can I request a Jaehyun fic. Like 2 idols w/ hidden feelings, but they can't do anything yet bc YN is sunbaenim and ppl are crazy when it comes to idols dating....
Wow that's specific HAHAHAH
hey! this request was a while ago i know, but i finally got around to posting it! i hope you enjoy! link . . .
!! PAIRING & SYPNOSIS : idol!jaehyun x idol!reader.
you and jaehyun had always eyed each other across rooms, someone had to be severely blind to not notice. which happened to be the both of you, unfortunately. you share feelings, yet with the way the media and fans can be, those would have to stay buried and unsaid. maybe one day, just not today.
!! GENRE : fluff, light angst, more like yearning. open ended finish..?
!! WC : 1K (roughly)
!! WARNINGS : reader is 6th member of itzy, this starting timeline is around boynextdoor's debut & itzy’s ‘cake’ era (roughly a month apart), and it just goes from there! if some stuff doesnt make sense timeline wise you shhhh you didnt notice anything. reader is older than jaehyun but is still 2003, just a matter of months.
!! A/N ~ this was a request!! hopefully this fits the vision you had love, sorry this took a while, motivation is ALL OVER THE PLACE. i only want to put the best out for everyone! (another a/n at the end)
people might think that even though you are an idol, you dont take part in being fans of other idols. which is furthest from the truth, you would faint if red velvet walked into the same room as you right now. but recently, you had taken a liking to a new boy group from hybe that just debuted little over a month ago, BOYNEXTDOOR.
promotions for your comeback are a success! itzy has been working very hard and you as a group couldn’t feel prouder of yourselves, always giving 110% every comeback. you had just finished a performance of ‘cake’, exiting the stage and getting touched up by your staff, ryujin and chaeryeong feeding the cameras content for your behind the scenes segments. one of your staffs walk up to you, “y/n! in a second come with me, we are going to have you do a collab with jaehyun and sungho from boynextdoor for a ‘cake’ tiktok!” you shout back in agreement. after getting touched up, you follow the staff into a hallway where the two other idols mentioned were also getting touch ups. you were excited honestly, you just found this group but you loved their music and their talents so far.
“hello!” you greeted, the boys turning to you and almost immediately bowing, almost shyly introducing themselves. you bowed as well, introducing yourself and shaking their hands. you figured out who was who, and realized jaehyun was looking a little flushed as you taught the two how to do the challenge. “awesome! are you ready for the first take?” you ask, and they nod. you all go through a few takes, and once you can all agree on one, you part ways. you bow and thank them endlessly, giving them words of encouragement as they hand you a signed album of theirs, which you take with a big smile. you hand them one of yours, and they bow and thank you like you just gifted them with endless life.
that was the first time you have ever met myung jaehyun, and for some odd reason, it was not your last time thinking about him.
you started seeing each other at award shows, giving the typical respect to each other as idols. when boynextdoor performed, you couldn’t help but stare in awe. they were so energetic, born to be preformers, and jaehyun continuously caught your gaze. he looked out to the crowd, and he looked like he belonged up there, this was his realm. you admired that, you admired him. as an idol! of course..
backstage when you would cross ways, (totally due to coincidence) he smiled at you, but it wasnt the same confidence he had on stage. he nervously jerked his hand as a wave (as least to you), and he would awkwardly bow still like 5 times before he finally pulled himself away from your magnetic field. you thought it was cute honestly, you didn’t realize you had so much impact on someone like him. granted you were his fan, and you liked knowing he was yours.
after boynextdoor had released their HOW? album, itzy followed up with their japanese single ‘Algorhythm” shortly, which was your favorite japanese release so far. you seemed to have shared that with jaehyun, as you saw him reply to a fan on weverse asking for a song recommendation, and seeing him list your song. your song. something in your fluttered, and it made you shake your head in denial. no, feelings in the idol world was almost like public execution, everyone would rip you to shreds if they found out you liked myung jaehyun. it wasnt possible, it couldn’t be possible. it had to stay that way.
at inkigayo one day, you so happen to run into boynextdoor when they are filming something for a behind. you accidentally walked into a shot of jaehyun, wide eyed as you try to leave without bringing attention, but jaehyun turns around at the last second. “sunbaenim? ah, hello!” he stumbled on his words, bowing, which you returned. he walked closer, the camera following, which made you panic since you werent exactly camera ready yet.
“onedoor, look who stopped by! y/n sunbaenim, you guys should all go support her and itzy’s music! fighting!” he smiles brightly at the camera, and you smile as well and pat him on the shoulder, which makes him flush. “thank you jaehyun! onedoor, boynextdoor, fighting!” you and jaehyun make eye contact, and for a second it feels like you both are sending sparks to each other telepathically. you clear your throat and look away, bowing to the staff and walking away. jaehyun resumes his normal antics, and you place a hand over your heart that somehow seemed to be going 70 miles per hour.
jaehyun turns to the camera with a slightly flushed face, quickly changing topic. after filming his behind, he went to the dressing room for boynextdoor, walking in with a sigh. but riwoo knew that sigh from anywhere, turning to jaehyun with a donut in his hand, “let me guess, you caught a glimpse of y/n?” he said, jaehyun shushing him as he frantically looks around. “do you want me to get killed? but if you must know.. yes! and more, she touched my shoulder, and wished us good luck, that means something, right?” jaehyun giggles, actually giggles, making riwoo shake his head.
“i just wish it was possible.” he whispered softly, riwoo nodding. “well, we just started our career, let it marinate a bit longer. we have our lives ahead of us, jaehyun.” riwoo clapped him on the back, jaehyun nodded in agreement. the two rejoined the other members in the middle of chaos, but what else was new around here?
you had no way to tell if jaehyun felt how you did, and unfortunately you didn’t know when that day would come. he didn’t know that you lay in bed and day dream like he did, you dont know that he streams your music and stays up for every comeback to see you pop up on his phone screen. you both will never know how the other feels, yet you both wish on a star for that one day where everything was normal, and you can fulfill a love that you both crave from one another.
owned by @evezwrlds . . .
another a/n ~ hello again! i know i give empty apologies and i dont mean to, i sort of got hit with like a TRUCK in motivation and this came from march... gulp. i will be writing, and updating you on my works, please dont hate me yet... i love you guys!
perm taglist: @moesthinking, @ivehan, @csenarios, @toastmenace, ask to be added!
i finally have something in the chambers, but id like to actually apologize. i didnt realize how burnt up school had me, that when summer started i just wanted to rest all the time. i work as well, and ive been getting my money up, but writing hasnt been on my mind. though now hopefully with something to publish (likely tomorrow) i will get back into the jist of things. hopefully you all forgive me, i love you & appreciate you all!
okay this is getting old but im so sorry i’ve had 0 motivation, especially because its finals week! ive been so brain dead but i promise you i have things in the chambers, and with summer coming ill be #ONDAT , but i love you all dearly be safe this summer and stay healthy 💟
!! PAIRING & SYPNOSIS : boyfriend!sungho x dead!gn!reader
!! GENRE : HEAVY angst, hurt no comfort.
