The 72-year-old British actor also had roles in shows including Merlin and Little Britain.
British actor Anthony Head, best known for his roles in TV shows including Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ted Lasso, Merlin and Little Britain, has died at the age of 72.
Head found international fame as Rupert Giles in hit supernatural teen show Buffy in the late 1990s. He went on to have a recurring role in sketch show Little Britain, play king Uther Pendragon in the BBC's Merlin, and appear as former football club owner Rupert Mannion in Ted Lasso.
"He passed away peacefully of complications due to pneumonia, surrounded by his family," his daughters Emily and Daisy said. His daughters' statement said "it is with heavy hearts that we announce the death of our extraordinary father".
They added: "It has been, and forever will be, an honour and a privilege to be his daughters, and to have witnessed firsthand the impact both he and his work have had on so many."
They also said they knew "how dearly he will be missed by friends, colleagues and fans of the show he was in", adding that he "loved his job very much" and "always considered himself incredibly lucky".
His family acknowledged that "his legacy will live on" and said they considered themselves "lucky" to have watched him doing what he loved throughout his career.
Head's other credits included The Iron Lady, Persuasion, The Inbetweeners and Manchild.
Rest in peace our Watcher, our King, our Night Surgeon. I may have not seen much of your work, but you were brilliant in what I did see. Thank you and farwell Anthony Head.
cannot read maps. not “bad at navigation” i mean he looks at a map and somehow becomes less aware of where he is
knows like. seventeen drinking songs in dead languages and half of them are technically war chants
unironically better with traumatized children than most adults in camelot because he actually listens when people speak
steals jewelry not for money but because he likes shiny things. crow behavior. arthur hates this
piggybacking the former, owns multiple earrings he absolutely stole off corpses but in a respectful way somehow
has stolen back his own belongings from himself after forgetting he was the original thief
is the only knight who could survive a peasant uprising because the peasants would go “oh no that one’s ours actually”
has chronic shoulder pain from old injuries and just refuses to acknowledge it exists
he’s actually very good at court politics when he chooses to engage with them, he just hates the performance aspect of nobility so much that he acts unserious on purpose
genuinely believes near-death experiences are a valid form of enrichment
once flirted with a bandit during a robbery and accidentally joined their gang for a week
there is no evidence he knows his own birthday
survives poisoning mainly because his bloodstream has become chemically incompatible with mortality
the knights stopped asking follow-up questions after the “bear incident”
gwaine absolutely has a hair routine that would make court ladies homicidal because it’s more elaborate than theirs and he refuses to admit it
lets people think he wakes up looking like that naturally because the truth — that he braids his hair before sleep to preserve texture — would ruin his entire image
refuses to use cheap soap because “that shit strips the hair”
instinctively positions himself facing exits in every room without noticing he’s doing it
learned how to dance from tavern girls and old soldiers instead of nobles so his style is technically incorrect and devastatingly attractive
is weirdly good at comforting drunk people having breakdowns
gets attached to animals immediately and feeds them scraps under the table
deeply, deeply uncomfortable with being taken care of when sick
probably learned music badly but passionately. like he can play maybe four songs on a lute and all of them sound very bad
arthur thinks gwaine has no sense of self-preservation but the truth is worse: he values other people’s lives more than his own
if he trusts someone enough he starts stealing their food instead of flirting with them. this is how you know the relationship is progressing
knows how to pick locks, mend clothes, cheat at cards, remove blood stains, treat hypothermia and thinks this is a perfectly normal skillset
has a habit of touching the pommel of his sword when anxious like other people fidget with rings
once spent an entire night talking a terrified young knight through his first kill and never mentioned it again afterward
cannot stand hearing rich people romanticize poverty. goes visibly cold about it
can tell exactly how drunk someone is by eye contact alone
acts like authority means nothing to him but still unconsciously straightens up around genuinely honorable people because some part of him still wants to believe in knights
a character who truly, legitimately goes “but why does that matter?” about their feelings when someone who cares about them asks. and the sudden falling of everyone around them’s faces as they realize that this person doesn’t recognize themself as someone who needs or should be taken care of. i want Everyone to hurt. surprise at the idea, worry for them, horror at not having noticed. do you see this person who doesn’t think of themselves as a person?
Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics. Tagged by @the-forbidden-forest, i.e. @aemelia in Harry Potter drag.
The Book of Merthur:
There were on that day (a Tuesday) two things of especial note: the first was the occurrence of a murder, and the second was the absence of a murder.
As-yet-untitled sequel to All Things Loved and Lovesick:
Diggy the Golden Retriever was one of those fine, upstanding gentlemen for whom the word ‘chap’ was invented; and Merlin was gravely sorry to do him such a grievous wrong.
For Naught Daunts Love While It Will:
On a pleasant day, when the heath is the colour of spring, and the trees in the sun are home to no worse murderer than a squirrel, an empty wood is a kind of haven.
The Fools Will Be Still Fools:
Waverley Station, not to put too fine a point on it, was the most wretched hive of scum and villainy ever to be stolen by the British Empire; though possibly this was because Edinburgh had rained on Arthur, rather prodigiously, whilst he was legging it for the station; possibly because he had been woken, at the hour of No, to catch a train into Scotland; and possibly because he was carrying everything which Morgana owned, over every limb he owned; and consequently hated everyone.
All Things Loved and Lovesick:
The Dales in the morning light were ethereal. Less ethereal was the flat tyre which Merlin received, courtesy of a nail which some berk had jettisoned from their flatbed and left in the road for such innocent recipients as a man barreling along at the speed of It’s a Bloody Nice Day, and singing accompaniment to Lady Gaga.
Prick Love for Pricking:
It was a perfectly fair Tuesday, of middling rain; a not unremarkable accomplishment for October. Arthur, in the middle of some chips and pleasantish conversation (he was chatting with Gwen, but also Morgana: and hence the qualifying ‘ish’) did not expect there to be any interruption to what was that comfortable mundanity of being, though possibly he ought to have suspected it, since he was in the regular company of a number of deranged (Merlin), and openly insane (Morgana) hair-raisers (Gwaine); and they did not like such banalities as sanity.
Though Love Like Light Can Flee:
Merlin was a morning person by circumstance, rather than design; and usually the circumstance was that he had a big, fat-headed prat of a friend standing outside his bedroom door at Arse O’Clock, banging on it and yelling, “Get up, you lazy sod! We’re going for a run.” This was happening to him now. He had left the kingdom of dreamers, for the demesne of men; though the word ‘left’ implies there was some tenderness to it, or element of choice, when really what had happened was that Arthur’s voice had taken him out of it like a bucket of cold water takes a man out of his thermoregulation.
And Time and the World Are Ever in Flight:
Because folklore has a right to a certain poetical flair, it is stated, many times over, by many various people, that the Once and Future King shall rise again: and there is a certain implication of glamour, as if he were going to come in as he had gone out, wielding a very large sword, under a very heroic banner. People in folklore are rather more grandiose than real ones, because no one really likes to read, in a nice little book of fairies, about how a great king might actually go about getting himself out of his tomb, which was what the lake was.
And None But Fools:
There were two methods by which Merlin entered Arthur’s flat, neatly divided according to the following categories: whether he had forgot his key, or whether he had remembered it. The former he solved by pounding at the door, and yelling, “Open up, you posh prick!”, as if he intended to arrest Arthur for being rich; and in the happy circumstance of the latter, he used the key in the way which he saw as his natural right: which is to say, whenever he liked, with no announcement whatsoever, except for the one which he made upon barging inside: “Too fancy to open your own damn door?”
And Down the River's Dim Expanse:
We shan’t start with a drowning, since that is a nasty affair, but rather the moment of transfiguration, when the soul walks out of the drear old form.
Various theologians will tell you this or that, that it goes up or comes down depending upon if it has eaten its vegetables or masturbated or fucked the neighbours’ wife; but who can say, really, of what great stuff it is made, whether it is a thing, or whether it is a who; and where it is bound and of what it is deserving is for luminous minds to punch one another about.
Tagging: @the-pen-pot @thesongistheriver @kirythestitchwitch and anyone else who has enough fics and wants to do this.
Rewatching Merlin now that I’m older is kind of fascinating because it’s easier to pick apart the narratives the show pushes so heavily. I keep coming back to the idea that it’s a story where the protagonists are unknowingly fighting on the side of something harmful. When it comes to the persecution of innocent magic users, Merlin and Arthur are really not the good guys.
