[WIP Tabletop Blog]

This is where all of my tabletop stuff will go. D&D and Pathfinder mostly. Under some major construction.

[lydiaalin]

me reading my own character’s lore after completely forgetting about it and randomly finding it on my blog

[melvinandlugnut]

Roleplay heavy d&d campaigns hate him: local DM destroys his whole party with this one simple trick

[thepleasuregoblin]

[melvinandlugnut]

This is the best addition possible and it happened so fast I’m convinced you’re a real mind flayer

[imaneea]

MY FIRST ANIMATIC HELL YEAH

A scene from her time on the Throne where she confronted the local high priest that had put a ban on non-faithful from stepping onto the island.

She tried to take it outside.

[probablygoodrpgideas]

The “Necromancy is evil“ we see in most fantasy worlds stems from a christian view of having to honor the body after death in a certain way to ensure the soul’s safety in the afterlife. And while I encourage you to explore societies that don’t see necromancy as evil, I also encourage you to explore societies that see necromancy as evil for different reasons.

Drow might believe that after death, your body belongs to Lolth and must be fed to spiders. Reanimating a body means stealing from Lolth and must therefore be punished.

A Zoroastrian inspired society might believe that with death, evil starts infesting the body, so dead bodies must be kept away from the community, and reanimating them keeps them in the community and is therefore bad.

[probablygoodrpgideas]

Help the christians found this post and are weirdly mad about it

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Hi consider this your blessing from a certified forever GM, to please make your TTRPG characters Mary Sues.

Listen if you spend enough time in the hobby you will inevitably get people turning up their nose, saying you need to make your PCs “realistic”. These people are wrong! Especially when it comes to DnD. There’s nothing wrong with tropes but after a while all the human fighters who used to be in the army, and elf wizard trying to live up their family legacy start to blur together.

The same cannot be said for the diamond-skinned demi-goddess cleric who started her prayers with “Hey mom, it’s me”; the self-described “slutty pyromaniac” tiefling sorcerer; the ranger who wanted to domesticate an army of rats and declare herself “queen of the sewers”; or the slightly macabre mushroom druid who became a sheepgirl while trying to cast “trans your gender”.

[mylordshesacactus]

There is literally only one hard-and-fast rule in D&D character creation, which is one of basic courtesy to the DM and others–you have to create a character who, for literally any reason at all, would join an adventuring party.

(Like I said, this is basic courtesy; nothing is worse than the player who, when the DM introduces a plot hook, responds with “but why would MY character care? why would I get involved in this monster attack? MY character would just let the town guard handle it!” 

The answer to “but why would my character want to get involved?” is “Because you’re not the only player at the table, and you’re not the main character in a novel.” Pulling the session to a grinding halt around your character’s…lack of interest in the entire game….is rude and unfair. This is a team-based game, and an understood rule of conduct is that you are going to be playing a character who will–reluctantly perhaps, warily certainly, out of fear or self-interest by all means, but will nevertheless–join forces with the rest of the group and have some form of engagement with the plot)

And get this.

The vast majority of players snottily talking down to the actually interesting and engaging character concepts for not being “realistic” enough? They violate that one rule all the fucking time. A lone-wolf jaded rogue sitting by themself in the corner might be “realistic,” but if they keep no-selling plot hooks and refusing to engage with the plot because “it would be out of character”, then they’re not a good character for D&D and their players should have made a better one.

Literally the only law of character creation is to make a character who will in some way, shape, or form engage with the fucking story.

Make characters who are INTERESTING and ENGAGING and FUN TO PLAY and yes, don’t let assholes ruin your fun, but also: You are probably objectively better at this than they are and you deserve to keep that in mind.

NEVER take character criticism from people who only have one rule they’re expected to follow and still can’t figure it out.

[st-just]

Okay broadly agreed for a given defintiion of ‘Mary Sue’, but the other thing about D&D being a team-based game is that sometimes you have players who insist on their PC being the super-special Main Character who needs every conversation to be about them, and everyone else to be, like, the background dancers. Those people are also extremely annoying. Just, like, team game. Try to match the same general tone as the rest of the people you’re playing with.

[grimeclown]

The difference between the way d&d establishes gnolls and the way the new pathfinder book does is really really interesting

Guess which is which

[grimeclown]

You don’t have to headcanon that because it’s already in the book darling

[prokopetz]

More alternative explanations for that trap-filled maze of twisty passages in your Dungeons & Dragons game:

It’s a proof-of-concept designed by a rock gnome architect who had several revolutionary ideas about high-density residential housing; unfortunately, while any of those ideas by itself might have worked out for the better, the architect had not entirely thought through the implications of combining all of them at once  

The castle was built with a hilariously overengineered foundation in an effort to compensate for the sandy, unstable soil – and thanks to that foundation, when the soil inevitably subsided anyway, rather than collapsing, the castle simply… descended; the inhabitants constructed new floors atop the old, and continued to do so for several generations until everyone involved came to their senses  

It’s a combination museum and containment facility for magic items considered too dangerous for general use, but too culturally significant to destroy; the “prophetic inscriptions” on the walls are, in the original Middle Dwarvish, very dry and matter-of-fact safety advisories, their meaning obscured by the considerable poetic liberties of modern translations  

