On being praised for intelligence
Hi folks,
sorry for delay in posting up to the few that actually read this hope your all doing well. This time I felt like Id talk about something that's been on my mind for a while now, bear with me it might be a long winded post.
I've found that, for the most part people are praised into one of three values society holds; beauty, strength, and intelligence. for myself it was the latter I was most praised for throughout my life but sadly the one I'm most dislike for being praised for now because of how tainted it has become. In my early childhood, though true now, no one, not a damn soul, would ever praise me for my strength so any form of flattery given in that regard was instantly disregarded as untrue. Beauty a little bit more complex as in my youth I spent most of my late adolescence hating my body, however in reflection maybe some people really saw the beauty of it, maybe not who knows. Now I have found renewed confidence as I am trying to get my body to a stage where I may love it most. The latter though, the intelligence. thats a bit of a journey. So as a child I was praised as very learned, I actively sought out information and consumed it at a nonstop pace. Was often praised for my knowledge and my ability to comprehend complex issues. However as I left my childhood behind and grade school behind I noticed a shift in this praise, I was still considered an intelligent and gifted person, in so far as I agreed with your politic, the moment I dared to disagree with most people, I was instantly down cast I cannot tell you how many times ive heard “I cant believe you feel that way (Eva) I used to think you were so intelligent.” so that praise and that pomp I believed so much in, was revealed to be completely circumstantial, I was smart as long as I parroted their talking points and reinforced their echo chamber, but I dare challenge their idea I am now something even less than human. It really became so very disheartening and tiring to hear. I mean I guess I know Im intelligent, but its truly tragic to see that so manys peoples ability to measure intelligence rests solely on how much you agree with them over issues. All this does is cause disengagement in issues and removes agency from a persons views or beliefs. Its sad but ive seen people wince at the expression on my face when people praise my brainpower, usually mistaken as myself being some egotistical madwoman, it is simply a black pilled lack of belief in any form of praise. The cost has become to high for me to bare, and I wont pay it anymore.
On a secondary note, was talking with the boyfriend today. I was cherishing the gifts he gave me and as I was typing out my thank you it had dawned on me, it really does feel like, from my own observation he has been one of only a very few people that I have welcomed into my headspace and he has handled the furniture with absolute care and has not sought to redecorate or redesign my headspace, For that I am truly grateful!!