But because they’re framed as the heroes and the audience follows their perspective, you naturally root for them anyway, even while the show openly presents Uther as the villain. It creates this really interesting disconnect where the morality of the world feels a lot murkier than the narrative itself wants to admit.
Even after Arthur takes the crown, not much changes for sorcerers. He may be not be a tyrant, but at the end of the day, magic remained illegal under his reign, which means the system itself largely remained unchanged.
That’s why the conflict with Morgana and her allies never truly went away. From the magic users' perspective, the core issue was never resolved. Morgana's goal (despite her underhanded methods) was simple: she wanted magic users to be able to live and practice openly without fear.
Arthur never moved away from his opposition to sorcery, in no small part thanks to Merlin, who had a few moments in the show to either come out with his magic (1x10), let Arthur find out the truth about his mother and thus lift the magical ban as king (2x08), or even agree that magic wasn't that bad (5x05). He never did, in fear of losing his life (but really it was losing his relationship [the respect, the usual comradery] with Arthur) or else hurting Arthur emotionally. That's how deeply Merlin loved Arthur.
At the end of the day, most violence inflicted by magic users can be traced back to the persecution being inflicted on them. Historically, oppressed peoples eventually revolt against their mistreatment/genocide if they're able. They aren't evil, just a hunted & discriminated-against minority trying their best to survive in a world that wants them dead for something they're born with and often can't control. The true victims of the series has always been the sorcerers, and from the very first episode, that was made abundantly clear. The victims are not Arthur or the kingdom (who are the offenders). They targeted Arthur, yes, but the endgame was never personal. It was always to bring magic back.
They were the resistance.
And they were ultimately.... destroyed by Emrys?
It makes the moral divide in the series feel a lot more complicated than a simple “heroes vs villains” narrative, because ironically, it was never about the magic for our main character. It was always about his unconditional love for Arthur that drove his every tragic decision. Because of this deep love, he failed so deeply in every way that truly mattered, thus, making the tale of Merthur one of the most tragic love stories ever told and worth keeping alive.
🐉 ⚔️ snippet from my prince and blade wip au | 1071 words | i was really touched by how many of you loved the idea for this au, so please have another scene as a treat! ⚔️ 🐉
The quiet chatter of children's voices carried over as Balinor approached Merlin's chambers. By now he should have no longer been surprised to find two children in Merlin's room, rather than one— it seemed that every time Arthur was able to slip away from Nimueh's care it was in search of the young prince. Not that Balinor nor Hunith minded. There were no other children in the castle close to Merlin's age, and while Balinor could spend every free moment playing knights and dragons with Merlin on his back the connection of a peer was essential. And while Arthur was a couple years older than Merlin at five, their distance was not so large that they couldn't find their own games. Hunith had told Balinor with a smile that she had found Arthur very seriously explaining the construction of a block castle to Merlin, complete with watchtowers positioned to the East and West, all while Merlin floated a couple blocks in his palms and asked to build a tower in the sky.
His son's delighted giggle rang out as Balinor put his palm on the door, and he was almost loath to enter and disturb the playdate. "I'm sorry boys, but Merlin needs to get ready for—"
Balinor stepped inside Merlin's room, and froze.
Arthur and Merlin were kneeling on the floor, wooden horses and soldiers scattered about them. Arthur pointed to a particular spot on the floor. "The horses go over here—"
And at Arthur's words, like answering to their commander's call, the horses moved wooden joints to trot into position. Arthur's eyes shone gold with the order.
But Arthur had no magic. And the gold in his eyes flowed from the small hand clasped in his own, Merlin's own eyes the color of precious metal as his magic poured into Arthur.
Horror consumed Balinor's voice, forced him to move.
"STOP!"
He crossed the distance in a heartbeat, hands around Arthur's chest before the children could even move. He pulled Arthur off of his feet as the boy cried out in surprise, his hand ripped out of Merlin's. Balinor whirled, roughly setting Arthur to the side, desperately trying to get him away stop stop no. The second the connection broke, the horses stopped their loyal march and the gold in Arthur's eyes faded.
But the gold in Merlin's remained.
Balinor's grip on Arthur had barely loosened before he was flying through the air. The wall slammed against his back, the floor as he fell, and pain washed over his body. His vision turned to swirling shadows, wheezing to catch the air that had been forced out of his lungs. For a moment he heard nothing but his own pained heave.
And then Merlin wailed, high pitched and terrified. The sound lanced through Balinor like a spear. His hands clumsily caught under him, and Merlin's cry broke on a sob that barely caught for breath before continuing.
"I'm sorry!" Arthur scrambled to his feet as Balinor still fought to right himself, running over to Merlin. He looked from Merlin, to Balinor, then back to Merlin, and his own face was white and streaked with tears. "I'm s-sorry, I—" his voice warbled as he tried to speak through his cries. "I didn't mean— I'm sorry—"
Merlin was still crying, screaming, shoulders hunched and head bowed. Arthur gulped down another sob, and put his arm around Merlin with a shaking hand. He looked back at Balinor before dropping his head like a beaten dog. "I'm sorry."
Balinor's ribs throbbed with pain, likely broken, but the hurt barely touched him as he forced himself upright. He half-stumbled, half-crawled over to the pair, before falling to his own knees an arm's length away. "Merlin. Merlin, darling, it's alright, it's alright." He made his voice go soft, but kept the tremor out of it. "I'm not mad. It's alright. Everything's okay now."
He reached out slowly, careful not to trigger another reaction. He watched how Arthur tensed, still unable to meet Balinor's eyes, but curled so tightly around Merlin. But Merlin raised his head just enough to see his father's face, and then to Balinor's heartbreaking relief he crawled into his arms. Merlin lay limp against his chest, letting Balinor slide him into his lap. Slowly, the tone of hysteria began to bleed from Merlin's cries.
Arthur still hadn't moved. "It's my fault," he whispered. "I w-wanted to play with the horses, d-don't be mad at him—"
"I'm not mad at anyone," Balinor said calmly. He wanted desperately to reach out to Arthur as well, but couldn't yet. "I'm sorry I shouted. I was scared. But no one's in trouble. Everything's alright."
Arthur was still tense, crying, unconvinced. "I d-did something bad—"
"No one did anything bad," Balinor said firmly. "You did something dangerous because you didn't know better, and I got scared. But it's not your fault. It's alright now."
Merlin hiccuped against his chest, and Balinor cupped a hand against the back of his tiny head. Merlin dragged his face up, wiping snot and tears against Balinor's velvet doublet. "It's 'ust playing," he managed.
"I know, darling," Balinor whispered. "And I know you like to play with your magic. But you can't—" He swallowed, forcing himself to remain steady. "You can't let Arthur play with your magic. Not like that. It— it can be bad for him. It can hurt him."
Balinor felt like he was scrambling through broken shards to fight the right pieces to pick up, each of them cutting his hands. How to explain the feat of channeling magic to a child, when most who had spent their life practicing the craft could barely master it. How it was only practiced with the utmost focus, for the danger it posed to both spell caster and aide. How even the slightest lack of control over one's magic could prove deadly, snapping back with raw power that could turn a man to dust in a heartbeat.
And Merlin had just channeled magic into Arthur because Arthur wanted to see the horses march.
"It's my fault," Arthur was still saying, and Balinor could hold back no longer.
"It's not," he said firmly, reaching out to Arthur. "No one did anything wrong. Everything's alright now."
Arthur was still trembling, but he let himself be nudged into Balinor's arms, wrapped tight around both children. The Dragon King did not move until all tears had dried, including his own.
Where Merlin, prince of the druids, son of King Balinor the dragonlord, has his life change when a blonde boy arrives trying to slay a dragon in their care.
Shortly after, that same boy saves his life from some bandits and gets appointed as his servant. Merlin is really happy about it for some reason, that may have to do with all the magical tasks he ask the servant to complete and he is unable to do.
Secretly though, Arthur Pendragon has escaped his kingdom and accepted this life cause he wants to take his father's throne after he sent his sweet sister, Morgana, to the dungeons when she displayed magic abilities, and he needs to gain the druids trust to attempt an attack.
Cue to learning about the 'non-magic-druids' in the place that become their friends and the 'not-as-powerful' sorcerers that follow Merlin like he is more capable of magic than the magic trick of butterflies he summons for fun in his free time.
