All The Things I Left Behind.

When I was a kid my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him I wasn't sure but whatever it was it would be in the arts. I was scolded. I learned what a 'starving artist' was. Dad reacted out of fear for my future. We didn't have much then. We moved a lot. Many cars have been abandoned on the side of various highways, their trunks packed full of 'unnecessary' things. Like report cards. Or porcelain dolls. Or photographs. Or art. Don't worry Dad, starving isn't the worst thing we can experience. This is for the kid I never got to be. All her starving art.

[evertheevergreen]

Experiments in Haiku, pt. 5

lessons to learn now

And more lessons to come soon

I have surrendered

--

I don’t need the marks

knowledge is it’s own reward

And none shall scold

--

happiness is now

Freedom is a heavy gift

I carry with pride

--

Honor is the goal

I was meant to be a knight

The pen is my sword

[evertheevergreen]

Experiments in Haiku, pt. 4

Four years spent spinning

My mind splintered, like a quartz

Crystallized madness

--

Ego consumes me

And rots me from the inside

like poison armor

--

All the garden dies

And I hide behind it’s weed

Like a wounded troll

--

“I am the master!”

I cry. It sounds like a lie

I fear the thunder

--

I thought I was safe

An Arctic fox in a tree

A bird lands. A god

--

Dionysus says

Hold on tight, my young student

Madness strips me bare

--

And there I lay dead

Shaking and cold, I reach out

“Teach me.” I begged him

--

“I am a monster”

I cried, laid out at his feet.

“No” says He “Just half.”

[evertheevergreen]

Experiments in Haiku, pt. 3

Labradorite secrets

In the dark I find my sight

Here, voices call me

--

Spirit I summit

And lay my soul in your hands

Teach me your wisdom 

--

Coast to coast I go

Searching. For what, I know not

My womb is the guide

--

Books become my friends

Marks are mine alone to judge

In solitude, peace 

--

Yet time marches on

I am aware of the flow

As it races by

--

The leaves change color

Scar tissue begins to ache

Echos haunt my dreams

[evertheevergreen]

Experiments in Haiku, pt. 2

Sixteen was not sweet

His breath smelled of beer and smoke

Mother turned from me

--

I run in my socks

Frantically I run away

My clothes soaked in beer

--

Years ago it was

Edens gates were closed to me

I trudge the wasteland

--

Mistakes of my youth

I meander through my life

A leaf in the wind

--

Brown to green and back 

The highways blur into one

Endless wandering

[evertheevergreen]

Experiments in Haiku, pt 1

The coffee’s strong buzz

like pixies bounding through trees

My mind hums and sings

--

The teacher scorns them

Someone other that ‘that one’

Resentful eyes glare

--

My hand sinks down slow

The flush of my cheeks is felt

I cast my eyes down

--

Good marks are the goal

For them I receive no prize

Only empty praise

--

A ferret, he said

A car, money, or freedom

Deals made with half hearts

[evertheevergreen]

The Insecurity of Equivocation -or- My Mind Plays Tricks on Me When You Leave Me in the Dark

12/12/20

I don’t want to feel

The way you make me feel

The way you make me 

spill 

My heart

My secrets

My purse

all over you couch

My floor

Your bed

Where we..

Memories 

Sympathy

for the devil

You devil

Speak of the Devil

Swallow Stinging Nettle

rusted metal

and you..

Make me taller

Make me smaller

Make me holler

when we..

Then I scream

clutching my pillow

Weeping Willow

Drowning in the silo

In the harvest

of grains

of pieces

of me..

Broken up and shredded 

Like morning breakfast

Floating

Bumping

Dancing

Devoured

My power

in you hands

Your bed

where we..

And I swear I had better

things to say about you

and your sweater

wrapping me

as I scribble lines

and remember the pines

you eyes

your sighs

 But I lost track of time

Too busy braiding your hair

Studying your stare

Doing my best to care

for you..

[evertheevergreen]

If you’re going to hurt my feelings, you could stand to do it the honorable way. -or- The Great Performance.

12/12/20

I swear.. 

we were just having fun

What happened?

Turn around and

sit down then

look at me

Tell me the truth

..was this all play pretend to you?

You got your 

blocking all wrong

I can’t see 

your expression

your decision

from these seats

Turn around. Look at me.

