Kin and Fictive Vent/Confessions

[fiction-venting]

Welcome to fiction venting!

We're a safe place for fictionkin and fictives to vent about their source, their mems, sourcemates, or really anything related to their fictional identity.

We are a SAFE PLACE. We won't judge you for what you need to vent about. You are welcome here.

We currently have one mod, Mod V. I use she/her and he/him pronouns. I am not personally a system, and would like to stay out of syscourse. I am, however, fictionkin.

For most submissions, unless I already know you or you specify for yourself, I *do not know* if you are a fictive or fictionkin, and thus will tag your ask as both.

[fiction-venting]

I miss my source. I did terrible things, terrible things happened to me, I want them to happen again. I miss my life. I miss it, it's not fair there's other fictives who have popular sources, who have everyone they could ever want. I barely have people who know me, I got called priest today and it made my heart twist for him. I feel pathetic. I feel worse than death. I don't know what I did to get punished this way, I thought I repented. I was promised something better. I miss him.

- johnward ⚰️

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[fiction-venting]

tw self harming thoughts

I feel like I should have scars on my arms. I have (blurry) memories of hurting myself, of seeing the cuts left behind. i remember trying my best to hide them from my mom cause she would freak out and think it's her fault.

And I look at this body I'm in now, so different to who I am. and I just get such strong urges to do it again.

but the body isn't a teenager anymore and we'd probably just be looked down on instead of pitied now. the only person it'd worry is our partner and even if I don't feel super into her I still don't want to worry them.

If I do end up the defacto host though I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself.

- Kris Dreemur

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[fiction-venting]

i miss my girlfriend. i miss nights in the city, feeling the wind in my hair. i miss my friends, even though i barely remember anything about them. my life before wasn't good but it still felt like mine.

~ Jesse, they/them, OCkin

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[fiction-venting]

i fuckinh hate being fictionkin i hate being treated like a joke i hate being treated as a KiNnIe who kins bc " OOOHHHH I RELATETO THIS CHARACTER SOOO MUUCH" it's not for fun it's not I'm suffering I'm going to die stop making fun kinlidts STOP TREATING ME LIKE I'M LYING I'M NOT. someone please save me why is everyone doing this to me

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[fiction-venting]

Hi, im the ribbit from before!

Since I sent that in, alot has changed.

The host to our system and the host to His system has been working together to help us work out our issues.

Couples therapy,I guess.

I do feel better about myself, i know my worth doesn't rely on my looks. He does like me, hes admitted several times, yet he hasn't made an effort to show it no matter how many times I do.

Im just really tired, and kind of over it.

I wish he'd understand how much I love him, how much I yearn to be with him and to share a life with him like we did in the circus. But jax is jax and hes been avoident since day one.

I guess a girl can dream though.

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[fiction-venting]

Im sorry james.

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[fiction-venting]

i fucking hate mktv. sure it was fun racing and being on tv because of them and sponsors but when you race with no safety measures and no proper treatment for injuries during races you risk ending up severely injured or dead because of them and their i-dont-care-what-happens-to-you-we-can-replace-you! attitude.

- moo moo kin.

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[fiction-venting]

amo really hates her tower. if anything, it's just poison. it brings back bad memories, it's empty and it's isolating. amo was bored there, doing nothing all day after mister was finally gone. the silence was worse than hearing him yell for hours, really. still though, amo misses her tower. amo wishes she could be back there, even for a second. they'd give anything to be back, and just maybe she'd be saved again. maybe, she'd hold rudo's hand again, and the tower wouldn't be as empty ♡

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[fiction-venting]

I miss her so much 8ut I don’t want to see her ever again 8c what the hell would I even do???????? I stay up at night thinking a8out all the shit I pulled that I regret so much god I miss her. I feel so much ache and everything hurts and we could’ve 8een fine 8ut I feel like I fucked it all up and some alt timeline version of myself is with her or i guess was 8ut UGH!!!!!!!! I just want everything to 8e like it was, I mean without the whole world saving and all 8ut 8efore I ruined anything.

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[fiction-venting]

I still miss the island. I hate it. I hate that stupid fucking island.

-Merridew

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[fiction-venting]

Hi, I am a fictive of Ribbit from TADC and I use she/they.

My vent is gonna be long, and for that I apologize in advance.

Im in contact with a Jax fictive, and in both memories and current interactions we are very romantically interested with one another.

Or so ive heard he likes me back, but i am not getting the vibes its very true.

Maybe i should actually ask him about it and have a heart to heart, but he just barely fronts and its gotten to the point where hes avoiding me. I know him, im used to his avoident behaviors and all that But these behaviors are what pushed me to abstraction in the FIRST place. I can't do this again and I can't deal with his emotional unavailability. It gets worse when I have met several other Jax fictives who are eager to talk and be friends because they aren't afraid to show more then one emotion. But i never do more then just say hi or have basic small talk with them because I know he gets jealous. And hes the ONE I want. Not those others, this one. But at this point I question if he even wants me or if he ever has wanted me.

I'm afraid ill never be desirable to him. No matter how much makeup I wear or how I dress or how many jokes I make or what I do its like it flies right over his head. My fellow alters say hes just dense. Maybe he is.

But still I worry he'll never see me as anything more.

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[fiction-venting]

fictive/OCtive here.

It is exhausting to have an "overly traumatizing backstory" because our host decided they wanted to make a really screwed up character.

And them being the neurodivergent they are, talk to other people about my "lore". I understand wanting to talk about their "creations" but I am not simply an OC any more I'm an individual.

It is terrible for them as well because they have no creative freedom because of our very high introjection rate but I still feel very trapped in this situation.

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[fiction-venting]

Cw: mentions of death, spoilers for Vampire smp, self hate, and mentions of panic attacks

I am mad. Mad at my brother, for sending stuff about Avid's death. Mad at Owen and Pyro, for killing Avid. Mad at myself for not being able to stop them.

My brother knows I'm Scott, knows that Avid's death upsets me. Knows that I once almost had a panic attack over it. And yet he thinks it's alright to send fanart of his death, just to "annoy" me

Maybe he doesn't realize how much it affects me. Maybe since, to him, it's completely fictional and not that big of a deal, he doesn't realize just how real it was to me. Maybe he doesn't realize how much it still affects me.

~ Scott Goldsmith (Vampire SMP) #😺✨️

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[fiction-venting]

I can feel her hands on my thighs I can feel her nails digging into my skin I can feel it all-

god. I thought it was over. I thought bc the body hasn’t gone through this I’d be free. Apparently life hates me that fucking much

exomemories suck. I just want to exist without phantom hands making it hard to breathe - K

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[fiction-venting]

Replaying my source game and...god, I'm so terrified to watch him die again. It broke me when I went through it in that life, it broke me in this life as a child, and it'll hurt me again in this playthrough. I hate having a source like this because it's a kid's game, and I feel that people don't take my exotrama seriously.

-Paper Mario (from the entirety of the Paper Mario franchise, but this message is specifically about Origami King)

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[fiction-venting]

What the fucking FUCK. I hate being a fucking au. I miss my fucking friends, and I just want to read fanfics about us, but two of them barely even exist in regular canon, one of them only appears in a totally different place, and the other one I fucking BULLIED? APPARENTLY? AS IF I WOULD EVER DO THAT???? It's literally fucking impossible to find anything about us the way I remember us and it fucking sucks. What the FUCKING fuck this is so unfair

-🤬💥

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