So I actually had a fic idea that was basically this, BUT instead Arthur had fled when his uncle Agravaine had led a coup. Unable to trust anyone, Arthur goes to find the one person he knows outside the kingdom, Gaius, who had been his caretaker before Gaius couldn't stand Uther's madness anymore and left. When he finally makes it to Gaius, Gaius does what Gaius does, and insists that Arthur can't let King Balinor or Prince Merlin know who he is, because Uther had killed Queen Hunith not long after Merlin was born.
So Arthur has to pretend not to be of noble birth, all while trying to get an in with the knights, to make allies to help him retake his home. Except then a mistake happens, Arthur accidentally finds a disguised and snuck out Merlin and gets in a fight, and well, Arthur is brought before King Balinor.
And Balinor... Well, he knows something is up with Arthur. But he thinks its just that Arthur is a very dedicated knight hopeful. So he'll be Merlin's manservant, keep an eye on Merlin for Balinor, and then when they know Arthur is trustworthy, they'll see about knighthood.
OMG This!!! Like, its not a fic yet, and ideas can be merged (i wish I had the energy after work to do this!)
I was actually thinking that for this Merlin should have honey gold eyes all the time, but once chosing to help Arthur he has to "hide" his magic and they turn blue, which is something everyone will comment about.
But like, Merlin is worse than Arthur when it comes to set chores for the boy, like 'float those flowers to the side of the walls for the feast of the next full moon', or like, 'why are you taking so long filling in the water for my bath? Don't you know the spell?" and 'go muck the dragon stables'. 😅
And I was imagining poor Morgana hiding her predictions by only saying half truths when asked (cause that would be an advantage for Uther) or making up attacks and misfortune to keep them busy.
But yeah, keep the ideas coming, I know many could get inspiration from this!
“The boy, Merlin, practices magic,” Aredian revealed. All around the court, eyebrows raised, and jaws dropped, and faces paled. Merlin himself froze in place and slowly turned his gaze to Arthur.
Uther did not even try to contain his reaction; he rolled his eyes. “Oh, please,” he scoffed. “That boy is confessing to sorcery every other day. Find a real sorcerer, Aredian, and not a noble fool of a boy with a death wish and far too many suspicious friends.”
Where Merlin, prince of the druids, son of King Balinor the dragonlord, has his life change when a blonde boy arrives trying to slay a dragon in their care.
Shortly after, that same boy saves his life from some bandits and gets appointed as his servant. Merlin is really happy about it for some reason, that may have to do with all the magical tasks he ask the servant to complete and he is unable to do.
Secretly though, Arthur Pendragon has escaped his kingdom and accepted this life cause he wants to take his father's throne after he sent his sweet sister, Morgana, to the dungeons when she displayed magic abilities, and he needs to gain the druids trust to attempt an attack.
Cue to learning about the 'non-magic-druids' in the place that become their friends and the 'not-as-powerful' sorcerers that follow Merlin like he is more capable of magic than the magic trick of butterflies he summons for fun in his free time.
So I actually had a fic idea that was basically this, BUT instead Arthur had fled when his uncle Agravaine had led a coup. Unable to trust anyone, Arthur goes to find the one person he knows outside the kingdom, Gaius, who had been his caretaker before Gaius couldn't stand Uther's madness anymore and left. When he finally makes it to Gaius, Gaius does what Gaius does, and insists that Arthur can't let King Balinor or Prince Merlin know who he is, because Uther had killed Queen Hunith not long after Merlin was born.
So Arthur has to pretend not to be of noble birth, all while trying to get an in with the knights, to make allies to help him retake his home. Except then a mistake happens, Arthur accidentally finds a disguised and snuck out Merlin and gets in a fight, and well, Arthur is brought before King Balinor.
And Balinor... Well, he knows something is up with Arthur. But he thinks its just that Arthur is a very dedicated knight hopeful. So he'll be Merlin's manservant, keep an eye on Merlin for Balinor, and then when they know Arthur is trustworthy, they'll see about knighthood.
Where Merlin, prince of the druids, son of King Balinor the dragonlord, has his life change when a blonde boy arrives trying to slay a dragon in their care.
Shortly after, that same boy saves his life from some bandits and gets appointed as his servant. Merlin is really happy about it for some reason, that may have to do with all the magical tasks he ask the servant to complete and he is unable to do.
Secretly though, Arthur Pendragon has escaped his kingdom and accepted this life cause he wants to take his father's throne after he sent his sweet sister, Morgana, to the dungeons when she displayed magic abilities, and he needs to gain the druids trust to attempt an attack.
Cue to learning about the 'non-magic-druids' in the place that become their friends and the 'not-as-powerful' sorcerers that follow Merlin like he is more capable of magic than the magic trick of butterflies he summons for fun in his free time.
So I actually had a fic idea that was basically this, BUT instead Arthur had fled when his uncle Agravaine had led a coup. Unable to trust anyone, Arthur goes to find the one person he knows outside the kingdom, Gaius, who had been his caretaker before Gaius couldn't stand Uther's madness anymore and left. When he finally makes it to Gaius, Gaius does what Gaius does, and insists that Arthur can't let King Balinor or Prince Merlin know who he is, because Uther had killed Queen Hunith not long after Merlin was born.
So Arthur has to pretend not to be of noble birth, all while trying to get an in with the knights, to make allies to help him retake his home. Except then a mistake happens, Arthur accidentally finds a disguised and snuck out Merlin and gets in a fight, and well, Arthur is brought before King Balinor.
And Balinor... Well, he knows something is up with Arthur. But he thinks its just that Arthur is a very dedicated knight hopeful. So he'll be Merlin's manservant, keep an eye on Merlin for Balinor, and then when they know Arthur is trustworthy, they'll see about knighthood.
He is not waking up, and everyone is lost for answers on how to save their King.
Except no one knows Arthur is wandering around as a spirit, or a ghost, perhaps his soul is outside his body. The usual trope.
He can see and hear everything — but he cannot talk to anyone. He is completely helpless.
One night he sees his uncle enter his rooms with a blade in hand. It’s an ornate dagger carrying the House of Du Bois sigil. He leans over and holds it to his throat.
“Not so powerful now are you, My Lord” He sneers. Arthur feels dread wash over him like cold water down the back of his neck.
His uncle!
His own uncle, his last living relative and direct ties to his mother was about to slit his throat while he slept. Arthur was about to watch his own death and there was nothing he could do.
Agravaine is testing different angles. “How shall it be, huh? Quick and simple? A clean cut?” He paused. “No. My sister died a painful death, her blood spilling out as she lay dying, just so Uther could have an heir. You shall die a similar way.” Agravaine was entirely too pleased as he looked down on his sleeping nephew.
“No one can help you, no one can save you now, not even Emrys”
As the man begins to add pressure on his hand and aims for the neck to cut, Merlin enters from the servants door as if he had been summoned by the Gods.
Arthur has never been more elated and scared at the same time.
Agravaine is frozen in place. Merlin, moving quicker than Arthur has ever seen him move, is by Arthur’s side and holding his hand over Agravaines.
“Ah, Merlin” Lord Agravaine is cheerfully calm, as if he hadn’t just been caught attempting regicide. The blade was still pressing against Arthur’s throat.
“I was just helping my newphew shave. It’s so dreadful to see him like this” He tutted with a condescending tone.
“I shave His Majesty every other day” Merlin’s cold stone voice is like thunder from clear sky.
He grips the knife with his hand, and if the blade cuts into his skin, he shows no sign of it. In fact, Merlin’s face remains impressively blank throughout their silent conversation.
“I think you should leave now.”
Found out and frustrated, Agravaine drops the blade onto Arthur’s chest and moves towards the door. A few droplets of blood splatter against the white linen of his shirt.
Merlin stays still with his eyes focused on Arthur’s breathing chest. Only when the traitor reaches the door does he speak.
“Lord Agravaine” Merlin’s words stop him in his tracks.
“What?” He spits out, no longer able to conceal his true feelings. Disgust and hatred is clear in both in his voice and in his features. The older man turns and stares at the servant.
Arthur fears for both of their lives.
“I wonder what Queen Ygraine would think of your actions here tonight.”
“I beg your pardon!”
“I wonder what your sister would think if she knew that you were having an affair with her husband’s bastard daughter” Merlin elaborated. He looked entirely too comfortable taunting the man.
Arthur tried to move in front of Merlin, to save him from his uncles anger, but Agravaine moved through him as if he was nothing but smoke.
