Thinking about Cas coming back post-confession and Dean starting, gradually, to lean on him more and more in daily life, with little things, with hunts, with (though he wouldn’t call it that) emotional support, everything. And Dean is choked by more and more guilt, because they haven’t actually talked about what Cas said, because isn’t this Dean taking advantage of Cas’ feelings, if he doesn’t feel the same? (And he doesn’t, right? He doesn’t see Cas that way, he couldn’t be in love with a guy, even if he’s slept with guys before once or twice, that’s different, that didn’t mean anything—)
But Cas is just overjoyed to have a place in Dean’s life and to be able to help him with all of these things he hasn’t ever accepted help with, so while Dean gets guiltier and guiltier, Cas just gets more and more concerned and confused about what’s going on in his head, like sure, he feels guilty about accepting help, but even for him this level of internal torment seems strange.
And then eventually it all comes to a head and Cas explains that no, Dean, you’re not taking advantage of my feelings, I like doing things for you, and this is the happiest I’ve been maybe ever, and if we continued on like this for the rest of our lives, this close but never touching, I’d consider that a good life because, as previously stated, you idiot, I love you.
And Dean realizes that yeah, wait, if wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone, relying on them and being relied on, is what love is, then yeah, he loves Cas. Of course he loves Cas. And all the parts of that that he’s afraid of pale in comparison to that simple truth, don’t they.
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