The Healing Pit

Hey - I'm Harper. 23. This is the journey of a student nurse regulating her endocrine system and losing weight: the right way. I used this blog to lose 64 kilos two years ago. But life happened: I developed an eating disorder was diagnosed with PCOS, hormone imbalance and BED. This is my journey to find recovery: health, healing and balance for good. ______________ Starting Weight: 123kg Current Weight: 113kg Goal Weight: 75kg Weight Lost so far: 12kg - Harper

[sashacoki]

[catharinethegreat]

[finchesandinches]

Accountability

I’ve decided to come back to this blog.

Over the two years I was active, I lost over 60 kilos.

Unfortunately, life happened in the most awful way.  Unforeseeable trauma, a tumultuous, abusive relationship, the loss of my home and mental health and a resulting eating disorder, being diagnosed with hormone imbalances and PCOS meant that I have unfortunately put all that weight back on. Yes, all of it. PLUS SOME.  I am now the heaviest I have ever been in my life.

This is very hard to even say. It is hard enough to get up in the morning and shower, because it means that I have to look at myself every morning and I haven’t been able to really face that yet. I am instead, binge eating and addicted to uber eats as a way to numb myself and comfort the pain. I have found no solace or relief in the healthcare system as it typically fails those with the stigmatised, binge eating disorder. So I know I must take this into my own hands.

Blogging was a very beneficial way to both keep myself accountable, grounded and develop the skills I need to lose weight. I have full intention of losing all this weight again, and luckily because of this blog, I know I can do that. 

Recovery is not a linear process. Life does happen, and I never truly recovered from my previous binge eating disorder, I instead turned it into bulimia and starving and I have no motivation to ever be like that again. 100 kilos wasn’t healthy and neither was 50. I want to be healthy, happy, and i know I can.

Thankyou for still being here. You’ve watched me succeed once, and I hope you can watch me do it again. Much love, Harper.

[parentless-suggestions]

I’ve not let it break me. I’m not going to let it break me. I am strong enough to get through this, and I’m able to do it alone. They will never ruin me, because I’m not letting them have that much power.

[respectfulmemes]

[sloth-society]

[h0peless-necr0mantic-deactivate]

Bright Eyes 🖤

[sensitivehomo]

looking for students/former students who have struggled or are struggling with substance abuse/alcoholism

hi everyone :) i’m currently in the process of writing an article on how university drinking culture impact students & how it leads a number of people to develop drinking problems. 

if you have experienced substance misuse while at university or if you believe the drinking culture surrounding uni/college contributes to the normalisation of alcoholism, i’d appreciate it if you could get in touch with me! you can either message me on this blog or email me at [email protected]

thanks! X

[the-chosenone]

[poetry-recovery]

The self care that works for me:

I read a lot of master posts but rarely do they work for me, So if you are sick/having a bad week/relapsing

This is what I REALLY ACTUALY DO

Wash your face/hands: this will make you feel so much better trust me

Shave your armpits (if that’s a thing you do) for me it makes me feel fresher and cleaner

If you’re in pain TAKE A TYLENOL. Don’t just be in pain. You are allowed to be comfortable

Clean something: this makes me feel like I am in control of something in my life

Watch a comedy tv show (my go-to’s are Impractical Jokers, The Office, Parks and Rec)

Eat something sweet: I’m tired of posts that say ‘eat some veggies/ something whole and healthy’ that’s great don’t get me wrong but chocolate works on the same part in your brain as opiates and they also release dopamine which is the happy chemical so it’s a really good thing for cravings or [believe it or not] sadness. -just don’t go crazy and let that be the only thing you eat all day

Message someone-a friend, your parents, or even a stranger. Just have a conversation with a human.

Sleep. Get a full night rest. It’s the best thing you need right now

[kevingetem]

I really be breaking my own heart expecting to get what I give

[lizardeater706-deactivated20201]

please, i need you

[mrsgalbraith]

[odiozinho-blog]

[cherryblossomgirlbyair]

Woman Hating: A Radical Look at Sexuality (1974), Andrea Dworkin

[brokesexworker]

Sugar baby Girlfriend

I wish I had a girlfriend who was a fellow sex worker/sugar baby. We would hustle men then come home and fuck in a pile if money.

[powerfulviolet24]

Don’t wait for approval. Not everyone will understand your vision. You just need to believe in yourself, remain positive and go get it done.

Advice for Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Aquarius, Pisces

Guys, you are the only person whose opinion of you should worry. Firstly love yourself 

(via powerfulviolet24)

[avamariele-deactivated20170909]

I had a lot of whorephobia within myself before I started dancing. I was quick to tell customers that “I was only paying my way through school” and that I have a “real” job with “real” ambitions waiting for me in the future. I was quick to tell my friends that at least I’m not doing extras to feed a drug addiction. I was quick to validate myself to anyone who would listen. It doesn’t fucking matter though. Non sex workers will never respect us to the full extent that we deserve. So if they aren’t going to be here for us, we do. We need to stand together and validate each other. Career strippers are just as important as college strippers. Girls that touch are just as important as girls that don’t touch. No one is better than the other. Full service, partial service, street based or indoors, sex workers are all important and not a single one of us deserves to be dehumanized by the W slur. If you don’t want to be dehumanized, don’t dehumanize others. Whorephobia ends with yourself.

[finchesandinches]

Left; 106.9kg, miserable, defeated.

Right; 69 kg, unstoppable. 

Two years and so many ups and downs I’ve got whiplash, but Im finally starting to come to terms with and love my body for what it’s always been, and what it’s always done for me.