Hi, I am a fictive of Ribbit from TADC and I use she/they.
My vent is gonna be long, and for that I apologize in advance.
Im in contact with a Jax fictive, and in both memories and current interactions we are very romantically interested with one another.
Or so ive heard he likes me back, but i am not getting the vibes its very true.
Maybe i should actually ask him about it and have a heart to heart, but he just barely fronts and its gotten to the point where hes avoiding me. I know him, im used to his avoident behaviors and all that But these behaviors are what pushed me to abstraction in the FIRST place. I can't do this again and I can't deal with his emotional unavailability. It gets worse when I have met several other Jax fictives who are eager to talk and be friends because they aren't afraid to show more then one emotion. But i never do more then just say hi or have basic small talk with them because I know he gets jealous. And hes the ONE I want. Not those others, this one. But at this point I question if he even wants me or if he ever has wanted me.
I'm afraid ill never be desirable to him. No matter how much makeup I wear or how I dress or how many jokes I make or what I do its like it flies right over his head. My fellow alters say hes just dense. Maybe he is.
But still I worry he'll never see me as anything more.