[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[skittyminecraft]

x

[arabella-ardor]

[faggotjonesss]

[capitulouno]

[texasbama]

Exactly Megan 😭😭😂😂😂

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[spelldealer]

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant

[ewwa4]

m4rinella > ewwa4 by the way :)

[ewwa4]

happy pride! my coworker who's a young 22 year old poly lad is inviting me out to the church st clubs and dungeons for Pride with his partner, while i'm inviting them to the 30th anniversary screening of the Watermelon Woman at the revue. we're friends!

[hudkarma]

via Aika Flores on Instagram

[urie]

[yanguang]

[urie]

There is a pangolin in there

[gaysie]

guys don’t come out as bisexual anymore they just see CRANK by slayyyter playing on the tv and say Quick take my picture

[nightquills]

ilya would be having a bit of a crash out over the pacific marine mammal center naming a rescued sea lion after his husband.

firstly, why does shane get an animal named after him but ilya doesn't? this is a cosmic injustice. they need to name one after him immediately so that sea lion hollander has a rozanov and isn't lonely so that the best men's hockey player is properly represented!!!

secondly, sea lion hollander is so small. criminally tiny. ilya is very proud of his big hockey player husband, thank you. they couldn't have picked a more size-accurate animal to name after him? (though admittedly the big brown teary eyes are fitting. he will give them that.)

and THIRDLY, why did they name a hurt baby after shane when there is a possibility she might not make it through surgery? what kind of fucking emotional manipulation is this? if sea lion hollander dies, there will be hell to pay. (ilya is donating a frankly absurd amount of money to the rescue. he is urging the centaur front office to send all the workers there hollander merchandise. he is publicly yelling at people to not leave their fish hooks in the ocean on social media.)

[nightquills]

@phruit-salad, your tags!!!

#some gen z hockey fan intern at an animal charity realises you can fund basically anything if you name it hollander #bc rozanov will backflip through the window to pay for any and all medical expenses to keep a sad wet animal named after his husband alive #so far the ottowa humane society has saved 18 dogs called hollander or shane #all bc ilya sends them check every month with “for shane” written on them in shockingly bad handwriting

ilya is so personally invested in every single one of these sad wet animals. he's following along with their stories, he is asking the organizations for updates when they haven't posted about His Shane in a few days, he is celebrating each release or adoption where applicable. he's got a whole folder on his phone for photos of each of them.

meanwhile, shane is seeing the withdrawals on their shared bank statements like

[nightquills]

the real sea lion hollander is all better, and she has been released back into the wild!

[gayhockeyshow]

Hudson by Aika Flores

[brilliantpines]

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

[brilliantpines]

is anybody out there

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

[hilarynights]

Ready, Steady, Go! // Hollanov

[bugslibraryy]

Wait edit of all fucking time

[sludgebitch]

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[ilyapasta]

Assorted free-range headcanons about Hollanov at 45-55 years old:

Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.

One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.

Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.

Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.

Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.

Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition

New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking

Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.

Add your ownnnnn

[darlingofdots]

there's a theragun in every room of the house and trying to unfuck their various Busted Ass Issues becomes just another step in sex prep

Shane is terrorising the local birdwatching community

Ilya is personally if inadvertently responsible for at least four divorces among his kid's schoolmate's parents

every time they attend a Centaurs game they end up on kiss cam (which isn't even a THING Shane is convinced they do this just to fuck with him) and they always pretend to be reluctant and roll their eyes and oh, fine, if you insist *smooch* *deafening cheers*

they're not really famous anymore anywhere EXCEPT Ottawa, where they're very famous but everybody's kind of agreed to be chill about it and also now that they ACTUALLY have time to spare they're just like, doing stuff. so you get an excited insta post from somebody new in town like omg i think i just saw shane hollander at tim horton's??? and the comments are all "dude obviously he always gets a coffee and a box of timbits thursday afternoon, where else would he be"