It’s only performance when 

you don’t believe

When it comes from the heart 

-it becomes poetry

But I guess that the difference 

between you and me

You play pretend 

But I have the courage to live the fantasy

[evertheevergreen]

Spider, My Love.

7/9/20

We took a risk 

& got married in Tokyo

We fought the beast 

That was consuming Soho

We went sailing in Switzerland

& bought a couple Pogo

Sticks

We raced to the top of a mountain.

We collapsed laughing

& tumbled down again

She bought me a dozen roses 

But I pricked my finger on a thorn

She said she’d stay by my side

But I lost her in the swarm

That’s the downside to downtown

 Lost in the smog, you forget

You’re living above ground

She held me close & pleaded

I not make a sound

But it found us anyway

That thundering ground

Outside our door was the

Pound

Pound

Pounding of that hungry Earthquake

The world opened up

& swallowed us whole

Little Debbie Cakes

We crumbled under the weight

So, we decided to end things....

On a handshake

& she swore she’d never count this 

As a mistake

She turned to me 

With a voice like the wind over the East Sea

Her loose curls

Like the waves that carried me

Her tears were the anvil

That crushed poor Giles Corey

& begged of me:

“Tell yourself before you go,

It wasn’t a waste to get married

In Tokyo.”

[evertheevergreen]

Venus in Aries

Dec 14 16

Come,

Look at the moon with me.

Look how full.

See how she glows.

But give it time,

When you look again there will be nothing.

Nothing but black.

I’ll love you,

By the light of the full moon.

[evertheevergreen]

The Price of Immortality

Dec 13 16

I’ll give you a diamond

And tell you I love you.

Then I’ll take it back,

Give you a candle instead

            -Say-

Burn this for me my love,

Miss me today

And remember me forever.

Baby, burn the wick down.

[evertheevergreen]

Saturn Return

date/un/known

I listened as the seconds ticked by,  

That soldier called Time, 

That clock marched on. 

I felt the world spinning, 

I felt it fall. 

I watched as the clouds drifted by, 

I slipped back. 

I fell through the sky.

But, 

That ticking, 

That pounding.

The heartbeat of life marched on.

I listened as Time thundered by.

I felt the wind on my face. 

I saw sunspots in my eyes.

The storm seemed over,

I thought I’d survived.

I felt the cold shadow of Death 

Crawling up my spine.

I spun around but, 

Could not meet her eyes.

I heard a whisper, 

In a voice like a child’s.

“Failure.”

"Fraud.”

“Liar in disguise.”

I watched as the seconds marched by.

[evertheevergreen]

The Court & Jester

date/un/known

Reply, said the rabbit

Do you believe in your own luck?

Declare, said the raven

Can you manifest your own magic?

React, said the wolf

Can you summon your own power?

Reflect, said the owl

Can you trust your own wisdom?

But sirs, cried man

I haven't any proof..

[evertheevergreen]

Mansplaining

Mar 17 17

Your foolish words,

My love,

Do not cut like

Knives.

They are instead

Pinpricks, 

In my heels,

My palms,

Which sweat

When you speak,

Raising my pulse.

And I see red,

And your bruises.

In my head

You fall down, 

Baby,

Fall far down.

Only you love

Find anger in me 

So easily,

With just

Your foolish words.

[evertheevergreen]

Two For Mirth

Dec 26 16

The closer I get 

The more defined your dimensions

I can see all your aspects

Your height

Your depth

Your length

The closer I get the clearer you details

I can see all your shades

Your crimson

Your gold

Your deep blue

All shrouded in black

How lovely you are 

A fallen autumn leaf

As strong as the tall oak from which you fell. 

As gentle as the breeze that carried it down.

Cover me your shadow 

I stand against your sturdy

Rest my head on your branches

I sleep in your sway

Sway

The winds grow stronger

We sway

The rain beats down 

We sway

In my eyes lightning

In your voice thunder

We sway

You are the hurricane I've hoped for

You are the storm to my surrender

Rip up my shores

Tear through my lands 

I welcome your crazy

Your calm

I’ll dance in view of these eyes 

These quiet nights

And embrace the return of your chaos

Let the sunset that follows

Be the smile I am left with

The warmth in my spirit

Renewed by your madness 

For here I am equal

Shown only in the glow of the full moon’s light

Your ocean, serene and seething

My earth, sacred and scared

This is the nature of our ways

This is our naked truth

Our love in literature

Our honesty in art

This is the song of the shared soul