It’s a 1:1 scale diorama constructed by a dragon with a lot of time on its hands; the dragon was very into the aesthetics of human architecture, but wasn’t terribly familiar with the particulars of human culture and biology, and thus had several very peculiar ideas about how a habitable human structure is put together  

It turns out there isn’t a real upper limit to how big mimics can get

[thatonenewdungeonmaster]

[dnd-homebrew5e]

[owlbearwithme]

Fullbody commission for @fantazeerps / @vonbaghager of his terrible gnoll woman, Caracalla, who functioned as my test dummy for like 3 new texturing techniques

She doesn’t know what fashion is but it’s fine, she’s a capitalist so her outside matches her insides <3

[musterniillustrates]

prophetic visions emoji edits

[libraford]

Ok ok ok, I've got a good one from work if you want to hear a very fresh interaction with an extremely vain woman.

[libraford]

So we sent out a vase of two dozen red roses in a vase, which is a pretty standard arrangement that is usually a winner with the ladies. It went to a woman's home and it was sent by her husband and it was very sweet and wholesome.

Well, she called back the next day saying that she never received them and she would like them replaced. However, no one will be home during the day, so could we please deliver them to her workplace instead?

Sure! Of course! We do that all the time!

Our delivery driver had no idea what we were talking about. "I delivered them to her personally. I thought she loved them? She seemed nice?" Followed by a shrug emoji, but like in real life.

So... somethings clearly up, we just don't know what. Typically, we just kind of assume that someone doing this is in it for free flowers. This seems different, but we just can't put our finger on it.

We deliver the new arrangement to her workplace and we figure she's gotten all the extra flowers she needs from us. We move on.

Later that day she calls again, this time to tell us she wants it replaced because the vase was too small and she thought it would look more impressive. "I mean, you should SEE this thing," she said, loudly over the phone. "I will have to come to you after my shift to show you what I mean."

"We can just take your word for it," Abby said, trying to people-please as fast as they could to get this over with. "We can send you one in a bigger vase before the end of the day."

"No, no- you simply must see it in person to believe it. I will be coming by around 6." She hung up and Abby prepared for a weird night.

Abby was not prepared. No one was prepared.

At 6:00, a woman came in holding a perfectly fine vase of red roses, wearing a faux fur coat that screamed 'its me grandmama: Anastaaaahsia' over her shoulders and Abby approached her with the vase assuming correctly that this was the woman from earlier.

"Hey there! Just set that right here and we'll get it taken-"

Abby was cut off by the woman holding up a single finger to shush them. She held that position for a moment and released dramatically with a flourish.

"If you must know, I am extremely vain," she said, answering the question that no one asked. They paused, waiting bewildered for context, until she spoke again. "I won't be needing a new vase."

"But..." Abby began carefully. "Didn't you..."

She held up her hand, once again to shush them... and dramatic release. "I know what I said over the phone. But I don't want the roses." Pause for effect. "My husband is very sweet but incredibly dumb. He sent these to our home and they were lovely. But they weren't what I wanted."

Pause, again. She could have been an actress in a soap opera.

"What i wanted... what I WANTED, was for them to be delivered to my workplace so that the girls at my office could dote on how lovely they were and how amazing my husband is. That is what I wanted. And when I finally got my flowers delivered to the office, NO ONE NOTICED."

Abby stood back, wondering if the woman was going to start weeping. She did not and they were very pleased by this.

"So," the woman concluded. "I will not be needing your vase, and you can have these back." She handed the roses to Abby, and sashayed off towards the sunset and into our hearts.

[primordial-fungus-monolith]

girls only like me for my personality and my sense of humor and my huge tits, i wish it was for my prophetic visions as well

[rockshitty]

My favorite part of my dnd group right now is that their collective anxiety creates a better story than I do when planning the session. 

[rockshitty]

Me, intending to have them either fight or befriend a pack of CR ½ wolves: As you’re setting up camp tonight, you hear howling in the distance.

My player, a ball of anxiety with legs: hey, uh, dm? What phase is the moon right now?

Me, reading their mind and quickly flipping pages to the CR 3 werewolf: Oh, you know. Full. 

[casino-night-zone]

Tabletop character concept: Ratfolk who worships the moon goddess, but only because he thinks the moon is made of cheese and she will give him some if he is good.

[stealtheircannons]

When the DM says something like “The room appears to be empty” or “so you touch the object?”

[redarmybushman]

Fun DM tip: always do that. Even if it really is empty or nothing will happen. Really helps curb meta gamming and can get some funny reactions. My favorite is asking how they open the door or asking “so you just stand in front of it and open it normally” then suddenly they’re trying to describe a totally abnormal way of opening a door that doesnt involve them being in front of it

[wagyusaichi]

niko thats mean

[viridiandnd]

When my players roll a bad perception check I like to say, “there *seems* to be nothing there.” Especially if there is actually nothing there.

[owlbearwithme]

Finished commission for @fantazeerps of his goblin NPC for a pirate pathfinder game!

She wears trash and probably smells like dead fish I love her