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@faithfromanewperspective
if anyone's noting inaccuracies in my positivity post, I've tried to fix them but I think it got out before I got the chance. anyway, the source for 2.9 degrees of warming is here, I've not worded it the best because honestly I'm struggling to find recent science, but it's right at the top of page 34 if anyone is interested.
Source
Some good news!
This is the Google Drive where I am uploading chapters after I've finished my third edit, and my husband has finished his.
I will continue to upload chapters to this drive.
Even after publishing and officially selling the book, it will continue to be available for free. At that point, I will do a combined PDF of the book and I will look in offering epub docs in case people want the book on their ereader.
If you'd like to see the final chapter list, you can check below the read more! (I'll also try and edit to link the individual documents for the chapters once they're uploaded.)
One of my favorite things about having a degree in biochemistry is going undercover at a store like Sephora. I can read the composition of the cosmetics and actually understand them. There’s no words to describe how great it feels. It’s like being in on an inside joke or secret
The main thing I observe is that a lot of employees recommend makeup that is chemically incompatible. For example, if you ask them to recommend you a foundation and concealer, a lot of times they’ll pick two products that are chemically immiscible, so they’ll NEVER blend together successfully.
Generally foundation/concealer is either water or silicone based. There are upsides to each based on your needs. However, water and silicone are immiscible, and so if your foundation is water based but your concealer is silicone based, you will never get a good blend between these products. You’ll have to go back to switch to something that works.
If you want to test for this in-store, mix the two on the back of your hand. If they form a uniform mixture, they’re miscible. If they separate, they’re chemically incompatible, and should not be used together. You can do this for any number of skin products. Primers, moisturizers, foundations, concealers, contour sticks, etc etc. Anything that comes in liquid or paste form.
You don’t need to understand all the chemicals on the label to run this experiment!
As someone in pharmaceutical sciences I also experience similar things, so a hint from me: collagen is useless. In a cream it will not penetrate the skin, so doesn't do anything. As a food supplement, lemme tell you a secret: collagen is a protein. And when you eat protein, your stomach thinks its food and chops it up, so it can be used to make your own protein. Collagen is just expensive protein powder, and doesn't do anything meat or a veggie substitute does.
so sorry to point this out but this looks v much like ai especially since while the language on the display comes remarkably close, it is absolutely not real swedish. (trash would be skräp not skråp, tack should be written with a simple a not an ä, the letter ë does not exist in swedish etc etc)
Ok so I think the image is probably AI which would explain these language mistakes, but the message seems to be based on a real Swedish startup which developed these machines. Apparently, the project was not developed any further by the municipality, though.
didnt they stop this cause the crows would steal cigarettes etc off people smoking and minding their own business like an ibis stealing chips
Listen I get it but you CANNOT use "sensory nightmare" as an excuse to avoid essential things. You HAVE to find a way to make it work, such as finding effective alternatives. But you can't just avoid it.
You need to eat some vegetables in your diet or you will become a lich.
You have to wear a life jacket or you will literally drown and die.
You need to be able to exist in public spaces with children.
You have to find a way.
good LORD the piss is flying all over the place in that comment section! If you're poor do NOT leave your house you're definitely gonna get caught in the crossfire.
it's like, yes, you don't HAVE to do those things. you can just go so hard in terms of meeting your sensory needs that you fail to meet other human needs, and possibly die, possibly put yourself in a position that's even worse for your sensory needs due to injuries you acquire as a result. but you have to be aware of the trade-off you're making--and it's something we do deserve the autonomy for, but our goal is to create a world where people are aware of their sensory needs but also are accommodated well enough that they can push outside their normal tolerated threshold for small amounts of time, when it's something that will prevent worse consequences. And our goal in recovering from the trauma of being put through too many sensory nightmares, too often, as a child, should be to be able to make that trade-off and know that it's just a few things, that's okay, it doesn't mean we're going to be back in that world where our sensory needs were so badly unmet that it trumped all other needs that our bodies have--because they weren't something we ever had a visceral image of going unmet. We hyperfixate on the fears we have, and it often makes the things we do to placate them actually create more risks we just don't have the mental capacity to properly weigh up.
meeting the sensory needs of adults around me was something i bent myself over backwards to do as a child, made me so hyper-aware of how to accommodate others it took a quarter century to even figure out what my own sensory needs are. and i can say looking back at people i still love--one day you're gonna be my grandma, dealing with health complications of only eating certain foods, you're gonna be put into a position where the only way to make sure you don't die is a sensory nightmare in of itself. she's only now discovering her sensory profile that the rest of us spent decades tiptoeing around, and something that was meant to support her recovery is just being used as another excuse, another reason, fully justified in her head, to avoid doing things that will be uncomfortable yes but ultimately good for her body.
