real life trafficking survivor

T / 25 / trauma blog / she/her

[fakestorysurvivor]

DNI: minors (go play outside, kids) feds, pigs, bootlickers, rats (go play in a minefield, losers) hateful mfs of all varieties (terfs especially included)

CW: The sex trafficking thing is not a joke, although I'm down to treat it like one. I'm gonna talk about it. You ain't getting insider information but you'll get insider opinions.

I've got some wild stories, stay tuned.

[fakestorysurvivor]

big life update: my memoir is going to an editor

I had a meeting this week with an editor who I expected to say, in the very best case scenario, "I'll think about it and get back to you."

But what they actually said was, "yes."

I am terrified of doing this. I've never wanted attention and I've certainly never wanted shock or pity or shame. But I do think I have something special here, maybe something important. I've been sitting on this project tryna convince myself I don't need validation, I don't care, it's too late anyway, but I can't keep lying to myself. I know I'm good at what I do. I'm letting myself take this first, tiny step.

I'm trying not to be too excited but I'm so excited. And so nervous.

But it's oughtta my hands now. We'll see what happens next. Root for me, y'all.

[fakestorysurvivor]

as a survivor the only thing that y'all talking about the epstein files does is make my youtube homepage unusable and triggering for like 48hrs til y'all get distracted again. you can stop. it's fine.

[fakestorysurvivor]

Update: i've had mono. i've been mostly resting away from the internet.

Mono fucking sucks. I've somehow never had it before. And I've got no idea how I got it this time (I think it's a karmic joke because I was so triggered and pissed off by the Epstein files, so I immediately contracted the Epstein-Barr virus)

I reached out to my one friend-with-benefits who I'd hooked up with soon before my diagnosis to let them know, and they went, "so? you dont kiss on the mouth." THE CALLOUT. HOW DARE YOU. lmao they're so right.

[fakestorysurvivor]

I miss you mootie! Thinking of you, hope you are holding up okay in this hellscape of an existence we were made to suffer through. 🌹

SO KIND THANK YOU. I hope you are too!

I've been off the internet for a while and I hopped back on here to several messages like this (and if I didn't get back to you personally i'm sorry- THANK YOU)

I have been sick (physically) for a while but I'm finally feeling better. My presence here will probably remain sparse. But know I've learned so much from y'all and the validation has been incredibly valuable and affirming.

[fakestorysurvivor]

"it's ok to be angry, you just gotta control yourself."

yeah for sure. it's ok to be a man, too. you just gotta control yourself.

I don’t wanna control myself. I want the same courtesy all the men who ever put hands on me got. 

That’s just how it be sometimes. Sometimes you just can’t control yourself. Sometimes a bitch with an attitude just pushes your buttons. Sometimes a hoe is asking for it. Two can play that game.

[whatbigotspost]

Gen Z men twice as likely as boomers to say wives should "always obey"

“It is troubling to see that attitudes towards gender equality are not more positive," said Julia Gillard of King’s College London.

[whatbigotspost]

@ theskimm on instagram highlighted more of the poll findings

For the US part…we had like 1.5 whole generations of women being allowed to build credit, own property, get abortions, be able to prosecute their husbands who rape them, and almost equal workforce participation and so many men have apparently lost their fucking minds about it. I’ll never understand.

[zendayaimdb]

i’m not ever surprised by men being evil, so only 53% of gen z women identifying as feminist is the most shocking statistic to me. i mean, the evidence for this is all around us, with seemingly every other young woman aspiring to be a pilates tradwife, but it is still unbelievably depressing. as feminists we cannot ignore how staunchly antifeminist young women are now—and it will only get worse with gen alpha.

[fakestorysurvivor]

Thinking about how as the Boomer generation is aging this absolute shitshow fuckfest we’re living thru is probably only get worse before it gets better.

Because the Boomers are gonna die. They have to die. They’ve spent decades monopolizing power in such a way as to cling on to it as long as possible- but they can’t beat death. And I genuinely think that a lot of this is stupid, sadistic, rich men freaking tf out at their morality. The likes of Trump and Musk and etc. are throwing temper tantrums because they’re mortal. They want legacy above all else. They’d rather be remembered as the man who killed the world rather than not be remembered at all. It’s sick and it’s pathologically selfish and it’s gonna literally get millions of people killed. Just because some dumb, rich, white man couldn’t face the death he deserves.

