estudio enfermería, soy hombre trans, mexicano y fui orgullosamente ilegal casi toda mi vida: no voy a pedir permiso para andar en mi propia tierra hijos de su puta madre, me la pelan los gringos racistas y estúpidos
If there's one thing the Centaurs were not prepared for when Hollander joined their team, it's just how much of an asshole he is. Like, pretty early on Shane's first season with the Cens, Dillon misses a pass from him in practice and Shane immediately goes "did you leave your contacts at home?" in a perfectly bland, inoffensive tone and Dillon, genuinely confused, says, "I don't wear glasses..." and Shane immediately retorts with "well, you clearly need them so I'd schedule an eye test" and then just skates away with the puck while the rest of the Centaurs are left gaping behind him except for Ilya who is folded over with laughter
Hollanov canon au Shane gets outed but no one can identify the guy and they decide to hide ilya’s identity until they don’t have to worry about his Russian passport only now there are a bunch of men coming forward claiming to be the guy and so Shane has to state the guy who will remain anonymous is his long time partner and then guys online keep trying to convince him that they wouldn’t hide/to break up with that guy and Ilya is basically foaming at the mouth at this point.
He counts down the days and as soon as he doesn’t have to worry about russia he starts posting online asking Shane Hollander to pretty please consider him for his next boyfriend and Shane visibly flirts back and people are going crazy because does this mean that the other guy is out of the picture or???
Only they post a picture of them together a few days later that reveals Ilya was the guy all along and the internet explodes
“I can believe I asked Shane Hollander if Ilya Rozanov could fight I just barely escaped with my jaw intact omg”
”sorry I said I was better looking than your boyfriend I have taken my humble medication”
”what kind of power does hockey robot Shane Hollander hold to pull rose landry AND Ilya rozanov???”
David and Yuna are clearing out their attic, and they come over with a box of Shane's old childhood stuff to see if there's anything Shane (but realistically, Ilya) wants to keep.
As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.
"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.
"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.
"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."
Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:
Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!
Ilya is grinning even wider now.
"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."
"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."
"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.
"I think they made it worse, actually."
Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.
"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"
"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.
"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."
"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.
"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"
"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.
"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."
I love the idea of Shane's Wikipedia page having a single sentence about him being "previously romantically linked to Rose Landry" under Personal Life with Rose Landry's name hyperlinked and Ilya getting irrationally annoyed by it.
He makes an offhanded comment to Shane about it during dinner one night and Shane says something like "Oh I didn't even know it said that. You can submit a correction and edit it to delete that sentence if you care so much since you're so whiny and jealous" and Ilya is like "I'm not whining, I'm just making boring conversation about boring people on boring website." Then promptly excuses himself and whips his phone out to do the very thing that Shane has just inadvertently taught him.
And Ilya is getting more and more frustrated that it keeps getting edited back to say Shane dated Rose. He can never mention this to Shane because then Shane will know that Ilya is still jealous AND still checking his Wikipedia page.
This goes on for weeks. Wikipedia eventually restricts Ilya. He makes a second account and the same thing happens. He eventually takes the L.
It isn't until like 5 years into marriage that Svetlana drunkenly admits that she's the one that put the Rose Landry fact in Shane's Wikipedia page in the first place and that she edits it back in there every time she notices it's gone.
okay but for sure baby shane on his first hockey team got to play on the ice during an intermission at a centaurs game in the 90s. he scored a goal and did a cute little celebration jump (and immediately lost his balance and fell on his butt). harris pulls the clip from somewhere deep in the centaurs archive. he makes an insta post after shane's first game with the cens and includes the video with a caption about tonight being shane hollander's second ever centaurs goal.
ilya just barely manages to keep himself from sobbing in delight at the video.
girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.
Generally I think Jabber is stinky because he smells like a mix of chemicals and blood, NOT because he doesn't shower, but the idea of Cthoni forcing him to take care of himself is cute, so I like to think that sometimes he gets so distracted with whatever he's working on/doing that he forgets to shower
cracker being considered a slur on twitch is wild. such a harmless word but I guess some white people are soft and brittle.. reminds me of one of my favorite snack foods
A short (drabble??) idk of Jabber for my nightly insomnic episode:
I wanted to explore him and his anger because I feel like his anger would play a huge role in his obsession. There's plenty of times we’ve seen that as much as he tries to play nonchalant dreadhead he is also just as easily ragebaited. I also feel like he’d low-key get upset bout not being right all the time. But anyways…
Jabber stared at zanka through the window. It had been about a week since their fight in the trash beast.
