Phantogram Three
#extradirty
Today's Document
@theartofmadeline
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
Fieri Frames
Product Placement
blake kathryn
Keni
Claire Keane
Kiana Khansmith
izzy's playlists!
$LAYYYTER
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tumblr dot com
Show & Tell
seen from India
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@familiarspark
been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter
Tags via @deadpanwalking, editor and ass-kicker extraordinaire
Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say
> looking at a new popular collectible
> ask the people if it's objects or gambling
> they don't understand
> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling
> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"
> look up how to buy a collectible
> its gambling
> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!
Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.
There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!
You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.
The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha
That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.
I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.
Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND IT’S BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!
Terry was a professional writer from the age of 17. He worked as a journalist which meant that he had to learn to research, write and edit his own work very quickly or else he’d lose his job.
He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terry’s iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.
The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? “Don’t start with Colour of Magic.”
It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because it’s not that great. Don’t get me wrong, very good book, although I’ll be honest I’ve never been able to finish it, but it’s nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.
He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died. He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimer’s could steal it from him. He wouldn’t want that joy stolen from you too.
Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasn’t good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him that he wasn’t good enough. And he wouldn’t want you to think you aren’t good enough. He especially wouldn’t want to be the reason why you think you aren’t good enough.
You’re not Terry Pratchett.
You are you.
And Terry would love that.
I only ever had a chance to talk to Terry Pratchett once, and that was in an autograph line. I’d bought a copy of The Carpet People, which was his very first book, and he looked at it with a faint air of concern. “You realise that I wrote that when I was very young,” he said, in warning.
“Yes,” I said. “But I like seeing how authors grow.”
He brightened and reached for his pen. “That’s all right then,” he said, and signed.
Like so many, Terry told me and my friend we’d done good and to keep going, when we sent him our Cripple Mr Onion game.
A real gentleman: He’d never tell you to give up.
Found an old pair of glasses that dates back 15-20 years ago—so when I was a teen/early twenties lil’ bean, and it was the 00’s or early 2010’s, and Narrow Lenses Were In, I guess?
Old glasses up top, current pair on bottom.
I just… WHOSE IDEA WAS THE NARROW-LENSE THING?? Was it Matrix brainrot? Were we just dumb??
I had to run to catch a train at dusk once. I was wearing narrow lenses with thick black frames, so as I ran, all I had was an extreme shakycam letterbox view of where I was going. Couldn't see, almost fell several times. 0/10 experience, would not recommend.
I hate wearing glasses in general, but narrow lenses perform the worst.
velvet worm? spare velvet worm for a desperate midwesterner? 🙏
ON OF THE MOST ANIMALS OF ALL TIME!!!
Velvet Worm (Euperipatoides sp.), family Peripatopsidae, QLD, Australia
photograph by Stephen Zozaya
Velvet Worm(Peripatoides novazealandiae), family Peripatopsidae, New Zealand
photograph by Frupus (Flickr)
Velvet Worm (Oroperipatus sp.), family Peripatidae, Yasuni National Park, Ecuador
photograph by Geoff Gallice
White Cave Velvet Worm (Peripatopsis alba), family Peripetopsidae, known only from two cave systems on Table Mountain, South Africa
photograph by Rodrigo Ferreira
Also, check out this video:
This Worm Uses a “Silly String of Death” | National Geographic (youtube.com)
Red Velvet Worm (Peripatus solorzanoi), family Peripatidae, Guayacán Rainforest Reserve, Costa Rica
photograph via: Guayacán Rainforest Reserve
Velvet Worm (Epiperipatus sp.), family Peripatidae, Costa Rica
photographs by Raby Núñez
thought too hard about MRI machines today and had this come to me in a vision
mri accident is literally one of my biggest anxiety freakouts. i dont care about being in the tiny loud tube, im so scared of a secret piece of metal i dont know about in my body will tear through me like a knife through butter. what if i ate a quarter in my sleep
Quarters George who eats a $10 roll of quarters every night is shredded into a fine mist my the MRI
TIME TO POST ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE IMAGES!!!!
Back when I worked at the hospital, I had to take MRI training and it was my favorite thing every time. It was only like 10 minutes long and went a little something like this:
Hey. The MRI is basically a really big magnet and by basically I mean it is and we literally never turn it off. It's like really big. Really really big and powerful and The Magnet is always on. We don't turn it off Ever, for any reason. We mean it bro, The Magnet is literally always on. It's crazy strong and will definitely kill you. So don't bring any metal into the MRI room, man. You will fuck up the machine (because The Magnet is always on) and then you will die (again, because The Magnet is always on). Here's some fun questions for you to test your understanding!
