[dogpuppy]

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

odyssey dashboard simulator

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

between two choices here…

scylla

charbydis

Voting ended onSep 21, 2025

to be so honest neither are looking great but sometimes u gotta make tough decisions. nobody tell my crew about this btw

65 notes

⬜ crewmate-238-deactivated12109

the sirens are dangerous to YOU. i understand them though. we are holding hands and singing and they're not even eating me

🧜‍♀️ siren.girl.40 Follow

no we’re not

⚔️ 0restes

OP being deactivated really adds something here

🎵 demodocus.sings.a.lot Follow

the sirens killed him

🐅 circe.without.mercy

62,234 notes

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

just fucked up so bad i met queen helen from sparta and called her "helen of troy" in front of her husband who literally spent ten years fighting a war to get her back FROM TROY. about to throw myself into the sea

💅 face.that.launched.1000.ships Follow

omg no worries babygirl come back anytime :))) happens to everyone

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

was no one going to tell me helen of troy had a tumblr

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

FUCK i did it again

56,329 notes

⬜ crewmate-24-deactivated9823

for real though has anyone seen elpenor

#i could have sworn he was with us when we were at circes??

4 notes

⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764

dreaming of burger made of helios' cattle rn. mmm

⛰️ oracle-at-delphi Follow

it is actually insane that people are reblogging this. do you know how disrespectful this is to helios and to all of the gods?? those are literally sacred cattle, i shouldn't be seeing odysseus' crew blogging about how they want to make them into burgers. it's not funny and it's not a joke.

⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764

#it was gonna be such a perfect day for a bbq but its stormy all the sudden #:( #oh well i guess we will just eat our burgers inside

20,572 notes

🐗 antinous420

how long could it possibly take to weave a fucking shroud

📷 ithaca-fact-checker Follow

fun fact! it can actually take 1,543 years to weave a burial shroud for one’s father in law, depending on the materials, style, and craftsman!

🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka

ayyy ithaca fact checker i missed you

🐗 antinous420

who the hell is running this account

#that has to be a joke right #otherwise that would mean that like only an immortal could weave these #ik athena is goddess of weaving but she cant be the only one doing it #right???

322 notes

🏐 what.up.its.nausica

not the random naked man i found on my shore who i almost got betrothed to being odysseus king of ithaca are you KIDDING me

🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor

i thought he was dead???

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

im not

🏄 pisistratus-son-of-nestor

@ telemakhos.of.ithaca @ queen-penelope-official HELLO???

23,753 notes

🐅 circe.without.mercy

actually disgusting that people are still following @/calyps0 when she literally kept odysseus captive on her island for seven years. yes odysseus is incredibly problematic and he should be held accountable for actions. yes i dont support what he did to polyphemus and i will block anyone who said that was deserved. but he literally has a wife and son he needs to get back to and it's disgusting that she tried to impede him like this

🏖️ calyps0 Follow

hey what was going on when he stayed at your place for a year

🏖️ calyps0 Follow

lmfao she blocked me

#girl this situation is messyyyy

16,422 notes

🦉 goddess-of-wisdom

why is everyone so mad at odysseus. he’s just a silly little guy. my silly little mortal. he does tricks. free him

🔱 earthshaker Follow

he blinded my son

🦉 goddess-of-wisdom

ok??? have you considered that maybe your son was being a little bitch

45,890 notes

🚣‍♂️ captain.odysseus

lmfaoooo ive been sending anon hate to polyphemus and he still doesn’t know it was me, odysseus, son of laertes sacker of cities king of ithaca who lives at ithaca palace and is currently sailing home on the aegean sea. click the read more to track my voyage home

Read more

#what are you gonna do about it big guy #nobody cares

5,738 notes

👁️pol.y.phe.mus Follow

when i find whoever it is that is sending me these you are going to be so sorry

3 notes

👑 queen-penelope-official

like this post if you want to be included in the archery contest tomorrow!

#may the best shot win!

