Summer 🎈

Daily adventures of a self hating narcissist.

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: The anticipation will have you at the edge of your seat aries. Try to occupy your mind with other things, it will make the time pass faster. If you do it well enough, you’ll forget to balance and fall out of your seat, killing you instantly.

Taurus: Money troubles Taurus? Try growing new bones and selling them to bone farmers for extra cash. If you get good enough at it, you can use wholesalers.

Gemini: You insecurities are largely unfounded. In reality, you should be stressing over the set of flaws you actually do have.

Cancer: Spice up your work day by attaching electrodes to your nipples that shock you at random intervals. Nothing makes you live in the moment like the constant threat of sudden intense pain.

Leo: Spend some time with your lover to practice for your much larger international time laundering scheme.

Virgo: If the winter is giving you trouble virgo, try dehydrating yourself and grinding yourself into a fine powdered concentrate to be rehydrated in the spring. 

Libra: The stars say it is important that you watch a couple documentaries on the history of metallurgy. The stars say to learn as much as you can about crucible steel specifically.

Scorpio: Remember at the end of the day, most problems come down to the material world. Take some comfort in knowing that most material things are not resistant to explosives. 

Ophiuchus: Do not prepare to see your reflection in the window of a chick-fil-a today and be suddenly struck with the existential horror of being trapped in a phsyical body. The sensation will fade quickly as you enjoy your sandwitch.

Sagittarius: Looks like some spiritual inspiration is on your way Sagittarius! Specifically from the Orishan diety Oko, known for hunting heretical sorcerers.

Capricorn: The stars say you’ve been busy recently. Be careful not to overload yourself! Even spending time with loved ones can be draining. Try keeping a thermos of fresh blood with you at all times.

Aquarius: Overcome your social anxiety by joining the WWE. This is the only option.

Pisces: If you’re having trouble promoting your personal projects, try breaking into peoples homes and subscribing to yourself for them! Interact with the community! Illegally! At night! Without them knowing!

[afloweroutofstone]

[thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated]

[1-800kanye]

u know whats wild. everyone on here like 20 and when i first joined everyone was like 14 15. u ask anybody n they been here for years. nobody new on here. staff locked the doors n were all Stuck Inside

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

[asthrapolaris]

Pisces moodboard: “ A queen of thieves. She sits sideways on the throne, idly twirling the crown around her finger.”

Inspired in The Royal Signs by @normal-horoscopes

[asthrapolaris]

Taurus moodboard: “ A network of sulfurous caves. Its residents never see sunlight, feeling off of the molten core and crushing weight of the sea above.”

Inspired by The Deep Signs by @normal-horoscopes

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Blood quantum jokes are literally never funny, especially when they’re coming from settlers. If you aren’t Native, stop with the fucking “1/38th Cherokee” jokes and all that bullshit. You aren’t funny or clever, you’re just making light of a colonialist tool that’s still being used today to destroy our families and communities.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Reblogging again for the day crowd and to say that non-Natives can and should reblog this. And don’t just reblog posts about it to tumblr, call it out when people around you irl do this shit. Don’t tolerate that shit.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I was just checking the tags on this and I feel like some people are missing the point. This isn’t about pretendians using blood quantum to claim cultures that aren’t theirs or whatever, it’s about non-Natives using blood quantum to determine who’s “really Native”.

When someone is pretending to be Native, it’s obvious. You can call out their racism and their lack of connection to their community and the way that they’re only Native when it’s convenient for them without contributing to the idea that your blood is what determines whether or not you’re Native.

Stop making jokes about “the white girl who’s 1/12th Cherokee” because I guarantee there’s white-passing Native people with a similar blood quantum who were raised in their cultures and communities and are still 100% Cherokee even if their blood quantum says they’re only 8% Cherokee. That’s because Native identity is based around culture and community and connection, not how much “Native blood” you have.

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Today you will learn to appreciate the small things in life after you eat what you think are several flowers and get several parasites.

Taurus: Looks like you have unfinished business to attend to Taurus. That homonculus you made in your basement isnt quite dead yet!

Gemini: As the pace of life slows down for a bit, make sure to take in all the things you would otherwise miss. The rats are absolutely organizing against you and you absolutely do need to prepare.

Cancer: A long time friend may start vomiting up small blasphemous creatures that die very quickly. This will have a negative effect on the rest of your friend group.

Leo: Remember leo, dates and times are not written in stone, unless they are, in which case you’re just fucked.

Virgo: The next step can come from the most unexpected places! Check inside your walls for tickets to a museum that closed 30 years ago and also bones. 

Libra: Trust your senses, but only your sense of taste. Lick your way through life.

Scorpio: There is very little in life you should be taking seriously right now. Except for sand. Sand is very serious for you Scorpio.

Ophiuchus: Having trouble in an academic setting? Try lying down in a field and letting insects use their tiny voices to whisper the secrets of the world to you.

Sagittarius: If you’re having mental health problems, try shaking your head so hard they fall out. Wont know it works unless you try.

Capricorn: Worry is the energy to take action! Sitting and worrying wont stop this raccoon from eating you slowly over the course of weeks.

