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Maybe He Never Did - Part Two

Liam Mairi x Reader

Xaden x SisterReader

Maybe He Never Did: Pt 1

⭐️All my works⭐️

Word count: 8.9K

Thank you for all the love in pt 1, hopefully you enjoy pt2 js as much. I put a lot of time into it (hence the 8.9k words)

Warnings:

Swearing, mentions of suicide attempt, mention of throwing up, Xaden being a stupid and horrible brother, Liam being protective and caring for his girl (bare minimum ik, but still cute, esp to someone who has never been in a relationship), Hurt/comfort, protective older sister Imogen (I adore her), fluff, VERY slightly suggestive stuff (wink wonk), Xaden finally being a good older brother, Big brother/little sister moments, bonding, rekindling sibling relationship (I decided to have a happy ending guys… at least until my next work 👀)

Summary: After Xaden’s confrontation with you had been cut short by Liam, he decides to leave the situation for now and get answers from Tairn. As soon as that's done, he goes back to your room to seek answers, and there is no stopping him now. Soon enough he finds out what’s going on, and he realizes how deep of a hole he’s dug. He tries his best to get onto your good side again, but nothing seems to work. Until you get hurt, that's when it is clear that he isn’t trying to get on your good side anymore, that isn’t the goal, now there is no goal, he is simply here for his little sister.

Taglist: barbreadsbooks, liliana2095

-

There are five quick knocks at your door. The three of you knew exactly who it was. Xaden.

Prior to knocking on your door, said man had asked his cousin, Bodhi, to watch over Violet. To ensure she was safe from any other attacks, especially because she had told him that someone had gotten away. Just in case they had any bright ideas to come back and attempt to finish the job. Once he was certain she was safe, he was dead set on finding out why his sister hadn’t done the simple thing he had asked.

Liam looked at you while Imogen glared so hard you swear she’d burst the door and Xaden into flames. These two people were loyal to you. There is no doubt in their loyalty to Xaden, but you always came before anyone else to them. Liam's sweet, caring, head strong, stubborn, and smart soulmate, and Imogen's witty, petty, also stubborn, protective, and too good for Liam, little sister. Where they would kill for Xaden, they would sacrifice themselves for you.

Imogen got up, ready to fight for her little sister and her well being. No one could get away with hurting her, especially not today, and especially not her good for nothing, idiotic, obsessed with Violet brother. Liam grabbed her wrist before she could open the door.

“Imogen. Don’t.” He said. Worried about you. He knew better than anyone that you didn’t want Xaden anywhere near you. But he also knew that Imogen was going to do what she wanted, and that was, currently, protecting her little sister and defending her, even though she knew that she could do it herself. What are older sisters for if not that?

“No Liam. He had the gaul to treat her terribly today of all fucking days. And to worry about his little girlfriend more than he does about his sister's safety? He could have asked you or me, but no. He asks his little sister. What if she was there? What if she got hurt? What if she wasn’t fast enough because of what she’s going through? Everyone can see that something is going on with her, what if they burst into Violet's room when she wasn’t at her best? Then what?” Imogen couldn’t handle it. She understood that Xaden was worried, but to put his littles sister's life and safety on the line for his and Violets? That was messed up.

“Imogen, that's not why I'm telling you not too. You know that.” Liam said looking at her hurt she’d assume he didn’t want her to protect his girlfriend. He wanted to go out there and strangle Xaden. Pummel him even. He probably could with how much rage was bubbling in him right now at the fact that his girlfriend had been hurt so badly, especially today, but he also knew that she would want to do that herself. Defend herself and pummel her idiotic brother herself. She was the one person who could actually kill her brother if she really wanted to.

“Sorry. I know that.” Imogen said, shaking her head. “He’s a fucking idiot I tell you. So fucking stupid.”

“Yeah. He is.” Liam agreed before looking down at you and running a hand through your hair.

“My love? Let’s get you some water, hmm?” His tone is ever so sweet. Then it came again. Three sharp knocks. Which all three of you ignored. He could wait. He will wait.

“Yeah. Sure.” You said softly, voice hoarse from all the crying you had done. You slowly got up from leaning on Liams chest. Sitting up on your own, Liams hand staying on your back, going up and down in a comforting way.

Three more knocks. Harder now. “Here.” Imogen crouches down and gives you a bottle of water that Liam had made sure to have. Once again Liam was ready to make sure all your needs were met for tonight. You quickly down all that water, the coolness of it putting an end to the soreness that had developed because of your sobbing. “Careful.” Liam said, chuckling as he wiped away a small droplet of water that had escaped.

Three bangs remind you that there is a very angry man waiting outside your door for you. You tell yourself to ignore it, but you also know that he won’t leave. He will talk to you and it will be tonight. Even though you want to ignore him and truly don’t wish to speak to him, you know you have to. This is your older brother, and if there is anything about you two that people will say is the same, it is that fact that both of you are stubborn. You will talk to him regardless of the fact that you are hurting, and he will talk to you regardless of the fact that you are hurting.

Asshole, you think to yourself as you slowly get up.

‘Asshole’ indeed. Your dragon says as if testing the word.

I will burn him where he stands if you wish little one. All you must do is ask.

Ever the protective one. You say before feeling a flood of emotions run through you. Love and protectiveness.