Agravaine reaches for his sword, but Merlin is quicker. “How dare you call her that! I will strike you where you stand”
“But it is true. You claim to love Ygraine, but instead of supporting your sisters son, you betray him for Uther’s bastard child”
Agravaine moves quickly with his sword raised. Merlin stops him with the hidden sword Arthur keeps beside his bed. Only Merlin knows of its existence.
He never knew Merlin was such a skilled swordsman.
Despite his age, Agravaine would easily win a sword fight against Merlin. Arthur tried shouting for help, but no one could hear him in his ghost state.
“I’m not the sort of man you wish to antagonise.” Merlin pointed his sword at his uncles chest. “And you certainly do not wish to make an enemy of me. Just ask Morgana what happened to her sister. Or to Nimhue. Or Cornelius Segan.”
“You think you can kill me?” Agravaine laughed at him and pushed the tip of the sword away.
“Maybe. Maybe not. Who says it will be me? Tell me, my lord. Do you know the name of the servant who dresses you each morning? Could you recognise him in a crowd? Do you even know the name of the cook that makes your food? I do”
Merlin was so calm and collected it was scary. Even Agravaine seemed to be unsettled by his tone.
“I know every knight, servant, and guard in the citadel. I know who dresses you, which servants prepare your wine and who makes your food…and maybe my hand might slip...”
“You threaten to poison me like you did Morgana” He hissed in realisation.
Poisoning Morgana? When on earth had Merlin done that?!
“Maybe. Who’s to say it would be poison. I could kill you any manner I wish. Either way, you’ve overstay your welcome and I must ask you to leave the Kings chambers.”
“I’m the Kings uncle and a high lord of the council, you cannot order me about!” He was sweating with anger now, and his condescension had turned righteous.
“Guards!” Merlin shouted. Half a second later the door opened and four men appeared, swords in hand, ready to defend their King.
Arthur let out a sigh of relief. Finally, Merlin was safe.
“Yes Merlin?” Sir Alfred asked while eying the two men with their swords drawn. It was quite the scene, Arthur admitted.
“Please escort Lord Agravaine out of the Kings chambers. He is not to enter again without my permission.” Merlin lowered his sword and walked back to the bed where Arthur’s still body lay.
Agravaine laughed at this, but quickly realised that he was the only one who saw any humour in it, when two knights strong-armed him. “Unhand me at once! How dare you take the word of a servant over the word of a Lord!” His fighting was easily combated by the expert knights. He had lost.
Sir Alfred looked him in the eyes. “By orders of the King, we are to treat every word from Merlin as if they were his own. If Merlin says you’re no longer welcomed in the Kings chambers, we will act accordingly.”
They dragged the lord out of the room in an undignified way.
Arthur watched as the door clicked shut and Merlin finally showed some emotion. Falling to his knees before Arthur’s bed, he grabbed his hand and kissed it.
Heaving with tears and shock he choked out “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” He kissed his hand again. “I won’t ever let him come near you ever again, I promise.”
Arthur wanted to assure his friend that he knew Merlin would keep him safe, that he trusted him more than anyone else in the world! But no sounds came out of his mouth.
When Merlin got up he began touching Arthur’s chest and throat, seemingly feeling his heartbeat and pulse underneath his fingers. “You’re safe, you’re safe, you’re safe”
He reaches down and presses a kiss to his forhead mumbling words mostly to calm himself, rather than to address the sleeping man before him. “Arthur is alive. He’s alive”
Night became morning, and Arthur watched as Merlin began to prepare his rooms for a new day. He drew the curtains and opened the window for some fresh air. He made the bed and found a clean shirt for Arthur to wear. Merlin diligently and respectfully undressed and cleaned his sleeping body for the day.
Arthur had watched Merlin watch him all night. He stood leaning against the bedpost, arms crossed, as Merlin sat by his side all night. He had never felt safer.
Merlin asked for the guards to send for a servant with breakfast to keep up appearances. Of course, Merlin ate the King's food, but for once, Arthur didn’t mind the blatant display of disrespect.
Even if he had crumbs on the bed.
The midday bell had already rung when Gaius entered the room. The older man waddled over, weighed down by his heavy robes, and handed Merlin a small bottle. “I’ve made the antidote; now, all you have to do is make him swallow it. And hopefully, he will wake up.”
“What if it doesn’t work?” Merlin asked as he took the bottle into his hands. He unstoppered it and took a sniff. He hummed pleasantly. “Elderflower, nice.”
Gaius looked at Merlin as if he had said something ridiculously stupid. An eyebrow rose high, and Merlin shuffled with nerves. Even Arthur found it uncomfortable.
“Obviously, I figured you would try to wake him using other means.” He said it as if Merlin was being deliberately obtuse.
Other means? Does that mean magic?
Arthur didn’t really have time to think about what Gaius had insinuated because the older man left the room so Merlin could work in peace. Merlin walked back to Arthur’s body, lowered his hand to his mouth, and began to gently pour the antidote into his mouth.
Hope filled him as Merlin massaged his throat to make him swallow. He was not sure what he expected to happen or what it would feel like, but for a few seconds when nothing happened, he looked over at Merlin, who was equally anxious. Somehow, that helped calm him down.
He hadn’t noticed slipping away, but suddenly, he could feel the weight of the duvet on his body and Merlin’s hand in his. Arthur tried to blink and sunlight met his eyes. His knees ached from lack of movement, and his arm was stiff.
He was back in his body!
Arthur groaned and tried to move upright, and he could hear Merlin gasp with happiness beside him. He opened his eyes properly and looked up at Merlin’s delighted expression. “You’re awake!” He shouted and helped Arthur sit up.
“I am,” Arthur croaked, his throat dry from the lack of liquids. As he sat up, he felt more relief than he had ever before. He was finally back in his own body, and Merlin was next to him, beaming like the sun. His eyes were wet with tears.
Arthur reached over and grabbed him into a bear hug, squeezing the smaller man into his chest. The angle was weird, with him sitting upright in bed and Merlin standing next to him, but he refused to let go.
He breathed in the scent of Merlin and closed his eyes, no longer afraid he wouldn't wake up. “Oh, we’re hugging, that’s nice, we never hug, I quite like it, we should do it more.” The idiot above him said.
“Merlin.”
“Yes, sire?”
“Shut up.”
“Shutting up now, sire.” Arthur pressed his nose against Merlin’s collarbone and took a deep breath. Eventually, he let go of the man. “I need to get dressed.”
Merlin began to explain the whole ordeal. “Arthur, you were cursed; there was a sleeping potion in your wine, and —“
“I know.” Arthur swung his legs over the edge of the bed and moved to get closer to the window. He touched the screen and smiled as his hands no longer phased through it like fog.
Merlin was beside him instantly. Worry and confusion clouded his face. “What do you mean you know?”
Arthur turned around and saw his best friend. His whole heart. He couldn’t stop himself as he placed his hands around Merlin’s precious face, fingers gently enclosing his cheeks. “I know.” He confirmed and leaned in to kiss him.
Their lips met in the softest kiss he’d ever had. Merlin was standing still for too long, and Arthur feared he’d misread his loving gestures, but then Merlin melted like butter in his hands and leaned into him just as desperately.
They kissed and Arthur let out small sighs as he moved a hand to his back, pulling Merlin in closer to himself. He felt Merlin’s hand on his chest, gripping at his tunic.
“Thank you,” Arthur whispered as he pulled away. Merlin looked utterly shocked, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out. He looked ridiculous, and Arthur smiled a little. “Thank you for saving my life, Merlin. Thank you for always being by my side, for always choosing me, for always believing in me.” Merlin’s eyes softened at him, and he continued.
Merlin looked so befuddled, eyes wide and glistening with tears, his soft lips opening and closing in confusion. “I must be asleep and dreaming.” He whispered to himself. He touched his lips gently with his long fingers.
Arthur took his hand in his and pressed his lips to his knuckles. “No, Merlin, you're wide awake. As am I. Gaius was right when he said the potion could have side effects.”
Merlin squawked at this, for how could Arthur know that? He stumbled a little backwards. Arthur grabbed his hand again and pulled him back into his embrace. He held Merlin in his arms as he explained.
“I was awake, at least part of me was. It was like I was separated from my body, and I could walk around the room, hearing and seeing everything, but no one could see or hear me. I saw everything that happened last night.” He ended with a pointed stare.