!! WC : 342
!! WARNINGS : should be none!
!! A/N : next installment!!!! everyone strap in!!! this is probably the worst one yet!!!!!!!!!!! whos next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for taking so long, #academicsmustcomefirst)
the one time sungho let himself be open with someone landed him in the hands of fate, you. he let himself be someone he forgot existed within himself, yet, you were the last time he was ever going to make that mistake again.
sungho was a workaholic in college, he couldn’t tell you the last time he got a good night’s sleep to be completely honest. but when he met you, you taught him to relax, to let loose, and he will never forget the night you took him to your—as you called it, “special place”— eulwangni beach. even now as you’ve left him, he goes there to talk to you, always bringing a polaroid of you both at this very beach, holding it in his hands as he wipes away the tears that are landing right onto your face.
your first official date was to an art museum, somewhere sungho had wanted to check out for a while now. you surprised him with tickets to an art gallery viewing, which to this day he has pinned onto his wall. he remembers how he couldn’t peel his eyes off you, no matter how beautiful the art next to you was. you were the real art in his eyes.
at graduation, you both loved to brag you made it as college sweethearts. he kept your cap and gown, he thought that when you look down and watch him as a guardian angel, he wants you to remember that you made great accomplishments when you were gracing this earth with your presence. he also keeps it neat and tidy, you shouldn’t look wrinkled on your guy’s special day right?
sungho never had a sweet tooth, occasional cookies and chocolates, nothing too much. you introduced him to your favorite snack, chocolate covered açaí blueberries, and he swore he saw heaven open up. he still eats them, and everytime he does he wishes you were still right next to him to share with. that’s the only sweet thing in his life now that you’re gone.
synopsis: you were an outcast, sunghoon was not. he was your neighbour, your childhood best friend, your first love. sunghoon didn't know that. on the last day of senior high, you decided to face your fears; go to the party and tell him how you feel. part of you knew that things might not end the way you want it to. still, you went.
"i shouldn't have gone to this party 4 u."
wc: 5.2k
pairing: popular!sunghoon x fem!reader
contains: angst (i tried), childhood best friends, secret crush, first love heartbreak, lack of communication, time apart, mentions of random characters, unexpected reunion, right person- wrong time, use of song lyrics, yn is kinda sad, etc. (let me know if i missed any)
a/n: this story was heavily inspired by the "party 4 u" takes on tiktok. they've been flooding my fyp lately. these 2 tiktoks: [1] & [2] specifically. i strictly only listened to party 4 u - charlie xcx while making this.
this story is dedicated to my best babes, @sunoostripletriple <3 go give her a hug rn
i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i had fun writing it! i haven't written anything in a while, so idk if it gives what’s supposed to be gave? or however that saying goes. i do hope that it meets your expectations.
likes, comments & reblogs are appreciated <3
might contain grammatical errors as english is not my first language. not proofread.
you don’t belong here.
not in this dress and definitely not in this moment. but you do it anyway– sliding on the dress you picked– slowly, shakily. you’ve never been to a party before, nor were you ever invited. unsure whether the outfit you picked is too formal, you throw on your brother’s oversized jacket.
the mirror reflects someone unfamiliar. perhaps a different version of yourself.
someone prettier. someone braver.
someone even sunghoon might look at.
your room is littered with your own clothes, from your bed to the floor. you’ve been mulling over skipping the party for the nth time, uncertain whether this is the right choice. you can just wipe off your makeup, change into your (sunghoon’s) hoodie, crawl into the bed, and bury yourself under your sheets. pretend that the party doesn’t exist, that it’s just a normal night of you staying in.
but your hair is already lightly curled, you’ve done your makeup twice, and you finally convinced your mom to let you borrow one of her necklace after begging for what felt like an hour. you can’t really turn back now.
you hear a knock on the door. it’s your brother, heeseung.
“are you still coming?” he asks.
“i’m almost done.” you lied.
“i’ll wait for you outside.”
it’s too late. you really have to go. for the last time, you stand in front of your vanity mirror, rehearsing what to say to him.
“hey sunghoon. you look good tonight. i mean you always do.” you stutter over your words
“i’ve been wanting to tell you something. i like you. i always have. i think i might be in love with you.”
no. you thought that it’s too cheesy. it’s too much.
over the years, you’ve created different versions of this moment. what words to use, the tone of your voice, when the right time is, and even the outcome. you thought about how his eyes turn into crescent moons, the way his vampire-like fangs show up whenever he genuinely laughs, if he would tell you he feels the same, how you would feel when he pulls you in for a hug while apologizing for not realizing his feelings, and yours sooner. that maybe, you were always the one.
he’s always been the only one.
but you know reality is never that kind. as soon as you meet his eyes, you fail to think of the proper words, let alone form a sentence that truly conveys your feelings.
before you could even change your mind, your phone buzzes. heeseung is getting impatient waiting for you. so you leave.
it’s the last day of senior high. you two are going to different colleges. this is your only shot. tonight is your only chance. if things go south, if he ends up looking at you like a stranger– someone he hadn't spend his whole childhood and adolescent years with– you’ll have months, maybe even years of time and distance to forget.
you tell yourself that you’re not doing this for him, convinced that you’re doing this for yourself. that once you get the words out, once you let go of everything that’s been burning inside you, you’ll be free.
but deep down, a part of you knew.
you’re going to this party for him, not for you.
the party is already in full swing when you arrived. the music is loud, the floor thumping as tangled bodies move in rhythm. not used to this kind of space, you stand still. you pretend to check an important notification from your phone, pretend to be waiting for someone. you’re stalling and you’re not sure what for. maybe for the annoying voice in your head to shut up and let you breathe. or to find the courage to walk up to sunghoon, finally telling him what you’ve been wanting to say.