Don’t let anybody tell you you ain’t got the right to be angry about it.

[fakestorysurvivor]

every time I try to commiserate about feeling so angry rn everybody tells me “you gotta learn to control it”

Bullshit. Men gotta learn to control it cuz anger is the emotion men are allowed to feel. To the extent they don’t even register it as an emotion. They learn all these platitudes about “control yourself” because they’re prone to beating their wives and shit.

I’ve never hit anyone. I’ve never punched a hole in a wall. My anger never hurts anybody but myself.

Bullshit control it. Learn to use it. I’m not swallowing rage anymore I’m embracing it. I’m not controlling myself.

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[p0ltergeistsworld]

I can't describe how much I love this poem. I want to hug it.

[darkaviarymc]

Tragedy alignment chart. Feel free to use, but please reblog if you do.

[mikkeneko]

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in

[mynameisrocks]

[charlesoberonn]

[fakestorysurvivor]

cuz the thing about being homeless is that you don’t have any obligation beyond to survive. you dont owe nothing to nobody.

get raped? no big deal, nobody’s expecting you to pay up. you can just take the L and keep moving.

robbed? Who cares? nobody’s gonna yell at you about it.

Walk 10 miles in the wrong direction? no biggie, turn around, nobody’s gonna beat you for it.

starving? So what? nobody can hear you and nobody cares.

I was real good at it. and turns out I’m real shit at everything else.

[fakestorysurvivor]

I’ve been trying so hard. Ive been being so patient. It’s crashout time fuck it

and the next time you hear from me I’ll be a dropout with a buzz cut again

[fakestorysurvivor]

the things you've been through don't have to define you, don't have to break you, can make you stronger. sure. but the things you witness only make you worse.

you absorb the things you exist around. you are changed by the places you exist inside. that's what gets me. that's what bothers me when I'm tryna sleep. it's guilt and it's rage and it's rage and it's guilt and it keeps not getting better. and I keep moving. I keep trying.

[fakestorysurvivor]

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be growing up rn. In this world. In this country.

Imagine going to sixth grade rn. Imagine being a 12 year old girl looking at the future rn. We better be so good to these kids. We better listen when they grow up and reflect on what it was like to feel like they had no future, what it was like to see your parents going thru fcking ai psychosis, what is was like to be poisoned by brainrot since they were toddlers, what is was like to go thru puberty at the end of the world. That’s gotta fucking suck. We better have empathy for em.

I aint wanna hear no whining bout kids these days. Who was it who built this world theyre forced to live in?

[ronedob-deactivated20220805]

stop using the “this will only stop safe abortions” argument against conservatives. they know and are fine with women dying a bloody death for trying to get an abortion. for them it’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

[radlymona-deactivated20230319]

I feel like so many activists really need to change the narrative from simply, “these right-wingers aren’t actually pro-life. They don’t care about children, if they did they would fund public schooling, maternal care, strengthen gun laws etc.”

To, “Right-wingers actively seek to destroy the female class by trapping them in endless cycles of pregnancy, childbirth, and resulting financial destitution. They do not want women holding important positions in society including, doctors, lawyers, government roles, and other civil society positions which take years to obtain the needed degrees for, and further time to secure job roles which pregnancy and motherhood often interrupts for long periods of time (sometimes forever). They want to punish women for daring to organise for their rights from the second wave of feminism and beyond, by forcing them to undergo bodily harm via pregnancy and childbirth. They are glad that the childbirth mortality rate is high (especially among Black women) because they fundamentally consider childbirth an act that should be forced on women because they are simply are women, predestined to be punished by the Patriarchy. ‘Pro-lifers’ are anti-abortionists who fundamentally want women and girls suffer.”

[fakestorysurvivor]

back in 2016 everybody acted like i was a lunatic for saying that this country would never elect a woman. by 2024 i think folks were getting my point.

i hope lately its become clear that this deeply entrenched hatred of women isn't something thats gonna be gotten over. we will elect a gay Mexican man before a woman. women are quite literally not people in the eyes of a large subset of americans, including women themselves. it is what it is. you gotta be honest about it so you can start dealing with it.