Merlin’s shaky hand moved to cover a gasp. His eyes turned fearful again. “You saw Agravaine?”
Closing his eyes in anger, Arthur sighed. “Yes. And I saw how you saved my life. I saw how confident you were, how brave! I have never been prouder to call you my friend.”
“Friend?” Merlin asked, his rosy lips pulling up into a small smile. “So you finally admit that we’re friends, huh?”
“My closest and most trusted friend. The one person I rely on most, the only person to whom I have shown my true self. My everything.”
Arthur enjoyed seeing Merlin’s cheeks blush at his words. He cocked his head to the side and showed off his jawline in what he assumed would be an attractive look. When Merlin's pupils widened, his assumption was proven correct. “Merlin?”
“Yes, Arthur?” his servant whispered.
“May I kiss you again?”
Arthur barely had time to finish his sentence before Merlin threw his arms around his neck and kissed him again. And again. And again.
He washed and dressed himself, all while listening to Merlin’s incessant chattering. As always, Arthur pretended not to care or listen, and as always, they both knew he did.
They had yet to talk properly about the assassination attempt, of Agravaine and Merlin’s intervention. Too busy sneaking small kisses here and there.
At least until Arthur’s stomach grumbled loudly.
“If only someone hadn’t eaten all my breakfast.” He joked as he ordered Merlin to fetch them both some lunch.
“And tell Leon to come see me.” He said as Merlin left the room, the door wide open, so the guards outside heard his voice too. By the sound of metal moving down the corridor, a guard had been sent in search of the knight.
Arthur marvels at the ability to use his body again. Childishly, he walked around his chambers, touching various objects and pieces, picking up the laundry that Merlin, as always, had left discarded on the floor, opening the window to feel the light breeze on his skin, and sitting down in his chair.
He smiled as he picked up the notes and reports Merlin had finished last night. Never had he been happier to hold a grein report in his hands. Arthur spent a few minutes looking over the papers, taking note of every breath that exhaled from his body. He was never going to take this feeling for granted again.
“Here you go; roasted nuts, cheeses, pulled pork, warm bread rolls with honey, and of course some watered wine,” Merlin announced in his most George-like impression.
“I hope you brought enough for two because we’re going to eat while we discuss last night's…events.” He ended on, not sure how to qualify the revelation that his uncle had been working against him all these months.
Merlin snorted unglamorously. “I always bring enough for two.” Setting the tray and plates down, Merlin sits down opposite Arthur and picks at the nuts and grapes. Arthur grabbed the meat and bread rolls, taking a few bites before he braved the topic.
“How long have you known?” He whispered, and Merlin’s face softened. “You tried to warn me of him once before, and I always knew you didn’t like him, but I can’t understand how he’s been hiding this for so long.” Arthur refused to cry. That man didn’t deserve his tears.
“I didn’t always know.” Merlin began, looking at the window for a moment before he continued. “But after the Dorocha attacked, I began to suspect. I had no proof of his involvement with Morgana until then. He knew things he shouldn’t, things only a sorcerer would know, or someone who studies magic — like Gaius used to — and then again after the rockfall...I woke up, and he was there with Morgana. He had purposely taken me to torment you.”
“You said he kissed her arm.” Arthur breathed. Merlin nodded sagely. “I doubt she has feelings for him, she has always hated men like him. But Morgana knows how to play court and use her appearance to her advantage.” He bit his lip as if he felt dirty talking about it, but it was true, and they both knew it.
As Merlin licked some honey off of a bread roll, it ended up down his fingers and his chin. Arthur rolled his eyes and laughed at him. After seven years together, he had figured out that Merlin would occasionally play the fool to make him feel better. It always worked.
“If your fingers are quite clean, Merlin, I’d like for you to continue.” He huffed, and his servant sighed.
“My only proof was my word, and what is the word of a servant against that of a lord? And a member of the royal family at that.” Merlin smiled at him. Arthur hated that he was right. While he had nearly always trusted Merlin’s word, he had on occasion brushed it aside because of their differences in station.
“Besides, I had only heard or seen the things that I had while I had sneaked out of Camelot to follow him. I was also guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Anyone could accuse me of spying on you instead of Morgana.”
Arthur held out his hand on the table for Merlin to hold. He soothed his friend by rubbing his thumb against his warm skin.
“And Morgana? What did he mean by poisoning her?” He asked, not wanting to know the answer. Judging by the look on Merlin’s face, he didn’t want to explain it either.
Merlin explained the whole ordeal to him, and Arthur listened as best as he could. Hemlock, bargains, magic, and lies. It hurt, but he understood Merlin’s actions. He had no idea what he would’ve done if he was in that position.
“I never intended for her to be whisked away like that. I fear my betrayal and Morgana’s intentions destroyed whatever was left of the Morgana we knew. She had attempted to kill Uther multiple times before that, but ever since that day, she has hated me as much as she hated him. And so, therefore, she hates you and Gwen.”
Merlin looked more resigned than upset, as if this was the reality he had long since accepted. Arthur, having emptied his plate at this point, got up and walked to Merlin’s side of the table. “I know Morgana will never forgive you for what happened. But I do. I understand. I’ve been in impossible situations before, and sometimes, the only way out is a difficult one.”
He kissed Merlin again, who signed against his lips. Their lips moved against each other while hands moved around their shoulders and arms. Merlin ended up once again being held by his King.
A knock on the door interrupted them. Merlin jumped away quicker than Arthur would’ve liked, and he walked over to the door. “Oh, Leon!”
His first knight was just as excited to see him as Arthur was. He stumbled a little at the sight of the King awake and leaning against the table. “Sire!” He cried and smiled happily. “Thank goodness you’re awake. I’ve been worried sick.”
Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and nodded at him. “It’s all thanks to Gaius for making the antidote and to Merlin for saving my life last night.”
“Last night, sire?”
“Lord Agravaine attempted to slit my throat while I slept. It was he who had poisoned my wine. He is the traitor we’ve been looking for.” Arthur emphasised calmly, and Leon looked shocked for a moment but then closed his eyes in resignation.
“Merlin was right. As always.”
He asked Leon about the suspicions Merlin had brought forth. The knight cringed and looked uncomfortable. “It is true, sire. I have suspected Lord Agravaine didn't harbour the best intent for Camelot in his heart, but I never believed him capable of this.”
“Neither did I. But now we’re faced with the truth, and we must act. He will be arrested and tried later today. Do you know where he is at this moment?” Arthur asked, and Leon confirmed the lord was currently in the throne room, attending court.
Merlin placed his golden circlet on his head before they left the room. While he was dressed informally, his sword and red jacket added a level of confidence he would need in this moment. He was about to arrest his uncle.
“Guards, with me.” He ordered as he walked out, Merlin by his left side, Leon to his right. Behind him were his four trusted guards, armoured and ready.
Arthur thanked his guards for obeying his orders and listening to Merlin. “He knows me better than anyone, and so whatever he says goes. Thank you for trusting him.” His heart fluttered at the sight of Merlin’s beautiful, flushed face.
Entering the throne room with such an entourage was uncommon, and many servants turned their heads at the men. Lance, Gwaine, and Percy were in the main hall, eying up the Lords of the court, silently judging Agravaine's loud attempts at control.
“His Majesty, King Arthur!” The chamberlain announced as he entered the room. Arthur enjoyed the look of horror etched onto Agravaine's face. He had probably assumed he would get a second chance at regicide later tonight.
Arthur walked with confidence towards the man, ignoring the attempts at conversation by other people. “Arthur, dear nephew. How good to see you’re well from your cold yesterday.” Agravaine's sly voice sounded.
The King didn’t respond. Instead, he stared the man down, waiting for him to speak again. “I assume you’ve recovered well, I’ve tended to court in your absence and —”
Arthur held up a hand to silence him. “Arrest him.” He ordered Leon and his knights. The guards stood protectively around the King, as Leon, Gwaine, and Percival gripped tightly around the lord. Gasps and confusion erupted in the hall.
“Lord Agravaine, you are arrested for attempted regicide and treason. You will stand trial tonight.” Arthur crossed his arms and watched as the man he once loved soured in front of him.
“Is this something Merlin has put you up to? I swear, my lord, it’s not true! I would never— ”
He was cut off again. “You poisoned my wine in an attempt to kill me whilst I slept.” Arthur paused as shock ran through the hall, knights grabbed their sword hilts, and Agravaines’ eyes darkened.
