tl ; dr : towards the end of his first year out witchering , when he was 17 , eskel was ambushed by some villagers in their attempt to get out of paying him for a contract . this lead to him getting his awful facial injuries , from a dagger & some farming tools . he managed to kill his captors , but was barely hanging on . someone whose life he had saved earlier , milosh , cared for him , & helped him get back to kaer morhen .
over time , eskel grew deeply fond of milosh & came to realize he loved him , though he never overtly shared this . they set up camp at the wooded outskirts , where they were attacked by bandits . eskel barely survived given his already wounded state , but milosh was killed . eskel managed to get to the gates of kaer morhen , where vessimir nursed him back to health , & helped him learn to talk , walk , & fight again .
click the read more if you’re actually bonkers & feel like reading a longer 900+ word version because i love being dramatic :
wolf witchers start their venture into the real world just before spring , when they’re 17 . not a lot of 18 year olds return to kaer morhen in the deepest parts of winter . each wolf is assigned a direction of the wind to travel out into - eskel was assigned to the southwest , to temeria .
outside of old vizima , he encountered a sleepy waterside village , too small for any map . he arranged a deal with the village’s leader - 200 orens to take care of a drowner’s nest & rescue the leader’s son , milosh , moored on an infested island .
eskel completed the task easily , & retrieved milosh , bandaging his wounds & giving him the last of his food . milosh mentioned his desire to travel the world , & eskel made idle chatter about his own home of kaer morhen . when he returned he found the village eerily deserted , with odd noises coming from the leader’s cellar . he instructed milosh to wait outside , & went down there to investigate .
upon descending , he was immediately ambushed . he was held back back two men as the leader threatened him , informing him he could leave empty handed or die . thinking quickly , he formed the sign of igni , burning one of his captors - but not before the other could draw his dagger .
it was an awful feeling as the blade dragged against his face , horribly mauling his mouth . the pain was enough to stagger him , leading him open to more attacks from farming tools & whatever else the villagers had on hand . of course , being a witcher , eskel managed to defeat them , but not without great loss .
as he limped out of the house , confused & frightened , he found milosh still waiting for him . horrified by the actions of his father & his neighbors , milosh promised to help eskel return to health , & get back to his home of kaer morhen .
eskel wasn’t able to talk for a while , given how stubborn & deep the injuries to his mouth were , & was barely able to hold a sword . their pace was slow on two stolen mares , but milosh was good company , & eskel taught him the basics of self - defense . eskel grew quite fond of him , & they developed their own rudimentary sign language given eskel’s inability to speak .
they reached ard carraigh by winter , with only a short journey left until kaer morhen . eskel told milsoh he would be welcome to stay at the witcher’s school , given he had nowhere else to go & had proven quite useful with a sword . they traveled for a week , all smiles & plans for the future . until one calm night , when they rested at the surrounding forest of kaer morhen .
eskel’s hearing was badly damaged on his right side -- meaning he couldn’t hear the bandits sneaking into the camp . they slit milosh’s throat quietly . the fact he died unaware , locked in a deep sleep became eskel’s sole consolation looking back .
before they had a chance to do the same to eskel , one tripped & dropped his sword , the clatter waking eskel up . the ensuing battle proved grueling - eksel still in recovery - but he managed . he emerged deep in grief , covered in blood , & once again struggling to survive .
to his deep regret , he couldn’t muster the strength to properly bury milosh . eskel tore the wolf amulet from his neck , a sign of the bravery & courage he knew milosh had carried within him , & left it on his breathless chest . with a deep gash on his leg , & blood draining quickly , he knew his only hope was to pray that his horse could carry him to kaer morhen fast enough .
& she did . vessimir was the one to find him outside , almost passed out & barely clutching onto the reigns . coen helped to gather necessary first aid - both for his recent injuries & his older ones barely scarring . for a week , eskel was in & out of sleep , his chances of survival unclear .
he pulled through , surrounded by the only family he’s ever known , & made a full recovery with vessimir’s help . he learned to talk again , & to walk with only a slight limp , & eventually started practicing his swordsmanship again . in time , he gained the words to talk about his summer - about the contract & the ambush & the stranger who risked his life to save him .
when all of the witchers went out again , eskel stayed behind with vessimir , still needing time to fully heal . it was during that summer at the keep that he truly hardened in the absence of the outside world , swearing never to trust or love ordinary humans again . it could only lead to heartbreak & death . when he journeyed out into the wilderness once more , he let his horrifying appearance be a barrier . a mark that he had no intention of pretending he’s human . he’s a witcher , & that means going it alone .