it's easy for us internet folk to dismiss things as 'old people problems' or say we won't live that long anyway, but she was 50 when i was born. not much older than many of us, and the age my mother is now. young, sprightly, and I watched that time go by and I watched ultimately unsuccessful attempts to accommodate for herself even before any of us knew what neurodivergence was. and the reason they failed is because she didn't weigh up what was something she had to tolerate for her own greater good or could afford to prioritise her sensory needs in. it was all or nothing, either deserving nothing good or being so desperate she needed the world and laws of physics to bend to meet her own sensory needs. we have a world of trade-offs and science and good inventions like seatbelts and vaccines and also a world where most people are kind and want to make people's lives easier, and though that wasn't many of our experience, that includes sensory things. ear protection, the ability to control our own lighting, choose which ecosystem we live in. the world has enough room for you to meet your sensory needs 95% of the time so you have the energy to endure that 5% where they have to come secondary to other needs like nutrition and safety and also--this is a big one for me--the sensory and relational needs of your children who often will contradict your own.
that all said, life jackets are great and the safer option 99.9% of the time but please NEVER wear one when jumping off a cliff of reasonable height (think, metres not feet) into water, it will hit your head at speed and knock you out and it's concerning how many people on tumblr don't know how dangerous that is. This is a metaphor for how something that's good for you the vast majority of the time can be WAY MORE DANGEROUS in specific situations.
learn to recognise what they are.
Guy who has bad executive functioning: there's just something so erotic about symbiosis, depending on someone else, sharing responsibilities, not having to think about your schedule...
you put into words the dysphoria i feel with academia. sorry i'd rather die than engage in this culture of supremacy i seem to have no choice in (and was forced on me as a child) and it now means i don't work in fields i have degrees in! i'm so glad i became a hairdresser but lowkey just wanna spend my life making everything i've learned accessible for the public (have fantasies of teaching so well it makes universities worthless). rip to my student debt tho, but i'd rather share my story of how i struggled than have to shut up about it
💜💜💜
I feel you. maybe someday we can figure out a way to Free the Information
Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
Ok but How Do I Do That
Learn strategies for enhancing self-regulation skills, and discover the benefits of mastering this essential life skill to help emotional dy
There are many techniques (also, there are drugs)
Thank you, but do you have any advice for teens?
So my FIRST piece of information if you’re still a teen is that genuinely as you get older it will get easier to regulate your emotions. During adolescence our brains are undergoing a lot of growth and change that genuinely does make it harder to do this, on a scientific level. However, practicing emotional regulation skills can still help a lot and if you can find something that works it will make life easier going forward
This page has more information and recommendations for some basic exercises:
Discover effective strategies for teens to manage intense emotions, develop emotional awareness, and improve overall well-being. Expert tips
The struggle of articulating my experiences as someone who is highly verbal in ways that are typically perceived as "intellect," while EXTREMELY disabled in virtually every other respect, is so hard, bc almost everyone else who seems to be trying to do it is falling into the massive rhetorical ravine that is "over-identifying with the identity of Being Smart because that's the only avenue available to me which gives me societal value" and "implying that because many people and institutions would benefit from valuing my perspective, the way my brain works must be somehow superior to how other brains work."
Neurodivergence is an important framework because it centers the fact that human society benefits from having individuals whose minds interpret information in a variety of ways, and whose experiences of moving through the world take a variety of shapes. My mind/experience is one of them, and it is one that is undervalued in my society. It is by no means the only type of mind/experience that is undervalued. It would be societally beneficial for those of us with undervalued neurotypes to be respected and consulted more about the things that shape our society. Superiority and supremacy don't have a place in these discussions.