“Unbeknownst to either you or Morgana, the poison interacted with the wine, causing a strange side effect — I was wide awake, my soul existing outside my body. I saw and heard everything. I will be the key witness at your trial. Merlin and my guards will confirm what happened during the night. You will hang.”
Agravaine stopped fighting the knights and instead looked deep into Arthur's eyes. In them, he saw nothing but contempt and anger. “You’re a foolish boy! You’re just like your father. I’ve hated you since the moment you were born!” He spat on the floor in front of the King's feet. If Leon gripped his arm tighter than necessary at this, no one commented.
“I may bear my father's name. But I am also the son of Queen Ygraine, the kind and gentle. You knew her better than most, and instead, you betrayed her for Morgana.”
“My mistress will rule Camelot and get her revenge on you, Pendragons!” Agravaine shouted as four knights pulled him away.
Arthur smiled with a glint in his eyes. “You forget, uncle. Your sister was also a Pendragon.” He watched as his uncle was dragged away. In light of this, he knew there would be no need for a trial. Agravaine had doomed himself. He will hang tonight.
“Sire,” Sir Alfred began but didn’t seem to know where to continue. Neither did his other guard friends. “What exactly happened last night? We saw Merlin and his lordship with drawn swords, but…”
“Agravaine attempted to slit my throat. Merlin stopped him, quite spectacularly, I must say — You’re far better with a sword than I realised.” Arthur tried to calm the group. As much as he was glad to be back in his body, all he really wanted was to curl up next to Merlin and cry.
“Lancelot taught me.” Merlin smiled and waved at the knight who stood guard next to the entrance. Arthur nodded at him in gratitude.
Arthur held court for half an hour before he excused himself to Gaius’ chambers. Merlin walked next to him, of course, and their hands touched occasionally as they swung. Neither commented on it, but they both smiled.
“Thank you, Gaius, for making the antidote. Your experience is an asset to Camelot. I will not forget this.” Arthur shook the old man’s hand before he sat down on the wooden bench. Merlin was grinding some herbs in a pot, smiling.
“It’s a good thing you found the right potion, otherwise, we would be stuck with Merlin's pathetic excuse of magic. Thank the gods he’s too foolish to learn any real magic.” Arthur laughed, and Gaius froze for half a second too long. He tried to pretend he didn’t, but Arthur was a warrior knight. He caught it.
“It was a real spell, wasn’t it?” He questioned, but really it was a statement.
“Yes, sire. It was, but it was fruitless against Morgana's sleeping potion.” Merlin whispered in fear. His hand had stopped moving, and Arthur’s heart had stopped. Arthur shook his head in desperation. “No, no!” He whispered. This isn’t real. This cannot be. “Don’t lie to me, Merlin. You’re not a sorcerer, I would know."
Merlin’s eyes wetted, and he choked on a gasp. He wrapped his arms around himself, unable to speak.
“Don’t. My heart cannot take another betrayal, not today. Not like this. Not you.” He begged, but Merlin only tightened his arms around himself.
“I’m sorry, Arthur. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but there was never a good opportunity. And then today you kissed me, and I didn’t know how to say it.” Merlin cried.
Arthur looked at his friend in shock and then slowly came to the realisation that Gaius must've taught Merlin healing magic and protection spells. The man in question looked more fearful than surprised. “I reckon you taught him these things. Why? How could you do that to him?!”
Gaius, who had since sat down in a chair near the fireplace, closed his eyes and sighed. He seemed older than Arthur had ever seen him before. “Some people are more susceptible to Magic.” He began, and Arthur waved his hand to continue.
“Morgana was born with an innate ability to do magic, but she had no one to guide or teach her, and so in her quest for revenge, she fell into the grasp of dark magic. Merlin was lucky that his uncle knew medicinal magic, and has been able to steer him in the right direction.” Gaius pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
Arthur winced and looked away. If that was true, then…“Merlin was truly born with this ability then?” He tried his best to calm himself. Medicinal magic he could understand. He could accept that.
“Yes. And he is immensely powerful. I’ve seen him master spells in one day that would take years to learn. When he was unable to wake you up, he was devastated, for his magic was useless against Morgana's potion.”
So it was more than just medicinal then. But Merlin still used his power to heal. Alright. Arthur gripped at his hair. His circlet lay on the table, he had discarded it as soon as he entered the room.
“You speak as if people can be born with magic. As if it’s a part of them, not a power they sought out.” He shook his head. “But that’s not possible…I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Arthur tried to argue, and Merlin answered him with a soft voice.
“You’ve never seen a lion, but you know they exist. You’ve never been aboard a ship, but you know they float. Just because you’ve never seen or heard of people born with magic doesn’t make it impossible. Morgana was born with her magic, and so was Mordred, the druid you saved. I was born with my magic…as was my father.”
Arthur gaped at his words. He could hear the grief in Merlin’s tone, there was clearly more there he was not ready to tell. Merlin had never spoken of his father, not since that day around the campfire. Had he met him and not told Arthur?
“Magic is no more corrupt than your crown, sire. You know evil kings as well as good ones. Uther was good at times, but his thirst for revenge clouded his judgment. Likewise, you saw Agrvaiane today with his thirst for the throne. You, however, have no such desire, and thus you rule with respect for your people.” Gaius explained, his voice exhausted.
Arthur nodded his head, he could somewhat see the logic in the comparison. But still, his fear of magic and its corruption was far greater than his willingness to accept such a reality. Merlin had started speaking again.
“But in the end, it’s still just a crown, and its power lies in the hands of the people who wear it. You choose to be a great and just King, while others don’t.” Merlin wiped his eyes, and smiled at Arthur with such reverence it made him uncomfortable.
So it was all just a choice then?
“My father was a hypocrite, that much we all know, but I do fear magic. And if it’s as you say, that the caster chose how to wield their magic, then we must still fear some sorcerers.” Arthur tried to steer the conversation again, and this time, Merlin let him.
“Make me understand how magic can be good. Because my mind cannot comprehend the idea of you —my Merlin— being an evil sorcerer. The two things simply cannot coexist. So either you are evil, or everything my father has taught me about magic is wrong.”
From the look on Merlin and Gaius's faces, he seemed to have hit a rough spot. He waited for them to answer.
“Magic can be dangerous, we’ve all seen that. But it can also be good, we’ve also seen that. Your father,” Merlin cringed and added softly, “didn’t always teach you the truth about magic. You said so yourself, that surely not all of the people he burnt were guilty. Nor was their magic evil.”
Like Gwen and her father. Or Gaius. Or the little druid boy. But Morgause had been cruel, enslaving his entire kingdom under a sleeping spell.
“But sometimes it is!” He argued again. He had seen it countless times. “So the magic they used, the magic they chose to use was evil, and so were they. But did they act that way because of magic, or for some other reason?” He asked, thinking back on his sister.
“Morgana was good, she was kind and caring. How did it all change so quickly? Was it all down to the magic she used, or is her hatred towards Uther so strong that she is blinded to reality?” Arthur stood up and paced around the room.
“Morgana is responsible for the death and destruction of hundreds of our citizens…the same people she used to protect with her own life. What happened to my sister?” He was desperate to understand. Was it not magic that had corrupted her, or was it just pure anger?
Merlin braved to walk over to him and clasp his hand in his. He kissed Arthurs thumb and replied. “Bitterness can swallow even the kindest of souls. You were willing to kill your own father after learning the truth about your mother's death. I’ve killed many for trying to harm you.”
For once, Arthur didn’t doubt him. The Merlin he had witnessed last night was certainly a man to be reckoned with. With his voice's coldness, steady hand, and demeanour; he did not doubt Merlin's ability to kill for his king.
“Morgana craves the throne as reconciliation for her mistreatment, and she thinks the death of others is just a necessary evil to achieve her goals.” Merlin sighed.
“Sorcerers are people, just like you and I. We feel, we think, and we have ideas and motives. Some people use magic for evil, while most don’t. My father was killed by a sword, and to this day, I still fear swords. But I have never feared yours.” He emphasised, and finally, the king understood.
Arthur closed his eyes and leaned into Merlin’s touch. Even if he was a sorcerer, even if he lied. He was still Merlin. He breathed in that same scent he fell in love with years ago. “I trust you.” He whispered.
“I trust that you won’t harm me or my kingdom. But I fear other sorcerers.”
“That’s understandable, sire. I, too, fear some sorcerers. But I know many kind ones too. I could introduce you to them.”