“ you don’t have to hide your tears from me . ”
“ you’re doing great , okay ?? i mean it . ”
“ you are so strong . ”
“ please don’t ever give up . ”
“ i will always believe in you . ”
“ why do you always think you have to do everything on your own ?? ”
“ it’s okay , i’m here . i’ll always be here . ”
“ you’ve always been strong for me . let me return the favor . ”
“ just listen to my heartbeat , okay ?? ”
“ come on , take a deep breath . it’s gonna be alright . ”
“ please , just hold me . ”
“ you always meant the world to me . i’m sorry i let you forget that . ”
“ i never stopped loving you . ”
“ you’ll feel better if you talk about it . i’m here to listen . ”
“ you’re so much more than the mistakes you’ve made . ”
“ i forgive you . ”
“ you are so fucking powerful . ”
“ i’m not leaving you here . ”
“ i trust you more than anyone else in this universe . ”
“ it’s okay to be confused . nobody has all the answers . ”
“ i’m so , so sorry . you didn’t deserve that . ”
“ healing is not linear , but it’s always moving forward . ”
“ you can admit that you’re hurting . it’s okay to not be okay . ”
“ hold my hand ?? ”
“ you are my home . ”
“ no matter what anyone else says , you are so important to me . ”
“ don’t worry . i’ll protect you . ”
“ shh , it was just a nightmare . you’re safe . ”
“ don’t talk about yourself like that . ”
“ just say the word . you know i’d do anything for you . ”
“ you are loved . ”
“ i just need a hug . ”
“ i’ll destroy anything that so much as thinks of harming you . ”
“ don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are . ”
“ you’re not alone . you’re stuck with me forever . sorry . ”
“ well , hello sleeping beauty . you fell asleep on me . ”
“ if you don’t take your butt back to bed , i will carry you there myself . ”
“ i’m sorry to wake you up , but i really need someone to talk to . ”
“ i hate seeing you like this … please , let me help . ”
“ you are & always will be precious to me . ”
“ i can’t believe that asshole said that to you . it’s not true , you know . ”
“ you want me to punch him in the face ?? ”
“ you deserve every good thing in the world . ”
“ you know i always have your back . ”
“ you don’t have to worry about anything , as long as i’m around . ”
“ stop apologizing , okay ?? i’ve already told you i’ve forgiven you a hundred times now . ”
“ don’t beat yourself up over this . be kind to yourself , it’s not your fault . ”
HOW THE BEAST DREADS ITS CLAWS. how he loathes the world that has caught all of his tattered edges , demanded a man out of a hapless creature . while this form , this seething blood , is demanded by the pack of wolves he now fights , it isn’t long until he notices the human . or at least , something that appears to be . he strikes the last rabid clump of gray , & turns , blood sliding down his claws .
‘ run , ‘ he pleads , voice gnarled & strained . ‘ i shan’t follow you & i mean you no harm . just go . ‘
THE KEEP IS NOTHING BUT CRUMBLING STONE . once the sanctuary of vessemir , & the training grounds of ciri , it stands as nothing but a monument to the unkind forces of time . to the white frost , its jaw un - hinged , claiming lives whole . upon the sight of geralt , eskel manages a slight smile , hoping to escape the clutches of grief - if only for a moment .
‘ got some strong ale inside , & a fire going . share a round with me ? ‘ he asks , voice ever rough & deep . he still remembers the dull ache of geralt’s years with the hunt , & he refuses to watch him die a different sort of death . for now he will be strong .
IN THE EVENT THERE WAS NO COHERENT THOUGHT , just pure and terrible sensation . Only afterward did I wonder if this is what the mystics call the mysterium tremendum et fascinans — the blinding unendurable mystery ( whether of God or some other Ultimate or Absolute ) before which humans tremble in awe .
featuring muses from the witcher , elder scrolls , & amnesia .
they didn’t use the same melody or even tone for all of the different language dubs, meaning eskel’s trail song exists in several different capacities! i don’t have all the language dubs available to me, but i was able to record the ones i did!!! :)
1. french, 2. brazilian portuguese, 3. polish, 4. english
SO LIKE WHAT THE HELL EVEN IS IRIS? : the meta to end all metas
one ) is iris an over - powered mary sue ? sure . but you could say the same about almost all fem characters in fiction who have any hint of special abilities . it’s a misogynistic label used to denote any fem characters who are too competent when compared to their power - fantasy male counterparts . i un - abashedly portray iris as she is written — a personification of grief , a woman caught between unknown realms & unexplainable beings . she canonically had a pocket dimension form around her , & her husband made a deal with an eldritch entity with her as a focus . iris has a great deal of uncontrollable magic surrounding her , & i do not tone that down on this blog .
two ) how much does iris control her powers ? very very little . as eons go by , she’s able to channel the strange way things exist around her , but even then she has no real motivation to utilize this ability . her powers are somewhat like that of a source — she doesn’t control magic so much as she is a conduit . the universe simply does not want her to exist . the only reason she does carry on is through gaunter’s magic , & as such it sort of “ warps “ around her . it’s like looking at pavement on a hot day - she’s an anomaly to everything , even this dimension itself , & so reality is a bit more lenient surrounding her .
three ) what inhibits her powers ? silver , dimeritium, & yrden , but no witcher would ever have cause to harm her . she is never malevolent – even towards those iris would have stood up against in her lifetime . her only real motivation is talking to those affected by grief , nothing else matters . it’s possible she could be killed by being trapped in yrden & stricken with silver , but it’s unlikely she would stay dead without drastic measures .
four ) how did she escape the painted world in the first place ? olgierd wished for immortality for not only himself , but also for iris . in the cannon of my blog , geralt breaks olgierd’s pact with gaunter . when the pact is broken , olgierd is returned to his mortal form , but the same isn’t possible for iris . her death was a weird occurrence in & of itself – her grief & despair were so great that she could no longer remain in our realm , but the contract prevented her from moving to the next . thus , she was caught between the two , in a pocket dimension of her own making . when the pact ended , it caused the painted world to shatter , spitting her back into a half - alive , half - dead state that she now inhabits .
five ) how much do commoners know about her ? iris shows up to those stricken by immeasurable mourning . to these she is known as “ the lady of grief “ . some researchers have attempted to classify her as a “ mid-night widow “ ( the counter to the category of wraiths known as “ mid-day brides ” ) , or as a reverse noon - wraith . her paintings live on , & the owners of them will sometimes see the figures inside them moving , or the weather changing . as the years go on , & sightings of her become more widespread , some bards romanticize her as a folk goddess .
