GO Fan Fiction Writers Throwback Thursday
Thank you for the header, @curiouspupsicle. 💜 So here is my (long) entry.
The first GO fanfic I ever wrote: Before We Became What We Are (T). A story about the war in Heaven and showing Crowley's Fall.
It's not the first story I ever wrote. I wrote and even published a bit in my mid-20s (I think – it's been a long time, alright? 😅) for Yami no Matsuei – most of that remains unpublished somewhere on our file server, though. And I wrote a bit of fanfiction in my late teens (Star Trek, unpublished) and early 20s (Babylon 5, partially published in a mailing list, Usenet or eGroups... I'm not sure anymore). I have basically been writing stories ever since I learned how to write (which, curiously, was a few years after I learned how to read).
But this story *points up and down at link* is the first thing I wrote after years of not writing anything at all.
In 2019 I had tried to write something entirely different – a fantasy story that had been percolating in my head for years. My children were young, we were just realizing that we all had ADHD and my children were quite a challenge, and suddenly I was constantly exhausted and could hardly move my hands at all – let alone other my joints. When the pandemic in 2020 was in full swing, I got my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis (one of multiple diagnoses I have now because life is fun), but it would take years until I was relatively pain-free and healthy.
I had seen the first season of Good Omens in 2019 and loved it, but I hadn't been in the right place for it to become my special interest. In 2023 I was feeling good enough, and I hadn't even been halfway through the second season when I realized I would absolutely obsess over it.
I started by lurking around on social media, looking at art and reading fanfic. There were so many amazing fan creations! It brought back the old itch to write again.
But by that time I had made a ton of negative experiences – both in the real world and online – and had kind of shut myself off. I interacted very little and was questioning and rewriting even the smallest comment dozens of times. So my first fic was written and posted in a bit of a void.
I didn't know yet that I was also autistic, and I'm afraid it shows in my writing because I was camouflaging even there. I wasn't using my own voice, but trying to write in a way that incorporated as much of the "good writing" guidelines as I could – and still failing. 😅 It sounds stilted and stiff to me now. That English isn't my native language certainly didn't help either, although I had already been a fluent speaker for decades at that time.
But there is a huge difference between fluently using a language and writing in it, I find. And the practice I've had since then is noticeable. Also, I've become much more comfortable being myself again and using my own voice. All thanks to the Good Omens fandom – which feels a lot safer and warmer than most other (online) spaces – and my lovely friends on the internet.
If I wrote that story today, it would sound nothing like that. The idea would be the same – I still love it – but I wouldn't even try to write "right" or "correct" anymore. I would match Aziraphale's and Crowley's voices better and write better descriptions. I have half a mind to rewrite it at some point because I still love the idea. But it still means a lot to me because it gave writing back to me.
I hadn't noticed how much I had missed writing until I started writing for GO, and it quickly took most of my free time. Being able to write again means more than I can say. Through it I made so many wonderful friends all over the world (you know who you are 🥰😘), I learned so much and it gives me so much that other things never managed. It really is the most fun one can have by themselves (to me anyway) – even when I'm stressed out with multiple WIPs and looming deadlines and even when it frustrates me because the words don't want to flow the way I want them to. Even then.
Tl;dr: Is it my best fic? HELL NO! 🤣 If you're familiar with my recent stories, you likely wouldn't even recognize it as one of mine. Which does not mean that I'm "a master at writing" now or any such nonsense. If you know me, you know I wouldn't even call myself "a good writer". I'd call myself "a writer". Period. And even that took me a while. But although that fic is far from perfect, it will always have a special place in my heart because it gave me back one of my favorite things to do.
Before We Became What We Are (6989 words) by Sakascal
Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: good omentober, Pre-Fall Crowley (Good Omens), Some fighting, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), contains some body horror
Series: Part 1 of Good Omentober 2023
Summary:
Good Omentober prompt 1 - "Pre-Fall".
Aziraphale is thinking about his place in Heaven and this fascinating red haired angel he hasn't seen in a while when suddenly hitherto unseen things start to happen…