ragatha's insecurities, which prevent her from properly forming supportive connections with her peers, are mostly centered around a need to be liked. this manifests:
1, in trying not to be too Much, trying to be inoffensive, to be palatable.
2, in trying to downplay her own suffering, make her pain inconsequential, not inconvenient.
and 3, importantly, in trying to make those around her feel as elevated as possible, make it clear she thinks so highly of them, make it clear she doesn't think they're equals.
jax's insecurities, which prevent him from properly forming supportive connections with his peers, are mostly centered around a fear of caring. this manifests:
1, in being brash, overbearing, pushing others away, making it clear as day just how little he needs other people.
2, in elevating his own sense of joy, his finding things funny, his enjoying the adventures, above the well being of everyone else.
and 3, importantly, in putting those around him down, making it clear he's better than them in every way, making it clear he doesn't think they're equals.
their issues are all tied to an unhealthy ideal of femininity, of masculinity. women are small, women are unobjectionable, women are caretakers. it's unbecoming of a woman to like herself, to put herself first. men are strong, men are destructive, men are entitled to the world. it's unbecoming of a man to care for others, to consider them.
but these things are not inherent to them, not at all! these are all things they were taught growing up, by a world that punishes you if your gender doesn't come naturally. boys are taught they dislike femininity because girls are inferior, not because they're jealous. girls are taught they like masculinity because boys are superior, not because they desire it for themselves.
only when ragatha and jax break free of these performances, these twisted webs of insecurity and maladaptive behavior they think of as 'gender', can they begin to break free of their patterns, to grow as people.
in this way, it's not that transitioning would Save either of them per se, but rather that beginning the act of transition would be inherently indicative of a break down of internal restrictions, and personal growth towards a more healthy mindset both directed inwards and outwardly, that they would have to have saved themselves to ever reach that point.
i bet they can do it with pomni's help
