Lurking since 2015

If you recognise me from somewhere else no you don't ♡

[enki2]

[lokaror]

i eat your grandads clothes

[flyingsquidzeez]

Macklemoth

[cyborbs-deactivated20231020]

best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say

[vulpineprince]

sometimes the subject of your thoughts is just in this thing

[ablondpanda]

Ah, there it is!

The TUMBLER!

[knitmeapony]

The tumblr blorbo in the blorbo tumbler.

[slitherpunk]

but do you play shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less 🤨

[slitherpunk]

the thing about "I want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and I'm not kidding" is that these games exist and are out there and you have to make the conscious choice to seek them out instead of just expecting the big companies to deliver this, because they will not

[slitherpunk]

addendum

[shopwitchvamp]

“Omg, I love these! They go up to size 6X AND they have pockets?! Wow!! But do you have anything longer?”

Sure do, no problem!!

“YES these are great!!! But what about.. longer?”

I gotcha!! Comin’ right up!

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about! But... how about if I'm feeling like it's the kinda day where I need my clothing to be bifurcated???"

Never fear, joggers are here!

*wild cheering* /scene

🖤 witchvamp.com 🖤 PS: Dᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴍɪss ᴏᴜʀ sᴀʟᴇ! 15% ᴏғғ sɪᴛᴇᴡɪᴅᴇ ᴛʜʀᴜ Sᴜɴᴅᴀʏ 6/14

[bumi05]

some old doodle.

poor pearl.

[schlimdog]

theres a dhar mann waiting in the sky

what happens next will shock you, even bring tears to your eyes

theres a dhar mann waiting in the sky

he hated on the homeless they were rich dudes in disguise

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman-blog]

[dragirlinstall]

taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough

[hoofpeet]

(What would it feel like?)

I’M SORRY BUT THE NORWEGIAN BUTTER CRISIS OF 2011 JUST CONFUSES MY GODDAMN BRAIN BECAUSE HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES AN ENTIRE COUNTRY RUN OUT OF BUTTER. DID NORWAY JUST COME DOWNSTAIRS LIKE: N:*Opens fridge* HELVETE N:VI KJØRTE UT AV SMØREN

[caffinatedstory]

I was gonna explain how the butter crisis happened. but then I noticed your fucking /hilarious/ attempt at writing “we’ve run out of butter” I’m not sure if you know but you just basically wrote: “We drove out of the lubrication”

[dude-the-ancient-dragon]

THE POST FROM THE LEGENDS! IVE ONLY SEEN IN SCREEN CAPS!

[teaboot]

Highly unlikely to be of use but I want a card I can carry in my wallet that says “If I Die First In A Traumatic Survival Scenario I Want You To Know I’m Okay With You Cannibalizing Me, It’s Fine, Don’t Be Weird And Guilty About it”. And then on the back there could be like. A list of recipes n shit

[teaboot]

To be clear, I don’t WANT to be cannibalized. It’s not my personal preference. It’s just that if I beef it out in the open somewhere and some poor starving fuck has to have a crisis of ethics over using the protein or dying in a hole, I’d want to some way to let them know my dead ass is rooting for them

[teaboot]

New Hot Take: I Think An Organ Donor Card Counts In A Pinch, Actually

[the-haiku-bot]

New Hot Take: I Think

An Organ Donor Card Counts

In A Pinch, Actually

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[coelasquid]

Because I’m from the part of Canada where every kid has to learn about cold weather survival because it’s -60 all winter; a fun thing someone told me once about cannibalizing someone who has starved to death in a survival situation is that a body that has died of starvation has very low caloric value due to the depleted tissue reserves and degradation to muscle quality. So between the poor quality of the meat and the danger of refeeding syndrome if you’ve been starving for a long time and suddenly have access to food, eating a person who died of starvation while you are also starving runs the risk of burning more calories than it provides you with and making you starve faster.

(I’d make more effort to fact check this for you all but my source is just “this is the kind of shit people talk about in the tundra” and google is useless now)

[terastalungrad]

I can't work out if I'm more shocked by cannibalism being a necessary talking point in parts of Canada or by Haiku Bot thinking "actually" is only two syllables.

[threedollarsdotcom]

okay fine well if you dont wanna play dissection or mind control then what else is there

[samsincerely]

EVERYONE get in the tags rn and tell me your favorite cheese

[fiddybombiddy]

sometimes when you smell fire you just have to evaluate whether it pertains to you, and that's the aussie experience 💪

[tweetsongs]

i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.

[swoodthis]

Stereotypical eldritch mass of eyes and tentacles but then it starts coming apart and it’s actually a huge cuddle pile of Vessels