Oh hello there @exwinnipegger - Tumblr Blog

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

phoenix-theurge

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

dirty-noona

As a Native Hawaiian, 1) I thought this happened everywhere, 2) ofc we can levitate coconut milk

intactics

clone some of your own cells and revert them to stem cells in a petri dish because you're a wealthy man trying to cure your weird autoimmune disorder

to announce the project, tell everybody This

anarchistmemedistro

feel like the headlines are sleeping on “become my own blood boy”

exwinnipegger

Considering he’s been using his son as a blood boy, I feel this is a step up for Bryan

what-even-is-thiss

I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it

what-even-is-thiss

Elf: How have you kept this castle maintained for a thousand years if your lives are so short?

Human: We just train new people how to do it?

Elf: *gears visibly turning in their head*

Human: Are you alright?

Elf: I just realized that we didn’t have to let that whole city fall to ruin just because my grandfather died.

Human: What?

what-even-is-thiss

Human: Wait that’s why there’s ruins of elven cities even though you live for so long? You just keep not asking people how to do things? How do you learn anything?

Elf: There’s a lot of “you’ve got time to figure it out on your own” attitudes floating around in our society that I’m starting to question somewhat.

unassimilatedsoul

Elf: That sword, where did you get it?

Human: My cousin made it.

Elf: Impossible! Those metalworking techniques were lost a hundred years ago!

Human: What do you mean lost? My great-grandmother learned to make these swords from an elven smith, then taught it to her kids.

Elf: That's ridiculous. No elf would give such secrets to a human.

Human: They didn't. Meemaw delivered the metal to the forge, and no one kicked her out when she stayed and watched. She always said they barely acknowledged her even when doing business with her, like she wasn't worth noticing.

Elf: Come to think of it, my great-uncle always was rather single-minded when he started working.

Human: So he wasn't ignoring her, he just forgot she was there?

Elf: Oh, he was definitely ignoring her, too. He was super racist.

torturelabyrinth

i found the absolute hottest take of 2017

hyumjim

NO

blackshuckofficial-deactivated2

Me: feeds my hermit crabs bc I enjoy the hobby of their husbandry

Someone who got all their feminist theory from Tumblr: actually you’re doing that because of the patriarchy and it’s unpaid emotional labor :/ liberate yourself :/

pangur-and-grim

@whomever tf wrote that text, I’m truly sorry that your cats don’t love you

meow-of-cathulhu

It’s now problematic.. to like cats…?

the-golden-ghost

I read the article and apparently this person genuinely thinks cats have the foresight and mental capacity to manipulate people?

aerialsquid

We love cats because we understand something doesn’t need to obey us to love us. If we’re going to go all feminist about the situation.

warriorxena

THE WEST WING | 1.01 'PILOT' | 09.22.99 Richard Schiff as Toby Ziegler Bradley Whitford as Josh Lyman Martin Sheen as Josiah Bartlet

#what a way to start a show I tell ya #tww

hateusandseeifwemind

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians

#big if true

nateconnolly

These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"

And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"

#as they should #if you had handed me unicorn princess magic wand at age 6 #I would have said the same thing

whitepeopletwitter

nynehells

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

weevil-mastermind

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.