An Essay.
Silent panic attacks were a normal classroom occurrence. As an art teacher I witnessed the striking trend of students crippled by anxiety and the fear of making mistakes. I spoke to them about freedom to play, of no answers being wrong and assured them they weren’t going to be graded. Instead of relaxing, my students would go pale and rigid as they concealed their panic attacks. I’m not exaggerating. These middle class Melbournian kids were traumatised. I was desperate to help them, so, in 2014 I set out to find the remedy for creative anxiety… What I eventually discovered was the cause.
In this article: (6 minute read)
The two types of anxiety remedies on the market The upside and downside of both approaches Why some remedies work in certain situation and not in others The diagnostic tools that identifies the right or wrong remedy A look at the flawed design of our educations systems and work cultures The changes needed for a sustainable solution
In six years of gathering and experimenting with resilience tools and anxiety remedies, two competing bodies of work emerged. The first is what I call a masculine approach, centered around the power of the mind and taking action. In contrast, the other body of work that emerged from my research is what I call a feminine approach, centered around the power of the body and reflection. Both approaches share the same goal but their methods are polar opposite.
Masculine practices use the findings of positive psychology and the entrepreneurial mindset to essentially ‘stack dopamine’. Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter, known as ‘the feel good hormone’, that we experience when we achieve a goal. It’s great for building a sense of momentum which is invaluable for transcending resistance and learnt helplessness.
The downside of this masculine approach is that relying on dopamine production is firstly addictive and secondly unsustainable. There is only so much dopamine we can produce and action we can take until we reach a point of adrenal fatigue, better known as burnout.
A feminine approach, on the other hand, calls on the findings of ancient practices such as yoga and buddhism which have inspired studies into fields like self-compassion and polyvagal theory. These practices work with the power of the body and the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system to produce oxytocin. Oxytocin or ‘the love hormone’ helps us to rest deeply, to trust and to feel unconditionally accepted and supported - which are crucial ingredients for weathering the storms of uncertainty.
The downside to this heart-centered approach is that reflection is an internal process for integrating our experiences, if we spend too much time in this internal process we become inactive, avoiding the external struggles needed to build resilience. Avoiding struggles ultimately makes us fragile and lethargic.
While both approaches offer great insights and powerful practices, neither offers a sustainable approach to overcoming creative anxiety. Whether its burnout or lethargy, the final destination is debilitating. I couldn’t understand why no one was having this conversation so I dug deeper. The last few years of my research have focused on understanding why certain remedies work in certain situations and not in others, which has revealed that resistance itself can be expressed in a masculine way or a feminine way.
Masculine resistance is rooted in an inability to trust the self or the internal experience, I refer to this resistance as self-doubt. While feminine resistance on the other hand is rooted in an inability to trust the process or the external experience, an affliction I refer to as self-pity. Internal trust versus external trust, as you can see the polarity continues.
Masculine resistance or self-doubt seeks to control the external world by either shifting the goal posts of the challenge closer within reach to orchestrate easy wins, or shifting them further away to guarantee success through perfectionism and overachieving. Examples of masculine resistance include playing small, giving up, over-planning, overthinking or overworking - behaviours look like anxiousness.
Feminine resistance or self-pity seeks to control the internal world by creating a safe distance between the person and the process, this looks like putting up walls of protection or pointing the finger at something external as a way of separating the person from the required activity. Examples of feminine resistance include procrastination, rejection, blame, excuses and martyrdom - behaviours that look similar to depression.
When self-doubt first strikes it’s a signal from our body to exert energy, a healthier way to do this is with the use of masculine self-belief practices. If the self-doubt continues and becomes chronic, in order to restore balance an opposite exercise from the feminine self-compassion toolkit is needed.
When self-pity first appears it’s a signal to conserve energy, the healthiest way to do this is with the use of feminine self-compassion practices. If self-pity is not transformed into self-compassion and continues to the point of chronic self-pity, then the opposite is needed and balance can be restored with the use a masculine self-belief exercise.
These insights have allowed me to develop a diagnostic tool called ‘Triage Your Worries’. This tool quickly and precisely identifies the limiting belief driving the problematic behaviour and which category it falls under, masculine self-doubt or feminine self-pity. By identifying which type of behaviour a person is experiencing will also tell them which type of remedies to engage with and which ones to avoid.