108 likes

🍽️ suitor-37

anyone noticed the quality of penelope’s wines at ithaca palace has kind of sucked lately

🕶️ ordinary.beggar.dont.worry Follow

i have a strong feeling that you won’t have to worry about this for much longer :)

17 notes

[nyctosaurid]

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

[nyctosaurid]

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever. 

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons. 

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

[inkthecryptid]

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

[crazysodomite]

The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband

[crazysodomite]

But if a woman acted incompetent once then she will be literally crucified in the street and she's evil for manipulating her husband into settling for less and suddenly it's not a silly endearing sitcom trope 🤔

[parkayquarts]

i really cannot stand the character archetype in film of the "unpopular nerdy ugly girl" being portrayed by the most conventionally attractive, thin, clear-skinned actress ever you cannot tell me that amanda goddamn seyfried was some fugly lesbigay loser as a foil to megan fox you cannot tell me beloved babyfaced winona ryder was a social outcast at her school you cannot convince me that rachel sennott and ayo edebiri are notoriously "ugly, untalented gays" even riverdale lampshaded this by fully acknowledging that cheryl shouldnt have starred as carrie in the school play and it shouldve been ethel cause ethel is The Fat One Nobody Likes and ethel even IS chubby enough that you could actually consider her "fat" but she's still an acceptably Cute type of fat but in the end she STILL gets denied the role anyway. real ugly and/or fat girls are straight up not allowed to exist on camera even when the narrative tells you they're there they're not actually there. im just so tired. where is the acne. [flinging myself against the walls of my padded cell] where is the acne where is the acne wwhere is the fucking acne

[chamiryokuroi]

My piece for the @dcfanmadezines Local lesbian aunt and her bi nephew hanging out after a hard night day of work.

Zine is available for free online, but if you wish to own a physical copy pre-orders are open until the end of the month on the ko-fi

[rupurteblr]

i call this one “using tumblr as a person of color”

might update with more images at some point

[heartnosekid]

sweetratsofmine on ig

[cloudabserk]

when men are like “women need to be nicer and more complimentary to men” i CRINGE! why don’t MEN get more complimentary to men. start telling your friends you want to fuck them. don’t make women pick up YOUR slack

[cloudabserk]

people are commenting like “yeah we need to support healthy friendships and boost men’s self esteem” i don’t care about that tbh i just think everyone should be gayer

[lakemojave]

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

[iamoutofideas]

no 🛩️

[transmechanicus]

anotha one🛩️

[valtsv]

this is like basic foundational misogyny 101 but the fact that it's almost unconsciously ingrained to consider trousers a more "practical" alternative to skirts across the majority of human cultures does make me feel a little kicked in the head. this isn't even anything against pants, it's just that skirts are functionally not dissimilar at all. they're comfortable, capable of being tailored to suit a variety of purposes both aesthetic and functional, and simply what some people prefer. and yet, because they're so strongly tied to women and femininity, they're derided. a long skirt is an impediment; shortening a skirt is a sexual act. throughout history humans of all demographics have worn skirts and skirt-like clothing for a variety of purposes, but to wear a skirt in our enlightened modern age is a heavily gendered and politically loaded notion. and we just tolerate living like this. fucking unreal.

[valtsv]

🚬 yeah.

[xenasaur]

we talk about how cis people are just handed a gender and accept it without thought but I think what we fail to mention is that the same happens with sexuality

[xenasaur]

this extends beyond the bounds of simple heterosexuality. it's also about being told that you enjoy skinny white cis women with button noses and straight hair and no stretch marks and no cellulite etc. lotta gay people never let go of that one!

[annakarenina]

@creatorsofcolornet​ event 16: style swap ☯ @lightkeykid​ (insp)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you. 

[thememedaddy]

[seinfeldr]

[tall]

[zukkaoru]

[ID: a pale photo of the sun glinting on water, with two colorful fish superimposed at the bottom. text over it reads "they should make a sleep that makes you feel like you've slept". End ID]

[beadyeyes]

Let's fucking grab this Wednesday by the nothing