“ur so chill” thanks i’m completely disconnected from reality right now
h
One Nice Bug Per Day
sheepfilms
KIROKAZE
$LAYYYTER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
wallacepolsom

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d e v o n
Sade Olutola
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Kiana Khansmith

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Not today Justin
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oozey mess
Today's Document
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@evermorepoet1903
“ur so chill” thanks i’m completely disconnected from reality right now
“…𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔶 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔦𝔯…”
-Wallace Stevens, “Sunday Morning”
G...is Hannah a virgin?
OFF CAMPUS 1.04 "The Breakup"
I need some pizzaaaa
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
unscripted, the podcast that talks about everything sex, is the bane of wooyoung’s existence. he hates her snarky voice, her tips that he can guarantee are baseless, he hates that all of his friends are jumping on the fucking bandwagon when wooyoung can give them the same goddamn advice from experience. never in a million years would he guess that the person behind the voice, the girl in a sexless, boring, long-term relationship, is you.
🎤︎︎ ONE — UNSCRIPTED, AS ALWAYS
🎤︎︎ TWO — VIRGIN
🎤︎︎ THREE — BEOMGYU
🎤︎︎ FOUR — JUST A FAVOR
🎤︎︎ FIVE — NOT ANYMORE
︎︎🎤︎︎ SIX — TWO KINDS OF REBOUNDS
more to come 😋 | masterlist
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.
જ⁀➴ all this time
joe keery x fem!reader
a part of my childhood best friends au!
cw: suggestive content, not proofread
almost 2 decades and a billion break ups later, you indulged in a bit of… songwriting.
late nights at studio’s became a common reoccurrence for you. usually, you’d be with joe.
this time, you were with someone short n sweet.
you and sabrina had been friends for a couple of months and you were so endlessly grateful for her. having moved around quite a lot, you didn’t really have a fixed group of friends.
you never really minded because you had joe. once you befriended sabrina you forgot just how amazing it was to have a girl friend.
sure, you giggle and fangirl with joe, but he’s absolutely nothing like sabrina. she makes jokes and comments that throw you off and give you no choice but to double over in laughter.
you two were talking about your teenage days, her with her disney career, and you with… well, joe.
“i’m honestly not surprised you two have been in a 20 year situationship.”
“that is not what that was!” you denied immediately. “we just appreciated each other a lot and we didn’t know how to show it correctly.”
“appreciated.” she snorted. “sure.”
“brina!”
“okay, okay!” she giggled. “i’ll leave it be. just— tell me how you two were. i mean, joe’s a total romantic, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the same as a 15 year old.”
“he was so cute and awkward.” you smile at the memory. “you know when you’re so smitten for someone you just wanna make them fall in love with you?”
“and you’re completely sure you aren’t balls deep in love with him?”
“do you wanna hear about it or no?”
sabrina huffed and laid back down on the couch. “yes.”
you told her about how he asked you out, your first date, how he showed up when you didn’t expect him to, and how he was always a friend first, boyfriend second.
there was one memory of you two you had tucked away in the deepest pits of your heart. it was of the day you realized you truly didn’t see a future without joe. the day you fell so hopelessly in love.
“there was this one time…” you trailed off, your smile only growing wider as you recall the memory. “remember when juno came out?”
“no.”
“oh.” you blinked.
she was 8 when it came out.
“god, i forget how young you are.” you huff sarcastically. “well, we watched it a couple weeks after it came out because he just wouldn’t budge! i ended up convincing him towards the start of 2008 and the idea of two me’s running around was very… prevalent?”
“oh my god, what then?” sabrina crossed her legs and leaned in, as if you were at a summer camp telling ghost stories.
you told her about how he said one of you is cute enough and how that made you melt internally, you told her how for a week straight he would walk around with a jacket bunched up under his shirt walking around yelling “you made me juno!”
sabrina slammed back down against the couch, “you two are just so… you need a romcom based off of you guys.”
you rolled your eyes. “how about a song?”
her eyes lit up and all previous attempts at trying to convince you to spill your undying love for joe went straight out the window.
you got the song done in a couple of days, sabrina purchasing a juno cake to celebrate. one that you had to hide from joe.
when the short n sweet tour came around, your feelings for joe bubbled up once more.
sabrina had told you her plan a week in advance. joe would be arrested for juno, but not by her. you would dress up as a backup dancer and pop up and arrest him instead.
you felt like two girls in middle school thinking of ways to get their crushes to look at them during lunch break.
“oh my goodness, who’s that!” sabrina gasped up on stage, sirens blaring to fit the whole arresting vibe.
joe’s jaw dropped in fake surprise, pointing at himself and looking around as if to say ‘who, me?’
“woah! do you see?” she turned to look at the two backup dancers standing next to her. they nodded and fanned their face.
“what’s your name?” sabrina asked, walking towards the edge of the stage to get closer to him.
joe cupped his mouth and yelled, “joe!”
“joe?” she repeated, earning a nod from him.
“where are you from, joe?” she tilted her head.
“boston!” he yelled.
“well, isn’t that crazy! my best friend is from boston! do you know her?” she put a hand on her hip and tilted her head.
joe’s eyes flickered, uncertain. “i might?” he shrugged, still completely unaware. the crowd, however, had already caught on to what sabrina was putting down and they were screaming frantically.