For you. Always. He says.

You rise to your feet. Liam quickly rushed to help you up. Gods, I love him. You think to yourself.

“What are you doing my love?” He questions, but he already knows the answer, so does Imogen. The second Xaden knocked, they both knew you would inevitably answer.

If he wants to be upset with you today of all days, you won’t let him. If he wants answers, he’ll get his fucking answers, you’ll make sure of it.

“Im giving him a piece of my fucking mind is what I am doing.” You say with anger seeping through your tone. He wanted to pay more attention to General Sorrengails daughter? Fine. Wanted to give her all his time, take everyone important to you, and make them protect and train her? Fine. Wanting you to potentially put your life on the line for her? Wanting you to get hurt for her? Wanting you to take responsibility for her? When you are clearly going through something, which everyone else noticed you are? Absolutely not.

“Okay.” Is all Liam says as he holds your hand and squeezes it. He is right beside you, no matter what. He knows this won’t be one of the usual sibling fights. Not something you will simply get over, and you shouldn’t have to.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself before reaching for the door. Just as you go to unlock it, there is yet another knock. Then you pull it open.

“What?” You say flatly.

“What? That's all you have to say? What?!” Xaden says seething.

“Yeah that's all I have to say. What do you want now Xaden? What haven’t you said already? Why didn’t I listen? Why did I lie? Why couldn’t I do something so simple?” You say, matching Xaden’s tone.

“Yeah, that's exactly what I want to know.” He says looking at you with his brows furrowed.

“I have something else much more important going on.” You say looking at him, hoping and praying he would see that there is more to it then you are letting on, but of course luck is against you and all he sees is some soldier who went against his direct orders.

“What do you have going on that is more important than protecting the person whose life is tied to mine? If she dies, I die, don’t you get that?” He says, tone hushed as it is the middle of the night, but anger is clear.

“What if she dies?! What if I died Xaden? What then? Would you rather I die than her? Your sister means less to you then this girl you suddenly have so much interest in? Your sister means so little to you that you want her hurt? You think I don't know what happens to you if she dies? You think I don't get it? I do Xaden. I truly do, however that was the last thing on my mind tonight. I have more important things going on.”

“More important than my life?” He says accusingly and baffled, as though he can’t fathom not being important to you.

How fucking dare he. Is all you can think before you blurt out the words that will change everything. That will make him question you till no end. That will make him realize just how terrible of a brother he’s been. Or at least you assume so, at least you hope. Given the past you doubt it though. But you still have some semblance of hope that he will care even the slightest bit.

“Yes. My fucking life.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” He says with a shocked yet still angry look. He truly had no idea what you were talking about. It was apparent that as keen as he is, and as intuitive as he is, he’s also an idiot who clearly doesn’t pay much attention to those around him. Or at least you…

“Oh, so now you want to know what's going on?” You say, angry that he is just now showing interest.

Before your fathers execution, you and Xaden were inseparable. He was your rock, your person. After being fostered with different families, sure things had changed, but he still remained your rock. Then he joined the riders quadrant. That first year was the hardest for you, but it had allowed you to build more on your relationship with Liam, and get much closer to Imogen and Bodhi. Then his second year started, which is also when you struggled the most. He was distant. He sent letters sure, but they missed his usual edge, the loving and caring brotherly side to him that was, obviously, reserved for you. At first you thought he was going through something, but Garrick and you had been sending letters back and forth, and he never mentioned anything, and he would have, especially to you. The one thing that made you start distancing yourself too was when you had told him that you were struggling. You didn’t tell him about your thoughts, or how you didn’t want to continue living a life with so much hurt anymore, no. You told him that you were struggling. That you were going through mental turmoil, and that you needed your big brother, your rock. And his reply was what did it for you. He had simply said that he was also going through something. That he was struggling too. And that was all. Nothing more. No comfort from him. No words of encouragement. Not what he would have said before. You told him you needed him, and he disregarded that. So you started to become distant. Let him send letters first, which you hate to say, but it was rare. You gave him the same energy he gave you. You simply replied to his little to nothing updates and gave him the same. He never questioned it, if he even noticed.

While that was going on with you and Xaden. Liam, Imogen, and Bodhi had become your rocks. They had filled every empty void. They were the ones who stopped you. Liam had come to your foster parent's home a random night. You had sent him a letter that sounded far too much like a goodbye. They had all been on their toes and paying attention to every little detail about you, and it had been Liam who read in between the lines. When he got to your house, it was Imogen who answered the door. She looked confused, one because Liam looked like he had just seen Malek at his front doorstep, and two because you had said you were going over to his house… that's when it hit her.

It started with the letters, they found your letters, each addressed to a different person. Liam, Bodhi, Imogen, Garrick, Xaden, Kira; the woman who works at the bakery you love, Tristan; the only friend of yours who stuck by you after the apostasy, you foster parents, Elain; the unmarked girl who had been kind enough to help train you and Imogen before she went off to the riders quadrant, and many others.

Then they found the letter that was meant to help find your body. They bolted out the door the second they realized what it was. They were silent, but they were fast. They didn’t want to draw attention, especially because they knew you didn’t want anyone else to know, so they did it themselves. They knew exactly where you would be. The cliff where Xaden had said his goodbye to you before he left for the riders quadrant, the place where you and your father would run away too when things got too hectic in Aretia.

