“All right, did you forget the part about the family-murdering axe-murderer?”
“Come on, no one died, alright? Look, there may have been some maiming, okay? A little mangling, but no death! That’s what I call an important distinction.”
“Come over to my place at nine. Plan on staying the night. I like to cuddle.”
“Do you have any idea how bad you look? You’re like one giant open wound.”
“Does anybody else want to rethink the plan where we just, uh, kill ‘em?”
“Everyone should have a dream! Even a pathetically unrealistic one.”
“I can’t believe I got my ass thrown in a vault for three months for you.”
“I don’t want to kill your optimism or anything, but both of us have been trying to do the same thing for hours.”
“I heard there was a party. Don’t worry, I invited myself.”
“I honestly thought I would never have to burden you like this, but you’re my only hope. I’m going to be taken. I need you to find me.”
“I just killed your family. Do you want to die like them? Begging for your life? Or, do you want to fight? I’ll give you some help. Wrap a towel around your fist. Smash the mirror. Use one of the shards to defend yourself. Go ahead, I’m waiting.”
“I love you. So, if you need to do that thing where we talk about me, and pretend like we’re not actually talking about you, it’s totally fine.”
“I was gonna wait for dramatic flare, but when you look this good, why wait?”
“I’m always terrified. I-I act like I know what I’m doing, but I don’t.”
“I’m not angry. You know I’m gonna have to find a way to punish you though.”
“I’m not asking you to save just my life. I’m asking you to save everyone they’ll ever hurt again.”
“I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?”
“If you already have all the information, what do you want from me?”
“If you lied and it gets people hurt, I’ll be back to take away more than your pain.”
“In preparation of some big changes, I’ve decided to drop some of the dead weight in my life, and you’re just about the deadest.”
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s perfect. I’m in the arms of my first love. The first person I ever loved. The person I’ll always love. I love you.”
“My grandmother can move faster than that, and she’s dead. Do you think you can move faster than the lifeless corpse of my dead grandmother?”
“Oh no, I’m not doing that again. You find the dead body from now on.”
“The full moon is coming, and with the way things are going, I have a feeling it’s gonna be a rough one.”
“The only one who’s shown any interest in me is a rabid coyote.”
“The problem is the people I need to talk to right now don’t talk to people like you.”
“This new-found heroism is making me very attracted to you. You wanna just make out a little bit? Just to see how it feels?”
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
“Try putting the highlighter down between paragraphs. It’s chemistry, not a coloring book.”
“We don’t go out in the middle of the night murdering people, do we?”
“We protect those who cannot protect themselves.”
“We’re just a bunch of teenagers. We can’t handle this.”
“What am I supposed to do with the hordes gathering outside the door?”
“Why’s it starting to feel like you’re Batman and I’m Robin? I don’t wanna be Robin all the time!”
“Yeah, well, you being happy isn’t really a big priority of mine, since you stabbed me twenty times with knives.”
“You seriously need to find something better than a baseball bat.”
“You’re just a bunch of stupid teenagers running around, thinking you can stop people from getting killed. But, all you do is show up late.”