this party felt foreign. people wear their confidence like perfume. compared to them, you’re a question mark left unanswered. your clothes felt too snug, shoes an inch too high, and your heart definitely too loud. you try to weave through the blur of entwined bodies, scanning the room for that one specific person.
then you see him.
sunghoon.
it didn’t take you long to find him. he’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a red cup in one hand, laughing at whatever jay and jake said. his v-neck shirt clung to his body, adorned with a sleek leather jacket. he drinks from the red cup, his side profile showing off his sharp jawline and his perfectly angled nose.
his smile is genuine. familiar. unlike the room you’re both in. the smile you used to see everyday, back when he was still yours— well, not yours— but back when he was still closer. back when he’d throw small rocks to your window, asking if you’d want to go out for ice cream. back when you lost your grandpa and he invited you for a movie night in his room. blanket forts and popcorn, all set up by him. back when he used to call you “peach” because you once told him peaches were your favourite fruit, and that you always smell like one. he never forgot.
back when you were each other’s only friend.
back when you still mattered.
sunghoon is always the center of attention. it’s like a scene carved out of a coming of age film. he’s being bathed in the golden glow of overhead lights, the music slowing down. he’s the main character, and you’re just a mere extra passing through. he tilts his head back from laughter, and you see people form a semi-circle around him, orbiting him like planets to a sun. he’s the sun and you’re a rock. you can’t look away even if you tried.
you want to walk up to him. say what you’ve been wanting to say.
anything.
something.
your hands tremble slightly at your sides. your fingers finding comfort at the hem of your dress, trying to anchor yourself.
as you take a step forward, she walks in.
eunji.
beautiful eunji with her perfect everything. her presence alone draws everyone’s attention. she makes a beeline to sunghoon like she’s done it over a thousand times. she knows she belongs by his side. you watch for sunghoon’s reaction, freezing for a second when he sees her. for a brief moment, something unreadable flashes in his eyes. is it nervousness? confusion? that the most popular girl in the school is walking towards him?
from where you stand, you see eunji wrap her arms around his neck. then she goes for it, leaning in to kiss him.
and to your demise, he lets her.
your breath hitches. your chest tightens. you stand still, feet glued to the ground, unable to move or look away.
the noise of the party fades into the background, as if the person in charge of your life suddenly turned the volume of the whole world down. everything that was once so loud– the music, the chatter– is now barely a whisper. your legs won’t move, you feel stuck, like a statue that can see and feel everything.
in that moment, a hollow feeling blooms in your chest. you feel utterly alone in a room full of people. although surrounded with noise and laughter, you felt so small, so invisible.
your throat burns, a big lump forming. your eyes start to sting. you try so hard to do everything to ground yourself, you find your nails digging into your palm. you can’t cry now. not here and definitely not in front of everyone.
tragically for you– as if the universe is playing a joke– your eyes blur. mascara coated lashes getting damp with the tears you so badly want to hold back. and then–
“yn!” heeseung’s voice cuts through all the noise. and for once, you were thankful for your brother.
you hurriedly wipe your tears away, quickly turning towards heeseung. you put on a false front, smiling at him as if nothing is wrong.
on the opposite side of the room, sunghoon hears your name, his head snaps in your direction. he turns around, moving away from eunji, eyes scanning the crowd like he’s searching for something– someone.
you.
but you’re gone. you walked away.
the ride home is silent. you insisted that heeseung stays, that you feel lightheaded from the unfamiliar setting. that it’s best you go home. he buys it.
you look out to the window, watching the blurry headlights and streetlights pass like ghosts. the driver wondering why the party ended so early, so soon. you offer a smile, one that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. the driver understood and doesn’t say a word afterwards. you were thankful for that.
your phone buzzes. it was a message from him.
from sunghoon.
[sunghoon 🤍 10:29]
hey, did you attend the party?
i thought i saw you but i wasn’t sure.
you stare at the message, then his contact name. but you don’t answer. what will you even tell him? that you were there? that you watched him kiss someone?
that you’ve been in love with him since he hugged you under that blanket fort?
you open the reply box, then close it. but you open it again, typing out a “yeah, i was there.” but you erase it and you try again. “i was gonna say hi..” you delete it. trying to even out your breathing. trying to make the lump in your throat go away, the ache in you heart shrink, disappear. to pretend that it doesn’t matter. that it doesn’t hurt.
but it does.
in the end, you don’t reply. rather, you think to yourself. answering his message in your mind.
“party on, you party on.”
deleting his message, then his contact.
slowly deleting memories of him.
you convince your parents to let you move out to the city. telling them that it’s the best course of action. that it will help you get familiar with your surroundings once college rolls in.
you leave town a week after graduation.
no texts. no goodbyes.
sunghoon messages you a few more times that summer. random things; things you two used to talk about. harmless things like “did you hear about the new ice cream place that opened up?” or a “come join us at the old arcade!”
you don’t respond.
you read them all. every word, repeatedly. but you let them sit there like messages from an unknown number. a stranger. a part of you hoped he’d try harder. that he’d make the effort to find you. ask you what’s wrong and give you a hug that will heal the very scar he stabbed into your heart.
but he doesn’t. somehow that hurts more than the kiss did.
you stop making blanket forts. stop eating peaches, stop using peach scented body wash. you stop checking his social media. all of the photos you had with him– from elementary to senior high– deleted. except one. a photo taken the summer before senior year. it’s hidden behind a locked album. a picture taken by your own brother, heeseung. you and sunghoon sitting on a swing, backs facing against the screen, ice cream in one hand, the sky a mixed of orange and pink hues, your gaze towards him.
back then you were already wishing for something.
college is your clean slate. a mix of dorm rooms, group projects, lectures, expensive coffee, and new faces. you keep to yourself, studying every chance you get. you make friends, but not real ones. you don’t curl your hair. you store that necklace away. you don’t go to parties.
you turn yourself into a version that is easier to protect, invisible by choice.
time passes. slowly– painfully at first– you healed.
on your second year of college you meet someone. his name is kaito. he’s good to you. he has the kind of laugh that makes you feel fuzzy inside, hands that always know how to interlace with yours. he doesn’t make your heart race. but maybe, that’s not a bad thing. because hearts that race can easily break. a steady heart endures.