And they saw you, on the floor, sobbing. They ran over and Liam collected you in his arms while Imogen wiped the tears off your face. They comforted you, held you, they made sure you were as okay as you could be, they reassured you. But never once did they berate you, or try to make it about themselves. They stayed with you, in that exact spot, all night long.

“What do you mean now? I’ve always cared about you. You're my little sister. I do… care about Violet,” he says, pausing as if he doesn’t know if he truly does or not, and you scoff at that. This man does care about her, he’s fucking stupid if he doesn’t see that. But no, he knows he does, he just won’t admit it. He seems to be ignoring your clear disdain at his pause and continues. “but I also care about you. Again you’re my little sister. However, in case you didn’t know, the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. Not everything is always about you. You can’t fathom my attention being on someone aside from you? Are your fucking kidding me?!” He says. His brows are furrowed and once again he seems baffled. Baffled that you think he doesn’t care? When all he’s done is show you he doesn’t? When all he has done is show you he cares more about everything aside from you? And to add onto that he thinks that you have the mindset that the world revolves around you? That is far from the case. You can’t stand it, so you let it all out.

“Xaden I don’t care that you have… i dont fucking know, feelings for Violet. That's the least of my worries. I don’t care that you care about her life, what I care about is how you have so little regard for mine! That you seem to have absolutely no problem putting mine on the line for her sake. Don’t you see why that would bother me? Or are you that fucking dense. Also you have a really funny fucking way of showing me you ‘care’ about me.” You take a breath quickly before continuing. Not giving Xaden the chance to cut in. “As for what I meant earlier, fuck,” You say angrily as tears start to brim your eyes.

This is far from how you hoped this night would go. All you wanted was to spend time with your boyfriend, your rock, the man who stood by you at your worst and continues to. The man who didn’t run away when he realized just how broken you were. The man who helped you put back all the, as you say, broken pieces of yourself while reminding you that it's okay, that you are far from broken, you are simply a soul who’s hurting. The one who never berated you for showing emotion. One of the very few people who encouraged you to not bottle things up. The man who encouraged you to scream, cry, to hit and punch him if it meant feeling better, which you of course never did, but he was willing to take any of your anger away, even if it meant being a victim of it.

“Xaden, do you really have no clue?” Liam says. While trying to give you a moment and not let Xaden cut in. “Are you really that fucking clueless?” Imogen follows up, quite, no… very angrily.

“Listen I have no fucking clue what you three are hinting at. And I don’t have time for this shit-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You say as tears start to stream down your face. Liam and his gods damned pushing for you to show emotion. Now you can’t even hide it when you need to. “You don’t have time for this shit?! Really?! You really want to know? Fine. A year ago today I tried to end my life. Happy?”

Silence. Pure silence. All one could hear was your heavy breathing and sniffling. Xaden’s eyes shot wide open.

Liam’s hand reached for yours, lacing your fingers together. He squeezed your hand. He’s here. He’s always here for you. No matter what he’s by your side. On your side. Forever and always. Imogen's hand could be felt on your back. She’s here too. Always there for her baby sister, no matter the situation, she will always be there. Liam and Imogen. A constant You’ve come to learn you can’t live without.

“W-what?” Xaden says. Shock apparent in his voice.

“Is that all you have to say for yourself Xaden? What? That’s all I get?” Your voice is pure venom. Hate. Absolute loathing.

“I tried to tell you too. In my letters, during your second year. I told you I was struggling. I didn’t tell you I was fucking suicidal. But I told you I was struggling. A lot. I told you about how I was going through mental turmoil. That I NEEDED my big brother. But all you had to say to me was that you are also going through something. Nothing more. Nothing less. You didn’t give me the comfort I was lifelessly grasping for. And so I started to get distant. Not just because of your bullshit response, but because I wanted to see if you would put in any effort. And you didn’t. And slowly but surely our letters stopped. Because you never tried. You didn’t care. You were never there.” At this point you couldn’t even see him, but you didn’t even want to. Looking at his face, his shock, it disgusted you. You felt yourself about to throw up and quickly turned to your garbage bin that Imogen or Liam had, at some point changed the bag of, dropped to your knees and started to empty out the little contents that Liam had made sure you ate and drank, out. Liam’s had been quick enough to grab all your hair and held it up.

Imogen was quick to take care of the situation you were in no position to.

“Leave.” She said simply. But he simply stood. Staring at the floor. “Fucking leave Riorson.” she said when he made no sign of moving she was absolutely revolted by him.

“I- I can’t just leave. My sister-” he said. Tears brimming his eyes. “To hell with you and your sudden fucking care for her. Out. Now.” She said cutting him off. She didn’t care if he was sobbing and groveling at her feet. He needed to leave. Now.

He stared for a moment longer before nodding slowly. And turned for the door before pausing. “I’m sorry.” He said simply. Before opening the door and leaving.

-

As Xaden stepped out the door he let his tears fall. It was close to the time where people would start rising. But he knew no one would be up just yet. Besides he had his shadows to hide him, should anyone walk past him.

His little sister. His baby sister as he used to tease her. She contemplated taking her life and was searching for a semblance of support from him and he basically just said “same”.

