Femme_librarian

[moonlightsapphic]

The reading comprehension crisis is insane

Bi genderqueer sapphic [casually and good-naturedly chatting with a gay person about their lived difficulties of being treated like they’ve betrayed queer folks they were previously in community with once they got into a cishetero-presenting M/F relationship]: It shouldn’t be illegal to just … fall in love, y’know?

The internet: HOLY FUCKIN SHITCAKES IT’S OFFICIAL bi women are TRADWIVES that think CISHETERO PEOPLE are being oppressed by the LGBTQ+ community and STRAIGHT marriage will be LITERALLY ILLEGAL soon IT ISN’T BIPHOBIC TO CRITICISE just how LESBOPHOBIC bi women are when they say sexuality is FLUID for someone who isn’t fully labeled as bi plus their gross VICTIM COMPLEX with VALIDITY DISCOURSE instead of ONLY listening to the rest of us who aren’t in banal HETERONORMATIVE relationships just BEGGING to be seen as queer and the MOST OPPRESSED while MARRIAGE EQUALITY AND TRANS RIGHTS are on the verge of collapsing WHY DO YOU NEED A PLATFORM in THIS POLITICAL CLIMATE to CENTER MEN—

idk man smells like confirmation bias i’m afraid

[moonlightsapphic]

Are butches butches because they love femmes or because there's something about our gender expression? It would seem to be just sort of a moot point, like how many angels can dance on the head of a pin; which came first, the butchness or the lesbianism? Except that there's another one of these great misunderstandings, if you simply identify that butch and femme go together like love and marriage, and horse and carriage, soup and sandwich, then it leaves out butches who are attracted to other butches. It leaves out femmes who want to be with other femmes. It leaves out bisexual butches. It leaves no area at all to define why some women are so masculine and yet are heterosexual. To me, being butch doesn't mean what you do in bed. I mean to be butch on the street, that's what being butch is to me.

—Outlaw (1994), Leslie Feinberg, butch lesbian author & trans rights activist

[femmelibrarian]

Squints: yes google, that's clearly what I meant

[moonlightsapphic]

I learned a lot today from Obviously Queer’s video essay “FEMME: Lesbian History, Identity, Politics and Invisibility” and femmebis’ “The “Lesbian-Only Term” Myth: A Comprehensive Historical Essay on ‘Butch’ and ‘Femme’ ”.

[movedto-breederbutch]

tons of posts on here about how femmes need to be more chivalrous and butches could be softer so this post is for ofos (old-fashioned, old-school) butches and femmes.

it's normal and good to want your butch to open the door and pay. it's perfectly fine to want to assemble the furniture while your femme waters her plants. it's completely natural to want to be a "housewife" while your butch works a traditional job. it's beautiful to be the one who falls to your knees to give your femme a foot rub the second she asks, and it's lovely to take forever to get dressed because you want to look perfect for your butch. even if you "pass as straight" (whatever that means). and even if you have boundaries that others might consider "patriarchal".

you aren't enforcing gender roles, you are participating in the lesbian genders of your ancestors. you aren’t taking advantage of your butch. you aren’t infantilizing your femme. and you definitely don't need to change because other people are toting 70s-political-lesbian "you-are-replicating-heterosexuality" rhetoric that asks butches to be "less masculine" and femmes to be "less feminine" (under society's lens).

you just probably prefer a relationship where you have an ofos dynamic. and there's always room for more in the ofos butch/femme community :)

[femmelibrarian]

Am I crazy or does he look like a young Leslie Feinberg:

[metamorphosis2999]

i ♥️ queer history (a lot of media are missing but they didn’t fit😭)

[femmelibrarian]

Crap, I have most of these

[beautifultn]

do any femmes like pathetic, desperate butches who will do anything you tell them and want nothing more than to make you feel good while also receiving nothing in return bc pleasing you pleases them?

[crimson-femme]

Last Call at Maud's (1993)

[butch-d0g]

I love being a service butch, holding your purse, driving you around, holding the door open, carrying your bags, eating you out while you get ready. All I want in return is that you pet my hair and call me a good boy

[sweetnsal]

being a stone dyke with another stone dyke, and finally being able to have safe stone sex without someone whining in your ear about how “we both need to receive to have good, fun sex” is actually so euphoric and what i’ve desired for So Long. like yes i get off to getting you off and i don’t need anything more <3

[sapphicmistlefoe]

On stone butches and "melting the stone."

Once people get past their revulsion for stone butches and how we love, pity and desire to "fix" us become paramount. Convincing or enticing a stone butch into receiving touch is called "melting the stone," and while it can happen under certain conditions and for certain people, potential sexual partners should not assume that they will always or ever be given an opportunity to touch the parts of us that have petrified over time

A stone butch may melt for certain people

Or

They may never, ever accept intimate touch. From anyone

Melting the stone should never be a femme's (or other partners') motivation. It should be an event won by trust and entirely guided by the butch

Some butches are only ever gonna be comfortable fucking when they're partially or fully clothed, when they have their hands on you rather than the other way around, when they are allowed to find intimacy that doesn't trigger revulsion, dysphoria, shame or fear

Any active attempts to melt stone are tantamount to lesbian coded conversion therapy. You are literally trying to mold someone into something else to satisfy your sexual impulses

Doesn't matter if they're stone through trauma

Doesn't matter if they're stone through dysphoria

Doesn't matter if they're stone by natural inclination

They're stone. Period. And that should be respected

[butchfemmethoughts]

“I turn stone tops into bottoms” “I can melt your stone.” SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

[femmelibrarian]

I mean...why would you want to

[lesbianherstorian]

i'm currently researching butch identity in mid-century america! here's a fact about post-WWII LGBT communities in port cities that blew my mind today. from lillian faderman's odd girls and twilight lovers: a history of lesbian life in 20th century america

[lesbianherstorian]

alright so after finishing this reread of odd girls i am struck by what feels like the total lack of sympathy for working-class lesbians and butch/femme identity. painful ! please go read boots of leather, slippers of gold rn

[crimson-femme]

1950s Butch-Femme wedding, seen in Before Stonewall (1984)