everyday he tells you he loves you. it’s the first thing that leaves his mouth in the morning and the last thing he utters before the day ends. you smile and say it back. and for a good while, you believe it.
when kaito proposes it’s soft, pure. simple. a walk on the beach after a fancy dinner. he gets on one knee holding out a small velvety box, a ring tucked inside. it’s dainty, it’s precious.
somehow you hesitate. just for a moment. except you don’t know why.
then you say yes.
not because you were certain. but because you want to be.
your parents are thrilled, his family adored you. everything is perfect. even you start to believe it. that love doesn’t have to be filled with sparks. that it didn’t have to be extraordinary.
for once, you believe that the hole in your heart is patched up. that sunghoon is just a distant memory you learn to live with.
but memories always have a way of returning.
it starts slow.
a scent, faint and familiar. the kind that smells like cold summer nights and someone’s sweater draped over your shoulders. you catch it on a stranger passing by the grocery aisles. your heart stutters, it knows. for a brief moment, you close your eyes. it’s not kaito. not the steady love you said yes to.
it’s someone else. sunghoon.
it’s been 7 years, you thought. he can’t be using the same cologne. but you know that scent anywhere. he wore it throughout junior and senior year after all. ever since heeseung got it for him for christmas.
you shake it off. it must be a coincidence.
except it happens again.
you’re at your local café, the one you’ve been frequenting to for group projects and late night cramming. you’re sitting down in a corner table, your laptop open and half a pastry forgotten on your plate. the song plays faintly through the speakers– she needs him by her’s– an indie track that used to be on all of your playlists. the one sunghoon would tease you about before admitting he kind of liked the band too.
your hands hover above the keys. you stare out the window, watching people pass by. maybe the song will finish quicker if you don’t pay attention to it. but it stays. long enough to remind you of the memories. long enough for the lyrics to cling to your skin like his sweater once did.
and then, kaito.
your sweet fiancé. kaito comes home with a new bottle of body wash and other travelling necessities for his upcoming business trip.
“i thought you’d like this one, babe.” he says, placing it onto the bathroom counter.
“it’s peach scented. you like fruity things, right?”
you do.
it’s the exact brand you used to have in your old childhood bathroom. the one sunghoon would always tease you about whenever he’s over to play with heeseung. saying “why do you smell like a juice box?”
you stopped buying it after the party.
but the world likes to play a joke on you. the same body wash sits innocently on your counter. like time is just a concept, that it’s not real. like years haven’t passed. everything you tried so hard to erase is coming back. uninvited.
then a letter addressed to you comes.
a small pink envelope in your mailbox. you almost miss it, wedged between bills and packages. inside is a wedding invitation. heeseung, your brother. he’s getting married.
the card is beautiful– soft lavender coloured, adorned with bold calligraphy, a picture of heeseung and his fiancé, information and the dress code.
lee heeseung and im seo-ah
invites you to celebrate their wedding
saturday, june 19th, 5:00pm
at serenity garden
you stare at it, contemplating. there’s no rsvp option. you have to go.
kaito can’t make it. he calls the night before, apologizing every chance he gets. apparently there’s an emergency in japan. something about the budget and the investors. he promises to make it up to you when he returns. you tell him it’s fine. that you can manage.
you arrive at the venue. you wear a simple, ankle length dress with layers, coloured in different shades of blue, and a small scarf that came along with it. the dress is shaped like a flower, quite fitting for the theme of the wedding. you look like a woman who’s moved on.
but inside, you’re still the same quiet girl, heart pacing.
the sky is bright and clear. a gentle breeze flutters through the air, carrying the faint scent of lilac and hydrangeas. the sun casts golden streaks over the flowers and the white line-covered chairs.
everything feels like a scene from a movie– too perfect to be real. soft jazz plays in the background, fairy lights hang between tree branches. it’s romantic. beautiful in a way that makes your chest ache.
because it reminds you of your younger self.
the one who curled her hair in her childhood bedroom. the one that carefully brushed eyeshadow on her lids. the one who felt like she didn’t belong. you’re watching someone else’s life unfold– someone who belongs into this moment, this life, better than you do.
and then you see him.
standing tall by the entrance of the venue in a perfectly tailored tuxedo. his face breaks into the biggest grin when he spots you.
“yn!” he calls, kindly weaving through the guests to get to you.
your heart beats rapidly.
he sweeps you into a tight hug. a hug so warm, so real, so grounding.
“can’t believe you, out of all people, are married. you look amazing!” you say, pulling back from your brother’s hug.
he shrugs. “you clean up okay yourself.”
then his wife appears– seo-ah. she exudes elegant grace, the kind of woman who makes you understand why your brother fell in love so hard.
seo-ah greets you with a sweet smile. then a hug. you can tell she’s extremely nervous. “i’ve heard so many things about you!”
“and i’ve heard so much about you!” you reply. “all good things, i swear.”
later, during the reception, your name is called for a speech.
your stomach flips. you weren’t prepared. you didn’t plan much. you didn’t think you’d be asked. but it only makes sense since you’re the sister of the groom.
every eye in the room is on you. something that never happened before. your legs feel like they will give out the second you make your way to the small stage. but you do it anyway. you hold the mic with both hands.
“hi.” you begin, your voice shaking. “i’m heeseung’s younger sister. surprising right?” a few chuckles ripple through the crowd.
“i basically spent most of my life watching him be the loudest person in every room. the first person to finish a whole box of ramen in a week, and definitely the worse person to share a bathroom with.”
more laughter breaks the tension. you exhale and continue.
“but i can assure you that he’s the most loyal person i’ve ever known. and i’m not saying that because he’s my brother. i remember when my first pet hamster died, he stayed up with me all night. he even bought me the candies i liked with the very little allowance he had. when i failed my physics exam, he made sure to tutor me until i understood the gravity of the situation.”
you catch heeseung looking a little flustered and you smiled at him.
“when he met seo-ah, he changed. not in a bad way, but in a real way. he became someone who listened more, someone who laughed a little softer, but loved harder. louder. and it’s all because of you, seo-ah. you truly bring out the best in him. i will never trade you for anyone else, you’re my sister now. thank you for taking him off my back. and good luck dealing with that.” another wave of laughter erruupts.
you pause.
