Who in f1 would survive Jurassic Park?
Ok hear me out here:
Kimi: survives because he wasn't there. Heard about going to an island with dinosaurs and decided it was stupid. (He's right).
Lewis: survives if the dinosaurs vibe check him because Big recognizes Big. Probably dies if they don't.
Max: when faced with dinosaurs roaring in his face simply said "no." and walked away.
Lando: either dies a violent death within the first seconds (non-dinosaur related) and blames chat for it or befriends the dinosaurs and vibes with them.
Alex: has great Mother Instincts™ and either survives because of this or dies while saving others. Probably survives because even the dinosaurs agree he deserves a break.
George: survives because he is very strategic and smart. Also prepared a Powerpoint as to why the dinosaurs should let him live and honestly? It was very convincing.
Daniel: survives. He's Australian and are we even sure there's no dinosaurs there?
Charles: dies. Somehow immediately loses the entire group and should not be left unsupervised. Speaks a lot of languages but dino is not one of them. His best defense was trying to flirt his way out of being eaten. (Might only survive if Max stumbles upon him and wordlessly grabs him by the colar and drags him out of there. Only he is allowed to kill his rival, thank you very much).
Pierre: was about to die but then unleashed his Brazil 2019 roar™ and now no dinosaur will set foot within a forty mile ratio of him.
Seb: stumbled upon the T-Rex ready to shred him to pieces and went "you know what? This might as well happen." which had the dinosaurs kneeling in concern asking him if he's okay. Seb said no and the other drivers find him in a support group-circle a few hours later talking about how life (aka Ferrari) is screwing him over while the dinosaurs console him.
Esteban: challenged the dinosaurs saying "wanna see some real speed bitch?" Because he has long legs and you only have to be faster than the people behind you. Probably still dies because another driver kills him.
Kevin: has a lot of rage that kept him alive for a while but eventually dies.
Romain: convinced the dinosaurs to let him live by cooking for them but he's still in trouble™ because now he's held hostage.
Lance: dies. I love him but he has no survival skills whatsoever. Tried to bribe the dinosaurs with money.
Valtteri: dies. It's hard to bike in the jungle and he's not really used to having to make his own decisions.
Sergio: probably the one that killed Esteban. Dies just as he's about to escape.
Carlos: dies 100%. Dared the dinosaurs to kill him. They did.
Antonio: foolishly ignored Kimi's advice to not go and will die because he can't even escape people trying to cut his hair. Might only survive if Kimi finds out because not even the dinosaurs want Kimi's wrath upon them for killing his Son.
Daniil: dies. Walked right into a group of dinosaurs. Didn't even care.
Nicholas: dies. Is too Canadian and nice to hurt other creatures. Would've survived if he'd used the powerpoint George had prepared for him but it contained shirtless pics so he didn't.
(Hulk: did what Charles couldn't. Survived by saying "nooo, don't kill me, you're too sexy, aha👅")