Aquarius: Youre in luck Aquarius! The toxicology report came back. Botulinum!

Pisces: Apprehension will kill the momentum you are building! Its easier to improvise than it is to plan once you get into a rhythm but eventually you will run out of stolen blood. 

[inkskinned]

me: hmm it is a nice day. as i am filled with hubris, i will go outside and sit :)

every bug in the universe at once: crawl?????? for to crawl???????

[jumpingjacktrash]

me who likes bugs a lot: darlings it’s ok to crawl but be careful of get squish

bugs who are very smart: between page of book, i will Homestead

me: i turn page now

bugs: o my folly!

[theinvisiblemonsters]

me who understands how nature works: this is communal space but please do not crawl onto skin i cannot see

bugs: there is sweat in yonder shoulderblades and i must be the one who licks it

me: and i must be the one who slaps the tickles

bugs: alas, i am laid low by the salt!

[glumshoe]

I was just flitting around my house in a long silk robe listening to classical music while I gently placed a live fly into my pet spider’s web. Big supervillian energy…?

[jakegyllenhxck]

90s' Alt Bands Asks

Oasis: Do you wear sunglasses often? Are you a beer, wine, or liquor person? Do you prefer the stars or the moon, the land or the sea? Do you have a lot of regrets? Would you ever want to be famous?

Blur: Do you like sunny weather? Do a lot of people know about your sexuality? Are you a city or country person? Favorite brand of athletic wear? Do you like your smile?

Nirvana: Do you belive in God? Are you a flannel or sweaters person? Where’s your happy place? Do you like your family? What stereotype were/are you closest to in high school?

Red Hot Chili Peppers: Are you a go-with-the-flow person? What’s a dream you’ve had that you’ll never forget? Are you spiritual at all? What was the saddest point in your life? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Manic Street Preachers: Do you believe that humans are good? What’s your signature makeup or fashion statement? Are you a books or a movie person, and what are some of your favorites? Do you see yourself as an outcast? Are you nostalgic?

Elastica: What’s your dream car? Favorite card game? Do you consider yourself cool? Vinyl, cassettes, CDs, or digital? What’s a haircut/style you’ve always wanted to get?

Radiohead: Is there possibility of life on other planets? What’s your favorite jacket? Do you like spring, summer, fall, or winter most? Can you recognize any constellations? Are you an extrovert, an introvert, or an ambivert?

Hole: Favorite kind of candy? Do you wear skirts/dresses or jeans more? Do you think you could ever kill someone? Who’s your favorite poet? Did you ever dream of being prom queen, even secretly?

Bikini Kill: Have you even been to a protest or rally? What was your favorite outfit as a kid? Have you ever had/do you have a girl gang? In a book, movie, or video game, what would be your character’s weapon? What’s something you love about your gender, and something you feel like you’ve missed out on because of it?

Pearl Jam: What charity do you donate to (or would like to donate to) most? Do you think art should be a mode of autobiography? What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever survived? Were/are you good at school? Where’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to roadtrip?

Smashing Pumpkins: Do you feel like you unload or bottle up your emotions? Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child, and does your personality match that? Do you consider yourself ambitious? Aesthetically, what era of history most intrigues you? Do you like sunsets or sunrises, night or day?

R.E.M.: What was your biggest heartbreak? Do you like the feeling of leaving for new places, or do you get homesick fast? Are you an optimist or a pessimist, or other? Do you like jazz or classical music? Have you ever been nightswimming?

Marcy Playground: Do you like going for walks at night? What were some of your favorite childhood bands? Favorite planet in our solar system? Would you rather live in a different galaxy, or at the bottom of the ocean? What were the best days of your life?

[fancyvoidland]

recently ive been on a bit of a david tennant kick, today i found out hes in a new show

the universe is doing me well this summer 

[turing-tested]

just woke up from a six hour nap

[fancyvoidland]

me too !

[givemeastroke]

7 !!!!

7. Give one controversial music-related opinion

hmm, I think its important to separate the artist from the art. like yea they can be a creep in real life, but if they have made bangers im still gonna listen to it. but ofc if you listen to them, you’re still supporting them and whatever it might is they’ve done, shouldn’t be supported and shouldn’t be accepted. okay did I just convince myself otherwise??

[fancyvoidland]

You can illegally download an artist's music and never promote it therefore not supporting the artist's but still getting to listen to some good tunes

[fancyvoidland]

I shitpost for half an hour then dispensary for 3 weeks, if that doesnt sum up all of tumblr I dont know what does

[fancyvoidland]

i, apparrently, cannot spell disappear, so it autocoreected to sidpernsary

[fancyvoidland]

I shitpost for half an hour then dispensary for 3 weeks, if that doesnt sum up all of tumblr I dont know what does

[fancyvoidland]

my belt if pushing down on my hips and it hURTS

[fancyvoidland]

gen-z culture is wondering if you’re old enough to see R-rated movies yet

[fancyvoidland]

the answer for me is yes but for half of us its no if you consider gen-z to be 1995 to 2005, which i will because I like the crispness of multiples of fives and spans of 10