This is for the people who didn’t party in their teens and twenties. For the people who didn’t have that “coming of age” movie experience with shenanigans and revelations. This is for the people who mostly keep to themselves. Who maybe prefer things to be quieter and gentler. This is for the people who don’t feel like they belong in a culture that values loud parties and flashing lights. I see you. And you are valid.
a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
I’m having feelings about Katara v Pakku again, and the fact that at this point in the series, Katara has never been in a fight that wasn’t to the death. Every fight she’s ever been in has had world-ending stakes. She’s not shooting to kill Pakku because she’s weaker and less trained than him - though she is - she’s shooting to kill because she doesn’t know any other way to fight. Friendly sparring, or fighting as a spectator sport, has not been a part of this girl’s life. Pakku’s fighting Katara to put troublesome teenagers in their place; Katara’s fighting Pakku because they’ll all die if Pakku doesn’t pull his head out of his ass and train the Avatar.
Pakku is genuinely surprised to see his own reflection in that disc of ice Katara shoots right past his face. If he hadn’t dodged, it would have sliced his head right open. He starts putting actual effort in after that.
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”
When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself.
How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”
I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”
I did not find my husband in this way.
In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”
“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.
The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)
Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.
I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English.
When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.
“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”
“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”
Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG
My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…
I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.
That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.
Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.
She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.
American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)
Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)
Does everyone know the prime minister who promised to fuck the country?
So in Biblical Hebrew the word for penis and weapon are the same. There is a verb meaning to arm, which modern Hebrew semanticly drifted into “fuck”: i.e. give someone your dick.
The minister was making a speech while a candidate, bemoning the state of the world. “The Soviet Union is fucking Egypt. Germany is fucking Syria. The Americans are fucking everyone. But who is fucking us? When I am prime minister, I will ensure we are fucked!”
Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.
Oh yeah and one time my Latin professor was at this conference in Greece and his flight was canceled, so he needed to extend his hotel stay by one more night.
Except he doesn’t speak a lick of modern Greek, and the receptionist couldn’t speak English. Or French. Or German. Or Italian. (He tried all of them.)
Finally, in a fit of inspiration, he went upstairs and got his copy of Medea in the original Greek (you know, the stuff separated from modern Greek by two and a half thousand years). He found the passage where Medea begs Jason to let her stay for one more day, went downstairs, and read it to the receptionist.
She laughed her head off, but she gave him the extra night.
God I do just wish there’d been a song that combined Julie’s pop roots with Sunset Curve’s garage rock vibes. Like the lyrics and singing style are more pop, but the backing is just 100% rock
Just a full on fusion of 90s alt rock and 2020s pop to really highlight how the different histories of the band go together
A game where you answer 15 questions and tag 15 mutuals (or however many, I guess. No pressure to do it for anyone I've tagged--questions will be below the line). I was tagged by @nblizzieforbes so thank you for that!
Are you named after someone?
No, but my middle name comes from someone a few generations back!
2. When was the last time you cried?
Uhhh, a few weeks back when some major stuff happened at work I guess?
3. Do you have kids?
No, and I think helping out with camps and also working in retail stores which see a lot of kids destroying things... probably not ever gonna be a thing, but who knows what the future holds.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Maybe? What counts as a lot though?
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
Currently: soccer, horse riding. In the past: lacrosse, hockey, and does ballet count? No idea.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Hair probably? Maybe clothing if it's bright?
7. What's your eye colour?
Brown
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy, always.
9. Any special talents?
Quick typing for sure! Maybe writing.
10. Where were you born?
At a hospital!
11. What are your hobbies?
Writing, reading, sports (soccer/horse riding)
12. Do you have any pets?
Two dogs and some fish!
13. How tall are you?
Always wishing I was taller to be honest
14. Favourite subject in school?
Definitely depends on when... I enjoyed English/Literature sometimes, but we also did a fun games coding class one semester. But I also had some good uni classes, so, y'know, I'd probably say lit and whatnot even if I hated the books majority of the time. We got some cool arguments I guess.
15. Dream job?
Writing but like. making money from it to survive without any additional stress. We did say dream jobs, not real ones.
@catkin-morgs @juliathephantom @dragonsampersanddragons @kaltehertz @g-arya @silverutahraptor @nighthunterdeath @astro-nao now beginning to fall asleep so that will be all for tonight As always, no pressure to do it!
A game where you answer 15 questions and tag 15 mutuals (or however many, I guess. No pressure to do it for anyone I've tagged--questions will be below the line). I was tagged by @silent-silver-slip so thank you for that!
Are you named after someone?
my mom's grandpa (first name) and my dad's mom (middle name)
2. When was the last time you cried?
like 2 days ago watching sad clips from disney channel movies on youtube
3. Do you have kids?
NO THANK YOU
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Maybe? What counts as a lot though?
5. What sports do you play/have you played?
does chess count?
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
dunno
7. What's your eye colour?
depends on my shirt color/the lighting/the phase of the moon
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy, always.
9. Any special talents?
knitting!
10. Where were you born?
At a hospital!
11. What are your hobbies?
Writing, reading, knitting, crocheting
12. Do you have any pets?
Two dogs but they live with my parents too far away.
13. How tall are you?
uh... 5'4?
14. Favourite subject in school?
I took a class called "crafts" in high school. it was amazing.
15. Dream job?
Knitting but like. making money from it to survive without any additional stress. We did say dream jobs, not real ones.
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
jacobvanloon
areudirty
vaporwave
izzy806
