Faemon @faemon - Tumblr Blog

Another wonderfull secret

Making a wasp photo study and I can't get over how freaking Beautiful bug's are, the way their plates lock in together, the geometry of it, the fine-tuned propositions, so delicate yet sturdy. aahhh

smugpugchimera

cutes

phantomqueen

my storytelling final! or, that week i almost went blind cross-hatching!

it’s a couple weeks old at this point, but i’m still proud of it (all that cross-hatching…) even though looking back at it now i can see a ton of flaws or things i just could’ve done better. maybe i’ll redo it one day.

the page colors are kind of wonky because they’re photographs; i didn’t have a scanner big enough for the pages.

hell yeah monster/human friendships

grungekitty-77

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

grungekitty-77

Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!

dovahbeat

Adding my 2 cents worth that I learned from my time in DBT.

Guilt and shame are NOT the same emotion!

Theyre very similar, but theres a key difference. Guilt comes from an internal source and shame external.

What do I mean? Well, when you feel guilt, its because you've betrayed your own morals. Youve done something you view as bad, and you feel guilty for defying your own moral code.

Shame, however, is external and comes from our individual societies, and has nothing to do with moral codes (in the way guilt does). Shame comes from how OTHERS perceive you. You go to school, and wet yourself, you feel shame because the other kids point and laugh, they think less of you now. You may know it was an accident, and accidents happen, and thats okay! But because other people now think less of you for it, you feel bad.

Not taking away the points of OP, i still agree, just think it might be useful to distinguish between the two emotions because they are not the same.

the-haiku-bot

Adding my 2 cents

worth that I learned from my

time in DBT.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

fidelcostco

WAIT HOLD ON I cannot fucking believe when I was like four years old my parents were cajoling me to walk with the family and trying to get me to keep up even though I kept insisting that I was "tired" until they took me to a doctor and found out my LUNGS DIDN'T WORK. how insane that we live in a world where reasonably loving parents think their FOUR YEAR OLD is trying to be LAZY. like they were mortified to be clear. adults are just so trained to ignore children's complaints as untrustworthy, kids just need discipline, they can't possibly speak for themselves. what the fuuuuck.

fidelcostco

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE BTW you should always be trying to take children seriously, especially very little ones but definitely all of them. the most disempowered class basically legally defined as property and most people are like "yeah that's good actually I hate when they Loiter lol they're stupid and loud and i actually think children should stop existing. restrict their personhood more actually"

amvs

ppl who don’t make an effort to listen to their partner(s) abt their interests bc they “don’t like it” scare me

amvs

exactly. it’s not about whether you like it or understand it. it’s about sharing their joy and learning about who they are.

amvs

Real and true

itshype

Quick question. When someone asks what age you were in a certain year do you give the age that you were before or after your birthday that year?

Do you give the younger or older of the two ages you were that year?

I give the younger (age before your birthday in a given calendar year)

I give the older (age after your birthday in a given calendar year)

Voting ended onMay 15

#technically older #but just cause i usually say “i turned [x age] that year”

shelteringyourdna-deactivated20

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

shelteringyourdna-deactivated20

do not 10k me stop that

ebonyheartnet

*clicks reblog* your old friend, the conses of your quences, sends their regards

yellow-cat

abandon shame. theres more interesting emotions to be felt

yellow-cat

unless its getting you off. in that case keep going

flyin-shark

wizard-council-bureaucrat

“This is for your own good!!”

*I say as I pinch your nose shut and pour the bubbling and ghoulish potion down your wailing maw*

trash-alt

let me be the first to usher this post into the Horny Side of Tumblr 😂

wizard-council-bureaucrat

seven reblogs in?!

wizard-of-interesting-failure

That is a little slow, yeah. Hopefully the bubbling and ghoulish potion perks them up a bit.

yardsards

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

fizzlepop-frog

“but I stay silly!”

sensiblereblogifposts

Reblog you stay silly

weaselle

on it boss

joy-and-whimsy-official

Joy and whimsy detected. This post is joyful and whimsical. I guess

escuerzoresucitado

asskylosaurus

You know I turned on the sound just to help me understand what was going on and I guess it was exactly what it looked like.

geeoharee

Ooh! Spot the industrial safety device! The worker has to press a 'stab the cheese' button with both hands. This is because if they're doing that, neither of their hands can be within the cheese stabbing zone.