. getou thought everything was lost between them, that it was hopeless and still, gojou kept hoping.
this smells like right where you left me, hmmmm. 😞
Cathy Park Hong, from "Spring and All"