1) The ______ is always on.
2) The Magnet is ______ on.
3) How often is The Magnet on?
4) The Magnet is always __.
5) The Magnet is always on. T/F
6) The Magnet is usually on but we know to turn it off for you because you're a very special boy :) T/F
7) My weak fleshy body can survive the wrath of The Magnet. T/F
8) Look at this 500 lbs steel hospital bed, which The Magnet has crumpled into an origami crane. Imagine if that was you.
9) Is The Magnet ever off?
10) Sometimes we turn The Magnet off. T/F
Thank you for taking MRI training. We hope you learned that The Magnet is always on, because it is. It's on Right Now and it will be on every time you come to the MRI. Have fun and remember: The Magnet is always on!
I love you MRI training. The Magnet is always on.
The Gimli Glider is one of those stories where every aspect sounds more fake than the last and yet it all actually happened.
-A passenger plane was underloaded with fuel because Canada had just converted to the metric system and everyone supposed to double check their numbers got it wrong. -When the plane ran out of fuel they were too far away to make it to an in-service airport and had to head towards the Gimli military base. Which was shuttered. -They were coming in to fast due to a lack of flaps control and had to perform a series of slips (as shown in the video above) to slow down, basically drifting a giant passenger plane. -As they come down they realized that just because Gimli’s been decommissioned doesn’t mean it’s abandoned because a bunch of people are having drag races on the runway they’re about to need. -Despite everything they managed to land safely and no one was killed or even hurt which is why it’s one of the best air disasters to meme on.
The Wikipedia page on this is fantastic and my favorite line from it is “Flying with all engines out was never expected to occur, so it had never been covered in training.”
Nice
Eliot Porter. Fractured Obsidian, Landmannalauger, 1972.
“When I was a child, girls would never wear trousers. But then women’s lib came along and they started to wear them all the time. So I figured, if women are allowed to wear trousers, men should be allowed to wear skirts. That’s liberation too, right? So I started with a kilt and realised I quite liked it. After that I tried other skirts. I now I wear them regularly. Not all the time mind you - just whenever I feel like it.
People sometimes tease me and ask why I am wearing a woman’s skirt. But look at me. I am quite clearly a man. So this is not a woman’s skirt. It’s MY skirt. It’s a man’s skirt.”
Gustave Caillebotte - The Floor Scrapers (1875-6)
Original on top, later version below
“Despite the effort Caillebotte put into the painting, it was rejected by France’s most prestigious art exhibition, The Salon, in 1875. The depiction of working-class people in their trade, not fully clothed, shocked the jurors and was deemed a ‘vulgar subject matter.’
The images of the floor scrapers came to be associated with Degas’s paintings of washerwomen, also presented at the same exhibition and similarly scorned as ‘vulgar’”.
biology of a stapler
some more speculative staplings
yo i made rhis into a sweater
Want 🥺
favourite rpg trope is the merchants in incredibly hostile environments. we are at the evil curse mountain and youre just selling me items normal style
Essential worker during covid
i might have outdated information! at one point i "knew" that rabies was a mammals-only situation, is that now known to not be true?
We know so little about rabies. I know more about rabies than the vast majority of people, but in the grand scheme of things, I know nothing.
Here is what I can tell you:
•There are many viruses that cause rabies. These viruses are called Lyssaviruses, after the Greek goddess of rabies, Lyssa. Most of them are mainly seen infecting bats.
•Rabies lyssavirus is the most commonly known species because it has multiple terrestrial vectors (dogs are #1, but other vectors include mongooses, skunks, and more.)
•All mammals can get rabies, including opossums. Their body temp has nothing to do with anything.
•Some birds can get rabies. Rabies has been found naturally occurring in chicken and geese. This likely has to do with the fact that they are large enough to not die of the bite wound and live to develop rabies. Birds of prey appear to develop humoral antibodies that fight rabies and make them immune.
•There was recently two new species of lyssavirus discovered. One in green tree frogs, one in Cuban anoles. We have never seen them in a live animal, so we don’t know what their “rabies” looks like. Inactive forms of the virus have been created in labs and can infect mice.
•there are likely dozens more unknown species of lyssavirus out there that we don’t know about because we aren’t looking, and there isn’t really any funding to look.
