everything is sufficiently bright

miri • 🐟 • all pronouns

[visenyaism]

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

[tranthony]

grout white shark

[segamascott]

[zapatism]

lol ur watching the world cup finals sorry im too busy HAVING SEX

(texting my dick guy) we gotta have sex rn i just blogged

(dick guy) im watching the world cup

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[bugdotpng]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[xalatath]

IMPORTANT

[karvina]

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

[fallout-lou-begas]

[euphorictruths]

The Lovers, The Lovers Return- Parker Parrella; 2024, 2025

[obfuscatingintelligence]

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

[viviantimmet]

(via @yellowocaballero)

[avalonjoan]

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

[xalatath]

3-5 turkey vultures will soon be dispatched to your location.

[87sukiyaki]

[hawkpartys]

i really like old species descriptions

the species in question

[wizardarchetypes]

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

[ate-a-chili]

You cast your line into the murky depths.

Trout 1 has shunned your worm!

Trout 2 has shunned your worm!

Trout 5 has shunned your worm!

Trout 8 has shunned your worm!

Trout 7 has shunned your worm!

Trout 3 has shunned your worm!

Trout 5 has eaten a snail.

Trout 9 has shunned your worm!

Trout 10 has shunned your worm!

Trout 11 has shunned your worm!

[spider-artdump]