“here’s to new beginnings. to love. the kind that grows with you. and the kind that feels like coming home.”
applause and glasses clinking fills the room. you feel like you might float away from sheer relief. that attention is no longer directed at you, but to the newlyweds. you don’t notice the eyes that were once watching you.
but what you didn’t see is how a pair of eyes never looked away. a pair of eyes that never left your frame ever since you stepped up to speak.
his fingers curl loosely around a champagne glass. his chest rising, then falling. as if he just learned how to breathe. except you don’t see it. the way his expression softens with every word that leaves your mouth. a sense of pride in his gaze whenever you made the crowd laugh. a smile threatening to tug at his lips. you don’t see any of it.
not yet.
descending down the steps, you finally start to breathe evenly. that’s when it happens–
your eyes meet.
everything stops.
the music, the laughter. the chatter, the clinking of glass. everything goes silent.
it feels like you’re seventeen again. standing in a crowded room, but somehow alone. every memory you once buried, bursts to the surface. seven years of silence. of forgetting, pretending. all coming out.
he’s wearing a charcoal grey suit that fits like it was made for him. he looks older, more refined. he’s no longer the boy you used to love, but a man. however, his eyes stayed the same. soft yet unwavering.
your eyes start to sting, a lump forming in your throat. you want to run. you want to leave. you have to. you need to.
but he’s faster. “wait–yn–”
his hand gently wraps around your wrist. it’s not forceful, but enough to stop you from leaving. enough to say please.
you stop, not turning around. you can’t.
“i didn’t think you’d come,” he says behind you, voice soft, yet unsure. the way that makes your throat tighten. “i was hoping you did. but i didn’t know.”
then he sees it. the dainty ring around your finger. but he doesn’t say anything. instead, he lets go and asks “how have you been?”
you don’t answer right away. closing your eyes, trying to stabilize your breathing. you turn around, forcing yourself to look at him with a smile. it’s way harder than you thought it would be.
“i’ve been good.” you look down at your hand. “i’m engaged.” showing him the ring kaito gave you.
he swallows, hard. “congratulations! are you happy?” now he’s the one forcing a smile.
“i am. it’s easy, it’s stable.”
“i missed you, you know.” he says quietly, voice cracking. “for years, i didn’t know how to reach you. i texted you, but i assumed you didn’t want to be bothered.”
you don’t answer him. and as if he understood, he nods.
there’s so much silence. it’s heavy, full of everything you never said. eventually, you say goodbye to him. then you go over to heeseung and seo-ah, giving them the gift and telling them that the wedding was beautiful. you hug them and promised to invite them for lunch. you walk out, the same way you did 7 years ago.
but that night, you find yourself in your childhood bedroom, back where everything started. your phone buzzes. it’s an unknown number. but part of you know who it is.
[unknown 11:10 pm]
i got your number from heeseung.
can we meet up by the lake tomorrow. just to talk and catch up.
there’s something need to tell you.
the lake hadn’t changed.
maybe the tress were taller. the path was overgrown, used. the rope of the swing had frayed from the years and weather. but the lake itself– the still, glassy surface reflecting the colors of the sky– look exactly the same. the same as the last time you were here. unmoving, serene, quietly watching as if it had been waiting for you all long.
your heart is stuttering in your chest, and there he is.
sunghoon sitting on the swing, hands in his hoodie pocket, just the way he used to be. his silhouette is outlined by the pink and orange hue of the sunsent. and for a second, it’s like time never passed. like you’re still seventeen, hiding away from the rest of the world, with him. talking about your dreams, too big and too small to name.
he turns around when he hears you, tension in his jaw, his shoulders– but his eyes remain the same. soft. the kind reserved only in your memories. only for you.
“you came,” he says, voice quiet.
you nod, words unable to come out. the lump in your throat is already forming, threatening to knock the air out of your lungs. you didn’t think coming back here would be this hard. or maybe you did. you just hope you were stronger now.
he gestures towards the swing. “sit with me?”
for a second, you hesitate. but you walk closer, the grass moving beneath your feet. your fingers graze the rope, then the wood plank of the swing. you remember the summers you spent here, pushing each other back and forth as high as you can. laughter echoing between the trees. it was your place with him. a secret you both kept from the rest of the world. a place where everything felt a bit easier.
sunghoon sits on the other end of the swing. for a few minutes, the only thing you hear are the sound of the cicadas, the wind, and the distant ripple of the water. the quiet feels loud. your heart that was once steady is racing. you wonder if the man beside you can hear it. and then he speaks–
“i didn’t know you left a week after graduation,” he says. voice shaky just enough to reveal his nervousness.
your head turns toward him. slow and hesitant. but you don’t say anything. you’ve always been the quiet one between the two of you.
“i mean… i found out eventually, as soon as college started. but not before that. not when it mattered, when i could’ve done something.”
you look down at your hands. the same hands that once held pieces of him. notes he’d pass to you in class, fries you used to fight over. the same ones that used to hold his own whenever you feel scared to walk back home. especially after getting scolded by your parents. the same hands that held your small secret. the hands that held your feelings for him.
“i asked heeseung where you were,” he continues. “but he wouldn’t tell me. he said you didn’t feel like going out. i should’ve realized sooner that you didn’t want to be found. by me.”
it was true. you begged heeseung not to say anything. told him that it was better that way. that it was easier than explaining that his own best friend– your own best friend– broke your heart.
sunghoon chuckles, but it’s bitter, empty. “i didn’t understand. i kept texting you. i kept hoping that maybe, you’ll show up with a smile on your face. telling me that you were sick and was bedridden for days. when i found out that you went to the graduation party, i thought i knew how to get you out of your room. so i threw so many parties. i told myself that it was for fun, for the guys, to blow off steam after exams. but it wasn’t.”
your vision starts to blur. that god awful lump in your throat is back. he looks at you, eyes shining in the low light. honest, unflinching.
“i threw those parties for you.”
the words hit you with the force of a tidal wave. you can’t breathe. your chest caves around the weight of your heavy heart. you finally heard the truth you never knew you needed. the idea that he had missed you too. that he looked for you in ways only he knew how. in places filled with noise.
you cover your mouth with your hand, trying to steady your breathing. your sobs, yourself. but it’s too late. the tears come fast. they’re hot, heavy, unstoppable. the dam you spent 7 years building, crumbles without mercy.