I've been thinking a LOT about humans' species specific social needs lately, and have this half formed idea about transness as an expression of autonomy in a society which does not meet our autonomy needs. like, everything we do is about a different thing, and I am really starting to think that the different thing is usually unmet species specific needs. and you can see this in many different communities, I was just talking abt this with some friends who converted to judaism and expressed that they felt similarly about that. bc like, really crucially like... trans and queer stuff, as well as conversion to a minority religion, ideally puts you in a community of people who are seeking autonomy in the same way. they are usually motivated by a wide range of more superificial things, but underlying that ... the actual rejection of societal expectations can meet a need, regardless of how that rejection is expressed, and because rejecting societal expectations is punished, it is important for us to have supportive communities to help us protect each other from that punishment and rejection.
and Kuzu said also something really smart about how rejection can also be like... embracing as a positive something people ascribe to you as a negative, e.g. trans women who were bullied for being "too girly" etc. where society is like "these are traits and experiences and ways of moving through the world and identifying with people that you should be ashamed of" and the rejection is then, "no, I won't be ashamed of it, and actually I'm going to build a whole life around honoring and loving the person that I am, with other people who also honor and love this about me and themselves"
and then ALFIE said this other really smart thing where he was contrasting like, transness to his conversion to judaism and he said, "i really think the seeking out community is a huge part of this, and that's why i think especially trans communities that are not intergenerational in the same ways can be sort of crab buckets. like, the interruption of intergenerational queer community & the fact that queerness is randomly distributed across the population is i think very damaging and is part of why it can be very hard to manage all that. there are things that you can learn not just from institutional memory but like, how things like institutional memory works." my friends are so smart. I am often thinking this about forms of marginalization that map onto "ethnicity" type lines and those that do not. this is true also of many types of disability, I think, particularly neurodivergence communities online where people are (often understandably, considering neurotypes) looking for hard and fast Rules and Identities that isolate us generationally. i have a very hard time relating to many younger autists, for example, and I'm only 38. (edit oh my God I wrote 34? I'm not 34. i'm 38. today is a bad cognition day) but we allow our very different experiences of neurodivergence and disability to make us suspicious of others whose experiences of those things looks different or has resulted in different life outcomes. often I think this ties into class in a big way but that's another post entirely, probably. but I think that beyond being annoying or toxic or whatever, this is actually quite bad for people because it is bad for people to have to feel they are a Brand New Thing that No One Understands. it is socially beneficial to feel and believe and KNOW that you are part of a community through time, you're a type of person who has always been present in human societies, there have always been people like you, and how they live was and is usually entirely determined by the social attitudes around The Way They Were/Are. being in contact with people who provide cultural continuity between yourself and this history of People Like You is extraordinarily socially beneficial.
anyway. uh. autonomy. very important human need. one that some people suffer from lack of it more than others. I suffer from lack of it EXTREMELY in ways that produce a type of distress that is EXTREMELY punished societally. because autonomy is not considered to be an important need by the society I live in.
y'all I am so sleepy
queer people who have done zero self reflection when they see someone who doesn't look fem in their space
ACTUALLY FUCKING THO
#the bioessentialism is gross and inescapable#‘oh i’m just not comfortable around this person bc i don’t know them!’#is that it? or is it that they’re masculine presenting and you only think of non-binary people as girl lite
Its a real shame that sinful has essentially come to mean 'full culpable and worthy of punishment' bc i think it also severely diminishes our ability to make a theological account of how sin recruits people to be complicit in their own destruction. if its sinful to hurt others, then its sinful to hurt yourself, because you matter just as much as anyone else. but you cant even really bring the sin language into that general vicinity bc of the constant stigmatising use of sinful to mean 'you need to be punished for doing this' rather than 'we are suffering from distortions and corruption and can act in ways that worsen this'.
TW: Rape
"That just means he likes you."
Teachers often say this when a boy makes a girl uncomfortable. This is especially true if the boy is neurodivergent.
This hurts both the girl and the boy.
It hurts the girl because it shows that no one will protect her boundaries and that anything he does to a girl is okay as long as it's motivated by liking her, which easily eventually normalizes rape.
It hurts the boy because he continues to make girls uncomfortable, continues to give girls reasons to not like him, but grows up thinking he's doing nothing wrong so he ends up disliked by girls and unaware of why.
If you're a teacher and you want to acknowledge the possibility that he's making her uncomfortable because he likes her, there's a better way. Give him a punishment that's enough to show that what he did is wrong and make him afraid to do it again but not enough to permanently ruin his life. Explain to him the right way to pursue interactions with someone who he likes. For example, explain to him how to read signs of interest and signs of disinterest. Explain to him how to start with the default setting then slowly experiment in order to test someone's boundaries. Explain to him the scenarios in which a seemingly uncomfortable action would be okay (being mean to someone as a joke when you have a close friendship with them and have both established consent to the kind of relationship in which you both play mean jokes on each other is okay, being mean to someone as a joke otherwise is just mean). Explain to him that individual rejection (not liking someone because of personal tastes) is fully within someone's rights but systemic rejection (expecting others to not like someone because of personal tastes) is an act of oppression. Explain to him that the subset of people who like him is going to be random, which is true for everyone, and that he has to choose who he interacts with from within that subset, not try to convince someone who doesn't like him to start liking him.
as a teen, i was constantly harassed by adults enforcing ''dress codes'' on me. I very much experienced this as sexual harassment. I think this is one of many cases where people would more easily understand this as sexual harassment if I described it as if it happened to an adult.
imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.
this was my experience at school. replace supervisor with "teacher" and boss with "principal." this was sexual harassment. fuck dress codes.
