you’re not flawed darling, just a little under-rehearsed

dino ★ they/them

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[pixelwithmultiplecolorssomehow]

ID: Screenshot of user tim-alienguy's comment that reads 'I always imagine it as someone saying “one” and then pausing and turning to the camera holding a single finger out, before continuing like nothing ever happened'.

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[transgenderwaterrat]

anyway hoping that the generative AI bubble pops so disastrously that the tech industry becomes allergic to anything involving it for the next 1,000 years

[backtraf]

Sadeas on his way to Urithiru when he runs into Adolin.

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

when will they establish that "james bond" is like an intergalactic slug that possesses random british men every 5 to 15 years and uses its collected life experiences to go on spy adventures

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Iconic sexy spy dude looks like this

[extinctdinosnores]

I fear I’m crushinggggg

[minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt]

sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me

[f0restnympho420]

was trimming ye olde bush in the shower and i kind of fucked up and now it just looks like i tried to give my pussy a taper fade

[azuremist]

I DESPERATELY needed someone to tell me this as I grew up in leftist online spaces. So now I am going to tell YOU:

If you

Check what you sent over and over to make sure you didn’t say a slur instead of “hello how are you”

Fear that someone will find you thinking not-leftist-enough thoughts and will call you out and ruin you

Feel you have to make your intentions clear and over-explain your actions

Find yourself consistently resisting the urge to engage in reassurance-seeking WRT being a good enough ally to marginalized people

Stay up late endlessly debating political ethics in your head

Have a set of actions that you take after discovering you made a morally wrong decision so that you can atone, which you rely on for reassurance that you are not a bad person

Would rather not make a decision at all than make a decision that is the lesser of two evils, but is not morally pure

then I am gently, but firmly, requesting that you look into moral scrupulosity OCD.

[desolationlesbian]

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

[desolationlesbian]

her shows

[mevil]

[extinctdinosnores]

youth is for bad decisions. and buddy, I’m making them

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[rathayibacter]

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

[ransomnote]

every fleetwood mac documentary i've ever watched is like "the band was at the height of their success, enjoying the fame rolling in from their #1 hit 'i know about the other woman, lindsey'. however, nobody could have sensed the tension brewing between members."

[ransomnote]

"the group initially disbanded immediately after the release of the single 'well get the fuck out if you're going to be like that', leaving thousands of fans shocked."

[rinnegami]

[curiosity-killed]

There are truly very few forces in the world as strong as the inertia of staying up way too late doing fuckall