WTF @evvywevvy - Tumblr Blog

sometimes I feel like the only person who follows the speed limit, but then I check my rearview mirror and it warms my heart to see so many other people following it too

#speed limit #driving #cars #car brain

so-much-for-subtlety

#cats #aliens

slab-o-meat

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

slab-o-meat

i was on. a new sleep medication last night

#crabs

thevaultoftheatomicspaceage

syzygynephile

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

invertebrateinvert

as a teen my father installed monitoring software one day on the family computers. he was always a lot more computer savvy than me so I knew I couldn't get around him that way, so what I did instead was just keep looking at vore porn Knowing that he would be way too awkward to bring it up with me. about a week later he announced he'd had a change of heart and removed the software

jame7t

My dark quest for a bite to eat

jame7t

They’re stealing my shit

#tumblr

boringkate

But if it was a GIRL hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holla at me then I might feel differently...

laurawful

pleased with how My tits fully bounce when I go down the stairs without a bra on

allcops

“The police spend very little of their time dealing with violent criminals—indeed, police sociologists report that only about 10% of the average police officer’s time is devoted to criminal matters of any kind. Most of the remaining 90% is spent dealing with infractions of various administrative codes and regulations: all those rules about how and where one can eat, drink, smoke, sell, sit, walk, and drive. If two people punch each other, or even draw a knife on each other, police are unlikely to get involved. Drive down the street in a car without license plates, on the other hand, and the authorities will show up instantly, threatening all sorts of dire consequences if you don’t do exactly what they tell you. The police, then, are essentially just bureaucrats with weapons. Their main role in society is to bring the threat of physical force—even, death—into situations where it would never have been otherwise invoked, such as the enforcement of civic ordinances about the sale of untaxed cigarettes.”

— An excerpt from Ferguson & the Criminalization of American Life by David Graeber (via actjustly)

noneedtofearorhope

since i think many will have had the memory slip with just how many other atrocities have occured in the past 11 years, or are simply too young to remember, the last bit about the sale of untaxed cigarettes isn’t just some hypothetical, it’s a reference to the killing of eric garner