For example, if a student is experiencing chronic procrastination which is classified as self-pity or an excess of feminine reflective energy, then a feminine practice such as stillness has the potential to throw them further off balance. In this case a masculine practice designed to elicit dopamine such as a positive reframing exercise would be more effective for getting them unstuck.
The same is true for a student with chronic overthinking which is classified as self-doubt or an excess of masculine action taking energy. An action oriented masculine practice, such as a positive reframing exercise, is likely to drive even more anxious activity and take this frantic student into the burnout-zone. In this case a reflective feminine practice designed to produce an oxytocin hit, such as a stillness exercise, will bring them back into balance.
While teaching healthy coping strategies for resistance is a key part of the work I share, it is no longer the end goal. When my research deepened to investigate the relationship between the masculine and feminine facets of our experience, within these polar opposite states lay the clue to the underlying problem.
Everything in nature is created by and consists of two polar opposite expressions. Meaning all living things gradually shift from one state to the opposite state and it’s this rhythmic cycle from extreme to extreme that keeps all living things healthy. Just as summer must turn to winter, day into night, humans need to experience both ‘action’ and ‘reflection’. It can be labeled ‘give’ and ‘take’, ‘doing’ and ‘being’ or ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’. The label we choose does not matter. All that matters is that IF our systems do not respect this natural cycle of polarity - our health will decline as a result.
If a habitat is stripped of its natural biodiversity and dominated by one type of plant there are terrible flow-on effects for the entire ecosystem, in the same way, our education systems and work cultures are making us sick due to their lopsided design. Generally speaking, these systems celebrate action while rejecting reflection. Examples of reflection, rest or ‘being’ in schools or workplaces are few and far between. The flow-on effects of a system that only values action, not only creates a panic culture or burnout culture, but a culture that deregulates the health of all humans who spend time in its presence.
It’s unhealthy to prioritise one state over the other because both states are interrelated. Deep reflection is the key to concise action taking, the kind of action that isn’t full of silly mistakes or just keeping us busy with no return on investment for our effort. Similarly, vigorous action is the predecessor for deep rest, true rest, not the fake rest we get scrolling our devices and overloading our brains with blue light and content consumption. Once we exert ourselves it becomes easier to still our minds and soak up the benefits of our restorative practices. We cannot undermine one state without undermining the other, the ‘whole’ inevitably suffers as a result.
The goal of my work today is not just to guide people on how to restore their balance when the systems they live and breathe deregulates them, my goal is to help people to see that their ‘problematic’ behaviours like procrastination, playing small or overthinking are not ‘the problem’. These behaviours are in fact healthy responses to unhealthy systems.
Healthy systems produce healthy people and unhealthy systems produce unhealthy people. The reason so many students are exhibiting self sabotaging behaviours such as self-doubt or self-pity is because these systems are sabotaging our students. Not only do the lopsided values of the education system deregulate its students, it disempowers them further by denying any responsibility. Instead of fixing systems, we fix people. The well intentioned mental health movement with its wellness courses and resilience trainings are, in the long run, protecting toxic systems by pointing the finger at the canaries instead of the coal mine.
I am guilty of staying on the surface and looking for the quick fix, that’s how all of this began, but now I see that seeking short term relief from anxiety is causing more harm than good. I no longer wish to put out work and resources that reinforce the idea that some people are broken and they require an external force to fix them.
We CAN trust the intelligence of our bodies and the signals it sends to let us know our environment is toxic, signals in the form of procrastination, playing small or overworking. Imagine the progress that could be made if we treated these behaviours like the environmental red flags that they are. Learning to meet these behaviours with reverence is the first step towards healing.
Author Bio: Buzzy Lewis is the creator of the Failure Friendly Mindset, a tool for establishing healthy relationships with the creative process. Healthy creativity allows creators to be more productive, grow their confidence and find joy in the creative process. Becoming Failure Friendly is a practice Buzzy explores in her book ‘Being Creative’ and ‘Failure Friendly Action Cards’. Buzzy is available for talks and workshops for schools, workplaces and professional development sessions. Please send enquiries to [email protected]