He’s never felt like such a failure in his life. He didn’t even realize how shitty he had been. Not checking in? Not trying to continue to keep in close contact with his little sister of all people? Not catching onto the fact that she needed him? That she came searching for support and all she got was fucking “same”.

He knew there was no coming back from this. And if there was it would take months if not years. His mind goes reeling back to what you had said to him

“Is that all you have to say for yourself Xaden? What? That’s all I get?”

Your tone was pure hate. No, hate isn’t the word. Absolute loathing is more like it. And you were so revolted by his action you-

He fucked up. Really, really bad. And this was something he will never forget.

“I failed my little sister.”

“You did.” Sgaeyl says, not holding back at all.

”Did you know? Did her dragon ever give you even a hint at what she was going through?”

“You think so little of me? That I wouldn’t tell you about your dear sister's pain if I knew? If I knew you were being an absolute idiot I would have told you long ago. Need I remind you that you would put off reading her letters till late in the night? While I slept?”

“Fuck.”

“Indeed. Fix this.”

“You make it sound so simple. I can’t get back from this.”

“Her dragon tells me she has hope. Only a sliver of it. But hope nevertheless. Fix. It.”

“How?”

“This is a battle you must fight alone. I have told you there is a chance. It means nothing if I help you. This is entirely your own battle field that you yourself have created.”

“I understand.”

-

It started with something small… After days of trying to think of what to do, Xaden finally figured it out. Simply ensuring you had enough food in your system to fuel you throughout the day. He left you fruit, begging, which isn’t said lightly, Liam to put the bowl of freshly cut fruit in your dorm.

While he thought he was being slick, you knew it was him.

-

“Liam, brother, please. Let me take care of her in some way.” He begs.

“This will only serve to piss her off more Xaden, you and I both know it.” Liam says, sighing.

“I know, but that's only if she finds out it's me doing it.” Xaden says, almost smug. He clearly doesn’t know you.

“Fine.” Liam says taking the bowl of fruit to your dorm. He knew you weren’t there, you were spending the morning eating breakfast with Quinn and Imogen. He placed it on your bedside table, and quickly stole a slice of the peaches you love so much while Xaden wasn’t looking before walking out your door.

“Done.” Liam says.

“Hold on, did you take a piece?” Xaden says, turning Liam around. Liam had a smug grin on his face. “Yes… yes I did.”

-

“Liam, I know it's him, stop covering for his ass.” You say as you continue to clean your room, Liam lounging away on your freshly made bed. “Fine, but don’t kill him.” He says finally letting up. “Oh don’t worry your pretty little head. I won’t kill him. I quite enjoy the peaches and raspberries I get every morning.” You say grinning. “You cheeky little fox.” Liam says, and that's when you realize he's right behind you, but before you can turn he’s grabbing you and tossing you onto bed, before jumping on top of you and tickling you.

-

“He what?!” You exclaimed. “I thought you’d be more happy about me being put onto your squad.” Liam says, trying to ease the tension. “Liam, I am so happy. But you’ve been assigned to baby sit Violet. And sure I care about her but Xaden can’t just do that. What are you gonna sleep on her dorm room floor or something?” Jealousy seeping through your voice.

“My love.” He says simply before wrapping his arms around you. “Even if I did, it would be you on my mind.” He says teasingly. “Liam!” You whine. “I’m just teasing love. I would never. Even if I was being held up with a blade to my neck. The only woman's room I'll ever sleep in is yours.” He says while pressing kisses to your neck. You try to push him off but he continues, and sees the small smile tugging on your lips. “I see that smile.” He continues to kiss your neck. “Shut up.” You say turning your head, which only gives him more space to kiss. “Make me.” and make him you do.

-

“Xaden.” You say as you walk up to your older brother. You know that these little things have all been him. The brand new, albeit simple blanket that was left on your bed, the fruit, your 2 daggers you left in your dorm being sharpened and looking brand new, all of it was Xaden. You knew and Liam had confirmed that he was helping him. But the little things weren’t the problem, you quite liked it if you're being honest with yourself. No, the problem is that Xaden has now assigned the person you love the most to protect Violet. And because of this, you barely got to see Liam. Sure you were able to spend time together, but that was with your squad. Not alone. And even with the squad, he was constantly on edge, no moment between you two was ever really just you two. Then he goes and assigns Imogen to train her, which is fine, but now you and Imogen don’t spar together as much. However it does allow you to spar with your incredibly hot boyfriend.

“Yes?” he replies. “Liam. Of all people you chose Liam to guard Violet?” You say an annoyed tone in your voice. “He’s the best first year alongside you.” He shrugs. And he wouldn’t want to assign you to protect her again. Not after what happened the last time he tried to. He will never make that mistake again. However, there is one thing he doesn’t seem to understand. No one's life is expendable for Violets. No matter how much Xaden ‘cares’ about her. And sure he doesn’t see any of the marked ones as expendable, but putting them in harm's way for Violet, putting Liam, although he is entirely capable of protecting himself, in harm's way for Violet. Absolutely not.“It’s the smartest move.” He said, as though it's that simple. “You can’t put Liam’s safety on the line for Violets. That was the whole point of my argument. You can’t put anyone in any semblance of danger for her Xaden, why don’t you get that?” You say, eager for an answer. “Don’t start.” He says, ending the conversation. “Xaden! You are putting the two people who have always been there for me in danger. I would be angry with you no matter who, but to put them in this position? Are you fucking kidding me? The two people who were there for me when you weren’t? The two people who have shown time and time again that they care more about me than you ever have? Fuck you.” You say angrily before turning and walking away.

