Everday BPD

Trying to understand my own brain and illness. //// IG: ol_jerkeybag

[everydaybpd]

I’m tired of explaining why I’m sad. I just am.

[everydaybpd]

When you accidentally take a Timelapse. Avoiding all of my responsibilities.

[everydaybpd]

Thoughts on Fostering

There is so much going on with Roe V Wade and all in the world right now and it has me coming back to a thought I’ve had before which is my desire to foster. Once I’m done with school and get a job I’m strongly considering it as I ready never want to have children but would like to have a kid in my home to help and love when I can. Is this just absolutely insane to think about?

View On WordPress

[everydaybpd]

The one thing that made me even a little bit rebellious was drinking. I know it’s legal but it shouldn’t have been the way that I did it and it was legal at the age that I began. I spent my whole life being such a perfect little goody two shoes that everyone kind of hated. Or at least it felt that way. Drinking gave me that rebellious edge I needed to fit in a little more.

Now that im not drinking anymore im back to being as I’ve been called a self righteous nark.

[everydaybpd]

I get so upset when things don’t go as planned.

[everydaybpd]

I was thinking last night if I ever got pregnant would I want to keep the sex a surprise. I always thought that was dumb but then I thought well yeah I would wanna be surprised. Just buy everything gender neutral or buy what your thought was cute. But then that got me thinking, why not just keep that mentality going after the baby was born?

Buy them options for clothes and toys and let them decide the course of their own life. One way or another kids have been stuck in a box whether it be gender roles or identifying within their own gender. Making choices from day 1 might make it easier to just make choices and changes instead of feeling like they are breaking the rules.

I don’t know. Just pillow thoughts.

[everydaybpd]

I drove to work for the first time today. I’m 30. I got my license 6 months ago and shortly after I got my first car. And today I worked up the courage to drive myself to my new job downtown.

[everydaybpd]

I don’t know how people just have this confidence about them

[everydaybpd]

78 Days

Life is really testing me at the moment. I’m not sure what I can and cannot say. I was working and feeling great living my new sober life. I was really trying and feeling present with new goals and ambitions. Then life threw me a curveball. I really big curveball. Now I find myself checking my bank account over and over and over. Do I have enough money to get to work? Do I have enough money to…

View On WordPress

[everydaybpd]

I feel like I haven’t had close friends for so long but I feel like I also haven’t wanted them. I have thought I have wanted them but in the end when I’m given a chance I end up spending time alone. I truly do love being alone. Is this odd or does anyone feel the same?

[everydaybpd]

50 days sober 🥰

[everydaybpd]

48 Days Sober

I turned 30 this week and I had a sober birthday party with my friends. I'm so grateful for the days I'm living right now.

I officially turned 30 years old on Thursday. I was a little nervous about my birthday celebrations only because my boyfriend and I always plan each other’s birthdays for each other. We keep everything a surprise and it’s pretty amazing although we do tend to go over the top. This year I’m sober so I wasn’t quite sure what he was going to plan as all of our friends drink and we are still…

View On WordPress

[everydaybpd]

I drank an NA beer when I went out to drinks with my boyfriend and I felt guilty just cause it tasted like beer. It had .5% alcohol and I figured that would be fine cause I have to taste beer and some cocktails when I’m at work but for some reason this NA beer made me feel guilty.

I feel like I will stick to soda water or 0.0% beers for now. 

I’ve come a long way from drinking my weight in Jamison every night. 

[everydaybpd]

39 Days Sober

I have felt a true change in my thinking and place in my own skin this time getting sober. I have taken breaks from drinking and thought I would be done but never really took a serious approach or had a plan to change aside from not drinking. Going to AA has helped. I don’t push myself into the program like they encourage but I’m taking my time and doing it my way. Right now I’m going to one…

View On WordPress

[bluebandit-deactivated20220607]

I be like idc then talk to myself about it for hours

[inqilabi]

Um this woman is living the dream

[ladytharen]

#god i wish that were me

[everydaybpd]

14 Days of Sobriety

14 Days of Sobriety

I’ve been sober for 14 days. Two weeks today with no alcohol. I am taking sobriety seriously this time around. I have gone to a couple AA meetings. Not as many as I should be going to but with work and just jumping in it is kind of scary so I’m taking it slow. I know you’re supposed to dive in to the program but I just simply can’t. I go to a meeting every Sunday night and I would’ve gone on…

View On WordPress