If you are neurodivergent (editing to add: I mean ANY degree of neurodivergence, whether you were aware of it in childhood or not, whether professionally diagnosed or not,) I highly recommend following professional children's disability advocates who are themselves neurodivergent
and these can be like, occupational therapists, speech pathologists, whoever. Anyone who works in what might be called "special ed," who is neurodivergent.
Because they will be posting ALL of the things about what neurodivergent kids benefit from in an educational setting and what is harmful to them. That's their job, and they're uniquely good at spotting those patterns bc they share many experiences with the kids themselves, and once WERE THEMSELVES disabled kids in an educational setting. They Know what options/accommodations/interventions feel like and what they needed and did not get. AND, they used that experience as motivation to learn as much as possible about learning and child development and what kids actually need, from an expert standpoint.
They'll tell you exactly why what happened at school hurt you. Because they know. and they know what alternatives might have actually supported you instead of traumatizing you!
Reading about this is extraordinarily triggering for me, to be clear.
But I do it, because when I am reading about best practices, it immediately becomes clear the gap between that and what I received growing up. The advocates explain WHY kids benefit from one setup and are harmed by another. I can absolutely tell immediately what specific aspects of my childhood and upbringing were the most traumatic to me based on the extremity of my reaction to the content. I can gauge that by tracking my emotional reactions to reading about varying specific topics or situations, and the ways that adults might handle those situations. Because whenever I was made to feel like the way it happened was the only possible way it COULD happen, and told I was weak and broken and not trying hard enough for desperately needing something different? They were lying.
We now know that they were lying. There were other ways to do it that would have had my own experience and wellbeing in mind. Ways that would not have damaged me so profoundly during such a crucial developmental period in my life. Often the solutions posed by advocates are ways that I was advocating for AT THE TIME, AS A CHILD -- the number of "best practices" I read nowadays that are just LISTS OF THINGS I EXPLICITLY ASKED OR BEGGED FOR. I swear to fucking god.
um
Anyway. If you related to my last post about school trauma, here is some actionable advice. I like NeuroWild and Destiny Huff (on fb and insta) for starting out, and you can find and follow other people doing that work through them, hopefully.
I joke about it being humiliating to be traumatized because "my parents made me go to school" but I am extremely serious that school trauma can ABSOLUTELY be some of the most damaging childhood trauma. Schools are not built to serve children, and they're especially not built to serve any children who fall outside of certain very specific parameters, who happen not to thrive under the way the education system works.
This is the root of everything wrong with academia -- the way our entire society approaches both 1. child rearing and 2. education are, from a prosocial and literally human-centric perspective (I think of this as Social Ergonomics,) some of the least effective and most harmful ways of doing those things.
Many, many people are stuck in their lives because of what they do not realize is school trauma. It is very rare even in childhood trauma spaces to discuss school trauma, because it is a type of trauma which inherently requires people to question the entire foundation of some of our least questioned Systems. Institutional trauma is extremely hard to discuss, because it rests at the intersection of 'discussions of interpersonal abuse and trauma' and 'sociology-focused institutional justice frameworks' which are things that do not often overlap.
This is why it is helpful to learn about institutional justice/advocacy/liberation frameworks AS WELL as learning about interpersonal abuse dynamics. Many people who are survivors of institutional abuse, who have a concept of what abuse is but do not have a framework for what it looks like in a dynamic other than intimate interpersonal abuse, are unable to recognize themselves as having been abused. That's why I tell people to read about mad pride, prison abolition, youth rights, etc. To recognize your own trauma as trauma requires recognition of the ways in which our society routinely traumatizes people.
at some point I'm going to have to face how humiliating some of my worst trauma is. like to have significant trauma from what could be uncharitably, but accurately, described as "my parents made me go to school"
i hate this. about being autistic. i fucking HATE IT