“They live here, in Camelot?!” He opened his eyes and exclaimed. Merlin grinned. “Some do. Others had to flee. But they harbour no resentment towards you or your people. They only wish to live in peace.”
Gaius had, at some point, made himself scarce, and Arthur was thankful for it. He needed to be alone with Merlin now. He closed his eyes again and breathed in. Once. Twice. “Were you ever going to tell me? About your magic.” He needed to know.
“I wanted to, but...” Merlin stopped himself.
“But what?”
“I was too afraid to hurt you.”
“That’s what worried you?” Arthur didn’t want to believe it. But he could understand him. The thought of harming Merlin was terrifying.
“I’d rather burn alive than disappoint you. I’d rather hang than lose your trust. I nearly told you about my magic that day in Ealdor, but we were interrupted. And I wanted to tell you when Gaius was framed by the witchfinder. I nearly told you two weeks ago when you made plans with the druids for safe passage through Camelot.” Merlin looked at him with those big doe eyes of his, so proud, so loving.
It hurt Arthur’s heart to know Merlin was so willing to die for him. As if he would ever let him.
“But I never knew how to tell you. How do you tell your best friend and lover that you’ve been lying to him for years?” Merlin whispered into the air, his lips quivering. Arthur longed to kiss them again.
“And then today you kissed me.” Merlin blushed, and Arthur adored it. They had always seemed to be thinking about the same thing at the same time. They were so similar. He leaned in and pecked him just once, quickly.
“It was something I have secretly dreamed about for years, but never thought could ever happen. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I was a coward.” Merlin scoffed at himself, but Arhtur wouldn’t allow it.
“I would have forgiven you,” Arthur admitted to them both. He pulled his lover closer, arms wrapping around his lower back, hands holding on tightly to Merlin’s blue tunic.
His servant gave him that beautiful smile Arthur had always longed to see. The same smile he’s spent years trying his best to draw out of him. “You say that now, but you’ve got a tendency to let your emotions run hot and unchecked.”
“Perhaps I would’ve been angry at first. I probably would’ve lashed out. But in the end, I would have forgiven you. I would’ve come to understand. Because Merlin, you…you mean everything to me. I cannot lose you.” He gripped Merlin’s arms and held him tighter.
“I am honoured to be your servant until the day I die.” He responded clearly. Though Merlin still had tears in his eyes, his flushed cheeks made him look happy.
“I don’t want you to be my servant. Not anymore, because you’re so much more than that. You mean everything to me, Merlin! I could barely be a prince without you, let alone a King. I don’t know how to exist without you.”
Arthur was done keeping his emotions under control. He was done with Uther and Agravaines's attempt at controlling him. He loved Merlin. Merlin, who had magic. Merlin, who tried to use magic to save his life.
He knew in his heart he would choose love over hatred. He loved Merlin more than he feared magic. There would be hard conversations and tough decisions in their future, but he knew he was finally about to make a choice he could stand by with pride.
“Do you still have my mother’s sigil?” Merlin nodded and reached into his pocket and held it out, trying to hand it back to Arthur.
“No, you dollophead. Wear it." He picked at the back of it and undid the pin, placing it on Merlin’s lapel, near his heart, pinning it in place. There. Now it would be clear to anyone who Merlin belonged to. He was favoured by the King and should be treated like royalty.
“Do you even know what this means?” Arthur teased Merlin, who simply smiled at him.
“No…I just assumed you trusted me to keep it safe because you were walking into death and wanted your mother's memory alive.”
“It means you’re officially a part of my family. You’re legally a noble now, Merlin — no, don’t give me that look! You’re protected now! That’s why I gave it to you in the first place, I needed to know that even if I died, you would still be safe.”
“If I wear this, then people will gossip, they will suspect that I am…that we are..” Merlin bumbled as he always did, and Arthur rolled his eyes at him. He steadied himself before laying it out plainly.
“By accepting this and wearing it, you are telling everyone in Albion what you mean to me. What you are to me.” Arthur held him tight in his arms. Sorcerer or not, he was still Merlin. His Merlin, who knew him better than anyone, who bravely saved his life against his uncle. His chosen family.
“Which is?” Merlin whispered hopefully, face impossibly close to Arthur’s. The King smiled softly at him before gently pressing his lips against his.
“Everything,” Arthur promised them both and pulled Merlin so close to himself that their bodies felt like one. Between their chests, he could feel the sigil pinned to Merlin’s chest, right above his heart. He smiled into the kiss at the thought of it.
Merlin, his heart, carrying his mother's sigil in such a public manner. Now, everyone would know he belonged to Arthur. Even though his heart had shattered into a thousand pieces last night, he could already feel Merlin’s love for him mending it back together.
Arthur conceded that while the events of last night had felt like a nightmare he would never wake up from, this moment was like a dream come true.
- you know he's getting way too overwhlemed for eye contact. that would be too vulnerable, even (especially) if he's already naked and fucking and unravelling in merlin's arms. he's definitely hiding his face
- I cannot be convinced he's not holding on for dear life the whole way through once the seal is broken. this man melts in a lover's embrace; grabbing, squeezing, clawing, nuzzling, clinging. he would crawl under merlin's skin and share his body if he could. he'd want to be as close as possible
- easy access for hickies and biting; a canvas for a possessive lord's signature (and merlin would make such sweet sounds with teeth in his neck, how could arthur resist?)
- the unmatched comfort of just huffing merlin's scent, pressing his mouth and nose to that soft skin, feeling merlin's heartbeat against his skull, kissing sensitive flesh, feeling his voice rumble against his lips. it would be like a drug to him
- convenient way to hide his burning fluster when merlin says something that absolutely obliterates any shred of composure he had left
- also convenient place to try to muffle his moans when he comes completely undone (before he stops caring how pathetic and needy he sounds and just groans and whimpers without abandon right in merlin's ear, that is)
God help my poor readers, I've discovered the Snowflake Method X)
Decided to turn this into a full-blown post after it blew up in Fanfiction Writers Unite! What is the Snowflake Method?
Created by Randy Ingermanson in 2002, the Snowflake Method is a way of outlining novels before the large-scale writing begins. Since I've been struggling with a lot of things while working on my longfic (like context blindness), I decided to see if there was some way I could reduce that.
Here's the Cliff Notes version I wrote up, and there's more detail below:
Start with a 15-word sentence explaining your entire story. Like those blurbs they put on the backs of books.
Turn that sentence into a paragraph, with the same goal.
Make one page summaries of your MAIN characters. Name, motivations, goals, ALL of it.
Go back to your summary paragraph. Turn every sentence in that paragraph into its own paragraph.
Make half-page summaries of all your SIDE characters. Done correctly, all of the character pages you've done should briefly tell the story from each character's POV.
Those paragraphs from step 4? Turn that 1-page plot synopsis into FOUR pages now :)
All your character sheets? M O A R D E T A I L. birthdate, description, history, motivation, goal, etc. Most importantly, how will this character change by the end of the story?
Back to the plot synopsis now--time to make scenes! Randy Ingermanson (the guy who came up with all this) suggests using a spreadsheet to map out all your scenes, what happens in them, whose POV it is, etc. (You could probably pull off something similar in Scrivener. IDK about other writing software.)
OPTIONAL: In your main story doc, expand those scenes from general descriptions into multiple paragraphs. Ingermanson says EVERY scene should have conflict, but for fanfiction I disagree. Nothing wrong with a bit of fluff sometimes :D
(FINAL) Write the thing. All the pieces are in place, just put 'em together!
Under the cut, I have more info on each of these steps, as well as my own analysis of them.
(Full disclosure: some of this is directly copied from Ingermanson's page. This is just for simplicity's sake and nothing more.)
While it’s perfectly valid to write a fic entirely as improv (and often more fun lol), for longfics you’ll want some kind of framework. It’s the same thing as artists transitioning from line art to flat colors to a full-blown painting. The Snowflake Method is the writer’s version of that premise—and only one potential way of many to go about it! Ingermanson calls his method the Snowflake Method because you essentially design the novel in ever-increasing stages; you start small, then build stuff up in ten(-ish) steps, until it looks like a story.