Regardless of your outburst, nothing changed. Liam was still Violet's babysitter and Imogen her trainer. Although you were still spending time with both of them, you missed the one on one time you got with them. Now it was you, Liam, and the squad, and you, Imogen, and Quinn. Never just you and Liam and you and Imogen.

-

“No!” Liam shouts before practically jumping in front of you to fight off Barlowe, just as he was about to, however Violet had acted, what neither of them notices though, was the dagger Jack had thrown. The dagger found its place right into your side, with a slash you had taken for Liam on the other, and your eyes were already closed. Liam quickly ran to your side as Violet fought Barlowe. He checks your pulse, hands shaking “Please.” He whispers. “Stay with me, my love. Stay with me.” A tear streamed down his face before he got up, sword and dagger drawn, as he turned to help Violet face Jack Barlowe.

Everything went by like a blur, Liam helping Violet fight Jack, Violet's signet manifesting, Violet taking down Jack with her newly manifested signet, killing said man, Liam carrying you to Deigh and flying back to where everyone else was, running with you in his arms to the healers. Nothing mattered to him, only you living and being mended. While Liam carried you to the healers, Xaden walked over to Violet, who looked distraught.

She had just killed someone.

But that was the least of his worries. His little sister is on the verge of death for all he knows.

“Violence. Thank you.” He says simply before heading off to the healers. As much as he cared for Violet, his baby sister was hurt.

And she comes before anything.

-

“What happened Liam?” Xaden says as soon as he walks into the healers ward. Although he knew whatever had happened wasn’t Liam's fault, he was still furious that this happened to you, and anyone could hear it in his voice. “Jack Barlowe happened. The slash was aimed at me, but she came in front of me and took the blow. Just as I was about to fight back Violet acted, but neither of us were fast enough to stop the dagger. I ran to her while Violet fought Barlowe, but she already passed out. We don’t know why she passed out so quickly, but she did.” Liam was rambling, clearly still in shock about all of this. Xaden let him though, he knew Liam needed to get it out of his system to calm down, he a;so knew that this wasn’t because someone he cares about was hurt, he knew this burst of emotions was because you were hurt. That isn’t just anyone for Liam. “I went to help Violet after making sure she was okay, but by then her signet manifested and she was clearly dealing with the whole situation. So I took her to Deigh and brought her here.” Liam took a deep shuddering breath. Xaden let him take a minute, he needed it.

“Thank you.” Xaden said after a moment. “You take care of her. You care about her, more than anyone I know. Hell more than I have recently. So thank you. Thank you for being there for her when I failed to be.” Xaden truly was thankful for Liam. He knew Liam loved you in a way he’s never seen in anyone before. True love. “I would do it a million times over, even if it killed me.” Liam said simply. Just then the doors slam open, a huffing Imogen comes into view. “How is she doing? How is my sister?!” She says urgently. “She’s okay. Just asleep right now. She woke up for a brief moment, but was barely conscious before she fell asleep. Healers said she’s probably gonna be out till tomorrow, which is good. It gives her time to heal.” Liam answers. “Thank gods.” She says, and Xaden shares the same thought. He had never felt so relieved in his life.

She's okay. Xaden says to Sgaeyl

I know she is. I never doubted that one. She's strong. She replies.

-

After your injury, everything with Xaden seemed to change. Not in a bad way either, just… it was different now. He was no longer trying to be an amazing older brother by basically bribing his way onto your good side. Sure he continued little things, but he no longer looked to see if you appreciated it. He just did it for the sake of doing it. That is when you finally started to accept the little things, without arguing at least.

He finally understands what to do. Your dragon says.

What? Now you're confused, what on earth does he mean by that.

Don’t worry my dear. He said simply.

-

Today was your birthday. Last year you had hoped that maybe your brother would surprise you with a visit for your birthday, to make up for his behaviour, or lack thereof, towards you, but nothing.

You had never been so let down in your life.

Your birthdays have always been hard since your fathers execution. You hated them, but you slowly found a love for them again because of Liam and Imogen. They always tried to make you smile and did the most, even though they didn’t have to. However whenever you said that, they would say “Of course we have to, you're precious to us. We would spell out your name with the stars if it was possible.”

So although they were hard, they were also the times you made some of the best memories in your life.

Today was different, there was something off about today, you just didn’t know what. It wasn’t bad, nowhere near a bad feeling. You just felt like something big was bound to happen today.

Just as you rolled out of bed, there was a knock at your door. You walked over and opened the door slightly and to her surprise it was Xaden. He stands there holding a chocolate cake in one hand, how he got a full cake, although it was small, is beyond her, and in the other hand is a beautifully sheathed dagger, the hilt was decorated with blue gem stones, identical, no exactly the same as the scales of Sgaeyl and Rionnag.