“i’m sorry,” you mumble. words cracking like glass. “i’m so sorry, hoon.” and that was enough for him.
he moves. arms wrapping around you, pulling you off the swing and into his arms. he holds you like you’re fragile glass, like he knows how long you’ve been holding everything in. he always does. and that healed you. the scar you once had in your heart, fading away. he’s been waiting to hold you for years. 7 whole years.
you cry. until tears won’t come out anymore.
you cry for the years you lost. for something that could have been. you cry for the girl you used to be– the one who was so in love, yet so afraid. the girl who was so sure that she will never be enough. you cry because the love you had for him never died. just buried beneath time and distance. you cry because you hate that he’s here, when it’s too late.
sunghoon doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t stop you from crying. instead, he wraps his arms around you, lets you bury your face into his shoulders. he lets you soak his hoodie with your tears. it feels like forgiveness.
his voice comes out low, almost trembling. “i looked for you in every girl i met. i tried to move on. i really did. but no one can replace you. no one knew how to make the world quiet down with one single glance.”
you want to say something. tell him that you loved him first. that you never stopped loving him. but the words refuse to come out. the ache in your heart is too big, the wound too raw. so you stay quiet.
and he understands, he always does.
for the first time in 7 years of being apart, silence feels like healing.
you stay like that, head resting on his shoulder, gazing into the horizon. until the stars begin to peek through the sky. neither of you move. neither of you dares to let go.
because maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the end. but a new beginning.
likes, comments & reblogs are appreciated <3
a/n: i wont lie, i cried while writing some of the parts. especially when that part of the song coincidentally aligns with the “sad” bits. that’s why it took me a bit to finish it. an empath lives a hard life… also because i was out for work and a date for with my bf <3
do not fret! there will be a second part to this <3 see u soon!
Hi cutie !! Can you write a piece of fluff where the reader is Anton’s twin sister but she’s dating / has a crush on eunseok? Can be a drabble, can be hcs idm!
༊࿐ The Space Between ⎯ε❤︎з s.es
➥ ◜ ⓘ being anton’s twin sister sucks when you have a crush on one of his best friends. why would he ever notice you, right? except… he does.
a/n 𓂃 i am soooo sorry for the delay, i've been incredibly busy!! but nonetheless, i hope you enjoy :)
for as long as eunseok can remember, you have always been his best friend's twin sister. nothing more, nothing less.
and for as long as you can remember—
he’s been everything you tried not to like.
it started small.
a stupid crush you brushed off, telling yourself it didn’t matter. he was just around a lot. just familiar. just easy to notice.
but then it didn’t go away.
it got worse.
it turned into you fixing your posture when he walked in. pretending not to hear your name just so you wouldn’t have to meet his eyes too quickly. laughing a second too late because you were too busy watching him first.
you don’t know if he notices.
and somehow—that’s the worst part.
because if he does, then it’s embarrassing.
and if he doesn't…
then maybe you don’t matter enough for him to.
the thing is—
eunseok does notice.
just not in the way you think.
it’s quiet, careful. he doesn’t point it out, doesn’t tease, doesn’t say a word. he just… watches.
he notices the way you hesitate around him, the way your words soften when you talk to him, the way your gaze lingers too long before darting away.
and he shouldn’t notice.
he really shouldn’t.
because you’re his best friend’s sister.
someone he has spent so long seeing as “just there.”
and yet… there it is.
a pull he can’t explain.
a warmth in his chest whenever you laugh at something small, whenever you fidget without realizing it, whenever you look at him like you’re catching him in a thought.
he shouldn’t feel this way.
he knows he shouldn’t.
it’s complicated.
but still, he can’t help it.
he tries to focus on anything else—homework, practice, conversations with his friend. but even in the corner of his mind, you’re there.
“you’re staring.”
your voice cuts through his thoughts, and he blinks, caught.
“…am i?” he says quietly, unsure if he should even admit it.
“yes.”
your expression shifts. half exasperated, half amused. and it hits him that he’s caught between wanting to look away and wanting to stare longer.
“…okay,” he murmurs, because what else can he say?
he doesn’t move.
because even though he knows he probably should, there’s a part of him that can’t.
and part of him wonders… if he steps back, will he regret it?
his chest tightens slightly, not uncomfortable. just unfamiliar.
like something is settling into place too late.
“when did you get like this?” he asks, softer now.
you blink. “like what?”
he hesitates.
because he doesn’t have the right word for it.
not one that won’t change everything.
“different,” he says instead.
your expression shifts, something more vulnerable slipping through.
“…is that a bad thing?”
he shakes his head immediately.
“no.”
and he means it.
you’re nervous, he can see it, and it makes something twist in his chest. a mix of wanting to protect you and wanting to see you, really see you.
he shifts slightly, and your hand brushes against his, lightly, almost accidentally and your fingers twitch. without thinking, they curl around his, holding on before you even realize it.
his thumb moves faintly over your fingers, slow, deliberate, and the motion sends sparks up your arm. he notices me. he really notices me. your chest twists and your breath catches like it’s too much and not enough all at once.
and part of him still worries... about lines crossed, about what his friend would think, about whether it’s right. but for this moment, in this quiet space where only the two of you exist, that worry fades.
because your hand in his feels… right.
and maybe, just maybe, he can figure the rest out later.
Thank you for the tag, my dear @ainulindaelynn. I hope you're doing alright 🤍
It's been a proper long time since I did one of these, and since I deleted my previous ones, I figure it's a good time to start fresh 😊
What is the origin of your blog name? The quintessence of my hyperfixation on Brasidas & Sparta over the last few years. The Brasideioi were the army that marched to Thrace with him. After they returned to Sparta, they continued to be set apart from the rest of the army - extremely unusual in Sparta.
What's your 'I will always order this' food? Unfortunately, Korean Chicken. It's so good, but also incredibly unhealthy. Luckily I live a long way from the ability to order food at all, so winning I guess lol
What's your overused emoji? 🤍 I use this a lot
What's your current comfort media? I've been watching the youtube channels Treasure Books and Camelia Craft Designs for a few weeks now. I fall asleep to them and they're basically my default now. I also watch a bunch of Hermits - faves are DocM77, Keralis, BDubs, SmallishBeans & MumboJumbo, but I watch others as well.
Song you've had on repeat this week? I recently discovered Every Chance I Get (I Want You in the Flesh) by Dan Auerbach [of the Black Keys] and it is such a vibe. Otherwise, I'm still on my 2025 Faves playlist with all the usual suspects (Killers, Editors, Interpol etc.)