Note that all of this is recommended to be completed over the course of about a month. Each step supposedly should take at least a week, but the original Snowflake Method was also written in 2002—a long, LONG time ago ^_^; Some of the things listed here can now be completed in a much shorter time (or in much easier ways), but the concept itself could still be quite helpful. Without further ado:
Step 1
Come up with a one-sentence summary of your fic. Ingermanson’s example was “A rogue physicist travels back in time to kill the apostle Paul,” the summary for his first novel, Transgression. Where it’s intended to be a simple selling tool to publishers and literary agents, it’s also the foundation of the Snowflake Method. In fanfic context, think of it as your fic’s first impression. What do you want readers to feel before they even click on your story?
Some hints on what makes a good sentence:
Shorter is better. Ingermanson says to try for fewer than 15 words.
In a fanfic context, character names are optional (though Ingermanson says not to put them). This if FAN fiction; readers want to know who you have doing what!
Tie together the big picture and the personal picture. Which character has the most to lose in this story? Now say what he or she wants to win.
Read some one-line blurbs from books you like to learn how to do this. Writing a one-sentence description is a lot harder than it looks, especially when you want to info dump about your fic so bad X)
Step 2
Expand that sentence to a full paragraph describing the story setup, major disasters, and ending of the novel. This is the second stage of the snowflake. Ingermanson suggests a three-act structure (or as he calls it, “three disasters plus an ending”), with each act taking up a quarter of the story. The final quarter should be devoted to the ending and epilogue (if you’re doing one).
It’s not like you have to be precise about it, though—this is still fanfiction. No sane person is gonna be like “Uh akshually yuor secund act wuz 2.034587 words longer than it shuda been!!1!1!!” Please block people who leave comments like that, seriously XD
Step 3
This is the part where you map out storylines for each of your characters. Write a one-page summary sheet that includes:
The character’s name
A one-sentence summary of the character’s storyline
The character’s motivation (what does he/she want abstractly?)
The character’s goal (what does he/she want concretely?)
The character’s conflict (what prevents him/her from reaching this goal?)
The character’s epiphany (what will he/she learn, how will he/she change?)
A one-paragraph summary of the character’s storyline
My personal suggestion: if you have an action-heavy story and want to get even more creative with it, try using DND character sheets for this! They’re still helpful even if your story doesn’t involve magic—just use the first 2 pages of this one and forget the magic section altogether.
IMPORTANT: You may need to go back and revise your one-sentence summary and/or your one-paragraph summary. Go ahead! Tweaking things is an inevitable part of the design process; better to do them during the planning stages now than when you’re 25k words in. (Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha... 🥲) You likely won’t get it right from the outset—and sometimes things will need to change to keep the story manageable, or even as you learn new things during the writing process.
Step 4
By this stage, you should have a good idea of your fic’s overall structure. Getting to this point can take some time, but if the story is broken, you know it now. From here, you keep growing each “node” of your story. Expand each sentence of your summary paragraph into a full paragraph. The final paragraph should say how the fic ends. At the end of the exercise, you’ll be left with a one-page skeleton of your longfic (or 2, or whatever—it’ll likely be single-digit). The idea is to expand the overall story.
Step 5
Write up a one-page description of each major character and a half-page description of the other important characters. These “character synopses” should tell the story from the point of view of each character. If needed, go back to the earlier steps and make revisions as needed.
TIP: If you're dealing with a story that has a large ensemble cast, rate each person in that cast on a scale of 1-10 (or a star rating) in terms of importance to your story.
If we're using ATLA as an example, Aang would be a 10 on the 1-10 scale (since he's the MC) and the cabbage guy would be a 1 or 2. And yet, both characters have distinct storylines; Aang is trying to master the 4 elements, and the cabbage guy just wants to sell his cabbages. Just because a character is a 1 or 2 in plot relevance doesn't mean they have to be boring! (This also tells you that not every storyline has to be overly complicated!)
Step 6
By now, you have a solid story and several story threads, one for each character. Next, expand the one-page plot synopsis to a four-page synopsis. Similar to the last step, you’ll be expanding each paragraph from step 4 into a full page. This is to help you figure out the high-level logic of the story and make strategic decisions. Here, you will definitely want to cycle back and fix things in the earlier steps as you gain insight into the story and new ideas whack you in the face.
Step 7
Expand your character descriptions into full-fledged character charts detailing everything there is to know about each character. The standard stuff such as birthdate, description, history, motivation, goal, etc. The most important thing you want to note is this though: how will this character change by the end of the story? Change can be literally anything from "He masters the 4 elements and becomes the Avatar" to "he finally sells a cabbage". (I must be in an ATLA mood today lol)
This is an expansion of your work in step 3, and it will teach you a lot about your characters. You'll probably go back and revise steps 1-6 as your characters become “real” to you and begin making petulant demands on the story. This is good — great fiction is character-driven. Take as much time as you need to do this, because you’re just saving time downstream. (It may take a full month of solid effort to get here. Longfics are long for the authors too, y'know?)
Step 8
Take that four-page synopsis and make a list of all the scenes that you’ll need to turn the story into a proper longfic. At this point, Ingermanson suggests using a spreadsheet (like Excel). Keep in mind this method was written in 2002, so yeah.
He says to make a spreadsheet detailing the scenes from your four-page plot outline:
one line for each scene
one column for the POV character
another (wide) column saying what happens
(optional): more columns that tell you how many pages you expect to write for the scene
Note: If you have something like Scrivener, you can do something similar by making a file for each scene and noting the POV character, what happens, and so on in the Notes window.
If you use the spreadsheet method, you’ll want to make new versions of the story spreadsheet as you progress. Ingermanson suggests determining what scenes go in which chapters after you’re done; I like to do it as I go (since Scrivener lets me drag and drop anyway).
Step 9
Ingermanson says this is optional, but I thought I would include it anyway.
Switch back to your word processor and begin writing a narrative description of the story. Take each line of the spreadsheet and expand it to a multi-paragraph description of the scene. Put in any cool lines of dialogue you think of, and sketch out the essential conflict of that scene. If there’s no conflict, you’ll know it here. Ingermanson says that every scene should have conflict, but for fanfiction I disagree. Nothing wrong with a little fluff now and then :D
Step 10
Start the real first draft of the fic! About midway through a first draft (or if you get writer’s block) take a break and fix all the broken parts of your design docs from all the previous steps, if needed. Nothing left after that than to polish—if you want to!
...Phew that was longer than I thought it was, but I'm glad I got it out there! :D If this was any help to anyone, let me know! (And check out Ingermanson's website, too. It's mostly geared toward novelists that want to get published, and he does sell some books and things, but most of the stuff on his site is free! That's how I wrote all this in the first place! :D)
I haven't written a Merwaine fic in ages, but I swear I'm about to do so, because what do you mean there's people going into an artist's asks AGAIN and bullying them for liking this ship and not liking Merthur? (A tale as old as time, from what I remember of this fandom, sadly.)
Regardless, I am actually livid over this.
Look, Merthur is fine. It's a ship that exists, but here's the thing - people of all sorts watch the show, and it's not going to appeal to everyone. Being an asshole about a ship ALSO isn't going to make someone like it more. Everyone is allowed to like what they like. Your dislike of what someone else enjoys SHOULDN'T be their problem.
Instead what you can do if you don't ship something -
1. Block the tags or whoever you need to for your own peace of mind and to curate your fandom experience. YOU are responsible for what you see, at the end of the day.
2. Don't engage with the fan works regarding them UNLESS you can be kind to the people who do enjoy it. (I don't GAF what ship it is, so don't even try that, because it doesn't matter.)
3. Leave the REAL LIFE PEOPLE who are behind the screens ALONE. No character or ship is ever worth bullying someone over. It's disgusting, and I hope whoever has been doing this finds a hobby that isn't tearing other people down.
NOTPs are a thing, but that doesn't mean you go around harassing people who ship yours.
Where Merlin, prince of the druids, son of King Balinor the dragonlord, has his life change when a blonde boy arrives trying to slay a dragon in their care.
Shortly after, that same boy saves his life from some bandits and gets appointed as his servant. Merlin is really happy about it for some reason, that may have to do with all the magical tasks he ask the servant to complete and he is unable to do.
Secretly though, Arthur Pendragon has escaped his kingdom and accepted this life cause he wants to take his father's throne after he sent his sweet sister, Morgana, to the dungeons when she displayed magic abilities, and he needs to gain the druids trust to attempt an attack.
Cue to learning about the 'non-magic-druids' in the place that become their friends and the 'not-as-powerful' sorcerers that follow Merlin like he is more capable of magic than the magic trick of butterflies he summons for fun in his free time.