“Happy birthday?” He said hesitantly. She simply opens the door wider, and Xaden walks in. He places the cake down before turning to her and holds out the dagger. “This is for you. I brought it over the parapet with me, along with its twin blade. They belonged to our father, he forged this for you, and mine for me, and he told me to forge gems into the hilt based on the dragon that you would claim. He knew you would claim a dragon. I don’t know how, but he knew.”

You always wanted to join the riders quadrant, and your father and Xaden were always certain you would make it. At first they thought it was a phase, then when they realized you were serious, they tried to talk you out of it, both being fiercely protective of you. However you were your fathers daughter, and that meant you were incredibly stubborn. So instead they started to train you.

“Xaden, this is… amazing. Thank you.”A light line of tears brims your eyes, but you quickly blink it away. This was one of the best gifts you could have gotten. Hearing and seeing physical proof that your father had so much hope in you, makes you so beyond happy. However it also breaks your heart, knowing you can’t thank him for this gift. Thank him for his belief in you, and for allowing you to and giving you the resources you needed to pursue your dreams.

Xaden hesitates, but he knows you need it, so he takes three strides over to you before wrapping his arms around you. That is when you crumble. He simply holds you, brushing his hand through your hair. He didn’t say a word, just held you. And for that you were grateful, all you wanted in that moment was to be held by your big brother, and he knew that.

“I’ve got you.”

-

After spending the first part of your morning with Xaden, breakfast with Imogen, and the rest of the day with your squad, you finally got to spend one on one time with Liam alone, without the chaos and teasing of your squad.

“I know I said it before, but happy birthday my love.” Liam says as he wraps his arms around you from behind. You had just grabbed a fresh change of clothes to wear after you got out of the shower. “Thank you Li.” You say holding his hands that have wrapped around your body close. “I love you.” He says as he presses kisses to your neck. “I love you more.” You say giggling, as the kisses tickle. Liam knows how sensitive you are on your neck and takes it to his advantage. “I love you most.” He says placing one last kiss before turning you around to kiss you properly.

His lips met yours softly. He was always so soft with you. No matter the situation he was always so gentle. Not because he thought you were weak though, never that, it was because he knew you needed some softness in your life that was full of sharp edges which cut deep.

You tilt your head to deepen the kiss, and Liam follows your lead before taking control again. His tongue caresses your bottom lip, seeking permission, which you give instantly. Heat blooms all over your body, consuming you. “Liam.” You moan breathlessly. “I know baby.” He says equally as breathless. He leads you towards the showers and kicks the door shut.

Thud

-

You slowly rise from your bed and rub the sleep from your eyes, the dim mage lights still managing to blind you temporarily. As you rise, you feel an arm shift, Liam's arm. After your… activities, Liam and you had cuddled and fallen asleep together. It was clearly late in the night as you and Liam had come to your room a while after dinner. After dinner your squad, mostly Ridoc, demanded you all go out and do a night ride on your dragons, after that (and bothering your dragons a bit) you all decided it was time to head back to your own dorms, or in Liam's case, yours.

The night with Liam had been passionate and full of love. Each touch was sweet and gentle, like a feather blowing in the wind. Your nights with him always were.

However you awoke with a determination set in your bones, and so, you wrote a letter for Liam, in case he woke up while you were gone, and set off on your short journey.

To Xaden’s room.

-

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Three sharp knocks echo across the hallway as you wait for your brother to answer his door. Anyone else would be asleep right now, but knowing your brother and how he is, he is probably wide awake working, or planning the next weapons drop. The door opens slowly, and a sleepy Xaden emerges. Clearly you had been wrong, apparently today was the one day he was actually sleeping.

“Hey.” You say slowly. “Hey.” He replies groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Sorry I didn’t think you'd be asleep.” You say sheepishly. “No, no. I was doing some work, just fell asleep at my desk is all. Want to come in?” He says opening the door wider, welcoming you in. “Um, yeah.” You say and step into his room. This was one of the few times you had been in here, one of three to be exact. The first was when you had crossed the parapet, prior to going to where all the first years would be sleeping, to tell you about Violet being there, which you knew the second you saw her hair, the second was when you had claimed Rionnag, but that was only to tell you about Violet and his life being tied together, not to tell you he was happy for you or proud of you, and now this was the third, hopefully nothing about Violet this time.

You did like her, truly she was a great squadmate and girl to be somewhat friends with, but your brother seemed to only care about her, and even put her life above yours, that was what infuriated you. You loved Liam, but if someone asked you to choose one life over the other, you wouldn’t be able to, and you had been with Liam for years, been friends with him longer. Xaden only knew Violet for a couple months. That's what broke you more.

Aside from all of that. Violet was one of the people you enjoyed being around. You had spent many quiet moments with her alone. Especially recently, which is shocking considering everything. You studied with her most, after Imogen and Bodhi of course. Imogen helped you out with all the stuff she never had any help with. As close as she was with the Garrick, they never really… studied. As for Bodhi, aside from studying with you, he prefers to do it alone. Besides he usually does what Imogen does, helps you out with all that he missed. The difference between the two is that Bodhi has the patience to help you out with anything you don’t understand, Imogen doesn’t.