Tagging a few people if you're keen - no pressure! Hope you're all well. @iraaileme @krankittoeleven @findusinaweek @asneakyobserver @erzsebetrosztoczy @merelyafigment @dev1lsminion
blog name cherries ( chrri ) fic ( i write fanfiction > < ) favourite food 2 order garlic bread overused emoji 😭 🥺 🥀 ... comfort media watching friends or stupid reddit stories TT on repeat fire fire ( shimza n arco ) & hot gum ( sofia isella )
gracias for the tag mickie ! !! ! :3 this is yuna on her yap acc hehehejehe
lets do a lil allat abt me. . .
blog name candoi (candle) ella (because its cute!) . actual origin of the name is on scratch.mit.edu when i used to be 'aesthetic' on there , there was this girl bullying me and erm i called her drake and she backed off . mind you she was 16 and i was 13 at the time... but the user was cute and i made a fake account to troll her and yeah she's still on there i think on a new user (it starts with lace ofc 🙄) but yeah .. honestly i used it besides pngfilms because ONE i wanted a new user and TWO because i wanted to show myself that i could do anything and that no one can stop me. 😛 if shes a bishh and you know it clap ur hands clap clap goofy ahh typa shi
favourite food 2 order japanese food or chinese takeout
overused emoji 😛 . 😭 . ✌️ . 🩷 . :3
comfort media youtube , webtoons , discord , or stabfish.io ... oRrrrrRrrr sometimes fanfics some of them be yummy yummers 🤤
on repeat catch catch (yena) , rude (h2h ... accidentally sang it on open mic in my classs yesteday i turned into a 🍅 ☹️) , knife (enhypen .. i miss heeseung ☹️☹️)
blog name: it’s actually quite obvious lol! i love chuu and the user was actually to honour chuu’s album too! i js added emo for the fun of it 😼
fav food to order: im not really picky but i love desserts especially cheesecakes yum and also a must have is mozzarella sticks 😋
overused emoji: recently it has been ✌️🤧🤭😝🥺💔😼 i live on emojis guys sry
comfort media: commentary utube vids! specifically rebal d and dankyjabo’s and also gaming vids of kubzscouts and laurenzside, obviously fics and finally any manga/manhwa i can get my hands on
on repeat: my song hyper fixations change daily but for a while its been venus flytrap by marina, who’s dat (jane doe) by closeyoureyes, 404 new era by kiiikiii, apple pie by h2h, nemonemo by yena and finally applause by lady gaga 😽
Blog name : I go by Yuki, but I have friends who sometimes just call me Yui. I js added the extra iosx, there's not much meaning for it 😭
Favorite food to order : I don't rlly order food, but I enjoy eating Acai bowls or defo ice cream or ramen fs :3
Overused emojis : I use a lot, but mostly these 🫶🏻🥹😭💔✌🏻
Current comfort media : I watch a lot of documentaries on crime, exploring abandoned places or paranormal places and reactions videos. Though, as of currently, iv been binge watching ShooshiMooshi, Rotten Mango, Jidion, Skeeter Jean, Kmk, Daz Games honestly, it just depends on what my mood is, but I loveee watching yt, if I watch movies it's rlly js horror
Song on repeat : UpsideDown Kiss - TXT (Iv streamed this like 10k times alrdy), Three - Cult Member, Sextape - Deftones, Crimewave - Crystal Castles, Being so Normal - Peach Pit, Insomniac - Memo Boy, Sdp Interlude - Travis Scott, Zen - Sadder Days, UGLY - the GazettE and lastely Hurt me - Ashmaze. These have all been in my rotation these past weeks, I listen to music a bunch 💔
Tagging : @miellette , (irdk who else to tag lmao)
i finally got into illit officially last year and jellyous became my favorite song so of course i had to name my blog after it ( ˘ᴗ˘ )
what’s your ‘i will always order this’ food?
a cheeseburger
what’s your overused emoji?
☹️ this one
what’s your current favorite media?
i’ve become obsessed with the hunger games and it’s probably cause i was a child focusing on other things when the movies came out so i’m late lol (watching songbirds and snakes 2 years ago caused the obsession)
sooo actually on almost all my social media platforms it have "evez...." in there, it was just a fun way to use my nickname. (fun fact, before i started writing, this account's username was actually hiddenevez bc nobody knew i had it)
what's your "i will always order this" food?
pasta, bonus points if its alfredo MMMM
overused emoji?
💆♀️ , it started as an inside joke with mei (my partner on @evenmei) , and now its become part of our language.
what's your current favorite media?
i got into danganronpa!!! love that series down i made my friends watch it with me. i am also new to tadc, both thanks to my sister. also recently have been very into &team... potential writing??? hmmm... 😛
song you have had on repeat this week?
go in blind by &team, i love that song DOWN.
my tags: @moesthinking , @csenarios , @ivehan , @toastmenace , @gyurilla, + anyone who wishes to join!!!
!! PAIRING & SYPNOSIS : boyfriend!sungho x dead!gn!reader
!! GENRE : HEAVY angst, hurt no comfort.
!! WC : 342
!! WARNINGS : should be none!
!! A/N : next installment!!!! everyone strap in!!! this is probably the worst one yet!!!!!!!!!!! whos next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for taking so long, #academicsmustcomefirst)
the one time sungho let himself be open with someone landed him in the hands of fate, you. he let himself be someone he forgot existed within himself, yet, you were the last time he was ever going to make that mistake again.
sungho was a workaholic in college, he couldn’t tell you the last time he got a good night’s sleep to be completely honest. but when he met you, you taught him to relax, to let loose, and he will never forget the night you took him to your—as you called it, “special place”— eulwangni beach. even now as you’ve left him, he goes there to talk to you, always bringing a polaroid of you both at this very beach, holding it in his hands as he wipes away the tears that are landing right onto your face.
your first official date was to an art museum, somewhere sungho had wanted to check out for a while now. you surprised him with tickets to an art gallery viewing, which to this day he has pinned onto his wall. he remembers how he couldn’t peel his eyes off you, no matter how beautiful the art next to you was. you were the real art in his eyes.
at graduation, you both loved to brag you made it as college sweethearts. he kept your cap and gown, he thought that when you look down and watch him as a guardian angel, he wants you to remember that you made great accomplishments when you were gracing this earth with your presence. he also keeps it neat and tidy, you shouldn’t look wrinkled on your guy’s special day right?
sungho never had a sweet tooth, occasional cookies and chocolates, nothing too much. you introduced him to your favorite snack, chocolate covered açaí blueberries, and he swore he saw heaven open up. he still eats them, and everytime he does he wishes you were still right next to him to share with. that’s the only sweet thing in his life now that you’re gone.
just wanna say i’ll still be writing for heeseung & he is still included in my enhypen masterlist, i am NAWT erasing him, and if you dont wanna see heeseung content then you can find somewhere else to be respectfully
Can you do wonbin bf!headcanons just like you did with eunseok?
