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SQUIDWARD: April 1st? [screams] That’s SpongeBob’s favorite holiday!

SpongeBob SquarePants, Fools in April (2000) dir. Derek Drymon

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

t4t-fwb-meronia

afterword

biglawbear

This is really funny on dark mode

transfeminine-anarcho-post-egg

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.

niceinchnails

afurioushawk

Euros over here for the World Cup discovering we were right about this

archaeocoyote

notaplaceofhonour

maybe the real world cup was the big gulp we bought along the way

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”