insertAwesomeBlogName

fandom existential crisis and being too emotional about fiction and platonic relationships

[riverlarking]

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

anyway I was having this very vivid and unaccountably funny dream about what I suppose you would call a heist crew, except their MO was less about stealing and more about breaking into rich shitheads' houses to throw absolute ragers and trash the place and then disappear into the night. it was all very sleek and admittedly even sexy but the main thing I remember about this dream is that the leader of the group, who's exactly the kind of smooth young hotshot you think he is, was always in the process of getting spectacularly dumped at these parties. always a different woman. months of planning and stress and then when he should be in his element kicking back, accepting congratulations on all sides, man of the hour, he's getting dumped. again. and his whole crew is watching with a very low amount of sympathy because they love the guy but ooooh they know better than anyone that he deserves this. what the fuck was my subconscious cooking with this.

[sackboys-moved]

Love not having a ”””fandom””” specific blog. Something new will just consume my mind and everyone has to accept it. My house

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’M LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHO I AM.

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[noodlesoup1819]

project hail mary is really such a hopeful tragedy isn't it?

[ring2002]

sexually repressed people be like “i have an ancient evil stirring within me. no one can know” and its literally just craving intimacy

[literaryera]

I keep hearing John Green say he's retired from working and lemme just say John Green is the least retired retired person I've ever seen.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

I am retired!!! I retired in October of 2017 and have kept my promise not to exchange my labor for money.

Since 2017, I have only done stuff that I thought was interesting or useful regardless of whether it pays, because we have more than enough money, and despite what billionaires might tell you, there is literally no difference between "more than enough" and "much more than enough."

So I no longer work for money. But in retirement one must keep busy, which is why I have taken on an unpaid gig as the social media intern for a coffee and tea business that donates 100% of its profit to charity.

I also sometimes travel to universities and other places to speak in support of Partners in Health and global access to tuberculosis care, and sometimes I write books because writing makes me happy, and every Tuesday I make a video on vlogbrothers, and I make a podcast about the world cup with my friends from high school, and so on, but none of these things constitutes work. These are just Retirement Projects, which are essential to a happy retirement.

[van1llaskys]

[assiraphales]

the irony in how much obi wan hated politicians only for his number one most hated in the senate to be a sith lord...... and he can’t even go “I told u so” to anyone bc anakins on the dark side and all the jedi are dead

[assiraphales]

obi wan, standing in front of the force ghosts: you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today

obi wan, dragging out a chalkboard with a compilation of all the times he said not to trust politicians, direct quotes along the lines of “maybe palpatine should not be allowed council with my underage padawan”, and a big picture of darth sidious in the middle: let’s get started

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[cherryjams]

‘Hands weaving magnetic-core memory, IBM, Poughkeepsie, New York,’ 1956. Photograph by Ansel Adams.

[bladespark]

My mother used to make computer cores as a "work from home" side business. As a child I got spending money via un-winding the ones that failed testing so that the magnetic center could be re-used. I got between $0.05 and $0.25 per core depending. Mom got more for the finished ones, of course, though I don't know how much. Her sister was an expert, and did the more complicated kind, some of which ended up in satellites and/or were used by NASA!

They were all done by hand using a kind of treadle-operated frame with a little (crochet!) hook to pull the wires around the cores. The people making them were mostly housewives who did this as a side-job in the 80s and 90s. I don't know if it's still done that way anywhere in the USA today, but the history of computing and space exploration is littered with "women's work" like this.

[kafkaesquegf]

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[chronically-ill-dandy]

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

[djkoenig-deactivated20140905]

thanks for ruining my post jackass

[chronically-ill-dandy]

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

[goldenbunny30]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame look I found it

[tinylilhollander]

If Ilya does ever figure out that Shane's autistic it'll be through something so stupid. Like he's scrolling through TikTok one night because he can't sleep and he comes across this video that's like 'Dear autism community: rate this spoon'. And there's this whole reveal where they unwrap it from a cloth so he's expecting the fanciest spoon he's ever seen and then they reveal it and he's so disappointed to find it's just... a normal fucking spoon.

He thinks this must be a joke so he goes to the comments, and sure enough it's absolutely full of people who not only seem to think this spoon is worthy of rating in the first place, but who seem to have very strong opinions on what makes it a good or bad spoon. To Ilya a spoon is a spoon is a spoon. It's absolutely baffling to him that people seem to think the handle looks like it's not weighty enough, or that the shape of the bowl is wrong, or that it's too flat or too square. He opens the playlist of cutlery rating videos because surely this can't be the norm, and sure enough every single one has a comment section full of very strong opinions about how good or bad this normal fucking fork or knife is.

And then a memory returns to him, as he looks over at his peacefully sleeping husband, of Shane moving in and having to get rid of all his cutlery to replace it with his.

"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but yours are really bad to hold, baby. It's literally all I can think about every time I eat here."

And Ilya didn't mind at the time. So Shane likes his own cutlery better? That's a small compromise when Ilya doesn't have strong feelings about silverware in the first place. But now things are beginning to click, and he's beginning to draw a line between the opinionated spoon people and the day he had to drive his cutlery to the nearest goodwill.

Ilya spends the rest of the night reading about autism and suddenly there's so much more that's beginning to make sense. He doesn't know how he'll bring it up with Shane – if he'll ever bring it up with Shane – but for how it's good to know.

[hyphenemdash]

The Cens are in the locker room after a pretty light practice, the season not yet in full swing, and the topic turns to married life, as it often does.

Ilya and Shane mostly stay quiet, giving each other pointed looks when Bood and Wyatt swap stories about their fucking awesome wives. That is until…

“Yeah but like, Roz and Hollzy have the most ideal situation.”

There’s a mix of eyebrow raising and general murmurs of agreement, half of the team unsure if this is Holmberg’s way of coming out.

“What do you mean?” Shane asks, ever one to ignore a social rule.

“You spend all day together kicking ass and being the best at hockey, and then you get to go home together and be and love and shit but also still talk hockey.” Holmberg sighs and stares into his locker a little wistfully. “I wish I was gay so I could have a hockey husband.”

The team is quiet for a minute, some of the younger members nodding in sage agreement. Bood even looks like it’s an intriguing idea.

“Why don’t you date a PWHL player?”

Wyatt says it with it much fuss, shoving his pads into his bag unceremoniously. Holms, however, looks like he’s just been struck by lightning.

“Say that again.”

Wyatt turns to the kid, eyebrows raised like he’s confused by the reaction.

“You know that the PWHL exists, right?”

Holmsberg is too thunderstruck to scoff.

“Yeah. The Charge. They’re…oh my god.”

And thus starts the social media scrolling to figure out which Charge players are 1) single, 2) in Holms age range, and 3) into men

[escapepodding]

But what if the Centaurs worked out Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov had moved countries, joined a worse team and started a charity with Shane because he was in love with him, but didn't realise they were in an actual romantic relationship.

Think of the shenanigans as they tried to get them together. Ilya might think it was a little bit sweet but he would also be humiliated because he is down bad but it's mutual! The pity would have him punching walls.

Shane has no idea whats going on but its weird he keeps getting locked in rooms with Ilya whenever he visits. Are they being bullied? He begins carrying screwdrivers on him to get them out of all the places they find themselves locked in.