LOVE SO GOOD 𝜗℘ ･ׅ
FEELS LIKE A THRILLER !
➥ ◜ ⓘ how wonbin would be like in a relationship
wonbin x gn!reader ☁︎ wc . 368 𑇛 ۫ ៹ fluff intimacy established relationship ◞♡ library
a/n: thank you so much for requesting!! i hope you enjoy this post :)
boyfriend!wonbin who teases in that dry, low energy way. you say something dramatic and he just raises an eyebrow like, “really?” but there’s the smallest smile tugging at his lips. he’ll poke fun at you, but the second someone else tries? suddenly he’s not amused.
boyfriend!wonbin who’s surprisingly affectionate in subtle ways. not constant PDA, but his hand will naturally rest at your lower back when you walk. his fingers will hook into your sleeve. when you’re sitting next to each other, his knee presses against yours and just stays there. it’s quiet contact. grounding.
boyfriend!wonbin who acts cool but gets soft when you’re soft with him. if you randomly cup his face or tell him you’re proud of him, he’ll blink for a second like he short circuited. then he laughs it off… but later that night he’ll replay it in his head.
boyfriend!wonbin who protects your peace without making it dramatic. if you’re overwhelmed in a crowd, he subtly moves you to the side, hand firm around yours. if you’re upset, he doesn’t force you to talk, he just sits next to you until you do.
boyfriend!wonbin who fixes your hair without thinking about it. if a piece of your hair falls into your face, he’ll quietly reach over and tuck it behind your ear. no big comment, just a soft “there,” like it’s the most normal thing.
boyfriend!wonbin automatically pulls you closer in crowds. his hand finds the small of your back and gently guides you through people. sometimes he just keeps his hand there even after the crowd is gone.
boyfriend!wonbin lets you play with his hands. you’ll start tracing the lines on his palm or comparing hand sizes and he just lets you, watching quietly with that small smile because he thinks it’s cute.
boyfriend!wonbin who loves quiet dates. walking together at night, sharing earphones, sitting side by side watching videos on his phone. sometimes he’ll rest his chin on your shoulder absentmindedly, just basking in your presence.
boyfriend!wonbin who always walks a little slower so you can keep up. the way he quietly takes your hand so you can walk side by side.
ⓘ The news of 6 missing boys spreads like wildfire across your town. Speculation leads to the belief of the paranormal having a role in the case. You, a well renowned medium have been hired to investigate the last place the boys were seen. Equipped with a camera holding the powers to peer into the past, you’re determined to bring the truth of this case to light.
✹ 𝒞. ot6 boynextdoor x reader ౨ৎ Paranormal au, Horror, Angst, Hurt with no comfort, Mental health topics, Major character death, Mentions of suicide, Violence, Gore descriptions, Cannibalism, Cult setting, Religious violence, Set in the 80s, Based off Fatal Frame 1
📌 Park Sungho was the first to disappear ( as reported from the notes of Lee Sanghyeok. ), last seen at the entrance of the forest where the boys were previously seen exiting, it is believed they all went back in to find him. The forest is dark and ominous, yet you still step foot into your first mystery: The first boy to disappear.
📌 Lee Sanghyeok, also referred to as Riwoo by friends, is assumed to be the last boy to go missing. Most information about this case is derived from tattered notes Riwoo left. The last entry was found near an abandoned mind shaft. Aware of the dangers ahead, you continue your journey into the old mines.
ⓘ CONTENT WARNING ────⠀Murder, Paranormal, Semi descriptive gore, Horror, Violence, Near main character death, Angst, Occult, Cult mentions
WC TBD
📁 file for case 02
࿐༢ㅤㅤ MYUNG JAEHYUN ( VICTIM 03 )
📌 Myung Jaehyun, the only boy that law enforcement believes is alive. Hikers report seeing him wandering the forest, but hiding when called out to. The last sighting was at the old boat dock everyone refuses to go to because of many rumors about the area being haunted. You’re collecting bruises from the investigation, but you’re eager to find at least one of the boys alive.
📌 Han Dongmin, also known as Taesan; is the case that personally causes you the most anxiety. People report sightings of a ghostly figure covered in blood, others even recount threats being whispered into their ears. Taesan is no doubt an angry ghost. You brace yourself as you head into a dark manor, hoping you’ll make it out alive.
ⓘ CONTENT WARNING ────⠀ Murder, Paranormal, Horror, Violence, Semi descriptive gore, Angst, Action, Cult mentions, Cannibalism, Religious horror, Near main character death, Occult
WC TBD
📁 file for case 04
࿐༢ㅤㅤ KIM DONGHYUN ( VICTIM 05 )
📌 Kim Donghyun, the one you have absolutely no idea about. No matter how much you searched, zero information has been provided on this mysterious man. You travel further into the manor, completely unaware of what you may discover. All you have is your camera, and a faint voice beckoning you to travel further into the dark manor.
📌 Finally, the last case, Kim Woonhak. Throughout your journey, you’ve picked up tape recordings echoing his voice, and in a way, he’s been guiding you all along. Carrying battle scars and running off pure adrenaline, you make your way to the abandoned cult settlement, your final destination.
ⓘ CONTENT WARNING ────⠀ Paranormal, Horror, Violence, Semi descriptive gore, Angst, Cult, Religious horror, Main character death, Skin ship
WC TBD
📁 file for case 06
a/n : HERE SHE ISS AND IM SOO EXCITED TO START WRITING AGAINN! I’d also like to say, if you don’t like heavy topics like this, scroll! I am not putting up with hate istg.
baratheonpilled
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
dededos
romaincrisis
jbbartram-illu
izzy806
snowghoul