Violet was the only person you were actually able to study with from your squad, and you were the only one for her as well. Liam and you never studied much, you guys would always abandon it for simply talking, cuddling, or other… activities. You had grown closer to Sawyer, Rhiannon, and Ridoc, but you’d never been able to study with them. You and Sawyer would usually get distracted by your signets, him bending metals into different forms, and you blinding him with your light signet, or you two using your signets together and making light shine through whatever he formed. Rhiannon and you were all time gossips, and would never even get to anything remotely close to studying. Ridoc and you would only snack away, and go hunting for more snacks when you finished the ones you had brought for your ‘study breaks’.

Violet and Sawyer would simply talk about their childhoods, Ridoc made too many sex jokes and teased her way too much about Xaden, Liam only served to aggravate her as he was her new bodyguard, and Rhiannon and her had the same problem as you and Rhiannon did, gossips.

As such the two of you gravitated towards each other, finding time to study together, or simply enjoy each other's company in silence while you either read, finished up work, simply sat and watched the clouds or stars, sat with your dragons, or walked around after classes. Regardless you found yourself enjoying her company more and more after the chaos between you and Xaden had ensued.

“Did something happen to you? Are you okay?” He asks once he shut the door, clearly worried and thinking something had brought you here. “No actually, nothing happened. I just…,” You trail off thinking about how he’ll take your next words. Either he will shut down the conversation before it even starts or he will sit silently as you talk. “I miss dad is all.” You held your breath as soon as the words left your mouth. “I do too, but I assume it being your birthday makes it hurt more, right?” He says, sending a ripple of shock through you. You hadn’t expected that. “Yeah actually, that's exactly it. I wish I could tell him just how much this dagger means to me.” He nods as you speak, showing you he’s listening as he looks at you intently. “It’s more than a gift to me. It shows that he truly did believe in me and my efforts. He knew I would make it, and that means the world. You two were the two people I expected to hold me back, worry that I wouldn’t make it, especially dad, but he didn’t, even though I was only 11, he still believed I would make it. I just wish he was here to see me now. With a dragon who calls me his own.” You say as tears brim your eyes, you blink them away quickly, but Xaden is quick with his actions. He pulls you into a hug, holding you close. “I can assure you he would be so so proud of you. Because I know I am, I know I've done a shit job of showing it, but I am. So are the rest of the marked ones who knew you wanted to be here. I know Bodhi was, he was nearly in tears seeing you cross the parapet. Imogen knocked you off your feet when she saw you. Garrick giving you the biggest bone crushing bear hug. Kira, Tristan, Elain, they all sent Imogen letters asking if you’d made it, asked how you were doing, and also asked her to send them a letter when you had finally claimed a dragon, not if, when. Don’t tell Imogen I told you that.” He said, that girl would kill him if she found out he had told you. She had been planning to surprise you with all the letters they’d sent when you made it to second year.

Tears were streaming down your face at this point, you didn’t bother to hide it. Having this side of Xaden back after so long hit you like Codagh flying full speed. You never thought you would have this side of your big brother back, but here he was. Holding you close, wiping away your tears, making sure to comfort you.

And this was all you could have ever asked for.

-

You opened your eyes, and just as before, the mage lights, although dim, blinded you. Squinting you got up and realized quickly that you had ended up falling asleep in Xaden’s room.

He had tucked you into bed before falling asleep on his desk chair, letting you take over the bed as he usually did when you guys were younger. However now, he was up and working.

Is he always working or something? Does this man ever sleep? You wonder to yourself.

According to Sgaeyl, this is a normal occurrence. However my dear youngling, it is the next day. Afternoon actually. Rionnag says calmly.

Afternoon?! I have classes, why wouldn’t Xaden wake me?! You exclaim mentally before voicing your thoughts.

“Xaden why the fuck wouldn’t you wake me up?! I have class!” You exclaim jumping out of bed.

“No you don’t. I excused you. You were exhausted last night, that's why you slept so long.” He says, equally as calm as Rionnag had. You let out a sigh, take a deep breath, and launch yourself at your brother's frame.

Hugging him.

He tenses, before turning around and standing, and hugging you back.

“Thank you.” You say hugging him tighter. “Of course.”

After sitting around in his room for a bit, you enjoyed the fresh fruit Xaden had brought you while he told you about how Liam had dropped by for a bit. He of course teased you about how you curled up into Liam's chest the second he lay next to your sleeping form. What he failed to mention was that he had a smile on his face seeing you like that with Liam. Liam made you feel so safe that even in sleep you gravitated towards him, simply sensing his presence. He failed to mention how the usual tension in his shoulders dissipated, however Liam had noticed, and would tell you the second he got the chance, but Xaden didn’t know that.

You had simply told him to shut up when he teased you, throwing a pillow at him which he caught effortlessly, throwing it back at you, which you also caught, and the pillow fight began.

-

After a while of your two fighting with pillows (you won of course), you two both lay on the floor simply talking. A bit about your father, a bit about your childhoods in Aretia, and of course some teasing from Xaden about you and Liam before you two started dating and how obvious you both were with your crushes.

Liam and Garrick had dropped by in the evening to drop off some food, realizing after not seeing you two for hours, that you were spending the day together. Only then had both of you realized how much time had passed.

After you two had eaten, you decided you wanted answers.

“Why?” You said simply. However Xaden knew exactly what you were asking.