“no, i think you do.” she hummed. “i think you know her really well.”
a small smirk made its way on to joe’s face as he realized who sabrina was talking about.
“joe from boston!” you gasped, running over to stand next to sabrina.
you had just emerged from backstage, but the journey across the stage felt like an eternity. for one, you were wearing a dress matching sabrina’s, just in baby pink instead of lavender.
it was just barely long enough to cover the curve of your ass, but there was a little short slit on the side. it was sparkly, to say the least. it was incredibly tight, only the neckline was loose as to drape down to your midsection to reveal a matching bra.
your hair was curled to match sabrina’s whole 60s theme.
it was the least you’ve worn ever, and the millions of eyes on you didn’t ease your nerves. however, when your eyes locked with those familiar, warm brown eyes—who were looking at you as if you personally hung the moon and stars—you felt the buzzing from the crowd fade away.
“what a coincidence!” you huff, looking back at sabrina who was giving you a sly smirk that was definitely not a part of the act.
“you know, joe, we have this thing down in austin—we call it cuffing season-” the words barely left your mouth before his held his wrists up to you.
there was a glint in his eyes you last saw back in your teenage years.
“always up to try new things, huh, joe?” you hadn’t even realized the double innuendo until it left your mouth. it was far too late to take it back, and you weren’t dumb enough to react publically, so you just giggled as if it were a part of the show.
his eyes melted once he heard the symphony coming from your lips.
he nodded and shouted, “anything for you, y/n from boston!”
the sound that came from the crowd was ungodly.
you laughed and knelt down to hand him the pink handcuffs one of the backup dancers handed to you.
he took them eagerly.
that was supposed to be it.
you were supposed to walk off stage and hide from joe for the rest of your life.
but you never followed a plan, did you?
“i would make you juno, joe, but one of you is cute enough.” you sighed, hoping he remembered that night just as clearly as you did.
his eyes quite literally lit up. “two, though?” he quoted you.
your face went red and you stood up, hands on your hips. “buh-bye, now, joe. hope to see you around boston soon. say hi to your momma for me, kay?”
he blew you a kiss and waved you goodbye as you strutted off the stage.
the second you were successfully off the spotlight you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. your hand rested above your heart. what the fuck.
some crew member handed you an ice cold water bottle that you gratefully took and chugged down.
the bottle crinkled in your hands as it succumbed to pressure.
a finger tapped your shoulder and you turned around with furrowed brows. you nearly spit your water out upon seeing joe stand right in front of you.
“you wrote a song about it? thought that was supposed to be my thing.” he asked, a teasing smirk on his face.
your eyes went wide as you choked, patting your chest harshly as if to get the water back in the right tube.
“easy, y/n from boston.” he patted your back.
“you are so insufferable, you know that?” you blinked, wiping away the water that had dribbled down your chin in your coughing fit.
“i was told i make people wanna make me fall in love, but insufferable works too.” he shrugged, digging his hands deep into his pockets, something you’ve grown to learn he only does when he’s nervous.
“y’know, i didn’t think you’d remember.” you said quietly, eyes darting everywhere. you just couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.
“how could i not when i spent all this time loving you?”
you blinked and quite literally turned around to look for some cameras. were you being punked? was this a sick joke? oh no, were you dreaming?
he pinched your arm and you let out a hiss, instantly rubbing your skin.
“not dreaming.” he smiled.
“all this time?” you repeated.
“all this time.” he confirmed with a nod. he sealed his lips into a thin line.
“why didn’t you say anything!” you huffed, pushing his chest back slightly.
“i didn’t know if you felt the same!” he defended, eyebrows raised in shock at your reaction.
“why wouldn’t i?!”
“because you’re always like ‘oh joe we were so confused!’ ‘isn’t it so funny how we dated even though we aren’t even like romantically attracted to each other?’ ‘i can’t even believe we were on and off for so long!’-”
he was going on and on and you were realizing that this entire time you were just desperately trying to convince yourself there was nothing between you two.
he was still rambling when you decided to cut him off by pressing your lips to his.
he froze at first, and then he melted in to the kiss just like he had decades ago. your fingers curled into the front of his shirt, not knowing just how much you missed his lips.
he let out a sound that danced around desperation and pleasure, and you took that as an opportunity to slide your tongue in.
even though your eyes were completely closed, you could feel the furrow in between his eyebrows he sported whenever he was making out with someone.
he pulled away to catch his breath. “i can’t believe,” he panted. “i waited this long.”
“i technically did everything-” you countered, but you couldn’t even get your point across because his lips were already on yours again.
the show was coming to an end, meaning more personnel were walking around your once secluded area backstage.
you tugged him towards your dressing room. “joe from boston, you’re gonna show me what a good time is.”
“yes, ma’am.” he blurted, trudging behind you, face so unbelievably red.
“don’t call me that.”
you owe sabrina big time.
when the author starts describing some fuck ass outfit that i’m supposedly wearing
tower fics are so back baby
The best bed
@testostergnome
Aaawwweeee!!!! 🥺🥰
real