Since zanka had proved him wrong.
There's something about that, something that just pisses him off. He's never wrong,and yet…
Here he was, watching the object of his failings sleep bundled under blankets—-dead to the world.
He shoulda been anyway. He shoulda just finished the kill, sure boss had made it clear that they were to bring their winnings as a sacrifice but that's exactly why the disappointment is still here, dreaming.
He honestly can't tell who he's more annoyed with Zanka or himself. He was so sure he had found the one that could keep up. The look in his eyes as he simply tanked that acid that he threw at him.
The way he had effortlessly lifted that giant rock tipping it over on top of him. The glee that shined through his eyes as he did it. He was so sure…
He reached down mind shifting through the memories of the fight trying to figure out how he could have possibly been so wrong. His hand poked his ribs, prodding the still broken bones as he lost himself in thought.
The way he grabbed mankira with his teeth-eyes dripping in conviction, desperation, and pure unadulterated wrath.
He groaned out has he pressed down harder on his ribs, a movement made purely unintentionally, but still, he had really broken them, bruised them up bad. That hit that came after he used that stick.
It hurt.
It hurt in a way Jabber found he didn't quite enjoy. The pain and discomfort, he'd been reminded every time he so much as moved breathed.
He had marked Zanka, a whole directly in his chest but Zanka…oh
Zanka had made his claim right back.
He didn't get to leave marks and not back it up. Occupy his mind with his mediocrity. He shoulda killed him, he would kill him now, if it weren't for the stupid window being glued shut.
The boss had mentioned something about the building not sustaining damage during one of his tests but jabber had been too excited—-excited at the prospect of fighting the very person in the room he couldn't get into.
He huffed, probably too loud but it was fine, he'd think of something.
Zanka couldn’t be allowed to live after all. Not with how insistant he was about keeping a hold in his head.
It was…jarring how much Jabber couldnt seem to let him go. It was aggravating as hell.
Zanka this, Zanka that, Zanka, Zanka, Zanka.
Hell even during his fight wit bang bang braids and fu, he couldnt help the annoyance that they didnt move him.
His weak, pathetic,and average jinki had given him more fun than he had anticipated. Fu had been fun too, yeah, just as strong as he thought because he once again he had been right.
But Zanka, nah he had to do something no one had quite done before. He had his own stuff to prove, that he was just average, a nobody.
Jabber groaned in annoyance his glare sharpening.
The boy asleep in the room was bringing him to the edge, Jabber didnt get upset, he didnt react!!
No Jabber laughed, he taunted, a strutted around, and lagged when bored. But he angered others, not the other way around.
So why was he so…mad?
He huffed a sigh pressing into his ribs, more so to ground himself. He still watched as Zanka slept seemingly unaware of the killing intent wafting just outside his window.
Nope.
Jabber would take care of him. He’d handle this. He’d grab Zanka, force him to fight. He’d make him prove him right, and if he fails he’ll do it again, and again, and again...
He nods to himself. The plan already coming together in his head. Zanka was gonna prove him right…or he’ll die trying.
The Cleaners: Do not have the authority to rid the ground of human trafficking
The Hellguard: DOES have the authority but still does not take any action in ridding the ground of human trafficking
Jabber Wonger: Takes Direct Action in stabbing human traffickers in the face (in the performance of other duties)
The Cleaners: Did not immediately inform Rudo that Gris was alive
The Hellguard: Did not immediately inform Rudo that Enjin was alive (malicious version)
Jabber Wonger: Informs Rudo that Zanka is alive immediately upon being asked
Conclusion: Jabber Wonger is the most helpful and straightforward guy on the ground, as long as you ignore the piles of bodies he keeps leaving behind
titsay
pixelskylines
vaporwave
izzy806
2087
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