“I was struggling. I had the weight of all the marked ones lives on my shoulders, their safety, your safety, relied on my survival. There was also the stress of all the weapon drops Garrick and I did. We were constantly making sure we left no trail to be traced. Otherwise we would be killed, and again, the rest of your lies would probably be in danger. Then of course there was the stress of surviving here, in the riders quadrant, especially with Tauri and his followers, but none of it excuses my behaviour towards you, and I know that. I was a shit brother to you. I feel it. Knowing what you went through and how I simply shrugged off all your pain and suffering. I am so fucking sorry. I know that won’t take back the years of hurt I put you through, but I truly am so sorry.” He said, clearly hating himself for putting you through that.

“I understand that, but Xaden, what you did wasn’t okay.” You say, hoping this wouldn’t start an argument. “I know,” And you let out a sigh of relief at that “and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that, even though I will never be able to.”

You sat in silence for a while longer, and that was when you noticed Xaden slowly falling asleep. Clearly he was exhausted, you knew he didn’t sleep well in his desk chair, so you told him to lay down properly, which he did with no argument, clearly tired, and fell asleep as soon as you put the covers over him. You watch him for a moment, so calm and serene, before you get up and look at his books. You find one that you both adored as children. One about witches and wizards, and of course you grab it and sit down at the end of his bed, pulling the covers over your lap and start reading.

-

After a while, maybe 2-3 hours, Xaden wakes up to find you still reading away. He has a smile on his face seeing you read. Even though you’d read this book about 50 times, you still looked so fascinated reading it. He slowly gets up, catching your attention.

“Hey.” You say softly, knowing he hates when people speak loudly as soon as he wakes up. “Hey.” He says groggily, it's clear he’s still sleepy. “It's late, why are you still reading? We have class tomorrow.” He says sternly, although he yawns right after, making you let out a small laugh. “I didn’t wanna just leave. It felt wrong. Especially after the conversation we had.” You say truthfully. “Well lets go, it's time for both of us to get a good night's sleep.” He says getting up and throwing on a jacket. Tonight was cold. He hands you a jacket, Liam's jacket, which Liam probably left here when he dropped by while you were asleep, you had never even noticed it. Regardless, you quickly throw it on. Both of you make your way to the door and head out into the cold hallway.

-

Xaden doesn’t walk you back to your room. He knows that you hate being alone on especially cold nights, and third year dorms are warmer than the first years, so he can’t imagine how much you’d hate being alone in yours. So he walks you back to Liam's.

You quickly knock on Liam's door, freezing, regardless of the jacket you have on. Liam is quick to open his door.

“Hey sweetheart.” He says pulling you into a hug, knowing you're probably freezing. “Hey Xaden.” He nods at your brother. “What happened?” He says looking down at you. “I thought she’d wanna spend the night with you, given that it's freezing out, and I know first year dorms usually get the worst of it.” Both men hear you hum in agreement. “And she probably wants someone to baby her.” He says teasingly. “Shut up.” You say, burrowing yourself deeper into Liam's embrace. “Thats probably true.” Liam says in an equally teasing tone. You quickly pull away, punching Liam’s shoulder. “Assholes, I tell you.” you say offended. “Please, you know it's true.” Xaden says. “Goodnight Xaden.” You say. Quickly giving him a kiss on his cheek before pushing him away from the door. “Goodnight baby sister.” He says with a shit eating grin, before turning and walking back to the direction of his dorm. You quickly shut the door before turning to Liam. “And you,” You say before tackling him to the bed. “You’re supposed to be on my side, you dick.” You say straddling him. “I am, my love. Speaking of, how’d it all go?” He says completely switching the topic, which you allow. “It went really well. I feel like I finally have my big brother back Liam, this is amazing.” You say happily. “I’m so happy for you my love.” He says as he leans up and kisses your cheek.

“I love you Liam, so much. Thank you for everything.” You say hugging him close. “I love you too baby, I will always be here for you. No matter what. And that is a promise.” He kisses your neck, holding you impossibly close.

You had never felt so happy in your life. Surrounded by love and happiness, even in this hell you call home. You still found something that you haven’t had in so long,

Peace.

-

THE END!!

Author's Note: I have so many little comments to make, but first I wanna start with saying thank you all so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading part 2 as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It was so sad at first, but as I kept going it was so much fun to write.

This is the longest thing I have ever written, so I am very proud of myself! Anyhoo, I added a few things that relate to me personally to this story. For example; showering after work, not going into bed (EVER) with outside clothes on (yuck), how reader is ticklish on her neck (I am super ticklish and feel like I would jump if someone kissed my neck softly–I won't be able to test this assumption for a while), how reader didn’t care for the acts of care–she wanted genuine care, reader being stubborn, and Xaden calling reader his ‘baby sister’ – my older sisters both do this (6 and 12 year age gap). On a less happy note, the furthest I ever got with my attempt was writing out all my letters and having a plan and the idea of the date set. It was a very hard time in my life that I truly did not think I would get through, but clearly I did, and I am so happy I did. I am so happy now, and also much stronger than I was before. If you are going through something, do not hesitate to reach out to someone, hell even me. I am always willing to talk to you, even if I don't know you, even if you only read one of my works, I don’t care. You. Matter. So don't forget it.

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